Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

I'm going to be a grandma again!!!  YIPPEE!!!    Chelle and Josh are adding a new grandson to the four children they adopted after they lost our precious angel Ellora 2 years ago.  I have written 3 long, long posts tonight, but somehow each time it got deleted somehow, and now it is late, so I'll wait till tomorrow to share the rest of my news.

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

I would really appreciate pray for my Dad tomorrow.  He is feeling so well lately, and we hope that the doctors agree with our opinion of things and don't find something new to thrill us with.  He will be having his consults with his cardiologist and with his oncologist both tomorrow. 

They are still trying to decide whether to keep him on the blood thinners and not worry about the atrial fibrillation, or whether to try to shock his heart back into rhythm.  As far as the lung cancer recurring in his good lung, the lung specialist that we had the consult with a couple weeks ago said that he was certain that it was not cancer after all, but a rare form of wandering bronchitis that sometimes occurs in patients who have undergone radiation for lung cancer.  Let's hope and pray that the oncologist agrees with this! 

Dad looks good and feels good, other than having a severe rash from the oral chemo drug he has been taking.  He looks like he has a very serious case of teenage acne all over his face, scalp, neck, and chest.  It itches and burns, but he said he would much rather put up with that than chance having the cancer come back. 

Tomorrow night is the annual Relay for Life.  We have walked in it for about 15 years or so, since my mom first had cancer.  We buy luminaries in memory of her, Uncle Don, and Aunt Gertie, and in honor of my dad and Aunt Mary.  This year we will have to buy an additional one in honor of my mother-in-law. 

The first lap is called the Survivor's Lap, and only those who have or have had cancer walk in it.  My dad walked in the Survivor's Lap last year, and this was when he was undergoing chemo and radiation, and had just had heart stents put in.  You should have seen his face when he crossed that finish line!  He was so proud and happy.  We were so worried last year that he wouldn't be with us this year to walk, let alone in such great shape!   So we'll get to see him take another victory lap in the Survivor's Lap! 

I am so very, very proud of my dad and his attitude toward his cancer, and his hard work to continue to live a normal life despite it all.  Through it all, he always asks Jesus to just hold his hand, whatever may come.  He has never given up, and in my book, he is a true winner! 

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

I am not certain whether the cure is much better than the disease.  The pills the doctor is having me take for the diverticulitis are making me feel worse instead of better.  Can you tell from my lack of posting lately that I haven't felt well?  I miss blogging, but it seems like absolutely everything is such an effort lately.  I'd rather just curl up and sleep.

The pain is subsiding a bit, but the pills are making me extremely nauseous and just in general feeling sick.  Before I just hurt---now I feel sick.  They taste horrible, but I can put up with that.  I must say though, that I have never had a pill that tasted worse.  You don't even have to lay it on your tongue to taste it.   As soon as you hold it inside your mouth, just holding onto it before putting it on your tongue, it already can be tasted.  How is that even possible?  A not so fun side effect is that it makes the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet burn like I have a severe sunburn.  It just starts to feel better, and it's time to take another pill. 

At least the pain is going away.  Tomorrow I go in for a bunch of lab tests---tons of blood work.  One that I am really interested in is the thyroid function.  I had Hashimoto's years ago, and had half my thyroid taken out.  The fact that I am not losing anymore weight lately, and wasn't losing as much as I thought I should before that, make me wonder what the other half of my thyroid is up to. Without health insurance, I couldn't have it checked for quite some time.  It would be nice to have an excuse for the weight not coming off more quickly :-) 

Please pray that I feel better soon.  One more day of these pills and they will be gone, and hopefully I'll perk up again???  I sure hope so!  Too much to do to feel like just lopping around on the couch all day. 

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

I thought that I would do a little belly-aching about my belly ache.  Today has been a bit better day.  Knowing for sure what  was wrong  has helped  tremendously.  Even though I still hurt badly, I know that it is a hurt that will go away with proper care and watching what I eat.  That is so much better than worrying about cancer! 

