Random.org drew comment #13 as the winner.   So, Christi of Through the Calm and Through the Storm blog is the winner of a downloaded version of One Silent Night: An FFH Christmas!   I hope you enjoy the album, Chisti!

April E.

How many times has someone told me they just moved their parent into an assisted living home or a nursing home?  Stated matter-of-factly, without pouring out their whole story.  How many times did I basically ignore their statement and continue with my own concerns?

Not everyone shares openly about the decision or the process, but I’m learning that there has to have been a story.  Even if their parent was in full agreement with the move, or unable to protest the move, there is still a story.  Even if every sibling agreed on every detail along the way, there is still a story.  Even if there is only one choice for where to place their parent, there is still a story.  A story filled with strong emotions, indecision, confusion, difficult discussions, overwhelming fatigue, regrets, and stress.

I will never again hear those words, and glibly say “I’m sorry” and move on in the conversation.  I will stop, look them in the eye, ask how it went and let them know I care about them and the struggle they’ve faced.  And since the struggle rarely ends once their parent is moved, I’ll continue to ask how it’s going.  I just never knew all that was wrapped up in that sentence.
April E.

Random.org drew comment #4 as the winner.  So, I’ll notify Jeannine that she won, and Propeller will send the DVD out to her.  Thanks for entering!

April E.

It seems that I constantly have a book in my hand these days.  I’m pretty sure I’ve read every book on Alzheimer’s and Caregiving that our library has, as well as a few that I bought elsewhere.  The problem is, every Alzheimer’s case is different in how it affects the individual, every individual has a different personality to begin with, and every family has different dynamics. In other words, I keep reading and searching for answers, but there isn’t one sure-fire solution.

To be honest, just when I started to lose hope that we’d ever get the car keys taken away from Steve’s Mom before she had an accident, God stepped in and provided a way.  We were easily able to remove his Mom’s car, without any anger or drama.  Now, 2 months later, she never even talks about needing a new car or needing to go anywhere.  We make sure she has all the groceries and items she needs, get her to the hairdresser and doctor appointments, check on her daily, and all is well.

But now we have to figure out how to get her to willingly move into an assisted living facility, or whether to step in and take legal actions to force her to move.  Honestly, we’ve already been told that if we don’t move her, and if we tried to have home services set up, it was likely that a case file would be opened and the government would step in and make her move.  Knowing that, we could invite the Area Agency on Aging out to visit with her about needing to move, and let them open that case file.  But, we’d still like to avoid that, just as we’d like to not have to legally force this step.

But how in the world do you tell a woman who has no concept of her own disability (anymore) that she’s not able to live on her own.  From her perspective, all is well.  She no longer realizes she forgets things.  She no longer tracks time to realize it’s been weeks since she showered.  She doesn’t realize that losing weight is a health issue.  She can’t tell us what she ate that day, though she’s always sure she ate something.  She can’t even track how often she’s in pain or not feeling well.  She can only tell you how she feels at that moment.

I don’t want anything bad to happen to her.  I don’t want her to fall and break a leg or anything.  But I do want God to change her heart and her perspective.  Somehow.  We’ve already had one hard discussion with her not understanding our concerns and accusing us of being nosy, over-reacting, and interfering.  (Not that she could think of all those words, but that was the gist of her feelings.)

One of the books I’m reading this week really touches home — revealing some issues to me, assuring me of our decisions, and maybe offering some insight as to how to proceed.  Maybe.  I’m reading The 36-Hour Day, the old classic.  I need to see if the library has a more recent version than the one I picked up used.

Chapter 3 talked about the loss of sense of time.  We knew Mom had no sense of time.  She’d tell you she did something 20 minutes ago, then a few sentences later say it was 4 hours ago, and we knew she was randomly stating times without any real understanding of how long ago it really was.   She usually can’t even tell us how long ago her husband died, or how long her mom had Alzheimer’s Disease, or how long it’s been since she saw one of her other children.  We knew that. But I hadn’t realized that the reason we often couldn’t get her to stay for a nice visit was due to this lack of sense of time.

Then we read in chapter 3 about others who would leave after barely arriving at their child’s home, or would leave as soon as the meal was finished.  Steve’s Mom kept doing this and we had no idea why she wouldn’t stay longer.  She didn’t seem mad, or overly confused, but she just wouldn’t stay for a nice visit.  Now I see it’s because she doesn’t know how long she’s been there, and thinks it’s been longer than it has been.

Mom is also always wanting to move.  After she was widowed, she kept saying she either wanted to move here near us (where she lived early in her marriage and her husband is buried) or back to where she grew up.  We were thankful when she stopped changing her mind and moved here near us, where we could help take care of her.  Except she hadn’t been here three months before she started saying she thought she wanted to move to where she grew up, after all.  Now she says she wants to move where her sister is, or to where she grew up.  Obviously, we know she isn’t capable of making logical decisions, but we also didn’t understand her constant desire to move.

