I don’t know what it is about being heavily pregnant and feeling overwhelmed – hormones I guess. It couldn’t have anything to do with the lifestyle I lead – homeschooling, lots of children, living on a farm, lots of pets. I like to think I can manage almost anything (though I am fast changing my thoughts on that one). Simple and slow is my motto right now.

Some days I think we don’t get enough done in the homeschool department. Especially after talking to someone whose children do rocket science at age ten. My ten year old struggles with math so much (math workbooks mainly) that I have decided during the last weeks of pregnancy, I am not going to push math at all. I would rather have a peaceful home than a stressful one. You know the verse, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” This is such a comfort to me. Sometimes I am so caught up in our culture and someone else’s standard of what and when my child should know something, that I forget what is important. If my children see me stressing over minor things like a school subject, rather than God’s standards for our lives, then I fear I am training in the wrong direction.

When everything is normal and I am in my right mind, the above problems don’t seem so big. Right now though, most issues are easily blown out of proportion.

The baby’s birth day is only a matter of weeks away, and so far, I am not panicking. I can’t say I won’t panic as the time draws nearer. I don’t know. This is now our second pregnancy after loss and I have managed a lot better than I did with the first subsequent pregnancy. The hospital has helped by not requiring me to give birth in the Delivery Suite. I can actually go to the Birth Centre. I haven’t had to see an obstetrician this time either. I love obstetricians, when you need them. But they have a way of making you feel that anything that can go wrong will go wrong - not conducive to a peaceful frame of mind.

So right now in my peaceful frame of mind, I look forward to the weeks flying by and I can hold a precious bundle in my arms. Before our baby died in 2004, I always thought of pregnancy as straight forward. Pregnancy equals live baby. Now, I am not so presumptuous. The possibility that something could go wrong is at the back of my mind. My prayers in the past have consisted of a plea for strength to get through labour and birth. My prayers now are for a live, healthy baby.

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Posted by Anonymous

We echo your prayers! And we hope that the next few weeks remain quiet and peaceful. That due date is coming around so fast! Love Cath

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