The doctor sent me the official CT Scan report, and it says that my transverse and sigmoid colon are both "corkscrewed."  I read that and thought no wonder my insides feel like they do!  I don't remember in studying biology that colons are supposed to be corkscrewed!  OUCH! 

The medicine they give for this is the same thing they give for amoebic dysentery and other strange intestinal illnesses.  Let me tell you, those pills taste BAD!!!  Nasty, nasty, taste the second they touch your tongue.  You can't swallow them fast enough to avoid the taste.  Yuck, yuck, and yuck again.

Want to know something totally unfair about all this?  I have hurt and felt ill for about 3 weeks, and had very little to no appetite.  I ate next to nothing!  And when I weighed myself today, I was UP 2 pounds---just how can that happen to a faithful Blubber Blogger?  I thought for certain that at least something good would come out of feeling so crummy, as in losing about 10 pounds from not eating.  Dream on, Kathy...  Oh, well, it was a nice dream, that is, until I stepped on the scale and reality woke me up...

Thought that I would pop in and say hi, and let everyone know I am alive and well.  Now it's back to the couch to eat some yogurt.  I don't know if their is any truth to my theory, but I am hoping that the "good germs" in the yogurt will help heal my poor, sore colon!  At least it's worth a try!

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

It certainly took them long enough to let me know what was going on in my poor tummy…I hurt for 2 weeks before going to the doctor last Wed., he ordered the CT Scan immediately which ended up being on Friday, and they finally called with the results after 5 pm today.  How’s that for speed and efficiency?  And all the while all I could think of was my family history of colon cancer and kidney cancer----I was terrified!  If it hadn’t been for you ladies and your prayers, I don’t know how I would have made it through the past week with my sanity intact.

PTL, it wasn’t the “C” word…it was the “D” word instead.  I have a bad case of chronic diverticulitis that I’ll have the rest of my days.  It has the whole left descending colon inflamed and swollen, and even is interfering with me going to the bathroom as it is putting pressure on all exits out…lol  ( I know, TMI..)  And it HURTS!!!  

The dr. says that I will have to modify my diet drastically for the next few weeks, then see how I am and see how much of a normal diet I can return to.  I probably can never eat nuts, berries, or sweet corn ever again---all of which I dearly love!  For now I have to stay off all roughage, too.  And I was just getting into all my healthy eating and loving the fruits and veggies that I had never liked before.  My fridge is full of nuts and berries and roughage type veggies.  And I had lost 18 pounds eating all that yummy stuff.  Anyone have any good ideas for alternatives?

And I am to avoid stress…like that will happen…  He says that doesn’t cause it, but will make it flare up when you have it already.  I have apparently had this for awhile, but never had it flare up this badly before.  I do vaguely remember similar symptoms a few other times, but not this painful and gone in just a day or two. This time it hurts so badly that if it wasn't for the fact that it is on the left side, and the fact that my appendix  has been removed, I would swear I had a bad case of appendicitis.

So for the next 2 weeks I have to monitor my temp, watch for any additional tenderness, any bleeding, or any vomiting.  Then go back for a recheck and see where to go from there.  My dad has had this for years, and has been hospitalized quite a few times with it, and even has had to be transfused, so I’m going to have to be very careful to listen to the doctor and not ignore what he says to do. 

I was just talking with Jenni, my Blubber Blogger Buddy, and realized that I may never get to eat another SNICKERS BAR ever again----now that is serious!!!!

Thanks so very much to all of you who helped pray me through yet another scare.

Also wanted to let you know that BJ's bronchitis is FINALLY starting to settle down enough that he isn't coughing the entire night.  He is getting a few hours of rest at least.  It will probably take another few days before he really starts to feel like himself again. He went back to work at camp yesterday, and says that he is doing fine except for at night.  My poor little boy!

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

I wanted to let you know that the actual CT Scan and tests today went just fine.  Now if only the results will turn out just fine, too.

