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Jul. 22, 2008 - Overcoming Shyness the Humanistic Way
I have been getting Dr. Mercola's newsletter for a while. Sometimes it is weird. And the comments can be even weirder. Today, he had an article on how to overcome shyness. The ideas he had weren't bad, but this one comment... ugh!
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Jul. 19, 2008 - Buddy Davis
Buddy Davis is a dinosaur sculptor, singer, songwriter and speaker for Creation Science and works with Answers in Genesis. The Creation Museum has several of his dinos on display, and he has several CD's with great messages in music, for adults and children. He lives in a cabin that is over 100 years old in the town of Henpeck, OH with his wife Kay. (yes, Ken Ham likes to tease him about that!). He told us his testimony Friday night and it was really neat. The short version is that he almost had a recording contract in Nashville many years ago, it fell through and he started sculpting dino's. Met Ken Ham at a conference, nearly 30 years ago (I think) and invited him home to see his work. Ken came and the rest is history. He has travelled the world singing his music now, and loves what he does.
Why am I telling you about him? Because if you have children, you need to "meet" Buddy Davis. They can learn all about creation science by singing his upbeat songs, like "It's Designed to do What it Does Do" and "The 7 C's of History"And fun, songs about Bible stories, like "Here Kitty, Kitty" and Sampson's Ticked" (in the style of Johnny Cash). He also plays an assortment of instruments, including the mountain dulcimer. And is just an overall neat guy!
Sweet Cheeks loves the "here, kitty, kitty" song. (That's not the name of it, it's title is "Daniel in the Lion's Den") She sings "here, kitty, kitty, purr" and says "uddy avis" "uddy avis" She's just too cute. But don't tell her I said that :) As supporters of the museum, we were invited Tuesday to a reception. After we walked in, Buddy Davis walked up to us and said Hello. Shane was getting ready to introduce himself and us, and Buddy says "I know who you are" how cool is that? Well, I hope it's cool and not because our children, are loud and kind of nutty... but I guess it could be...
All of his music is good, but we particularly like "The Creation Musical Adventures" double CD and "Soar" This CD has the "here, kitty, kitty" song. And the title track is about the Eagle... He also has a newer album with romantic music for all us married folk and his newest is an instrumental mountain style hymns CD.
We are home, I have another entry on the laptop, but it'll wait. You'll be hearing alot about the conference in the next several posts I imagine.
"nigh nigh" as Sweet Cheeks says.
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Jun. 18, 2008 - Expectations?!?
Shane took my coffee grounds out to the tomatoes tonight because I was too lazy to do it earlier (or too busy getting the boys haircuts, baths, and housecleaning done before Bible study tonight). I asked him why it doesn't bother him to do what I should have done. He said "I have no expectations" I asked him how he can not have expectations. He said, he just didn't. Then he said that he didn't come into this marriage for him. But apparently I did. And while I'm at it, I guess I didn't go into motherhood for them either... but for me.
This is my problem! I expect "things."
I expect my children to obey the first time. I expect my husband to do things the way I want them done. (Or to do what I don't feel like doing). I expect the dog not to poo in the house. I expect traffic to be just as I want it to be. I expect!!!! I expect!!! And I expect!!!!
I should not expect. I should not expect anything! Period.
Okay, now that I think about it, I should except. But not the way I've been expecting things to be. I should expect for life to be hard. I should expect things to not go the way I plan. I should expect my children to need my guidance. I should expect my husband to need me to be his helpmeet. I should expect the dog to poo in the floor. He is still a puppy for goodness sake. (yes, on my blogging break, we found a new home for our "cat-dog" and got an adorable 7 month old silver poodle. We named him Ashur, so now we have Benjamin, our trusty choco lab, and Ashur. Children said "we only need 10 more dogs and we'll have the 12 tribes of Judah" NO way!)
I continue to struggle with bitterness, anger, and frustration on a regular basis. Tonight, I am convinced that this is the reason... my expectations are misplaced.
Oh Lord! Help me to have proper, truthful expectations, and not the expectations that satan has been tempting me for oh so many years to have. I'm afraid Lord that "expectations" have become my terrible habit... please Lord fill me with your Holy Spirt to leave this habit behind and look ahead to the goal that you have set for me... not to the expectations I have of others.
Whew... that's a heavy load.
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Jun. 11, 2008 - Thoughts on CPS
*** disclaimer*** be prepared for random thoughts ahead that may or may not make much sense.
The funeral for "B" was Monday morning at 10 with visitation at 9, we chose not to go... and to remember "B" the way he was. (the fact that we would have had to have left the house at 8 am had something to do with it as well). Honestly, it's probably better that we didn't go. Me and my big mough might have gotten me in trouble about how wrong and tragic this entire situation was. (not to mention the fact that I have a very active 2 year old that behaves well, but we would be in a room FILLED with state social workers).