Then I read in chapter 7 that constantly wanting to “go home” is really a symptom of their growing confusion.  Things stop being familiar, even a home they’ve lived in for years, and they long to go back to what is familiar.  Except, even if you take them to their childhood home, it’s no longer familiar.  It’s a continual searching for feelings of safety, comfort, familiarity that they can’t really reclaim.  So maybe she isn’t wanting to move because we made her go to the doctor after years of avoidance.  Maybe she isn’t wanting to move because she loves others more than us.  Maybe it really is just a symptom of her confusion.

When I read chapter 4, about when a person should stop driving or living alone, I felt total confirmation and peace about the fact that Steve’s Mom should not be living alone and that it was the right decision to remove her car, as well.  So many of the descriptions of someone who is too confused/impaired to live alone fit Steve’s Mom.  The Alzheimer’s Association told Steve we handled the car issue very well.  But how do we navigate the issue of assisted living equally well?  They said the therapeutic fib of the car breaking down was a good move on our part … yet they advise talking to her about moving into assisted living.  Talking about her need, which she can’t see, only makes her angry.  So what therapeutic fib can we use to help get her moved?  We haven’t yet figured that one out.

But we have to do something very soon.  Please, God, move in this situation.  Help us to understand her thought processes (confused as they are) so we can do what is best for her, without just trampling over her feelings.

One word of advice I do have … TALK!!  If anyone in your family has Alzheimer’s Disease, talk about it in the early stages.  Don’t sweep it under the rug.  Don’t worry that talking about it will embarrass them.  Talk about it.  Make plans.  WRITE them down and have the impaired person sign them.  Because later they will deny ever having said they wanted that.  Make a game plan.  (Although changed circumstances may mean needing to tweak the plan later.)

Our family didn’t.  We let Mom keep her secret, pretending we didn’t all know, not expecting that Steve’s Dad would die 3 years later, leaving her a widow with Alzheimer’s Disease.  By that time, her decisions were already impaired, but we still should have talked.  We still should have made plans, but no one wanted to upset her anymore than necessary since she was grieving, prone to holding grudges, and very stubborn.  It was the wrong choice.

Still trying to find the right path,
April E.

Title: Big Book of History: a 15 foot fold-out time-line from Creation to modern computers
Publisher: Master Books, New Leaf Publishing
Format: cardstock expanding book panels
Audience: 7 – 13 year old children
ISBN: 978-0-89051-632-4
Price: $16.99

I am a sucker for history books, and I love timelines.  Big Book of History is a unique expandable timeline, with a colorful format.  I received the panels-only cardstock version that doesn’t have a book-like cover.  It can still be viewed as a book, flipping pages, but I prefer laying it out on the living room floor with several panels open at once.  Each individual panel is 8.5 inches x 14 inches, and folds into a “book” that is almost an inch thick.  If fully extended, the timeline is fifteen feet long.

I have another expandable time-line, but this one is much more user-friendly.  Big Book of History isn’t as comprehensive as the other one I own, but that is actually a good thing.  It is easier to follow this timeline through history, and find what you’re looking for.  The colorful illustrations and photographs help bring history to life, and help you quickly find your location on the timeline itself.  This Big Book of History timeline is much more appealing to my children!  Every single one of them prefers it.

I love that there are small mini-charts of related events on some of the panels, and there are little rabbit trails that show the aftermath of certain events.  We’re currently studying the Reformation and Renaissance in history, and the Big Book of History includes a chart of the People and Events of the Reformation, as well as a mini-track that includes important world explorers.  These helpful tidbits of information can inspire further study and exploration. We will be using this timeline extensively in our homeschool.

A three-page preview of the Big Book of History is available as a PDF at MasterBooks website.  Take a moment and check out this colorful, illustrated timeline.

The Big Book of History expandable timeline panels are available for $16.99. Big Book of History has an accompanying Study Guide which can be downloaded FREE or bought in a printed form for $6.99.  If you don’t like the panels-only cardstock version of the book, it is also available in a hard-cover version for $19.99.

Big Book of History is a wonderful resource for classroom use, home use, or to satisfy the curiosity of a junior history buff.  I highly recommend it!

April E.

This timeline was provided free by Master Books, in order for me to review it.  I was not required to post a positive review, and these thoughts are my honest opinions.

FFH (Far From Home) has long been one of my favorite Christian music groups.  I have always enjoyed their unique pop sound and style.  I hadn’t realized they’d released a Christmas album in October, until I was offered the chance to review its downloaded version.

One Silent Night: An FFH Christmas is a wonderful collection of classic Christmas music and newly written music by the husband/wife team of Jeromy and Jennifer Diebler.  This album includes several of my favorite Christmas songs, as well as 4 original FFH songs.  I like that they bring their own style to the classics without totally changing the familiar songs.  They’re still my favorite songs, with an FFH flavor.

