Oct. 12, 2008 - Adoption Seminar
Yesterday was a great day! My Hero and I were not looking forward to having to drop everything and go to the adoption seminar that was required for us to be able to continue with the adoption. We have been especially dreading it since my Hero got his deployment orders.
The trip started out badly. The hotel I had booked for us for Friday night had been switched to one in another town (30 min in the direction from which we had just traveled). The night in the hotel room was not good either. Our neighbor came into his room around 2 am and called someone- we could hear the loud conversation in our room. Then despite the fact that all the rooms were "non-smoking", someone next to us was definitely smoking shortly after the loud phone conversation. Of course after all that we heard every noise around us (toilets flushing, snoring, etc.) for the rest of the night.
When we woke up on Saturday, neither of us was planning for the day to go any better than our night had just gone. We were sorely mistaken. Praise the LORD!
Yesterday was great! It was not at all what we had expected. We are adopting through the African American Infant Adoption program. Part of the seminar was on hair and skin issues for our baby. Another part was gaining perspective from a birthmother who had chosen to give her baby to another family to raise. We also went through legal issues and so much more.
It was fun to get out of the house and focus completely on something other than the looming deployment for a while. It was great to be able to express some of our fears about the adoption and hear from other couples who were feeling the same way. It was wonderful to get a more clear understanding of how this adoption works from the legal perspective. The information we got from the class on hair and skin issues was amazing and so valuable.
I didn't think it was possible to get any more excited about this adoption than I already was. This seminar, that we initially felt dragged into, was great and fueled the fire of our passion and excitement for our newest family member. Now if only we didn't still have to WAIT an unknown amount of time.
I guess I need to practice patience and remember that the baby God has picked out to join our family is most definitely worth the wait!
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Sep. 23, 2008 - A household under orders
My children and I are lounging around the house today. We are picking up and cleaning, from a long weekend at the coast, a little here and there. But mostly we are all tired after our vacation.
It wasn't really the vacation that wore us out, as much as the news that we received on our way out the door on Friday afternoon. My dear husband is being deployed to war.
This is only the second deployment in 4 yrs, so we are very ready for it...on paper. Being emotionally ready to receive those orders is a totally different thing. 
At least we have more warning than last time. Last time we had three days, this time we get six weeks.
The question all of our family keeps asking me is, "How do you feel about all this?" That is a very difficult question to answer. I feel a whole lot of different emotions all at once. I am excited for my "warrior" husband to get to do what God made him to do. I am upset and sad about the thought of months and months without him. I am thankful for the blessing of our family and their willingness to help and encourage us. I am also thankful that our kids are out of diapers (unlike last time when they were all in diapers ), until our adopted baby joins our family. I am apprehensive about finishing the adoption process by myself...I am tired from feeling all these things and so much more.
Mostly, I am thankful that no matter how I feel, God is in control of all things, including war and those who stay home and pine.
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Sep. 1, 2008 - Yesterday
I like blogging; the reflection that goes on when I write about what has transpired often feels therapeutic.
Yesterday was a busy day which started out with teaching Sunday School. Then many of our extended family members arrived at our church to watch our oldest son, Prince Valiant, get baptized. What a special and blessed day! It brought tears to my eyes to watch my son turn his personal experience of faith into a public expression of that faith and commitment.
The day was not over yet. Yesterday was also my son's birthday. So after going out to a big lunch with our family, we had about an hour to clean the house (you know how the house can get in the get- out- the-door- to -church rush ), and frost cupcakes for the birthday party. Birthday parties around here mostly just consist of extended family and a friend or two with their families. We had 23 people at our house to celebrate Prince Valiant on his birthday!
Still, the day was not over. As everyone left our house we scrambled to clean up a little, and I had some school assignments due that I needed to put the finishing touches on before we could head off to evening church. Our evening service was not the usual service yesterday. Every time there is a fifth Sunday in the month all the churches in the surrounding areas of the same association get together for “Fifth Sunday Sing”. I LOVE fifth Sunday Sing. We get to see people we've known for years, but don't get to see often enough, and it's a tremendous time of praise, prayer, and joy.
After the Fifth Sunday Sing there was an ice cream feast at the hosting church, which the kids loved (and come to think of it I never did make dinner last night, so no wonder they were so ready for an ice cream feast). There was plenty of fellowship after the service last night. My mother-in-law had stayed after the birthday party to travel with us to the Fifth Sunday Sing; we got home at about 9:00 pm and we were all exhausted. We convinced mom to stay the night with us rather than travel the 30 minutes to her home. We then stayed up for a couple of hours just talking together; it was very relaxing after such a busy day.
The day was finally over. As I look back on yesterday and all that transpired, I realize that though Prince Valiant's birthday did not go as I had originally planned (it was much busier), I believe he had a good day and it will be a very special day for him to remember. Praise the Lord for days such as this one, where not much goes as planned, but everything turns out “right”, just as God had it planned all along. 
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Aug. 25, 2008 - Adoption Update II
We finished our homestudy for the adoption today! The social worker assigned to our family will hopefully have her report typed and in to the adoption agency by the end of the week. The next step for us is to put together a portfolio of our family to present to birth mothers. After that, we wait to be chosen by a birth mother. That may be the hardest part of the process, but we are praying for patience as we await our newest family member. 