Would you believe that the social worker that violated ethics by telling this young man that she was going to adopt him (when she had our homestudy sitting on her desk) still has a job??????????? She's probably even been promoted (no I don't know that, but wouldn't that be like CPS?)
I have been angry and frustrated with this entire situation. Yes, I know God is God, and He is Sovereign, and He allows all things, yet let's think about this from a human standpoint.
"Child Protective Services" yet, while this boy was in PROTECTIVE services HE DIED! Anybody else see a problem with this? I mentioned the idea that this might not have happened had he been with his birthmother to someone else that knew him, and the comment was "well.... I don't know..." This is a birthmom that never physically abused this boy (although her parenting skills did lack) and at one point she was actively trying to get him back, but was left without resources-- you know "no funding" so they sent him and his sister back to a mother who wanted to be a mother, but didn't have the skills, then they removed them again and convinced her they would be better off if she relinquished her parental rights. She relinquished thinking that a family that knew the foster family (us) would be adopting him... (Yes, I have thought of birthmom often the last several days and wonder how she is coping... she thought she was doing what was best for him and he ends up dead... if I were in her place I would be devastated.)
Here's the bottom line, "B" certainly couldn't be worse off with birthmom!
There was no news story on this situation, no mention of a family that had WANTED to adopt this boy... not even an obit in the paper... oh, there are people that are going to Jefferson City to "fight" but what good will that really do?? Unless CPS is dissolved and the police are allowed to enforce laws already in place that can address parental abuse issues, any "fighting" done, is useless.
This situation makes me wonder how many other children in "protective" services have met the same or similar fate that we haven't heard about???? I honestly believe most children in state custody are in worse situations than they would have been in with their parents. Think about it, most children get moved several times while in custody, (we even knew of a 2 1/2 year old that had been in 3 different homes in abaut a year's time) some are physically, or sexually abused by foster parents, they have very little if anything to call their own, they call their "foster" parents "mom and dad" how confusing that must be... I don't even call my in-laws mom and dad because I already have parents. Not to mention the fact that many times the children are yanked out of their homes without so much as a moment to say goodbye to parents (no matter how abusive a parent may be, the children still loves that parent and to be yanked out of the only home you have ever known must be a terrible feeling for a child). We brought home Little Bit under great circumstances, but I am convinced that his multiple problems stemmed from the fact that we met him one day and 4 days later he was on a plane with "strangers" going to a place he'd never been with people he didn't know... yep, the state cares! (do ya hear the sarcasm in my voice?)
If we weren't fearful of repercussions to our own family (meaning retaliation by the state and possible "protective" services for our children) I'd go public and wouldn't care who got peeved in the process, this is a boy's life afterall... but we've got to protect those precious darlings that we have... but watch out in 15 years.... fighting CPS might be my crusade if nobody has done it before then.
CPS/DFS or whatever your state calls, it is an unconstitutional institution set up to pit parents against their children, to make money for the state and to help fresh, just out of college brats that have never parented a child and probably never even been around children feel good about themselves as they "save" children from their "abusive parents"
Of course, there is always 2 sides to every story. I hate to think of how messed up our family might have been had we been allowed to adopt this child. We've already struggled through several years of issues with a child that didn't have nearly the problems that "B" had. We might not have been able to adopt Sweet Cheeks and we might have ended up going through a CPS investigation ourselves at some point. And "B" might have taken his own life regardless...
Yes, God is Sovereign and His divine Providence is far beyond my comprehension.
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May. 14, 2008 - Something I Couldn't Pass Up Sharing With You
Well, we are still busy, busy. Most of our business will end Saturday. It's been a fun time. But I'm really ready to get back to calmer days at home.
Okay, so I'm not "back" just yet, but I just read my Grace Gems for today and had to share it. It's by J.C. Ryle. It was written over 100 years ago, but amazingly is extremely applicable for today. You might consider the Emergent Church, Rick Warren, etc. as you read this. Unfortunately, imo, most of the music can still be labelled bad because it mimics the world. Okay, for that fact, that IS the biggest problem with the church today... wanting to mimic the world... yes today's church is also concerned about externals. How many in the youth group, how many "saved", how many "programs?" New building, fancy, expensive sound system? "Come as you are" (yes, we want you to be comfortable, God doesn't care how you dress as long as you are there). It's all externals...
I dislike square pews, and bad music
(J. C. Ryle, "The Outlook" 1886)
The worst cloud which I see in our Church's outlook, is the widespread disposition to regard religious externalism, as a substitute for vital soul-saving Christianity.
