As I was falling alseep the other night I was praying and asking God to help me listen to Him and hear His Voice.  Asking the Father to make me more sensitive to the Holy Spirit and to listen to Him in the many forms He chooses to speak with me.  To have ears wide open and to hear with my spirit what all He desires to say to me.  This is the dream I recall when I awoke the next morning:

I had the sense that I was looking at a canoe and that Jesus and Peter were on board.  Jesus was sitting on one of the canoe seats and looked up at Peter and patted the seat next to him.  The words I sensed Jesus saying were these:  "Come and sit by me Peter.  I know that you've fished all night and not caught one thing.  I want you to come and sit beside me here.  I want to make you feel better."

In the dream I sensed that Peter sat down and Jesus explained to him what he wanted Peter to do.  When Peter obeyed the boat became so full of fish that it began to sink and another boat had to be called in to help haul all the fish caught back to the shore.

I awoke thinking about the dream and what it meant.  I recalled reading a similar story in the Bible and began to think of the way Jesus might be communicating to me through the dream.  I realized 2 things as I meditated on this:

1.  Jesus did not cause all the fish to be caught to get any glory out it.  He just honestly wanted to make Peter feel better.  It had been a long night and Peter was surely tired and disappointed.  Fishing was his lively hood -  his source of income and his career/choice.  To work all night and not be productive at all would surely be discouraging. 

Jesus, being the Friend that He is, sought to encourage Peter and lift his spirits.  He did what He could at the moment to help Peter in his time of stress, need, and depression.  Jesus simply caused lots of fish to be caught in a very short time period.  Simple for Jesus.  Easy task for the Creator of the Universe.  No problem.  But for Peter !!!!  ----  A great sense of encouragement and a spark to ignite a fire in his heart.  Such a large spark that the next thing Jesus asked Peter to do was possible to answer with a resounding, "Yes!"

2.  Jesus had first asked Peter to throw the net back into the water -although Peter knew from the experience of 'all night fishing' with no catch - this seemed a silly thing to do.  Yet, Peter obeyed.  Jesus blessed the obedience with 2 boat loads of fresh fish in a moment's time!  I believe Jesus did this to increase Peter's faith so the next command He would ask of Peter would be easier to answer.  The next command was, "Come and follow me and I will make you a fisher of men!" 

Think of it.  After probably the biggest catch of his life career as a fisherman Peter is asked to 'walk away from it all' and follow Jesus!  Seems like a huge and impossible command to obey, huh?  Well .......  not if you are Peter. 

From Peter's perspective Jesus had just done the impossible.  He had just done something that Peter - as a professional fisherman - knew was impossible.  A true miracle. 

Just like the rest of us ......  Jesus deals with us as individuals with unique thoughts, careers/jobs, ideas and concerns.  He comes at just the right time to encourage us when we are in deep despair.  Then He blesses us beyond measure.  And the unique and specific blessing is for us only.  It might not mean as much to someone else.  Truth be known - it may only be understood by us and appreciated by us - but that is OK if no one else understands.  Jesus did it for us - not someone else.  We are each unique and special to Him and He takes the time to meet us where we are.  He senses our deepest need at the moment.

Remember when I said I saw Jesus in the dream patting the seat beside Him in the canoe and asking Peter to sit down beside Him?  I believe that is what He calls us to do.  To spend a moment or two just sitting beside Him and hearing Him out. Sensing His Presence and listening for His still quiet Voice - expecting that He truly desires to Help us, Comfort us, and Be with us. 

The other voices in the world yell, scream and shout for attention.  To hear His Voice we must sit down beside Him in the stillness and listen for His command and then obey.  No matter how illogical or silly it seems.  No matter how much we think we know.  No matter what our intellect tells us.  To simply listen and then follow out His instructions to the letter!

When we do this, as Peter did, we are surely in for a Blessing.  One beyond measure.  One that might not mean so much to everyone else in our realm of influence .....  but a blessing that for us is a Kiss from Heaven.  A sure sign that we are loved and seen by our Awesome Creator and that He cares enough to come along beside us and meet us in our deepest needs.

And then ... guess what .....  the next thing He asks of us will be a little easier to obey.  Our faith will have grown just enough to be able to say 'Yes' to the next request.  And so on and so forth ......  we will grow more and more into the Image of Christ who obeyed the Father in every detail of His life. 

Will it be a life of adventure?  Yes! 

Will it be unpredictable?  Probably. 

