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The devotional reading below is from Elisabeth Elliot and it came in my email box tonight. It reminded me that we had become complacent in this area. We have read through and implemented most of the great ideas in Greg Harris' Uncommon Courtesy when our older children were young, but as the children have grown and the younger boys became old enough to learn we slackened off quite a bit; life just seemed too busy to get to everything we wanted to. It seems a long time ago now that we had the boys stand by their chairs to wait until all of the girls were seated at the dinner table. Now they must wait and eat (the girls often dish up the plates at the bench and then bring them over to the table after John prays the blessing) until all of the girls are sitting. But what a lovely idea to actually help one of their sisters or mother into her chair. Another way we try and remind the boys to act like little gentlemen is to wait and let a girl walk in front of them to a door or out of a car; they even hold it open for them (if they remember) Carrying shopping or washing off the line for their sisters or mother is also gentlemenlike behaviour worth encouraging. But my favourite would have to be the little men picking flowers for their mummy. I love to receive these simple offerings.
Common Courtesy Talking with a group of seminary students I mentioned that the common rules of courtesy are often overlooked nowadays, especially by those who grew up in the past two decades, an era in which all conventions and traditions were suspect. "Mere convention" came to mean "pure hypocrisy." If a thing was labeled "traditional", it had to be discarded as no longer "relevant," "meaningful," or even intelligent. If a man had the temerity to hold a door open for a woman, he was sometimes labeled "sexist." My point in bringing up the subject of courtesy was simply that it is a small way of demonstrating that deep principle, central to our Christian faith, of "my life for yours." I asked if any of the husbands in the room made a habit of helping their wives into their chairs at the table, even when company was not present. A week later one of the men stopped me in the seminary hall. "I just want to tell you that my behavior toward my wife has been altered since last week's lecture. And you know what! It's changed my attitude toward her as well as hers toward me. It's really been revelatory! Just wanted to say thanks." I was immensely cheered. It's always cheering to know somebody has had ears to hear, and has actually done something about what he's heard.
The above advice from Mrs Elliot applies whether we are male or female. Each new day will bring with it an opportunity to put these words of wisdom into practice.
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