When I speak of externalism, let me explain what I mean. We all know that the external part of religion has received a large amount of new attention during the last forty years. All over the land it has become the fashion to restore churches, to get rid of old square pews, to improve the singing and music, to have a well-adorned choir, to decorate the church-building in a most elaborate style, and, in one word, to adorn, beautify, and improve the whole exterior of Church Christianity. Do I say there is anything sinful in all this? Nothing of the kind! I abhor everything like slovenliness in the ceremonials of worship. I dislike square pews, and bad music, and bad singing as much as anyone! But I do say, that I fear an external improvement often takes place in a church—without the slightest corresponding increase of godliness in the worshipers! No doubt there is a far more show of religion in our Churches—but it is very doubtful whether there is more vital Christianity, more presence of the Holy Spirit, more heart and conscience work, in the private lives and the homes of our people. I fear that in hundreds of cases, men have rested content with having secured a handsome church and a 'bright and hearty service,' and have forgotten that what God looks at—is the hearts of the worshipers, and the quantity of grace to be found among them.
This is a very delicate subject, and I would be sorry to be misunderstood, or to give pain to anyone in handling it. But I am obliged to say plainly, that I fail to see that all the external improvement of the last forty years, is accompanied by any corresponding growth of practical holiness! There is no decrease in the total idolatry of recreations, or the extravagant expenditure of money, or self-indulgence of all kinds. On the contrary, there is far less repentance, faith, holiness, Bible-reading, and family religion! If this state of things is not a most unhealthy symptom in the condition of a Church, I know not what is!
We may depend upon it—that knowledge of Christ, obedience to Christ, and the fruits of the Spirit—are the only tests by which God weighs and measures any Church. If these are absent, He cares nothing for beautiful buildings, fine singing, and a pompous ceremonial. These are 'leaves,' and He desires to see not leaves only, but 'fruit'. The tree of the Church of England perhaps never had so many leaves on it, as it has just now. I wish there was a corresponding quantity of fruit!
We must never forget that the Temple service at Jerusalem in the day of our Lord's crucifixion was the most perfect ceremonial that ever was—whether for singing, order, vestments, or general magnificence and beauty. Yet we all know that at this very time, the Jewish Church was thoroughly rotten at heart, and after forty years was swept away! Who can doubt that the little upper chamber, where the apostles met on the day of our Lord's ascension, was far more beautiful in God's sight, than the beautiful temple which our Master Himself called 'a den of thieves'? I heartily wish that we would remember this, more than we appear to do. The disposition to make an idol of externals, and to sacrifice the inside of religion to the outside, is, in my judgment, the darkest cloud on our ecclesiastical horizon! Of this we may be quite certain—that God will never bless a Church which is content with such a low standard of practical piety.
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence! Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like white-washed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous, but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness!" Matthew 23:25-28
Psalm 51:17 tells us what God wants.... "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. " ESV
In case you want something in the New Testament...
James 4:6 says "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you."
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Apr. 10, 2008 - All Things are Rubbish
I began reading J.I. Packer's "Knowing God" this morning. He quotes from Phillipians 3:7-10.
But whatever it profit I now consider everything a loss for the sake of Christ. What more, I consider everything a loss compared to the greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him--- I want to know Christ.
He continues on to say that elaborate on what Paul means when he calls these things "rubbish" or "dung" (we know all about that having chickens  ).
He says that not only does Paul not think of them as having value, but also that he doesn't live with them constantly on his mind. Packer says, "What normal person spends his time nastalgically dreaming of manure?" He continues, "Yet this, in effect, is what many of us do. It shows how little we have in the way of true knowledge of God."
Okay, this really spoke to me as oftentimes I find myself dwelling on things, not nostagically, but situations that we need to figure out. Things that are bothering me. Like a situation with an extended family member that is before us, like the situation with Little Bit, like some other things that I have been dwelling on.
I was thinking this morning about my weight. (Went to the dr. yesterday and have gained about 6 lbs in the last year). The summer before Shane and I married I went through Weigh Down Workshop (I have since reattended, and think it's gotten a little weird) but felt that it was very helpful nearly 14 years ago. Great principles for learning how to be a "thin eater" Shane did it with me, even though he was here in MO and I was in TN. I told him the premise and we both lost weight. (was smaller than I was in high school at one point).
I started gaining it back when Bubba was about 2 years or so old. This morning I realized that this was also around the time Shane got laid off and the family integrated church died. The church thing was a mess before we got there and quite honestly looking back, we should have never been involved. But I digress. During that time, I think something died within me , in a way. I've not been as trusting, since then. I've been quicker to find fault. And I've not been as close to God. And I've gained back all the weight I had lost and kept off for 7 or so years. I am wondering now, if I've ever totally "forgiven" God for that whole affair.
Oh Lord God, forgive me for blaming you for and harboring ill thoughts these last few years about all the struggles we faced through those years. Lord forgive me for holding on to the disappointments and the dreams. Forgive me for being angry that we haven't been able to find a church home that we are totally pleased with. Forgive me for looking for the negative. Forgive me for blaming you that Shane is not preaching any longer.
Father cleanse me, wash me and purify me. Lord I want to trust you, but sometimes life makes it so hard. I pray Oh Lord help me in my unbelief! You are trustworthy and faithful and truth. Fill me and use me. You are the Potter and I am the clay, mold me and make me what you will. Use me for your glory. In Jesus Name, Amen.
