I have a chunk of money, from our income tax refund, to spend for school books/supplies for next year. I'll be able to buy things as needed throughout the year, but this is the BIG chunk to buy the more expensive things and the bulk of our material. I've spent the last couple of weeks trying to make some decisions.

I'm having a hard time deciding what we *need* (not just want), though I am thankful that we now have a few things that we really like and are not going to change. We've (I've) been so wishy washy with our curriculum in the past. It feels good to be able to say "yeah, we are going to use that AGAIN next year" sometimes.

Everything is so tempting, but I need to be realistic. We now have a farm, and that means lots of work. Lander is home a lot now, that means that there will probably not be time for lots of extras. They are going to be learning lots of things while working with their dad. Some new things..and some not, but taken to a new, higher level. Those things are important. They are REAL things that will be useful to life. Still, as Lander and I agree on, certain things need to be covered in a *schoolish* manner.

I have seen over the last year that my children learn more through real books than they do textbooks...and given the option of "covering history quickly to be done with it" or taking lots of time reading living books, my oldest quickly said that he would rather take the time to read the *good books*.

My lazy side wants to just use something where we could *check off the boxes* and be done for the day. It's easier to keep up with, and easier to let them do alone. In my heart I know that I don't want them to do everything alone though. I love the interaction that I have with my children now, and that they have with each other. The older one is studying a different time period in history than the other two...but they share what they have learned each day with each other. Today they went out to play *Civil War*...and in the past they have played *Joseph*. I don't want that to stop happening. They never did that when we were using the *workbooks* from a certain curriculum.

I don't want them to have nothing to discuss with me at the end of their school day because it was all so boring that they don't feel it merits discussion...or repeating even. I may not remember all that they tell me, but I do try to act interested. LOL I want them to continue to be fascinated by things they *never knew before*. I don't want school to be a bunch of blanks waiting for an answer that is written on the page before.

Having school this way takes more time (for me/from me). I can't just work for x-amount of hours and know that we are done because we've checked off all the boxes. So I'm wondering how it will work out next year when life is busier. It really doesn't seem to take us that long now (in the actual doing of it)...but we haven't added all the extra farm work yet either.

I'm just going to continue to pray. As I've typed out this entry I have realized just how passionately I feel that we are on the right track (though we have definitely not arrived). I really think the problem with the way we are doing things is *me*. I've not been setting any guidelines for us. I have a plan in my mind, I follow it sometimes, but it falls to the wayside often. I'm motivated and inspired by others...but not diligent in doing. I'm not diligent in seeing that things are done...daily. I'm too quick to say "let's just do XXX today since (plug in any excuse for slacking)." I think we could accomplish more...not just more as in *amount*, but more as in *retention and content*.

Off to give this some more thought...