I had never had a CT Scan before, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  The scanner was like a huge donut, and so wasn’t closed in at all, like the ones I have seen before.  So I didn’t need to worry about feeling all closed in. 

The stuff to drink actually didn’t taste bad at all, so that was much better than having to gag it down.  It was to distend your bowel, so that they could see things more clearly in the picture, so my tummy still feels “puffy” and bloated tonight, and not much appetite---that’s a GOOD thing for a Blubber Blogger, though!  LOL    Even the IV went in easily, which doesn’t happen often for me. 

The only bad part was when they added the iodine to the IV---it made you feel all hot and tingly feeling all over, and even made you feel like you had wet your pants!  They warned me ahead of time it would feel like that, and they were right!  

A silly problem was that they had to take 2 pictures, because she hadn’t had me take my clothes off, and found out in the scan that I had an underwire bra on, and it was showing up in the picture…that was kind of funny.

My dear, wonderful BBBuddy, Jenni, prayed me through the whole thing, and let me tell you, she is absolutely the bestest Blubber Blogger Buddy in the entire world!!!  She sent me scriptures and prayers, and prayed while she walked, and talked to me on the IM to calm me down this week many, many times. I want to nominate her for the Bestest Buddy in the World Award!  Thanks to the rest of you who were praying, too.  I really appreciate it.

Please continue to pray that the results will be something that is not creepy and easily fixable, will you?   I am still pretty concerned about what they will find. If only my mom and uncle and aunt hadn’t had colon cancer, I wouldn’t be concerned at all, just wondering what it is that’s making my tummy feel so tender and sore. With all the memories of caring for them through their cancers, that adds a real life “Fear Factor” that I just can’t get off my mind.

Some of you have asked what exactly it feels like. The best way I can describe it is that it feels like I have a canker sore in my lower abdomen that moves around to different locations and tries to gnaw at me. It started the day I used hand weights while riding my Dad's stationary bike, and the next day my lower back hurt pretty badly.  Then by the next day the pain had wrapped around into my side, and yet another day went by and it hurt in my lower tummy.  Then the back and side cleared up, but the tummy part stayed. It is inside though, and not in the muscle, so the dr. thinks that it was a coincidence that it happened when I exercised, and not really related. 

I did indulge in one of my Mother’s Day Godiva chocolates that my ds from Mississippi had shipped to me, at the time that I had to cut off my food and drink for the day.  You know, kind of like a death row inmates last meal???  LOL   But I was good and only had one piece. Aren’t you proud of me???  LOL

BJ was a very bad boy.  He didn’t let me know how sick he was, because he was afraid they would send him home before the week was up at camp at noon today and he wouldn’t get his full paycheck.  So he has a severe case of bronchitis, and is coughing so badly that it gags him and makes him vomit.  The dr said another day or two and it would have been pneumonia instead of bronchitis.  So he is in bed with a Z-pack of antibiotics and a strong codeine cough medicine/expectorant, and tons of motrin and Tylenol to get his fever down.   He’s a pretty sick boy.  If he wasn’t so sick, I would have gotten much more upset with him for not letting me know sooner, but I think he has learned his lesson the hard way.  He feels miserable.  And we were going to go camping this weekend…

My dad with his lung cancer and heart troubles is the healthiest one of the bunch right now.  I wish I had his immune system!

Love to all, and again, thanks for your continued prayers. 

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

This time it was me who had to see the doctor, and I came away with an appointment to have several tests done, including a CT Scan.  I've had a pain in my lower left abdomen for a couple weeks that just feels like a gnawing ache most of the time, but sometimes is actually painful.  When the doctor pushed on it, it was most definitely painful!!!  OUCH!!!  

Please pray for me as I have this done at 2 tomorrow, and as I wait for the results.  Being surrounded by cancer all the time of course makes that my first thought, which I know is just plain stupid, but it is hard not to think that way.  Especially with my mom and her brother having had colon cancer.... 