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Apr. 9, 2008 - We Do It For Them
There are things we'd change about our church home, but several that we really appreciate. One of the things we appreciate is the leadership's willingness to let us train our children the way that God has convicted us. That means no children's Sunday School classes for them. They stay in the adult class with us. Now, that oftentimes means that they don't get much out of what is said. Sometimes I don't get much out of what is said. One of the men that teaches gets well above my head and wants to be so thorough that I miss the point, so I'm sure the children do also.
I have often thought that it would be so much easier to attend a bigger church where we could get involved more in the everyday goings on of the body. We have heard of and know of a couple that have sound Bible teaching and people are growing in the Lord. It would be even easier if we just attended a church in the little town that we live in. But the small town churches here would not understand us. In addition, we would have some doctrinal differences to overcome. We have never been pre-mellenial and most of the baptist churches around here are. We have always fallen in the amellenial camp. This is too big of a theological difference to have to explain to our children. Our change in our view of Baptism has been a big enough hurdle to overcome for the time being. (Bubba esp. is having a hard time believing a "believer's baptism" as opposed to the baptismal regeneration belief that he had been taught since the day he was born).
We made the mistake of putting our children in SS a few years ago, after Shane was preaching at the family integrated church and we were deflated... we gave in. It was not a wise choice. It took some time for the children to understand not going to children's Bible class. We had to convince them. Bubba has since told me he never got anything Biblical out of them, but they sure were fun.
Honestly, it was so much easier before we had children. We could overlook things we disagreed with. We loved our church home when we were first married. But I can be pretty sure that now that we have children, it would not fit our desire for a church home. There are several other churches where we would grow and learn, but to attend there we'd have to sacrifice our children on the altar of programs and we're not willing to do that. So we'll go forward, appreciating what our church home offers and filling in the rest at home.
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Apr. 3, 2008 - He's Speaking to Me
Hebrews 12
12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? (I guess this is what I really need to see, since I can't seem to unbold it).
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. 14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; 16 that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. 17 For you know that afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears.
We usually read "Grace Gems" for morning devotional, but this morning, there wasn't one in my inbox, so I got out a book of family devotions from CBH. Today's devo was about "school" so I turned back a page and part of this passage was the scripture reading for today. The story was about an African missionary that visited a family. The boy in the story was "brave" he said he would fight the tigers, etc. But the missionary told him that although the lion, and tigers do occassionally kill people, it is the the misquitoes that they really have to worry about. It's threat of yellow fever and malaria is greater... having an African daughter really puts this in perspective.
The misquitoes of life is what will kill me.
Right now, there are lots of misquitoes in my life.
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Mar. 23, 2008 - Doubting Thomas Not the Only One????
I saw something today that I had never seen before in Scripture. I love it when that happens...
John 20:19-29
19 On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” 20 When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. 21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” 22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.”
Do you see it??? It's in verse 20. Jesus showed the disciples (minus Thomas because he wasn't there) his hands and his side. Then, the disciples were glad. Did Jesus do that because he knew that they wouldn't believe if He didn't show them???
Thomas wanted to touch, that was the only difference. So why is Thomas the only one that gets the bum rap?
24 Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”
26 Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” 28 Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
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Feb. 9, 2008 - Ladies Study?????
I had this entry all typed up and after I hit the "add new entry" button below, I realized that I had inadvertantly gotten knocked off line. So I'm starting over... thankfully it was one of those that came relatively easy and wasn't very long either.
Some of you may remember a while back when I mentioned the ladies study we were going to start at church and how excited I was about the meatiness of it. Not just fluff, but something to actually sink my teeth into. It is Martin Lloyd-Jones Studies in the Sermon on the Mount.
Everything was great until we reached chapters 17, 18, 19 and 20 (actually I we read chapter 17 and the pastor's wife decided to skip the other three). Lloyd-Jones is a covenantalist and the church we attend is new covenantal. I did not realize there was a big difference... and quite honestly even now, I feel that "we're" splitting hairs. However, apparently it IS a big deal to everyone but me...I have been VERY uncomfortable the last few weeks as we have studied this. Even thinking about it during the inbetween weeks have made my stomach turn. I have been in many Bible studies that I have been uncomfortable in, where I feel I have to keep my mouth closed. But apparently I'm supposed to be learning to keep my big mouth closed....
In fact, because of this, I am thinking that a ladies study should not include such deep theological issues... maybe a ladies study should not extend out of the area of Titus 2.
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."
Lord knows we need more of this in our churches...
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Nov. 30, 2007 - J-O-Y
Since getting home from the Above Rubies retreat I have been digging into Nancy's study "The Power of Motherhoood" (even if it's just 5-10 minutes a day).
