I borrowed this chart from Kate's blog . I knew after I read it that it was something I wanted to try on my husband.

So, after I tweaked it a bit to fit our situation, I had a meeting with Daddy L. He's not a very *detail oriented* person, so I just started with the main question.

What are your priorities? Rank in order from 1-4...1 being the most important.

__Schooling the Children

__Clean, organized house...with ALL laundry done

__Meals (good, cooked meals, prepared on time)

__Wife to be showered and *dressed*

What I really wanted from him was the truth. I didn't want him to tell me what he thought would be the best answers, or to base his answers on my failing ability to follow through. I just wanted him to tell me, in all honesty, how he really felt...what was really important and most pleasing to him.

I thought I knew, and when he first answered me I could tell it was the answer that *sounds* best. So I pushed a little...I reworded things. He said school was most important so I said, "OK, so if I have school done and the rest of the stuff falls away then that's ok with you? School done is THE most important thing...top of the list?"

As I continued questioning him his answers began to change. Exactly what I had hoped...he was really thinking about how he really feels.

In the end he really prefers....

1)his wife showered and dressed (though we have NOT discussed the specifics of this yet I do have an idea as to what he really wants. I did not want to push him further that night and aggravate him)

2) the house clean and the laundry done and put away (I had initially listed these as two seperate things because I felt that they really are not *one* thing. He insists that they are, so I made them one)

3)school done...self explanatory

4) well planned and well cooked meals at the family table

I knew that my being *fixed up* would rank highest. That's very important to him and I have disregarded it for years. I've become very lazy about my appearance when I am at home, and that has not been pleasing to my husband. At different times I have started to change, but of course, being that I am the kind that doesn't follow through on a  lot of things, it was never a permanent or even long lasting change.

I really thought that meals would be 2nd on his list because he loves to eat, and he doesn't like it if I don't know what we are going to be eating. Evidently the house being clean is more important to him than he has ever mentioned...and specifically our room. He even said, "our bedroom has never been clean consistently since we have been married..." He'd never really commented on it before...

Knowing that my husband is not one to complain, sometimes it is hard for me to hear him tell me the truth. As I have mentioned before, he is the type that would be really easy to take advantage of. This excercise was good for us, it put him in a position to think about how he feels and be honest without really criticizing.