One Silent Night tracks:

1  Baby, It’s Cold Outside
2  Jingle Bell Rock
3  One Silent Night (original FFH song)
4  I’ll Be Home For Christmas
5  The Birthday of the King (original FFH song)
6  O Come, O Come Emmanuel
7  Winter Wonderland
8  Glorious Impossible (original FFH song)
9  O Little Town of Bethlehem
10  Heaven And Nature Sing (original FFH song)

It really is a beautiful album, perfect to play at family gatherings, and while setting up the Christmas tree.  Our family is pleased to add it to our Christmas collection! I have to admit that I think I prefer their excellent renditions of my old favorites more than the new Christmas songs, but their original song, Glorious Impossible, is really beautiful.  I love the message in its poetic lyrics.

You can follow FFH on facebook, or twitter.   If you’d like to add this CD to your  Christmas collection, too, you can purchase the One Silent Night album at itunes,  or Christianbook.com.

OR you can WIN the downloaded version of the album right HERE. FFH and Propeller are hosting the giveaway for one reader to win the digital version of the album.  The giveaway will close on Friday, November 18, 2011 at midnight.  I will draw a winner on November 19, 2011 and announce it.

What do you need to do to win?

MANDATORY – visit the FFH BIO Page and return here to leave me a comment telling me something new that you learned about FFH.

OPTIONAL ENTRIES – leave a comment here for each of the following entry options you take.

1. Tell me your favorite Christmas song.
2. Follow my blog via email or Google Friend Connect.
3. Like FFH on facebook.
4. Follow FFH on twitter.
5. Share this giveaway on facebook, twitter, or your blog (leave url please).  There are easy “share” buttons at the bottom of this post.

Thanks for entering!  I hope you win, and if you don’t, I hope you’ll buy One Silent Night.  It will put you in the Christmas mood.

April E.

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old…or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

and the book:

Mercy Come Morning

WaterBrook Press; Reprint edition (August 16, 2011)

ELCLOUD THOUGHTS:

I had sworn I wasn’t going to request any more adult fiction books right now.  And then I saw the description for this book and I knew I had to review it.  You see, my mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s Disease, and the main character of Mercy Come Morning is dealing with her mother’s impending death from Alzheimer’s Disease … at Christmas.

I loved this book!  I loved the heart of the story, as Krista sorts out her difficult and painful relationship with her mother, while preparing to say goodbye to her mother.  While I read the book, I told Steve that I was thankful that he didn’t have the additional pain of a bad relationship with his mother, as we face the progression of her disease.

Of course, there is some romance, as Krista must also reconcile her feelings for her long-time friend Dane, who runs the AMAZING Alzheimer’s Center where Krista’s Mom is staying.I have to admit I was jealous of the Alzheimer’s Center, and wished we had one right here in our hometown, as well.

Mercy Come Morning was extremely well-written.  It touched my heart, and made me thankful for the healthier relationship my husband and his Mom have.  Even if you don’t have a loved one with Alzheimer’s, I can guarantee you will enjoy this touching story.

April E.

***Special thanks to Laura Tucker of WaterBrook Press for sending me a review copy.***

LISA BERGREN is the best-selling, award-winning author of more than thirty books, with more than two million copies sold. A former publishing executive, she now splits her time working as a freelance editor and writer while parenting three children with her husband, Tim, and dreaming of the family’s next visit to Taos.

Visit the author’s website.

There are no second chances. Or are there?

Krista Mueller is in a good place. She’s got a successful career as a professor of history; she’s respected and well-liked; and she lives hundreds of miles from her hometown and the distant mother she could never please. It’s been more than a decade since Alzheimer’s disease first claimed Charlotte Mueller’s mind, but Krista has dutifully kept her mother in a first-class nursing home.

Now Charlotte is dying of heart failure and, surprised by her own emotions, Krista rushes to Taos, New Mexico, to sit at her estranged mother’s side as she slips away. Battling feelings of loss, abandonment, and relief, Krista is also unsettled by her proximity to Dane McConnell, director of the nursing home—and, once upon a time, her first love. Dane’s kind and gentle spirit—and a surprising discovery about her mother—make Krista wonder if she can at last close the distance between her and her mother … and open the part of her heart she thought was lost forever.

“A timeless tale, to be kept every day in the heart as a reminder
that forgiveness is a gift to self.”
—PATRICIA HICKMAN, author of The Pirate Queen

Product Details:

List Price: $13.99
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: WaterBrook Press; Reprint edition (August 16, 2011)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0307730107
ISBN-13: 978-0307730107

AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Excerpted from Mercy Come Morning by Lisa Tawn Bergren Copyright © 2011 by Lisa Tawn Bergren. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.