As many of you know, I also have panic/anxiety disorder, and the thought of being closed in that CT Scan machine creeps me out, too.  That's as scary as worrying about what is wrong with me.  So I'd appreciate prayers about that, too. 

For those of you who are family and friends, I haven't told my dad about this, and I'd really just as soon he doesn't know.  He certainly doesn't need one more thing to worry about.  So pretty please don't tell anyone but the Lord about this if you live in my neck of the woods :-) 

Now, about Dad!!!!  The lung specialist we saw Tuesday called him today, supposedly to set up a PET Scan to see how far the new cancer has spread or if it is clearing up.  Instead, he said that they are finding no sign of cancer at all in the previous tests, and he sees absolutely no reason to have a PET Scan.  He believes that Dad is cancer free again!!!   He is to keep taking the Tarceva to prevent a recurrence, so we still need prayers that the bad rash that is a side effect of this drug will subside and give him some relief, but it looks like the cancer is under control again.  Do you know how good that was to hear???  Rarely does a recurrence clear up!  So either there was not a recurrence at all, and it was only an infection known as BOOPS (Bronchioli Originating Obliterative Pneumonitis) which sometimes is chronic after radiation for lung cancer.  How it affected the other lung, I'm not sure, but I am so happy about this.  Or it really was a recurrence, and the chemo pill has gotten rid of it!  Either way, it is a Praise the Lord situation.  Now we need to concentrate on keeping his heart condition under control. 

Now, if we can only find out some good news about me in a few days.  They won't be able to call me with the results until probably sometime Tuesday due to the holiday weekend.  I will start a new habit of biting my nails before then!!! 

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

I hope and pray that I am able to get back to blogging again.  Even with the computer fixed, I was away so much this week that there was little to no time to blog.  I spent most of tonight catching up on things that should have been posted long ago on the Blubber Blogger Blog, so will only have time for a short update here. 

 

Thanks again to everyone for all the prayers and emails of support.  I appreciate knowing that so very many people care about the trials our family has been going through lately.  They just seem to never end.  I know that there must be an important lesson in all of this that the Lord wants me to learn, that I just "haven't gotten" yet, and I wish I would learn it real quick, so that life will settle down a bit!  

 

Dad is doing pretty well, although the new oral chemo has him all broken out in a very irritating rash that is driving him bonkers.  The flip side of this is that the oncologist says that those who have the rash the worst are heavily correlated with tumor shrinkage, so that is a positive.  Dad's blood thinning meds have his pro-time up to 2.9, and it has to stay there for at least 2 weeks before they will do the TEE and cardioversion.  He is so concerned about this, because the last time he was on blood thinning meds, he ended up in the hospital several times for heavy bleeding, and once required transfusions.  So this is obviously something we would like to request prayer for.  He HAS to stay on this dosage in order to try to get his heart back in proper rhythm, so we really need God's help in this. 

My mother-in-law had her first chemo a week ago, and is still doing very well.  The new lump they found is supposedly scar tissue from the surgery, but they will be keeping an eye on it just in case.  She got to drive her car for the first time since the mastectomy a couple days ago, and boy, was she happy about that! 

 

Yesterday I went with my dad to the doctor for some tests, and then we went to Columbus to visit his sister, my Aunt Mary, who had her colon cancer surgery on Thursday.  She did exceptionally well with the surgery for being 88 years old, and jokingly told us that she should have this done more often, just to get all the compliments she has been getting about not looking her age :-)   The doctors feel that they have gotten all the cancer out, and that the tumor was not attached to anything else, and that there was no lymph involvement, so she will not need any follow-up treatment.  This is a real praise, because she is dealing with leukemia, and the chemo would have wreaked havoc with her blood counts and aggrevated that leukemia. 

 

Dad and I ate at Damon's on the way home.  It was yummy, but my fellow Blubber Bloggers will not think well of me if I tell them how many ribs I ate!  I ate like a good girl today to make up for it, though.  Dad and I have gotten to share some special times with all these doctor visits, and I am glad for that. 

