I hope I have not given the impression that my husband is *making me* do these things.  He really isn't making me do anything. I wanted to ask him these questions because it is my desire to not just *satisfy* him but to actually *please* him...and I feel that those two can sometimes be on opposite ends of the stick. At least I know that in our marriage they definitely are.

Being that my husband is so easy to please, he just accepts my shortcomings without comment...or complaint. I really don't think that this has been good for me. NO, I do not want a husband who is always complaining, but I think it's beneficial for our husbands to share with us what they feel we are doing wrong and maybe suggestions to change. Sometimes they see things that we don't, and sometimes they see the things that we don't want to admit...

I am admittedly a very lazy person...I'm not just saying that so someone will tell me I couldn't be because of all I do, I am seriously lazy, always late, and always put things off to the last minute.

My idea of being dressed before was being in sweats or some kind of pull on pant, a ratty tee, maybe running the brush through my hair (maybe not), and making sure my teeth were brushed. Cleanliness had nothing to do with it...I was clean, but I was just very sloppy. This was not *really* pleasing to my husband. Plus I always felt like I was ready for bed...just as with Flylady's shoe rule, when I am dressed I feel like I am ready to work.

My husband prefers that I at least look *neat*...he was satisfied with the way I was before, it was *neat enough*. He prefers me to fix my hair, and have on makeup, and to dress a little less sloppy. I want to please him, so even though he has already told me that I don't have to do this, I am choosing to do it because I want him to be pleased with me.

I am not showered and dressed before he leaves for work. I get up at 5am, get him up at 5:30am, and he leaves at 6am...I shower and dress shortly after that. I am doing that for myself. I know *me*, and if I say "I'll do it this afternoon"...well...I won't. So it's best if I get it done before my children get up and need my attention.

Also, in my particular situation, and being the mom of older children, I have no real reason that I cannot get up early...and I have seen the benefit of it, so this is what I am choosing to do for myself and my family.

As for the housework, everyone's idea of clean and organized is going to look different. I'm quite sure that my house is not as clean as some...but it suits my husband. He has given me a few specifics that seem to *bug* him more than others. Those are the things that I make sure are done above all else. He really isn't hard to please.

With my children being older, and being able to take care of themselves mostly, there really isn't a reason for our home to be a disaster. If I stay on top of it, make sure it is done daily, and make my children help as they should, then it stays clean...or clean enough.

Right now we spend about 30minutes each morning and each afternoon on housework and we clean up after our meals. That pretty much keeps it clean.

There was a period of time when I was taking PapL (my FIL) to radiation/chemotherapy, and I was gone between 6-8 hours a day 3-4 days a week...then he was in the hospital for over a month, 2hrs from home...and there was no way it could stay clean and school could be done. I'm not even sure how we managed during that time..it's all a blur really. There are going to be times in our lives like that, when we cannot *just do it*...but if we do spend our time wisely when we are able then I think those times might not be so hard to recover from.

I'm sorry that got so long....