My husband and I had a great afternoon date today. We had been wanting to see the movie, Fireproof...it was really a great movie! There was not a dry eye in the theater. I really enjoyed it so much...I am so glad we were able to go. We just hung out for the rest of the afternoon at the park, exercised, and talked. It was a great day! I am so glad God changed our hearts and our marriage and has blessed our marriage. Even though we still struggle at times, God has held our marriage together and has caused it to develop and grow in ways I never thought possible...This movie had a lot of great points (I love the reminder that marriage is covenant not a contract and you can not always rely on your feelings, and the notion of what true love is... and many more) and I would recommend this movie to any engaged or married couple or even young adults...maybe highschoolish age. I am so thankful to see a movie like this playing at the theater. I hope they continue producing movies such as this.
A few months ago I participated in the 30 day encouragement for wives (www.reviveourhearts.com/pdf/30DayChallenge.pdf ). Now, I can't wait to get started on the Love Dare... I think it would be so beneficial even if your marriage is not at the brink of disaster!
I haven't blogged in a while about my 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge:
This is the challenge:
"You can't say anything negative about your husband....to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband. "Each day, say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband."
As I am reflecting back over the last 30 days and preparing for another 30 days... I am looking at the most difficult days
...Day 9... "...be swift to hear, slow to speak..." James 1:19b.
Sometimes I get so wrapped in what I am doing I just comment - negatively or positively - without even thinking. I really need to listen and to "hear" my husband's heart. I pray that I will hear the Lord's admonition: "Be swift to hear."
....Day Twenty-one: "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33. Am I remembering that everything I think, do and say should be seen from an eternal perspective? Someday I will give an account for my failure to speak words of love and encouragment.
Day twelve: "With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love." Eph 4:2
Do I sometimes get disillusioned because of my own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12)? I must remember that my expectations must be met in God alone and then I will have the right perspective to ask God for the grace I need to respond to others.
Mostly through this challenge, I have remembered and reaffirmed how wonderful my husband is! He is a servant to our family, he is considerate of my needs and the needs of the whole family, he is a very hard worker, he is diligent and resourceful, he is faithful and loyal, he is handsome and strong, kind and compassionate, he has great integrity, he is respectable, he is attractive, he is honest, he communicates with me, he has a vision for our home, he is walking with God, he has a playful side and a good sense of humor, he is unique, he has an eternal perspective on life, he is persistent and organized, he is leader in our home and a wonderful father, he shows our children love and encourages them, he spends time with them everyday, he takes an interests in their activities and takes a part in developing their character, he turns his back to wickedness and he is my best friend.
Now looking over a list like this....how could I say discouraging words.
I am continuing on with my 30-day challenge! Wow! This has been convicting. I am going to do it again when my 30 days are up! I think I am being semi-successful and my husband really LOVES it!!!!!!! Actually, I guess at times I am being so out of "character" my husband ask me if this is some kind of "program" I am following! My husband loves it so much that is just encouraging me right back! Its funny how these things are so reciprocal,
Anyway, in my challenge I have been trying to meditate on the LOVE chapter in the Bible ... 1 Corinthinans 13. I have been... as I always am... really convicted when I read and mediate on these verse ... especially in the beginning verses where I realize I can DO all these wonderful things but if I DO NOT have love then its just all meaningless! I am talking about real, true, unconditional love that God speaks of in His word and that only God can give. So...first, I have to ask God everyday to please instill this type of love in me for my husband and my kids. I have to pray everyday for Him to "create in me a clean heart, Oh God". I often begin my prayers with Psalm 51: 9-12 or even the whole chapter sometimes. I have said before that I really love to pray back scriptures.
So when I am looking over the list that I copied down from the chapter... I have to ask me self ...
Am I patient?...is what am saying and doing to my husband filled with patience....oh dear... I fall down here when I ask him to please do something and he doesn't do and then I remind him of it... and then I ask him AGAIN! He knows it has to be done...he doesn't forget and he does not need to be reminded...this is where the dreaded term '"Nagging" comes in. One thing I am trying to do here is ask myself first ...Can I do it?.. There are some jobs that I consider "man jobs" just because of how I was reared? ... I don't know.. but there are some things I ask of him that really I could just do myself and then I wouldn't have to re-ask or think about it anymore. If I can't do it myself or really need him to do it I am going to write it in his dayrunner and then I would know for sure that he didn't forget and I wouldn't have to mention that anymore...and then I am going to try and be patient.
