Faithful Families

For those of you interested in a new documentary about the public school system, check out www.indoctrinationmovie.com.  or go to the IndoctriNation Movie facebook page. I have been following the production of this documentary for over a year, and am anxiously awaiting its August release.

This documentary by Colin Gunn is full of testimonies from a wide variety of people both from within the public system and without, and promises to be an incredible encouragement for those parents who have chosen to homeschool to stay the course. It will also be a challenge for Christian parents whose children are in the public school system. It’s a message that needs to be heard!

The sequel to Bringing Them Home is now available! As for Me and My House brings the spiritual mentorship of our children to life through a fictional story which follows the Knight family in homeschooling through the teen years and courtship. It challenges parents to give their teens a strong biblical foundation, guiding them through many issues and enabling them to walk counter to their culture.

Just like my first book, which presented the Knights’ decision to pull their children from the public school and followed them through their first year of homeschooling, this story is extremely relevant to today’s parents and eternally significant for the next generation.

As for Me and My House, the sequel to Bringing Them Home, is now in print and should be released on Amazon and other online distributor sites soon. Following is the blurb from the back of the book. If you have questions about the story, feel free to ask.

As for Me and My House

by Elizabeth Wiens

When God leads a family to live counter to their culture, life is anything but typical.

Little did David and Cassy Knight realize where their decision to homeschool their four children would lead them. As they strive to discover God’s design for church and family, and to shield their growing children from a peer-focused, entertainment-driven youth culture, David and Cassy’s own preconceptions are challenged again and again. As they lead their teenagers through the battles of rock music, peer pressure, purity, and even face decisions regarding government diplomas and college, the pressure to compromise mounts.

Yet will they go so far as to pull their children out of the church youth group? Wouldn’t that be “un-Christian”? And what about dating, courtship, and marriage? David declares, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”  But what does that mean on a daily basis? The Knights are about to find out….

Dare to step outside the box. An intimate peek at one family’s homeschooling adventure.

Everywhere we go we are bombarded with messages on the importance of having high self-esteem and confidence in oneself. Schools place a lot of emphasis on this, Christian and non-Christian psychologists promote it, and our bookstores are full of books to help people feel better about themselves. But is this preoccupation with self supported by Scripture, or have we bought into man’s philosophies? When seeking to understand our position before God, we must separate the truth from the lies.

In order to understand the issue, we must first define self-esteem. According to Webster’s 1913 Online Dictionary, to esteem means “To set a high value on; to prize; to regard with reverence, respect, or friendship.” It follows then, that “self-esteem” involves elevating oneself to a position of high regard and reverence. In an endeavour to ease guilt, boost self-confidence and glorify self, our culture has bought whole-heartedly into this philosophy, making high self-esteem a core value to be sought after. There are those who may attempt to convince us that many issues in our society stem from a problem of low self-esteem, but I would argue that our society has mastered the art of self-indulgence and that we have become completely self-absorbed.

Well meaning Christians may rationalize that we have been created in God’s image, and that a high view of self is warranted. As a result, they buy into the world’s philosophy of self-esteem, causing confusion. However, the world’s focus has nothing whatsoever to do with God, and everything to do with confidence in self and a belief in man’s innate goodness. Few in our society are willing to admit that they are sinful beings deserving of God’s judgment. Instead, they seek to excuse sin and elevate themselves based on looks, wealth, fame, and accomplishments. With this frame of mind, it becomes very difficult to see the need for a Savior. And though it is true that we have been created in God’s image, our worth is found in who God is and what Christ did for us, not in ourselves. Let’s take a closer look and compare the world’s view of self with the truth of Scripture.

First of all, you will not find the words “self-esteem” in the Bible, or any principles telling us how to build a better self-image. What does the Bible say instead?