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Aug. 21, 2008 - Just slow down
Sometimes I feel that way with life. Isn't life only suppose to move at the speed I'm comfortable with? Lately, life feels like it's moving along at breakneck speed. It's hard to take a step back and breath for a moment. Why can't I just slow down and concentrate on what I know needs to get done? I guess lately, I've been pulled away from the important to take care of urgent things. When that happens I feel like what our dog looks like when he is chasing his own tail.
I need to get better at weighing every decision with prayer and patience. I have been doing great at starting my day out with prayer and Bible Study- time alone with God. I need more practice at living moment by moment withing God's will.
I think I should let some of the little urgent things go- cleaning up the mud the kids and the dog just tracked through the kitchen- so that I can accomplish the important- taking that time to train the kids in God's Word on being motivated by love for others.
What often seems pressingly urgent at the moment, really isn't. If I look only at the problem before me, there is no way around it and it must be dealt with right away. However, when I see a problem before me and then look to God in prayer for His take on the situation... it either isn't so big and pressing, or He has a much better and quicker way of taking care of it.
What I'm trying to say is that I need to intentionally practice living with God's eternal perspective in every area of life. He can see the big picture, I see a micro-fraction of it... "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding," Proverbs 3:5. Just slow down and trust God!
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Aug. 12, 2008 - The Man Without the Military?
When my husband told me that he was thinking of getting out of the military- for a little while- I was shocked! He's been in the reserves for almost 10 yrs and he has been working toward becoming a full-time military Chaplain.
The shock was not only from his news, but also from my own response to his news. I wasn't always supportive of his being in the military. In fact, when he first decided he should join the reserves (three months after we were married), I was quite upset. Being newlyweds, I didn't know how I should let him know how much I didn't want him to join... so, I prayed about it (kind of). Rather than praying that God would show us His will in the matter, I basically spent the next month telling God how he could stop my husband from making such a foolish mistake. Not surprisingly, God did a lot of work on my heart at that point, about the way I was approaching Him in prayer, about the plans that He has for our family, and about submitting whole-heartedly to my husband's leadership.
I spent the first 5 yrs, learning to deal with our new adjustment to life (these first 5 yrs also included 3 children, and a deployment). These last few years have been less of an adjustment and more of a time of becoming content with where we are, where we are headed, and the sacrifices necessary to get there.
For the last 3 1/2 years my husband has been working a full-time civilian job (working with the local mentally ill population- very stressful), going to school (distance learning through Liberty University), involved in our local church as Education director, and working with the reserves (which requires at least one weekend a month and any training that they desire to send him to- he was gone for most of three months this spring, making his civilian employer pretty unhappy). His desire to get out of the reserves at the end of this enlistment is for the purpose of being able to step back and focus more on his schooling and church involvement in order to fulfill the requirements for Chaplaincy. Of course, scaling back somewhere in his schedule will hopefully help him to spend more time with our family through this process of reaching his goal.
My reaction was different than I ever thought it would be. It's still hard for me to grasp the idea of my husband for any length of time not being a soldier. This has become who he is, even though he is a part- time soldier at the moment. So my initial reaction was shock, fear, doubt, and stubbornness. Now that I think about it though, this may be the best way, even if it doesn't seem like it at first. God has shown us over and over that His ways are not our ways. His way is often something we would never have thought of on our own, or opposite of the way we planned on going. Stepping back from the reserves at this point may also provide my dear husband with a different perspective as he looks toward a life in full-time military service; those two worlds are vastly different.
So, as you can see I am still working on trusting God with His plans for our family and submitting to my husband's leadership decisions. At least this time it didn't take me a month of pride and a chastisement from our Maker to come around... that's improvement, isn't it?
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Aug. 11, 2008 - Adoption Update
We have just received an update from our adoption agency. We were told that our fingerprint reviews would take 8-10 weeks to come back, but they only took 2 weeks!! Our homestudy can now begin, as we prepare our family's portfolio to present to prospective birth mothers. We are one step closer to our new family member(s). I am so excited! Our children are now bouncing around the house singing at the top of their lungs in excitement. God is so good! He alone knows how we are going to pay for the rest of this adoption, but He's gotten us this far. I believe He will provide the rest of the way, too. I can't wait to see Him work it out.
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him... Do not fret—it only causes harm. Psalm 37: 7a, 8b
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Aug. 6, 2008 - God is Good
Today was another good day... though I was a little distracted. Well, maybe a little more than distracted. I was terrified of the dentist today! I was to have a crown taken off today. This crown was supposed to have been a temporary- just through childhood... long story short, 20 yrs later it was finally removed this afternoon. The dentist had not been sure of what would be under this "temporary" crown which was too big for my tooth. So the morning went very smoothly considering my mind was preoccupied with trying not to be overcome by fear.
Praise the LORD! He not only helped us through our homeschooling day, but He made my visit to the dentist not so bad. The temporary crown was removed, and revealed a tooth that didn't need a root canal! God has been so good to me! Not only did this news brighten my day and make the visit to the dentist actually enjoyable, it saved us some money too.
I need to have record of when things like this happen, when God blesses me and blows me away with the depth of His grace and mercy. He is so patient and loving; I am so feeble and fearful. I praise Him for His faithfulness!