Will it be fulfilling?  Most definitely. 

Will it be a life filled with love, purpose and passion?  Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  How could it be any less?  God knows what He created you to be.  His.  And once we are committed to being just that - HIS - we are in for the ride of our lives because we will be living each moment in His Will and in His Ways and He never makes mistakes.

Trust Him.  He created you.  No one else in this world is like you.  There will never be another you on this planet.  What ever you are supposed to do here .....  only you can do it. 

Bask in His Love.  Climb up next to him on the seat of your empty canoe and let Him encourage you and guide you and teach you.  Listen to His Ways and follow them.  Don't let logic or your intellect get in the way.  Let Him guide you by His Spirit.  Ask Him to make you sensitive to His Voice and His Leadings.  He is so creative and He made you to be creative also.  Don't try to 'fit into a mold' or 'stay in the box' -- just be His.  That is your job - TO BE HIS ALONE.

Dear Jesus,  I don't know all that you wanted to show me through this dream.  But the love and compassion I sensed overwhelmed me.  To think that You didn't fill those boats up so that You could receive glory and honor and praise .....  but to encourage a discouraged fishermen ...  and then to encourage Him to a lifetime of service to You.  You are an amazing God .....  teach us more of YourSelf and Your Ways.  Forgive us for being so close-minded, puffed-up and prideful.  Teach our hearts to humbly walk before You and obey whatever You ask of us.  In Jesus Name we ask, believe and receive.  I love you Lord........ Your Child-Belinda

Dear Readers,

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My husband, childen and I have had the blessing of exploring a 'deserted beach' recently.  Not actually 'deserted' but when you when run into only 1 or 2 other people during your visit you can see why that name fits!

When the tide is out you can walk out towards the ocean for atleast 1/2 a mile to explore the ocean bottom.  In some spots the tiny tide pools left may be 1 inch deep......  we found 3 sand dollars, clams, horshoe crabs, crabs, and many many shells of a variety of colors, shapes and sizes.

The children took off their shoes and were content to explore as much of the area as they could in the time we had.  Precious thoughts ran through my head as I watched them skip joyfully along the beach shore with such excitment and heard their squeals of delight as they found a new 'treasure.'  Within a few minutes both shell buckets were practically full.......

Being less than 7 weeks from my due date .....  my legs weren't wanting to carry me as far or fast as theirs were moving.  So I was delighted to find a huge span of area covered with dry small shells to explore.  A nice dry spot to sit my rear-end and rest my tired legs and feet!  I sat there for over 20 minutes or so just examining all the tiny pieces and basking in the wonder of God's Handiwork.  Beautiful!

Sadly, I often don't take the time to just sit and 'be.'  To just bask in the moment and fully enjoy that moment for what it is.  I turned my head up often to see my husband way up ahead searching for beach treasures.....each of my 5 children following somewhere behind him on the expanse of the beach.  Quietness, Contentedness, and Savoring the Moment. 

Time flies by so quickly.  I don't think we ever truly realize how easily time escapes us.  It is, indeed, 'fleeting.'  When those moments hit us and we fully realize, if only for a split second, how quickly life passes us by........expectations, hopes, dreams, ideals, and priorities in life change.  The shift turns our hearts towards the things that really matter.  People, relationships, and memories to be made. 

My oldest child is only 12 but I see in her face the gradual changes into adulthood.  That childhood is quickly passing ..... fading .....  and I so want her to hold on to her youth and childhood for as long as possible.  To watch her bask in her innocence and enjoy the freedoms and gift of childhood before they are snatched from her.  I want to protect her, shelter her, and keep that 'freedom' for her.  Seems to me that this ideal should be one of our goals as parents.  To protect childhood for as long as possilble.

When Jesus said that we 'must become as little children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven' I think He was emphasizing the importance of childhood and child-like qualities.  So why the rush to grow up?  I don't think that children naturally want to 'grow up' fast.  I do think that the world and society at large encourage our children to want to grow up and be able to do all the things they are missing right now. 

But isn't that similar to how Satan tricked Eve?  By making her think that she was missing something.  He made her believe that  just enjoying the pleasure of Paradise and basking in God's Creation was not enough.  That there must be something more.  Something she was missing out on.  Satan somehow made her think that the grass was greener on the other side.  That disobedience and 'growing up' in her knowledge of good and evil could somehow be better than she already had it.