• Where man declares himself to be good – God declares us to be sinners: Mark 7:20-23, Jer. 17:5, 7, 9, Romans 3:23
• Where man judges by outward appearance – God judges the heart: I Peter 3:3,4, I Sam. 16: 6,7
• Where the world says our worth is in ourselves, apart from God – The Bible says our worth comes from God: Eph. 2:4-10
• Where the world says we are to think highly of ourselves – The Bible says we are not to think too highly of ourselves: Romans 12:3
• Where the world promotes self love – The Bible condemns the love and pursuit of self: II Tim. 3:1-4
• Where the world takes pride in personal accomplishments – The Bible says we can never measure up to God’s standard on our own, comparing our righteousness to filthy rags: Isaiah 64:6
• Where the world encourages us to commend ourselves – The Bible says we are not to commend ourselves or measure ourselves by our own standards: II Cor. 10:12-17

So does this mean that the Bible declares us to be worthless? Not at all. The Bible overwhelms us with assurance of God’s love for us. However, the significance of this revelation is not the idea that we are great, but the realization of how great God’s love is. He loved us when we were not worthy of His love. We must keep that fact in the proper perspective and remember that we were created to bring glory and honor to God. Though we are created in God’s image (Genesis 1:26), we are not gods and should not idolize ourselves. The fact that God loves us and cares for us (Matthew 6:25-34), should draw us to seek Him, not focus on our self-worth. Scripture states that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16), which should cause us to praise our Creator, not ourselves as the creation. And being accepted as God’s children (Ephesians 1:3-7), should humble us by His grace and mercy, for we did nothing to earn this.

So how do I find balance in the midst of these conflicting messages? When confronted with the world’s preoccupation with self, I must remember that it’s not about me. In my daily activities, I need to care more about what God thinks of me than what others think or my own self-fulfillment. This becomes easier if my focus in on bringing glory to Him rather than myself. When I read the Bible, I must question whether I am reading it to find what’s in it for me, or if I’m reading it to find out more about Him. Am I more concerned with how much God loves me, or how much I love God? These are humbling thoughts, but somehow I feel that when I humble myself and seek to keep my eyes on God, I am heading in the right direction.

What about socialization? I’d venture to say that most families who have been homeschooling for any length of time have heard this question not once, but many times. So why is socialization such a common concern of non-homeschoolers? I think it is because many of us have bought into deceptive thinking. We’ve allowed our society to convince us that the only way children can be properly socialized, is for them to be shut in a room full of peers their own age for extended periods of time. However, if this same standard was applied to adults, we would think it absurd. For we know that in real life, we are expected to be able to interact in a wide range settings and with people of all ages. Our sphere of influence may span from infants to the elderly. That’s true socialization.the process of learning to build healthy relationships and interact within all contexts of a society. So why do we attempt to segregate our children into groups according to age and call that socialization? As though children are incapable of building relationships outside of that setting?

In truth, it would be extremely difficult to keep children from interacting with those around them. So the question is not if children who homeschool are being socialized, but rather by whom are they being socialized? I think many homeschooling parents have come to see the value of mentoring their children within a family context, as well as surrounding them with godly role models. Not only does this build stronger families, but it gives children a biblical framework for learning proper behavior and relationship skills as they function within the community. It is a blessing for children to be able to gain wisdom from those older than themselves, something that is lost when children spend most of their day in the company of immature peers. It is equally important for young people to learn how to care for little ones, yet our society has not recognized the true value of these relationships and our families have become disjointed.

Another issue to consider is the quality of a child’s social environment. The home and community provide a much more ideal setting for group interaction than a classroom lined with desks. Not only is this more inviting and true to life, but the home and community provide an endless assortment of venues in which to socialize with others. This framework also gives parents the ability to weed out negative influences and minimize peer pressure, which many children battle daily in school. It is important for parents to maintain a position of authority and influence in their children’s lives, rather than allowing the values of peers to undermine the biblical standards they have established in the home. Scripture warns us, “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” (I Corinthians 15:33, NIV) It is nearly impossible for parents to monitor the many influences shaping their children’s values during the thousands of hours spent in school.

Finally, when we search the Scriptures, no where do we find the practice of age-segregating our families into peer groups. According to the Bible, fathers are to train their children, older women are to mentor younger women, and men who exhibit godly character are to lead the church as a whole. There is absolutely no precedent for nine-year-olds to learn relationship skills and Christ-like behavior from other nine-year-olds, let alone un-Christian nine-year-olds. God designed the family unit for a reason. It is within the context of family that children are to be trained and taught to develop proper relationships, which in turn allows them to serve and interact with those around them as God intended. Despite what our society would have us believe, this is still the biblical answer to the socialization question.