 

A dear family friend, and a cousin of my grandma's, passed away this week, and we had to go to the funeral home yesterday.  That was hard, as she was the same age as my mom and dad.  On the way there, we drove by my childhood home, and guess what??? It wasn't there!!!  The new owners had apparently decided that it was beyond repair, and had burned it to the ground.  My dad and I were in total shock about this, and both had to shed a few tears.  We had some very happy times in that house, and felt badly that the new owner hadn't let us in to see it and say good-bye, and take a few momentoes, as he said he would do if they decided to tear it down.  It was hard to see my childhood home a heap of smoldering ashes.  I did take a few bricks from the fireplace that I used to hang my stocking on back home as a momento, and the charred front door knob.  I hope that it will clean up a bit....

 

We also stopped at my dd's shop to visits her and all the doggies.  It was on the way home from the hospital that my aunt is in.  My other dd is apprenticing under her sister to learn to groom, too, so she was also there, along with my new "great-grandpuppy."  My granddaughter got a beautiful Golden Retriever pup for her 8th birthday, and Daisy was there at work playing under the grooming table.  She is adorable!!!  While there, I found out that Chelle's top groomer quit the other day.  This is TERRIBLE timing to find out that our best groomer has quit, as we had all the scheduling set up so Chelle could be home when her boys come to stay permanently June 16th.  Now we have to start from scratch trying to figure out how to keep her home most of the time.  I can't believe this girl would do this on such short notice.  She has been with us since before Chelle went into the hospital for bedrest, and has been our right arm, and so very dependable.  It just was not nice to up and quit with hardly any notice when she knows what all is going on.  Very, very rude and inconsiderate, and I would have thought better of her than that.  

 

Another thing that I just found out yesterday is that my son-in-law Doug's dad, who he just reunited with after nearly 30 years of not knowing whether he was dead or alive, is in ICU in South Carolina, dying of kidney and liver failure.  Doug has been a different person since finding his dad again, and finding out that he had not been abandoned as a child as he had been told, and NovaLynn adores her new Grandpa.  I am just sick to think that Doug could lose his dad right after finding him again.  The doctors told Doug after he got to SC that there is only about a 5% chance that his dad will live.  Please pray for him.  I know that God can make good come out of this, and that if He chooses to, He can spare his life.   Doug needs more time with his dad, and I hope that God will intervene and let him live.  It's a long story, but Doug really needs his dad in his life, and has been so happy and "different" since finding him again.  I wish that I could make this all better for him.  He is a good son-in-law, and it breaks my heart to know how badly this is hurting him. 

 

Well, tomorrow is Mother's Day, and my dd Chelle is getting a GREAT Mother's Day gift....her 2 new sons will be coming to visit!  Isn't that cool???  They will be here tomorrow through Wed., then go back to finish school, then Josh and Chelle will be driving out to bring them home for good on June 16th...just a few short weeks away!  There will be a BBQ on Tuesday evening when I'll get to meet Ronald and Thomas for the first time.  I can't wait!!!  

 

Love to all, and thanks again for your continued prayers,

Kathy

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

I can't believe that I have been away from my home on the blog for so long!  You have all probably thought that I have dropped off the face of the earth.  You don't know how close you are.  I was without my COMPUTER for over a week!!!  How does one live without their computer in this day and age???  LOL

My son had to take my computer all apart, scan for viruses, back every single thing up to his own computer, and then gradually put all of mine back together again, including reformatting the hard drive...  You see, we got a phone call from our ISP owner one night telling us that our computer was setting off alarms in his office---it had picked up a virus! 

 

I am so lucky to have a son that could take care of this for me so that I didn't have to spend an arm and a leg paying to have it fixed by a pro.  BJ really knows how to tear a computer apart and scare his poor mom to death looking at her computer "guts" laying all over the place, but he has it working again. 

 

Right now I am at my dd's shop, and just wanted to let you all know that I am alive and well.  Although poor BJ still has lots of document files and photo files, etc. to transfer back onto my computer, my email and my internet access are back again.  Thank God! 