Looking at that truth from Scripture now it is easy to see how stupid, foolish, and deadly her decision was.  But we would have done the same thing ......  if we'd been in her shoes.  From time to time we all think 'there must be something better' than where God has us at the moment. 

We often think we are missing out on something.  This may come when we compare our life to someone else or when we watch what the media or movie portray as 'successful and happy' lives.  Satan gets the upperhand and deceives us and we fall prey to the same tactic as Eve did ..... almost daily ...  if we are not careful and on the alert to his schemes.

Satan and the world system has sucessfully convinced children of this 'missing out' deception (thus forcing them to grow up too quickly)  and the world does a good job of convincing adults the same.  And what is the result?  NO CONTENTMENT.  No contentment leads to no joy and no pleasure and we lose the gift of the moment that God has right in front of us.  Such a shame.  Such a pity. 

We miss the beauty of the minute by focusing on the next hour...  or day ..... or week.  We miss the joy of the task at hand by looking ahead at our 'to do' list.  If you watch children closely and listen to them .....  really listen ......  they tend not to do this.  Atleast not until they are a little older -- maybe nearing the teen years.  They seem to have this idea that each moment is just as critical as the next.  No need to rush or hurry.  Just time to focus and enjoy and just 'to be.'

I'm beginning to believe that is why Satan so targets our childhood.  We are supposed to be like 'little children' as members of the Kingdom of God!  Satan has worked so strategically to kill whatever concept we have of 'childhood' that we've lost so much in the onslaught.  We've even bought into the idea that pushing children to grow up is a good thing.  Think about it ...... we do it in our child-rearing.  "Don't cry.  Don't pout.  Don't mess up.  Don't get dirty.  Don't be so loud.  Don't play so rough.  Don't act silly.  Don't do that.  Don't do this.  No.  No.  No."

Can you imagine what our words must sound like to little people who are still so excited about life and living and exploring and learning and basking in God's Creation and all His Goodness?  They must think that we live the most boring lives imagineable.  (And aren't they right,  especially if we compare our mind-sets to theirs.)

Can we really be like children again? 

Do we really desire to be? 

Do we even know how to embrace that type of freedom and mindset?

As much as I love being a mother.....as much as I love my five children (soon to be 6).....as much as I long to be closer to them and more like them in their quiet trust, obedience, and joy .......   I have so much to learn from them. 

My children are truly my teachers and I am just going along for the ride.  Sometimes my ideas, preplanned agenda, and goals get in their way and I'm sure they regret that.  But my heart longs to 'do right' in the eyes of the Lord for my children.  One way I believe I can do that is by truly listening to them and allowing them to be who they are.  Who God created them to be.  Not to force them to 'grow up' and 'be responsible' when they have a childhood God has blessed them with right now.

Dear Lord,  You never fail to remind me to enjoy the moment.  I so often fail at this.  May I learn from You and by observing the qualities of my children.  May I respect the traits You have so wisely put within them. 

Please bless my intentions and help me to learn from that which You uncover through them and their characteristics.  Develop within me the traits that please You that are childlike and precious to Your Heart.  Open my eyes to see my children and others the way You do.  Forgive my heart for wanting something different than that which I have right now. 

May this moment  and each and every moment be a reason for Praise and Thanksgiving to You.  May I be totally present in each moment of each day and see the Gift of each moment You allow me to live here on this earth.  Thank you for allowing me to share this journey with Kevin and the children.  I love you, Lord Jesus.  ....Belinda..... Your Child

Interactive Learning Sites

I love it when I find a 'gold nugget' while researching on the internet.  Because I believe that memorizing facts is dull and boring and a 'not so natural way' of learning ......  I enjoy finding sites that encourage and  help my children learn some basic skills in fun, interesting and exciting ways.  Sometimes a simple computer game can do the trick. Listed below are some of my favorite Online Interactive Learning Sites.)

**Check back often as I will be adding more as I go on frequent 'treasure hunts.'**

Learning to Read Sites:

Click N Read Lessons Online  (** use my email as the promotional code  kwr@pstel.net and receive $10 off the price of the program**  My son learned to read using this with NO HELP from me ....  well worth the $$$$  ..... My favorite find so far for reading/phonics programs!)