Yesterday I was reading the chapter on being a joyful mother and Nancy mentioned the acronym J-O-Y
J-Jesus First
O-Other's second
Y- Yourself last
This wasn't the first time I had seen this, but with all the other acronym's floating around out there, I hadn't really given it much thought. But yesterday I did. In fact, I gave it so much thought that I wrote it on an index card and hung it on the refridgerator. Then I spoke to the children about it when at breakfast. I pulled it out when they were arguing later, and I reminded myself of it several times yesterday....and Nancy was right.
"It works"
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Nov. 12, 2007 - I Look Exotic?????????
I thought that title might get your attention. But you'll have to wait to find out what it's all about.  (this is my second time attempting this as the dogs were playing earlier and turned off the computer and I lost my work-- drats)
First, if you don't get the Above Rubies magazine. GO NOW and sign up for it. It is a free resource (although they do accept donations) and it will encourage you in your walk as a wife and mother.
The retreat was wonderful!!! Serene and Pearl were there with several of their children and Nancy had her 4 new daughters from Liberia there too. They sang for us and it was so fun. They are precious children and I'm so glad they are here. Serene and Pearl had fun singing to us and even sang a couple of songs Nancy hadn't even heard yet. If you can buy their music, it will also encourage you in your mothering role.
My friend and I decided that we couldn't have handpicked better roommates. We had Tracy's new baby 4 months old boy. Nicole's husband had a reversal and they are waiting for baby, so she got her baby fix. They live on a mini farm with chickens and goats, and we have chickens and land. Her sil is adopting from Ethiopia soon and even though Nicole lives in Arkansas, her sil lives right down the road from us! Becky is a sweetheart, with a wealth of information about herbs and living healthy. We visited about everything under the sun. Precious ladies. I was able to spend time with Sara Shepard who is 18 now? and organized the retreat in Oklahoma last year. She is courting a young man with hopes of a future marriage. Yippee Sara!!!!!! I just love Sara dearly and am so thrilled for her!!!! I also met her friend Victoria (I hope that's right?). It was wonderful to meet so many young ladies with goals to be Godly wives and mothers. The fellowship alone was worth the trip. And of course, I took pictures of my crew with me, especially Sweet Cheeks, and showed them off and shared our story to whoever would listen. In fact, I stalked Nancy Friday evening and Saturday until there was a time when she was free to tell her all about it.
Nancy spoke about Powerful Parenting. She had 8 points, but only expounded on 5 of them. It was so good and encouraging. Here they are:
1. Purposeful Parenting. My notes for this inadvertantly got taken my my friend that went with me, she's going to mail my folder up, so look for info on this later.
2. Positive Parenting. Yes, we've all heard how important this is but it was nice to be reminded that we need to say "yes more than no" and speak faith building encouraging words. One thing Nancy suggested is to make a checklist for encouraging everyone every day. That way no one is forgotten. We need to make encouragement a habit. She reminded us of several scriptures that speak of pleasant words.
3. Principled Parenting. We must have principles that we will stick to in our family lives. We must also have a spirit of life in our homes, not of legalism. Two suggestions here. Always go to church, whether in a building or homechurch with other families, fellowship with believers is Biblical, and it shows our children that it is important. She said her and Colin even took the children when they were sick. (I don't know about that myself, but I admire them for doing it). Also, she talked about the "family meal table" and how this is the most important time of the day. After the meal, a short reading of Scripture and a time where everyone prays.
4. Prayerful Parenting. I'm just going to confess that I don't do this enough. Nancy said that prayer is the greatest way to put our enemies to flight. She used the tabernacle's description that the emblems were attended to "morning and evening" to teach us that we should be in prayer at least 2 times a day. She talked about the fire being tended to "morning and evening" the incense was lit "morning and evening" the lamp was lit "morning and evening" the lambs were sacrificed "morning and evening"
5. Patient Parenting. Nancy discussed how we need to live "above the graft" She talked about how seeded orange trees become navel trees. That a graft is grown in and then the tree produces navel oranges. The tree is even called a navel tree after that time. But that branches below the graft will sometimes grow and they are cut off because they are seeded starts. She likened these orange trees to us. Before we are believers, we are seeded orange trees, (in the world) then Christ is grafted in and we become navel orange trees (Christians). Sometimes shoots grow below the graft and we need to cut them off and live above the graft. (this was a tremendous revelation to me, as not growing up in the church, I tend to live below the graft oftentimes)
She also talked about parenting is not about how I feel as a mother, but it's a commitment. Like marriage-- you don't always feeeel in love with your husband, but you are committed and chose to love your husband. We must choose to love our children sometimes when they are unloveable.
6. Protective Parenting. She talked about Proverbs 31:27 we "look well" to the ways of our household. Nancy said that the Hebrew here for "look well" means we are watchmen. So we are to be the "watch-woman" of our home.
7. Permanent Parenting. We need a good marriage and should build our house up.
8. Perservering Parenting. I can only imagine where she would have gone with this as Nancy did not get to expound on this point.