 

I'll post more later when I'm not at work.  The family is doing pretty well all things considered.  My new grandsons will be coming for another visit over Mothers Day weekend, and I will get to meet them for sure this trip!!!  They will come permanently June 16.

 

Blubber Bloggers is increasing in numbers all the time...we are up to 50 members!  Check out the BBBlog if you are needing support in weight loss/fitness, because these ladies are such a wonderful support, and several have been a godsend helping me out while I had no computer access. 

 

Till later...Kathy

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

I want to thank each and everyone of you who has been praying for my Dad and my Mom-in-law.  I have some better news to report today, thank God! 

 

My mom-in-law went to find out about the new lump that was found in her other breast, and they think that it is just scar tissue from the surgery!  I don't know how scar tissue can be in this area from the surgery, but that is what they believe it is.  She can now start her chemo, radiation, and herceptin, and will go back to have this other lump looked at again in a month.  They were so sure that this is what it is that they held off on doing a biopsy.  She is still really scared and concerned about the chemo treatments that will start on Thursday next week, so continue to hold her up in prayer. 

 

The doctors have FINALLY decided what to do with my Dad's course of treatment.  They agreed that it was ok to put him on the Coumadin, a blood thinner, and then after a couple weeks, they will do a Trans-Esophageal Echo,  and if that shows no clots behind his heart valves, they will do a cardioversion to shock his heart back into proper rhythm.  We're a bit nervous, because this is not without risks, but the atrial fibrillation, in his case, causes a really high risk of stroke from clots behind the heart valve possibly forming, since he can't be on blood thinners for long periods of time.  The last time we had him on Coumadin, he had nose bleeds bad enough that we had to take him to the ER, and also had a terrible flare up of diverticulitis that bled profusely, causding a stay in ICU and blood transfusions.  So please pray that they are able to adjust the dosages properly to allow for the cardioversion, and yet not cause any excessive bleeding.  He also started taking the oral chemo drug, Tarceva, today for the spots in his other lung.  We are praying that this will stop the progression of the lung cancer dead in its tracks, and if it is the Lord's will, even cause it to completely go away. 

 

We are so happy that both of our parents are now able to start the treatment protocols that are necessary, and not have to fool around waiting to figure out what to do anymore.  Cancer patients do so much better once they finally are able to DO something about things, instead of sitting around waiting for doctors to decide what to do.  It helps take the fear away when you know that you are finally doing something.  And we are also hoping and praying that they will be able to get Dad's heart back in proper rhythm. 

 

Aunt Ginny is doing well back at home, although she is hating having to use the walker all the time.   Aunt Mary had her oncology consultation today to decide whether, at the age of 87, she can hold up well for surgery on her colon cancer.  I should hear tomorrow what she found out, and the dates of the surgery.  I am nearly certain that they will do the surgery, because she, like my dad, is in incredible shape for her age. 

 

Thanks for joining in prayer with me about our loved ones. 

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

  I finally got my darling son to get some pictures off my camera that I had been wanting to post here on my blog. This is one that was taken at BJ's Eagle Banquet back in February. You can see that my "baby" is truly a grown up now!  That's Mike and me on the right playing the role of proud Mom and Dad.

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

Today my youngest, my baby, turned 18 years old.  How can that even be possible?  How can I now be the mother of no children, and instead the mother of only other adults?  When all those people told me to enjoy them while they were young because the time would go so quickly, they did not tell me HOW quickly!  Whoosh, and it's gone...

 

What an exciting day it was when I found out that I was unexpectedly expecting again.  My older children were 13, 11, and 7, and I had thought our family was complete.  But then came the dog bite...believe it or not, BJ was the result of a dog bite.  Yep, still don't know quite the science of it all, but I know for a fact he was conceived on the day a friendly collie bit my foot, which resulted in 6 weeks on crutches with infection reaching up to my hip.  Don't laugh, it's true! 