Starfall - Learn to Read

Online Story Books

My Schoolhouse Free Lessons

Books Come to Life

Stories Online

Manuscript Animation

 Learning Basic Math Sites:

Math Games

More Math Facts to Practice

Math Playground

Cool Math Site

Information on Learning

I find it amazing that each of us enters life full of curiosity and a desire to learn any and everything we can.  The excitement of exploration often gets us into trouble when we are young.  Think babies and toddlers ......  crawling, climbing, licking, tasting, tumbling, rolling, giggling, babbling, talking, touching, sniffing, staring, holding, pulling, tugging, rubbing, grabbing, running, toddling, walking, jumping, bouncing, etc.  To describle a young child is full of action verbs .....  movement ...... discovery ..... often followed by squeals of joy and delight.

What happens to that trait?  Does is slowly disappear or does it, sadly, get covered up by other less desireable traits?  Does the joy of learning slowly die on its own by our natural makeup ........  or is it killed - murdered by the onslaught of forced learning that begins to take place in our world system that is so focused on 'academic achievements' and 'success'?

Over the years I've pondered similar thoughts as those mentioned above.  As a result I've questioned the 'way we do things' as a whole in this world.  This led me to research the way we learn naturally and if this type of learning can continue through life.

Below you will find links to helpful articles that have served to encourage me and to teach me and to help me rethink all I thought I knew about learning......

Natural Learning - Article

Nuturing a Love for Learning

How to Know if Your Child is Learning

A Mother's Confession

Learning.....A Way of Life

Engines for Education

Natural Learning Environments

Why Homeschool?

An Example of Learning Naturally

Homeschooling: The Gift of Time

 Natural Learning Makes Sense

Unschooling Article by Sandra Dodd

Natural Learning . net

Unschooling FAQs

Organizing Your Natural Learning Day

Underground History of American Education

 Delight Driven Learning

 ** I will continue to add more links to interesting articles and information as I build this site.  Check in regularly.**

The Birth of The Resource Center

My homeschooling journey began when my oldest daughter was born 12 years ago and will continue on until I meet my Maker in heaven.  Why so long?  Because we are always learning,  we are always homeschoolers, and we are always on this journey called life until we enter our Eternal home at death's door.

Twelve years into this journey I now have 5 children with a 6th on the way!  Lots of things have changed over the years.  My thoughts, my heart, my ideas, my beliefs about education, my style of mothering, and my mind.  Some say ingorance is bliss ..... but the truth is that ignorance keeps you paralyzed, stagnant and boring. 

Seek the Truth in all areas that you question about life and learning.  Dare to be different.  Dare to be the true you!  Let your children be free to do the same!

A life long pursuit of learning and seeing other viewpoints and listening to other's ideas encourages growth and promotes positive change.  A fear of 'getting out of the box' or 'going against the flow' or 'doing something different or radical' keeps many people from a freedom they never knew existed. 

Why let the chains of fear and being different bind you forever?  Be free to be who God created you to be.  He doesn't have one specific label for you (or for your type of homeschooling adventure.)  He is far too creative to limit you to 'one label' that you must fit into in this life. 

Be all He created you to be.  Bask in that freedom.  Renew your mind with He as your guide.  Take all your questions, fears and concerns to Him.  Let Him be your Teacher and you family's teacher.

My prayer is that this Resource Center will be a place where parents can come and research and be encouraged on this journey of Educating Their Children at Home.  A place for locating information quickly and then reading it with an open mind and from a prayerful position. 

I don't know what your journey looks like but my prayer is that the path will become more clear as you move towards the Lord and search for His Will and Way for your family.

For me this life journey has been centered around the education of my children.  How to best carry out this endeavor has been my search over the years.  During that journey I read and researched and reread and researched some more.  All the while prayerfully listening to what the Lord was teaching me through my trials, day to day duties, and responsibilities.  As I've gone through this process (and continue to do so) I've learned alot and I have been humbled even more.  Pride comes in many forms and thinking we 'know the best way' to homeschool is one of those forms.

I do not claim to know the 'best way' to homeschool your children.  But God does.  Not the government.  Not the state schools.  Not the private schools.  Not teachers you know.  Not friends you know.  Not family members who try to be helpful.  And certainly not me.  But God does know what is best for each and every individual child.  He created each to be different and unique so no one curriculum or method could ever possibly be right for every child.  .............So how in the world can this gift of homeschooling our children ever be done?

I'm convinced the gift of homeschooling our children becomes a burden when we do it our way or in a way designed by someone else other than God's Way.  And to find God's Way we must each, individually, Seek His Will and research and renew our minds and look at all the options.  In time He will change our hearts and renew our minds to match His own and then, and only then, can we truly educate our children in a way that pleases Him.