Okay, are my words kind? I can use speech with a sarcarstic or mean tone. I think God is really helping me here.. but it can creep up...especially if I am feeling tired or sick. (which is no excuse).
How about do I show envy or boastfullness or arrogance (pride) with my husband. Not really envy but sometimes I can have a prideful or boastful attitude with my husband...especially when I think I could have done something better
Am I rude? Well, I can be rude at times. Sometimes without even knowing it as evidenced by the comment ... "that was rude" and I am just setting there like "what?" it just a FACT! I think I am getting better at this and I am just thinking to myself...if I say this will it seem rude to my husband. And if so, how can I restate this where it is more kind and loving.
Do I insist on my own way....oh my... this has always been a hard one for me... I really want and desire to submit to my husband...our marriage and life is so much more fufulling when I do that...because I am following with God's will ... but that old sin nature gets a hold of me at times with this one. One thing I have done with this is realize is even if I still think "I am right" and I want done my way....there are others ways it can be done...and in the grand scheme of things it absolutely does not matter.....and when I do this I remind myself I am obeying God when I do this... I am following along with God's will for my life when I am in obdience to Him...so its really irrevelant on how I "feel" or what I "want". I have to remind myself it is what I "know' and I have to stay in the word and meditate on God's word to KNOW what he wants me to do... yes it's a life long process...that's why one of favorite verses is Hebrews 12:2 ... I am running a race and trying to run it with endurance...slow and steady...until I meet Jesus... The day my beloved Grandmother died...that morning when I was in the hospital room with her I was holding her hand...we had a long night and she knew the end was close...I had been reading her favorite passage in the Bible .. and she was still ministering to ME...on her death bed... she was amazing calm (she was in resp failure and not sedated) and she said ... "Claudia, don't cry...don't be sad...(in the past we had actually had long discussions of how I would handle her death and how I would "live" without her)....she said... I have lived my whole to get to this day.... the day I will meet my Saviour, the day I will meet Jesus...face to face...she was so calm and peaceful...and so serious and happy...and later on that day she did...she died and then she met Jesus...and began her new life... and one day I will too...and I want to look back at my life... and be able to say .... I have lived my whole life to get to this day... the day I meet with Jesus! (I got off subject here but just had to add that in!)
Am I resentful? I am fairly good on this one...I rarely hold grudges or carry around a lot of baggage...so thank you, God!
Do I rejoice in the wrongdoing of my husband. No, I do not like to see my husband fail. I am behind him 100 percent and want to see him succeed in all aspects of his life. Now, there are times when I have a "I told you so... type attitude or even actually verbalize..." so I am trying to work on that aspect...but I do not like to see him fail at anything or make wrong choices.
Do I bear all things? I think so ... he knows that he can ALWAYS count on me... that I would never just give up and leave...that I am on his side. There are times when I feel like I can't bear things but I give the load or the burden to God and He tells me in His word that HIS yoke is easy and...HIS burden is light..(Matthew 11: 28-30 and so I claim that promise...and go on.
Do I believe and hope all things... I think this as above... as well as endures all things....and love never ends...
Well, I think in the whole picture of things... I am doing okay through the grace and mercy of God... but its those little everyday things patience, kindness, rudeness, arrogance, insistence on my own way, irritablity...that have to be dealt with on a day by day basis.
Please check this video out...you can even download it as a screen saver:
Top Thirty Reasons I Love My Husband (in random order)
1. He loves God.
2. He says he is sorry when he is wrong.
3. He has a funny sense of humor.
4. He says he loves me all the time.
5. He says he I look just like I did when we got married (21 years ago!)
6. He is faithful.
7. He can tell when I am about to wig out and talks to me a calm voice.
8. He is creative.
9. He is honest.
10. He always takes the girls to church even when I can't go.
11. He is strong.
12. He reads to the girls when he puts them to bed everynight.
13. He brings me lunch in bed if I have worked the night before.
14. He charges my cell phone.
15. He helps me find my papers when I lose them.
16. He is my best friend
17. He tells me he likes to be with me.
18. He helps me with homeschool.
19. He can run a business and stay amazingly organized.
20. He talks to me.
21. He says he is glad I am his wife.
22. He prays for me and our family.
23. He reads the Bible.
24. He reads great books.
25. He kisses me on the cheek even when I say I am busy.
26. He asks me out on dates to the places I like to go.
27. He tells the girls that I am his number one priority under God.
28. He helps me gather all my stuff together and get out the door on busy mornings.
29. He fills my car up with gas.
30. He brings me flowers for no special reason.
I have been reflecting on all the good characteristics of my husband this week and reasons why I love him!