 

When what I thought was a tummy ache from the antibiotics became worse instead of better, and persisted even when I went off the antibiotics, I went to my friendly doctor who informed me that this was not your usual reaction to either a dog bite or to the antibiotics---I was pregnant!!!  I did a happy dance, avoiding my bad leg, all the way home. 

 

Mike and I sat the other three children down after supper that night, and told them that I was going to have a baby.  Since they had all longed for another for many years, I had thought their reaction would be a bit different from what happened next.  They all looked at each other, then at us, back at each other, and then they all dissolved in mass hysteria.  They LAUGHED!!!  Just like Sarai of old, they laughed in disbelief. 

 

This later turned into excitement for the younger two, Chelle and Josh, and embarrassment for my oldest, Jen.  Seems that it simply was not cool for a junior high cheerleader to have a mom who was pregnant.  She didn't want me near her the entire time.  No one else's mom was pregnant, so it made her feel awkward and different.  I think this goes back to the 1.7 kids per family that is the "norm" these days.  How sad that others made her feel this way just because we were being blessed with another blessing!

 

Chelle was the next to fall off the "I'm excited to have a new baby" wagon.  You see, her birthday was on April 19th, four days before BJ's.  Since that was a school day, we had a huge birthday party planned for the following Saturday.  It was three weeks before my due date, so this was a safe day to have the party, right?  Wrong...  Friday night I went to bed with a terribly upset tummy.  It was something I ate for supper, I was sure.  Never having been in labor for even one labor pain before, I had no clue that I was in labor when I went to bed that night, but around 2:30 in the morning it became very clear that this was not bad meat, it was the baby deciding to come early, just like the others had done.  Should've known it...

 

So Chelle's wonderful party was put on hold.  Grandma had to call all the little girls and cancel till a couple weeks later when I was home and well enough after the c-section to have the party.  That party never came, because of complications from the delivery.  I don't think poor Chelle has forgiven poor BJ about that never-to-be-had birthday party to this very day, as she still brings it up to him 18 years later. 

 

That left one child still excited about the new baby, big brother Josh, who had thought that he was going to be my baby forever.  The afternoon after BJ was born, my parents brought the kids to the hospital to meet their new baby brother.  Josh was in first grade at the time, and the "in thing" was to have a spiked haircut.  Mike and I wouldn't let Josh have his hair done like that, and we were about to find out that he was more upset about that decision than we had thought.  BJ was born with a naturally spiked hairdo---long hair that was full of static and stood straight up on end.  The first thing Josh said when he looked at his new baby brother was, "You wouldn't let me have a spike!  How come did you let HIM!!!"   Everyone died laughing because he was dead serious about it.  He thought we had "let" the baby have his hair that way...lol. 

 

Poor little BJ...everyone had reason now not to want the new baby around.  But once they held him in their arms, he was a keeper.  It was instant love from all of them, and everything else was forgotten.  Jen loved to show her baby brother off at track meets that spring to anyone who would look, Chelle agreed that having BJ was a better birthday present than a party, and Josh loved brushing that spiked up hair down into some sort of respectable looking hair style. 

 

Due to complications from the spinal anesthetic, I developed a serious frozen bowel problem that kept me in the hospital for nearly 2 weeks after BJ's birth.  I had machines and tubes in every orifice of my body other than my eyes and ears, and if they had had something to stick there, they probably would have.  It hurt SO BAD!!!  So bad, that I forgot all about my 18 inch emergency c-section incision.  The doctor asked me if I wanted pain pills when I went home, and I asked him what for.  Couldn't believe that something could hurt that bad...

 

Now that adorable, precious little baby boy that came unexpectedly into our lives, but was treasured from the first minute I knew about him, is an adult.  My baby boy is 6'2" tall, and is a handsome young man.  I am so very, very proud of him, and know that he is ready to take on the world.  But how this mommy would love to have him back in her arms to nurse and rock to sleep just one more time...