May He bless you with wisdom and faith and strength and joy as you embrace His Gift of your children and the growth achieved during their childhood.  Bask in the freedom of being who He created you to be and allow your children that same freedom.  Pray together and share ideas and listen to one another and decide for yourselves based on your knowledge, experiences, revelations and circumstances what your homeschool journey should be.  Then enjoy the ride  --  that is what the Lord wants to give you!  Freedom and Joy, pure joy!

Watching the children......

Today I discovered my 5 and 3 year old lying on a pillow beside my bed.  They had created a 'tent' using clean bed sheets and towels.  When I asked what they were doing the 5 year old replied, "Playing.  We are hamsters and this is our home."

My 12 and 7 year old daughters were dressed 'old timey' and had set up different 'stores' around the house.  One was a natural medicine doctor's office stocked full of natural meds (borrowed from my pantry shelves), the other was a clothes store with their clothes on hangers covering their bedroom furniture, and one is in the basement (I haven't actually seen it yet.)

Earlier my 9 year old son and 5 year old son came upstairs looking for quarters.  When I asked, "Why?" they replied that they needed them to buy tea.  The girls had set up a hot tea/coffee shop in the kitchen and were charging for the drinks.  Since noone actually had money they wanted to part with in exchange for the tea I ruled that the money had to be returned or not to charge money at all.  From the looks of the kitchen table I guess they did have 'tea time' together!

My 12 year old has taken a sincere interest in preparing supper for us.  The other 4 children prefer her cooking over mine.  (Maybe because she always prepares some dessert afterwards .....  I'd like to think that was the reason.  But to be honest she is creative with her recipes and they are soooooo tastey while  my cooking gets a bit boring!)

She even picked out some items she HAD TO HAVE from the store last night to 'stock her kitchen' the way she needed it.  She talked her Daddy into buying her a spice rack, a Rachel Ray cookbook, wooden spoons and measuring cups/spoons.  I'm looking forward to more of her cooking!!

All these little tidbits of info on my children serve a purpose today:  To remind me that God is good and that He is leading my children to be the creative, intelligent and special people He created them to be. 

You see ....  if you haven't read past blogs on homeschooling here ....  I am a professed struggling, used to be 'strict school at home' mommy, who is now searching for God's Will and Leading in our learning adventures.  Recently the realization that 'testing time' was upcoming made me begin to question where I have been and where I am going and where HE is leading.

Long story short .....  Let Go and Let God seems to be the theme the Lord keeps placing in my heart.  And the amazing thing is that when I actually obey that and live day by day, moment by moment, in His Grace and His Will, the children come up with spontaneous, creative and awesome learning activities.  And have FUN while doing it, all the while building relationships with one another and thriving in the joy of just being ALIVE!

How I desire to be more like that.  The freedom of living moment to moment without worrying about what the next hour or day holds.  To live without the constant nagging of 'what I need to do' or  'forgot to do' or 'should have done' or whatever.......

Walking in the Grace of God is simple ....  yet so difficult when we have such a huge enemy opposing us - OURSELVES! 

I think we were born 'control freaks' due to the fact we had EVERYTHING we could ever have wanted or needed in the garden of Eden ....  and yet we (Eve and Adam) chose to try and get a little more .....  to be like God - in control - and knowing what He knew .... instead of just trusting in His Goodness.

I desire to trust in His Goodness and His Will for myself, Kevin and each of our children.  I don't know everything and they never will either.  But, by God's Grace and His Goodness, we WILL KNOW everything we need to in order to accomplish His Purposes for us as long as we abide in Him and obey His Word and Call on our lives.  Our Call is to trust Him and follow Him -- wherever He leads -- even when we don't understand and when we can't see the results.  Obedience .....  and leave the results to Him.

Lord, once again,  I surrender myself, my wants and desires to You.  You know what my children need more than I or anyone else.  Lead us,  Motivate us.  Make us passionate about You and what You would have us do with our time here on earth.  Your Will and Way - not ours.  We love you.  Thank you that You loved us first and will never let us go.  In Jesus' Name I ask, believe and receive all You have for us from Your Riches in Glory.  ~Belinda ~

Have you noticed how blessings come in cycles often followed by times of hardships, pain / suffering?

I've read similar devotionals on this topic recently and also experience this in my personal life.  One day I'm having a mountaintop  experience only to wake up the next feeling like I am in a deep, dark valley.