Now, as for me looking exotic. I was able to visit with Serene some Saturday evening and Sunday before lunch--what a darling lady. Anyway while we were talking she told me that she had been staring at me-- that I looked exotic and that I had a beautiful face and high cheek bones, and she was just drawn to stare at me. I am blown away by this. I remember being a teenager with the latest teen magazine in tow trying to figure out if I had high cheek bones and deciding that I in fact did not. Now I'm told not only do I have high cheek bones, but that I look exotic-- this coming from Serene Allison who is VERY exotic looking with her beautiful long black hair and stunning features. I feel frumpy next to her tall, lean beautiful body-- and that after birthing how many babies????? So I sit, still in wonder at thinking of myself as "exotic looking"
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Nov. 9, 2007 - I'm off to Little Rock
This evening begins the Above Rubies retreat in Little Rock. I'm leaving in about an hour, picking up a friend on the way down and should be there in time for Nancy's first lesson this evening.
Boy do I need the encouragement. Seems like the enemy has been attacking lately. I have been discouraged about my parenting. Frustrated at having to repeat things for the millionth time. Frustrated at "I forgot" Yes, he "forgot" things I have told him at least a million times. AGGGGGGGGGG!!!
So, this weekend is sure to be a time of reflection, refreshment and getting my attitude back in line.
Please pray for our travels and for me as I strive to be the mother that I KNOW God wants me to be.
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Nov. 4, 2007 - Comments on Comments
I thought about responding in the comments to these thoughts, but I know not everyone goes back and reads the comments. Melody brought up some good food for thought. And I’ve had to think hard about her comment. Iron sharpening iron–gotta love it!
First I want to say that I appreciate the loving spirit with which Melody expressed her thoughts. If all believers handled their differences this way, there would be little to no dissention in the church 
Melody wrote:
3. Okay, here is where I have some questions. First of all, the Bible does not say anything about asking someone for help, but it DOES say to not go into debt. You just said you’d rather go into debt than “beg”. That sounds unbiblical to me. Well I personally would not do a “$1 adoption”, I do not think it is wrong. I think it is a matter of how God is leading your particular family. Remember, God askes a lot of people to give (and maybe never adopt) and $1 adoption is a way for them to do so conveniently and privately. Of course, ideally the body of Christ should be so tightly knit this wouldn’t be an issue, but we are not living in an ideal world.
I totally agree!!! In an ideal world, not marred by sin, this wouldn’t even be an issue. But it is. And, among other things, adoptions are outrageously expensive in most cases.
I have to disagree with you that the Bible says debt is wrong. I do believe that it does strongly discourage debt. (if you have a specific verse in mind, I’d be interested).
The Bible talks in Proverbs and Isaiah about the borrower being a slave to the lender. Proverbs 37 also says that the “wicked borrow but do not pay back.” So Scripture does imply that debt is a bad idea. Also, if I remember right, that is what Jubilee was, at least partly, about–the forgiving of debt. Why would this be discussed if debt was sinful?
However, the Scriptures do say that if a man shall not work, he shall not eat. (implying that one should not beg). The author of the 37th psalm also says that he has never seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging bread. I guess the question would be, are the $1 adoptions begging?
On a side note, if we had not gone into debt, Sweet Cheeks would not have been able to come home when she did. We prayed God would provide the money without borrowing. We applied for grants (and would have received at least one of them, but they were out of money). But He did provide a home equity loan when we refinanced our house a couple of years ago, we did not ask for it and that the lender said she had never seen it happen before. :)
Melodie comments further:
Which leads me to my final point: What are missionaries supposed to do if the can’t raise support (”beg”). Perhaps you believe that a missionary’s home church should support them entirely, and that would make sense. But do you really believe it is wrong for a believer to request financial assistance in all situations? I can totally understand the motive of your question. Being that your family has been in missions for so long. Let me say that raising support is not begging. A missionary is working! And works harder than many people realize. Many missionaries give up so much of their lives and themselves to work exclusively for the Kingdom, not just being salt and light, but purposefully reaching out to unbelievers in countries many of us don’t even want to visit. I believe the Bible addresses this:
In 1 Timothy 5 Paul tells Timothy that elders who work in preaching and teaching should receive double honor. (I don’t know for sure that Paul is talking of monetary “honor” but it certainly would fit). Then in 1 Corinthians 9:13 -14 says: ”Do you not know that those who are employed in the temple service get their food from the temple, and those who serve at the altar share in the sacrificial offerings? In the same way, the Lord commanded that those who proclaim the gospel should get their living by the gospel. “
This tells me that the church should support our missionaries. There is one more situation I am thinking of but can’t find it and I’ve looked all the logical places I can think of. Paul is talking about how although he could have asked for support from this church, he was glad that he didn’t from this particular group. (I’m thinking it’s also in Corinthians, but I cannot find it).
Working as missionary, or pastor is so very different than asking people to “donate” $1 to adopt a child or anything else for that matter. (just for the record, I get frustrated at ministry’s that ask for a “suggested donation” a suggested donation does not seem to be a donation at all– just my thought :) .