I was going to write a top ten list and it turned into a top 30 really fast!
One time a wrote about 500 things my dad had done for me over my life...and made into a large wall hanging. At the top it had Thank You...For and then it just listed tons of things in random order...It was things like...loving mom, sending me to camp, always having groceries in the house, taking me to the Dr. and the Dentist, teaching me to love God, teaching me to love nature, teaching me to be observant etc...
Now I am working on a "Thank You" list for my husband...
I had put this slide show together for Father's Day for my husband but had trouble getting it into my post. One of my new blogger friends just showed me how and it took about 2 seconds! Thank you! Thank you!
My husband is wonderful with our girls! He spends a lot of time with them...talking, reading, playing, praying, training, taking places, teaching,....hanging out!
I am continuing on with my 30 day Encouragment for my husband! I really am working on praising my husband this week. I think all these things in my head but I often do not verbalize my thoughts about him to him or to others! Finally, after many years.....I realize he is not a mind reader and I need to tell him these things and build him up and encourage him and tell all the wonderful things that he DOES do and not what he DOES not do............
Today is Day 6 on my 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge
I have asked for forgiveness from my husband for not being encourgaing lately and for having a negative attitude. I told him how glad I was that he picked me 21 years ago out of the millions of women in the world to marry...he chose me! I told him that I wanted to be sure that his heart could safely trust in me and would do him good not evil al the days of my life. (Pr 31:11-12) I have been purposefully holding (biting?) my tounge when I know what I am going to say is not going to be encouraging or uplifiting. That can be very hard. (James 1: 26... If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.) A lot of times of times we just say things we don't really mean for whatever reason and so that is why I like this challenge...where you really are determining to watch your words.
I have been meditating on this verse for the past couple of days:
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph 4:29 and so my prayer is.. Oh lord...let no corrupt word or talk come out of MY mouth today, only let words come out of MY mouth that will build up and uplift and extend grace to my husband when I am talking to him. (I love to pray back scripture)
The word edify means to build up...I have to constantly ask myself is what I am about to say going to build my husband up or tear him down?
Negative comments only discourage and tear down whereas, positive cmments encourage and build.
I really respect my husband and support him and am so glad that he is the head of our family! I thank him for everything he does for me!
We have a lot of fun together! Here we are wondering around Disney in the rain in front of Its A Small World...My husband is my best friend!
Today I am going to start the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives. This was written By Nancy Leigh DeMoss and published by Revive Our Hearts ...
This year has been an unusually tough year for our family. My husband lost his business of 15 years during the "Real Estate Bust". He had been wanting to change careers for a while now and has always wanted a gym/sports training/wellness type company. Sports type training is his passion. We decided since he was basically being forced out of the real estate business that this was a good time to make the change. I am a RN and have been working this year (part time) as he builds up his new business. I have a great schedule...I schedule myself whenever I want to work...the day I want to work. The only problem is it is 12 hour night shifts and I am stay at home homeschooling mom!
He works very hard and has always been a good provider for our family. God is really working our lives right now in a lot of areas ... one being total dependence on Him. I have been feeling a little resentful and negative lately...and just at the worse time.. I know my husband is needing my confidence right now more than anything and some days I am really struggling with that.
So...today.. Day One... "The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31 11-12.
I want my husband to know that he can trust me to always be in his "corner"...and that he can find confidence in my love...for him...
Its amazing that even after 21 years of marriage these issuse still creep up! We met when I was in highschool and he was in college. This Billy Joel song was "our song" so I am going to play it for a little while for sentimental reasons!
My husband loves it so much that is just encouraging me right back! Its funny how these things are so reciprocal,
!