I go from having a day in which it is very easy to spend time Praising God and basking in His Goodness and Blessings.  Then during the same week I may have a day filled with a questioning heart, eyes brimming with tears and a mouth that is not uttering praises at all!

I spoke with my sister and a friend about this recently.  Not a new topic to anyone ....  we all experience this.  If this is so common  to our lives then why do we find it so difficult and hard to accept?

My spirit tells me that the Lord is answering a prayer my heart has cried for many years, "Lord, I want to be fruitful in season and out of season.  I want to be consistent and steady in my walk with You as I trust You."

Regardless of what I see, hear, taste, feel or smell -- I want to KNOW in the deep recesses of my heart that God is Good All the Time and that nothing would move me from that Truth.  I'm learning that the only way to come to that sort of Faith and Walk with God is to abide in Him, share His  Heart, Hear His Voice and Bask in His Love, Goodness and Presence.

And how do we actually do that?

By being in His Word, by obeying what we know He has commanded of us, and by submitting to His Way over our own will, ideas, and plans.  I often cry out for a continuous thirst and hunger for God Himself.  "Keep me thirsty.  Keep me hungry."  If you are not prepared to be humbled VERY OFTEN this is a prayer you will refuse to pray. 

I am learning that the events and circumstances He allows / orchestrates into my life actually serve to answer many of my prayers.  Atleast the prayers that are in accordance with His priorities and plans. 

Remember that God's Overall Plan and Purpose is to make me into the Image of Christ.  To do that God must slowly begin to 'kill' the self in me.  My Self must be destroyed so that a better, more perfect and unblemished reflection of Jesus may appear.  Although that image will never be a true and perfect reflection -- the process will lead to progress as I submit and allow Him to work freely with His Creation : Me.

And what was Christ like? -- Humble.  Obedient.  Living LIfe with a Servant Heart.  The One and Only True Essence of Pure Love with walking legs and healing hands and a compassionate heart.  Sinless.  Perfection.  Full of Love and Grace and Mercy and Forgiveness. 

The more I read my Bible and ask God to reveal Himself to me .....  the more I realize how truly lacking I am.  The Word is true when it say 'there is no good thing in me.'  'I can do NOTHING without Jesus.'  Oh, the world may think I am doing 'something' but in reality it amounts to nothing in the view of Eternity and in the eyes of God.

Who am I here to please?

Myself? NO.

My husband? No.

My children? No.

My authorities? No.

My parents? No.

My friends, coworkers, etc?  No.

The Word instructs me to 'Please God rather than man.'  Above and beyond all else - EVERYTHING I do should be proceded by these questions? 

Will this please God? 

Will this bring Him Glory? 

Why am I doing this?  Is my motivation pure or is it selfish? 

In a world and culture that is so self-absorbed and self-seeking , as spirit filled believers we swim upstream.  The world shouts!  And God whispers.

So to truly hear His Voice we must FORCE ourselves to be quiet.  To get still before Him.  To silence our thoughts, our cell phones, our TVs, our music, etc.  We must set our minds to KNOW HIM, to spend time with Him, to remember Him during our day.

How can we so easily lose sight of our Creator who NEVER loses sight of us?

How can we forget, even for one moment, the God who turned His back on His Son (covered in our sin) so that we might be made into a right relationship with Himself?  How dare we forget!!!!!

Many times during my morning quiet time with Jesus I humbly ask, "Lord, please remind me of Yourself today.  I am prone to forget You.  Please remind me of Your Presence."  He answers this prayers.  It might be a beautiful part of Creation I notice.  It might be a word from one of my children.  It might be a sudden quiet feeling in my spirit. 

He DESIRES us more than we desire Him.  He longs to be known by us more than we long to know Him.  He wants us more than we want Him.  Isn't that just not logical?  The Creator of the Universe LONGING for a conversation and time with us ....  and we go about our merry little way not even giving Him a second glance or thought.  Oh, Lord, forgive our selfish, self-centered, arrogant and stubborn selves.  Forgive us. 

The AMAZING part is that He know us PERFECTLY and yet still desires to love and be loved by us. 

He is on our team. 

He is our cheerleader. 

He wants what is best for us and our children more than we do. 

We are just so simple, and limited and merely human that we often don't agree with His Ways and Methods.  But when we contemplate Who He really is ---  we cannot doubt that His Way has got to be the Best and Only Perfect Way.  Because only He is ALL-KNOWING and Pure Love.