I guess the $1 adoptions just remind me of a chain letter, or a homeless person begging on the side of the road. And I personally think that it takes away from the testimony of what God can do.
2nd Comment, much shorter answer
Melanie wrote that she was going to take a copy of ”10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives” to the flea market. This is NOT what I am saying at all. I think Dr. Laura has some great insight (as well as some others) but I just don’t think it belongs in a church for “Bible study”
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Nov. 4, 2007 - Guru's and Begging
*** This was originally posted on wordpress Oct. 8th. Interesting comments on this and the "comments on comments" post. Thought it would be interesting to let this sit at the top too.
Here’s the post I was talking about writing. It may step on toes as I certain both of these topics are topics that people either love or hate….well, here goes
I have been pondering these two subjects for some time. They are both about money, so I guess they relate.
It seems nearly everywhere I go I hear Dave Ramsey this and Dave Ramsey that. I am bothered. Churches everywhere are using his materials for Sunday school classes. The same thing happened with Dr. Phil a few years ago and Oprah before that. A while back, I had heard of a church that was planning to use one of Dr. Laura’s books for Bible study class (and it wasn’t the one on the 10 commandments). I think it was 10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives Many Christians still talk non-stop about Dr. Phil and for that matter Oprah. Who are they?? From what I know that are not believers in the Christ as the only way of salvation. And yet, we take their advice like it is the Holy Scriptures.
My question—who are we to worship??? Jesus Christ the true and living God or Oprah, Dr. Phil or Dave Ramsey???
From my understanding, Mr. Ramsey advocates keeping track of nearly every penny that is spent. In my opinion, this is way too much focus on the money. Please don’t misunderstand me, I think budgets in and of themselves are a good thing. Shane has us on one, but if I go over a little, it’s not a big deal and we don’t focus on it. If I go under, I have a party :) If there is something that we want/need and we find the best deal going, we might go ahead and buy it even though it isn’t in the budget.
BTW, I am not saying that Mr. Ramsey doesn’t have good ideas. I’m sure he does. I am saying that I’m hearing more about Dave Ramsey than I am about Jesus from many Christians lately.
Next… begging.
Anyone seen these new websites? “$1 adoptions”? I don’t want to link to any of them because I don’t want to embarrass people or single them out. For those of you that haven’t seen them they are websites that a family creates telling about their adoption and then asking for a $1 donation towards their adoption. Sounds great on the surface, but what these people are really doing is begging.
Anybody ever hear of George Mueller? He was the Christian man who cared for several hundred orphans in his lifetime and never once asked anyone but God the Father Almighty for a penny. He took his every request and laid it at the feet of the Father. And the Father provided in mighty ways. And it wasn’t from people donating $1 here and $1 there.
We just completed our 4th adoption a few months ago. We did not have $14,000 laying around to adopt our precious daughter.
We did receive some donations, unsolicited. We went into DEBT (whoa—don’t tell Dave Ramsey hehe) and will be paying the adoption off for some time to come. Personally, I would much rather go into debt that to beg for money to bring a child home.
Stepping off the toes now…
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Nov. 4, 2007 - Question in Earnest
****this post was originally written on Oct. 19th on the wordpress blog. No one answered. I am sincerely wondering...
Last Sunday during Bible study we were talking about Pre-A- and Post Mellennial. I would fall into the A-Mellennium camp. I borrowed a book that the class leader made some quotes from because I was just floored at some of the beliefs about Pre-mellenialism.
So… that leads me to this question and comment.
If Jesus is going to set up a literal 1000 year reign, why did he speak in the gospels of not coming to set up an earthly kindgom? We know that we are aliens in a foreign land– why would it somehow be made an unforeign land?
Please answer in earnest, with kindness and Christian love.
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Oct. 29, 2007 - Reformation Day or Halloween
Both occur on the same day, but until about 3 years ago, I had no idea that Reformation day even exsisted. Maybe you didn’t either? Maybe you have no idea what I’m talking about even now? I certainly couldn’t blame you, it’s not commonly spoken of, even in mainline Christian circles.
October 31st is Reformation day. It is the anniversary of the day that Martin Luther nailed his 95 thesis on the Wittenburg church door. Some churches celebrate this holiday on the last Sunday of the month. Many don’t celebrate it at all.
Maybe you’re like us, when we lived in the city we kept our porch light and other lights in the front of the house off and went upstairs to watch a movie. Praying no unknowing little child would ring our doorbell.
Maybe, you celebrate Halloween, or maybe you participate in your churches ”trunk or treat” or a Bible character costume party, or allow your children to go to parties that “aren’t Halloween related” but fall near Halloween on the calendar.