It comes down to HUMILITY.  The opposite of which is pride - the sin that had Satan thrown from Heaven.

We must humble ourselves under God and His Authority in ALL areas of our lives.  There is nothing we can do without Him.  He is our very breath of life.  If not for Him the next breath we drew would not give us air.  If not for Him we couldn't have a thought.  Our lips wouldn't speak.  Our ears wouldn't hear.  Our bodies wouldn't move.  Our minds wouldn't understand.  Our hearts wouldn't beat.  NOTHING WOULD WORK.

I am reading a book God As He Longs for You to See Him by Chip Ingram.  The truths I am learning about God and the myths I am recognizing are helping me to begin to see a glimpse of His Glory.  In church and social cirlces I don't think Christians give God all the credit He is due.  We have Him put into our own little boxes of understanding .... and in doing so we've created our own little god that NOWHERE matches up to the true Glory of God.  Lord, Help us here.  Renew our minds and hearts to the Truth of Who You Are and who we are not!

I leave with this incredible Truth from the Word.  As we know God more and learn of Him you'd think we would be scared of Him and His Power.  And while we do need to fear Him in the sense of reverencing, honoring and obeying Him He does NOT want us scared of Him and running to hide.  Listen to this:

The Lord is for me, so I will not be afraid.

Yes, the Lord is for me;  He will help me.  Psalm 118:6

He desires to be our friend.  But to be one's true friend there must be the trust factor. 

Do you trust God?

Can He trust you?

My prayer for all believers:

Lord, we need clear revelation of Who You are.  Your Character, Your Love, Your Truth, Your Word, and Your display of Yourself in Jesus Christ Your Son.  Reveal Yourself to us.  In Your Word, through our circumstances, during our quiet times with You.  Keep us hungry and thirsty for more of You.  May we fall into such deep love for You that NOTHING in this world compares to being a friend with You.  Forgive my forgetfulness and my inattention to You and Your Hand and Grace and Mercy each day.  Walk with me.  Talk with me.  And may I grant You your heart's desire as I turn to face You, listen to You and speak with You and submit and obey You.  IN Jesus' Precious and Loving Name I ask.  Amen  ~Belinda~

Today Kevin, myself and the children returned from a trip to Free Chapel in Gainsville, GA to celebrate the end of a public 21-Day Daniel Fast.  Pastor Jentenzen Franklin and the worship team led an incredible service.....  atleast the portion I saw .....  I spent half the service in the car with my 5 year old who evidently has a stomach virus.

Thought I'd share with you the 'distractions' that came our way during the past 21 Days of Seeking God and Pursuing Him and Worshipping Him .....

Things began to 'happen' on day 3 of the fast.  My 5 year old (yep, same one with the stomach virus today) took some tests to see what is causing some stomach issues.  All the results are not in yet, but an adrenal cyst was ruled out.  Giardia, h-pylori bacteria in his gut was found, as well as parasites......  we are still waiting on a stool test to see if worms could be present. 

So .... pretty much this has been a part of our 21-Day journey on our fast.....

During this same 21 Day period 4 of my children had some sort of fever, head cold, pink eye infection, ear pains/pressure and sinus problems and coughs.  Not at the same time .....  so someone seemed always to be 'not quite up to par.' 

Add to that .... whatever the children managed to 'fight off' pretty well turned into Strep infection in my larynx.  I'm still not talking normal but the nightly cough jags ended about a week ago.  (I know my husband is glad that he can finally sleep without hearing me coughing, gagging and gasping for air!)

We had planned to get to Free Chapel this weekend at the very first day of the fast and then slowly decided that 'it was too far,'  'we needed to visit a friend's church that we'd not visited yet,'  'we've been traveling too much already' ..... 

We pretty much had settled on not going to Free Chapel today, but a few days ago my husband was convinced in his spirit that we were supposed to be there.

In the mean time, my oldest daughter of 11 years started experiencing headaches.  From  Tuesday until today (of this week) she has had a sudden headaches hit about the same time each day.  Most of the time a Motrin dosage would alleviate it and she went on normally.  Then the Motrin stopped working and at about noon each day the headache returned.  Still waiting on full results from that ........ 

 she felt fine when we headed for Gainesville yesterday....

But, my 5 year old threw up about the time her headache had subsided.  We turned around and came back home and decided to pray and wait it out for a few hours and then head back towards  to Gainsville.  After and hour or so we felt like we should try and go.  After prayer together we felt in our spirits we needed to 'go and be there.'

Last night in the hotel my oldest daughter's headache came back.  Lander couldn't eat supper but felt well all night and everyone slept well. 

Off to church at Free Chapel we headed for the 9am Celebration Service.  We all got to worship together for half the service and then Lander (my 5 year old) decided he needed to visit the restroom.  He and I spent the rest of the time in the car fighting off another 'throw up' bout. 

I share all this to say this:

Yes, I am tired. 

Yes, I am weary.

Yes, I don't like to see my children sick and hurting and in pain. 

But God is showing me that He loves them WAY MORE THAN I DO and that He has big plans for each of them and for my husband and for me. 

But we have to FIGHT to be where He wants us to be.  Whether it is in Gainsville, GA or somewhere else.  Physically or Spiritually  - He always has plans for us and we must follow, and fight to follow and obey, if distractions arise. 

On the way home from Free Chapel we stopped to get lunch.  Once again, due to Lander throwing up, he and I sat in the car while the others went in for lunch.  (Kevin had missed supper last night in order to sit in the car with Lander). 

Lander had his worst bout with nausea and looked absolutely PATHETIC while they were inside eating. He never threw up but looked so sad.  I prayed over him...

told him how much God loved him. ....

wiped his face over and over with a wet wipe ....

and sang "God is so good" and "This is the day that the Lord has made" ......

When the other 5 members of our family came out from eating lunch we got everybody settled and were heading home .......  about 15 minutes into the 2 hour trip home Sierra (my 11 year old) said her headache was back and it was really bad. 

Earlier I had sat in the car when leaving Free Chapel with tears streaming down my face...

I wasn't particularly sad or worried. 

Just plain tired. 

Weary from the fight. 

Tired of seeing my children suffer without any means to help them. 

Tired from being 20 weeks pregnant and having been sick myself for 3 weeks. 

Tired. 

Plain ole worn out tired. 

As my husband, Kevin, saw my tears he cheered me with words from scripture.  Not direct quotes but words I know to be the Truth. 

The Lord reminded me through Kevin: 

That we are NOT to walk defeated. 

We are not defeated because Christ has overcome the world and Satan is in the world thus Satan has been defeated and overcome by Christ. 

He spoke words of life to me and reminded me that Christ has prepared an inheritance for me in Heaven and a home which He is building and it is mine and nothing can take it from me. 

So after their lunch break (and my time with Lander in the car alone with him and Jesus) I felt stronger. 

Less tired. 

More focused and determined. 

So when Sierra's heachache returned I was more in a fighting mood than before.  God had already prepared me, once again.  He is sooooooo good! 

I silently prayed and released my thoughts to Jesus.

Right before I typed this entry Sierra shared something with me.  She said she fell asleep in the car, crying, because her head hurt so bad and that she had prayed.  At some point during her car nap she saw a hand come and place itself over her eye and the right side of her head that hurt so bad.  The pain was immediatly released and stopped!! 

Come to find out this was the same time Lander started singing and dancing in his car seat and acting totally well again.  Moments before you would've thought he was SICK, SICK, SICK.

I am convinced, now that I sit and ponder the past 3 weeks, that Christ allowed us times to fight and believe and pray to strenghthen our faith. 

Time to lie in His arms and wait. 

Time to dethrone ourselves and put Him in His rightful place.

Time to focus on Him and not our own difficulties and wallow in self pity. 

Time to be His and focus on what He called us to do ....  fast and pray and Seek His Face.

I am not sure what tomorrow may hold ....  but I know who holds tomorrow in His Hand.  And I know that He is Able to do much more than all that I can imagine or think or ask for.  And that what He causes to come to pass is much better than I could ever dream of.  I also believe that He loves me, Kevin, and each of my children MUCH MORE THAN  I DO so I would be a complete fool not to trust in His care, provision, and guidance.

Lord, once again, I place us all on the throne at Your Feet and I wait expectantly and joyfully at all You are teaching us.  Strengthen us to be Your Warriors and to Fight for that which concerns You.  To Rest in Your Grace and Rely on Your strength and to Call upon Your Name.  To Trust in Your Goodness and know, deep in our hearts and spirits, that EVERYTHING You do is Good because You are God.

I love you and I desire to know and love You more.  Teach me of Your True Nature so that I can see myself and others from Your Perspective.  I desire Your Will in our lives .... not my own will or Satan's will ....  but ONLY YOUR PERFECT WILL and for Your Glory alone!  ~Belinda~