In case you don’t know, Halloween has it’s roots in Witchcraft and paganism. God’s word speaks against witchcraft. (If you doubt, look in your concordance, or an online Bible). Christian Information Ministries has an article here about witchcraft and Halloween. If you feel you must, you can also google halloween and wicca and find a ton of wiccan websites that talk about casting spells and such. (It gave me the creeps, but I did it a minute ago just to see what would come up). Yikes! Scary stuff…
If you are a believer, you are called to be different. Why would you want to participate in a holiday that celebrates evil? Or in an activity that mimicks the world?
Why would you want your children practicing the selfish behavior of “trick or treat?” in other words, “If you don’t give me something, and something good, I’m going to do something mean to you.”
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Oct. 29, 2007 - Teaching Children Creation is Abuse?????
Ken Ham recently blogged about an interview he did with NPR about the Creation Museum. Apparently his opponent, Dr. Nicholas Money from Miami University in Ohio is “proud of the fact that I am an ape” Please listen to the sound file if you don’t believe it. Dr. Money actually then goes on to talk about how it is a “beautiful and rich view of life” (being an ape, that is). Amazing…
Here is a quote from Mr. Ham’s website. ”Now, keep in mind, that in the early part of the interview he said that the Answers in Genesis Creation Museum is abusive towards children, because he said we were teaching error. “
This is the point I wanted to get to. Teaching Creation Science is ABUSIVE??? Actually, I’d say teaching that one is formed by random chance from an ape is moreso. It teaches children that there is no reason to believe that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” It gives no value to human life and no “esteem” Which is why we have people walking around in our cities with such wonderful “self” esteem and 7 year olds are committing suicide
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Oct. 29, 2007 - Thoughts and Kindness
I am feeling convicted lately of several things in my parenting that aren’t what they should be. This is just one of them that I’m feeling the crunch about today.
Yesterday afternoon I was visiting with Bubba. Lately, I have noticed that oftentimes, the children are speaking unkindly to one another, and sometimes to me. I asked him where he thought they learned it.
“I don’t know”
then I asked the question… you know which one. The one that you already know the answer to, but you don’t really want to hear it.
”does Mommy talk like that?”
meekly Bubba says “yes”
Ouch!  So I repented and vowed to do a better job at speaking kindly overall.
This morning, Bubba answered the phone. Politely as always,” ________ residence, Bubba speaking” Then I hear, “are you a telemarketer?” in a not so kind tone. Fortunately, I believe the “telemarketer” on the other end had hung up and didn’t hear Bubba’s unkindness because they called back a few minutes later and hung up when I answered. In case you’re wondering, let me assure you I have NEVER done that ever a time in my life, so he didn’t get that from me.
A few minutes later, he was playing with Sweet Cheeks and accidently did something that wasn’t very polite to Princess. So I talked to all of them about “taking every thought captive” and treating others as you would want to be treated. We talked about how we need to think about what we do before we actually do it. We need to ask if the person to whom I’m going to do said act would like it done to them.” “What if someone did it to me, would I like it?” Bubba admited that he wouldn’t like it if someone did what he was doing to Princess…
Lately Dobson, IMO, has been hit or miss. But this morning was really good. About not just having obedient children, but about having children with right hearts. That’s what my desire is for my children. For them to love the Lord their God with all their hearts, minds, souls and strength and to love their neighbor as themselves.
Dear Father, please take my feeble attempts at teaching my children to love you and draw them unto yourself in spite of my foolishness. In Jesus Name, Amen
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Oct. 23, 2007 - Harry Potter and Homosexuality
If Harry Potter normalizing witchcraft isn’t enough for believers in the saving faith of Christ maybe this will be– on second thought “believers” that have no problem with HP may not have a problem with this either.
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October 19, 2007 at 6:29 pm e
Okay, those were pretty good responses. Since you often do discuss potentially controversial issues, I would suggest you clarifiying what you do think falls into your belief, and what doesn’t. That’s why I asked about raising support for missions. Because to me I thought you would qualify that has begging. But I can definately see that they are two completely different things. Just when you say “Christian’s shouldn’t beg” but don’t clarify what is within the Bible, and what you believe is not, than the message you are trying to get accross can be confused.
-Melodie
October 23, 2007 at 3:49 am e
I am bothered by the $1 thing too. I want to say more, but I don’t want to publicly. Someone I really respect is doing the same for a different reason, and I do feel like it is begging for help. I was quite shocked to see it! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
November 2, 2007 at 3:55 pm e
As a missionary forced into debt due to agency issues (expenses we could not get stopped when not needed) and a partner overseas that did not fulfill their obligations, we understand both. Now that we are back, what are we supposed to do? We cannot go back until our debt is covered, but we could not get back from the field without charging our airfare. Our church decided once we were overseas that they only would support indigenous and did not provide the support they had originally promised.
What now? Are we no longer called because people burned us? Are we sinful because we charged our way home? Our agency has now terminated us, so any fundraising no longer comes to us.
Fundraising is not begging, but often we as people are not as faithful as we should be in swearing to our own hurt, which in the bible did include to our own debt.