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

Most of you know that yesterday my mother-in-law had her first appointment with the oncologist since her mastectomy.  She is healing nicely, and has only one drainage tube left to come out, and is starting to get her strength back slowly but surely.  Now all that was left was to see what follow-up treatment was necessary. 

Seems that there was lots of information that Mike and I didn't know.  I'm so glad that we went to this consult with her, or we probably still wouldn't really know what's going on.  Seems that there were actually 2 tumors in her breast, and not just one.  The primary tumor was about 4 cm. and the secondary one was about 1 cm.  The size of the tumors, combined with really close margins with the chest wall, meant that she has a 60% chance of recurrence within 5 years. 

This was not what we had thought we would hear, as we didn't even know that there had been 2 tumors.  The doctor recommended that she have 6 chemo treatments 3 weeks apart, followed by a combination of radiation daily for 6 weeks and IV herceptin every 3 weeks for a year.  Herceptin is a new drug that attaches to the her2neu growth promotors on the cancer cells, and keeps the cancer cells from growing and reproducing. 

 

Soooo, we have that all set up, and the doctor just wanted to check her incision and be sure things are healing, so she asked us all to step out into the waiting room.  Just a few minutes later, she comes to the door and says, "You need to come back in afterall.  Something else has come up that we need to talk about." 

Can you believe that she found another lump in my mom-in-law's other breast???  It is 1 cm. and near the midline, very close to where the secondary tumor was.  She recommended an immediate biopsy to see if it is another cancer or just a fatty cell cyst or a hemotoma.  You should have seen everyone's face drop when she told us this latest news.  Now we have to hold off on the treatments until we see what this new lump is all about.  My mil is scared to death this will mean another mastectomy right after she got done with the first one....I just can't believe this and am in a bit of shock to say the least.

 

While there, I asked Dr. Cole about my dad's visit to the cardiologist and wondered if they had talked together yet and decided what was the best thing to do for his situation.  She ok'd the Coumadin, and said that getting Dad's heart back in rhythm was the main concern from her point of view, and that there was no immediate rush to deal with the new spots on Dad's "good" lung---that there is time to deal with that. 

So it looks like we'll be doing more tests on Dad next week to make sure there are not clots behind his heart valves already.  They will do a trans-esophageal something-or-other to view the heart from the back side, and see clearly if there are clots.  If none are there, then they will give an electric shock to his heart, and that should put it back in a regular rhythm, and hopefully we won't have to worry about clots, strokes, and weakness from the a-fib pattern again!  Then on to deal with the spots on his other lung...

 

I scared my dh's aunt to death yesterday.  I emailed all of dh's brothers and sisters to let them know about the doctor visit, and also her sister.  So many had been asking about how my dad was, that I added a part on the end about his cancer and his heart trouble.  Apparently Aunt Kathleen didn't read it carefully enough, because she thought I meant dh's dad and not mine.  She called up all the other aunts and uncles to tell them my fil had cancer and heart trouble, before finding out that my fil was fit as a fiddle and ornery as ever.  Oh, my...

 

I can't wait to get Dad's heart back in rhythm and have at least one problem out of the way. 

 

Please pray that my mil's new lump will not turn out to be more cancer, and also that there will not be any clots found around my dad's heart valves.  Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement! 

 

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

Dad has had several days of doctors' appointments this week, and yet another one tomorrow.  Tomorrow's is at nearly the exact same time as Mike's mother's appointment with the oncologist.  So tomorrow should be interesting...

 

We found out this week that Dad's mitral valve has a moderate leakage, that his heart is still beating in a atrial fibrillation pattern, and that they just really don't know for sure what to do about it.  He needs to be on Coumadin, a blood thinner, but has had problems with that before, and ended up in the hospital due to heavy bleeding.  However, if he doesn't take it, there is a risk of stroke from blood clots that form behind the heart valves while he is in a-fib.  They could shock the heart back into proper rhythm, but this would also require the use of the Coumadin for around 6 weeks. 

 

This is all complicated by the fact that he needs to go on a newly released oral chemo drug, Tarceva, for his lung cancer, which has come back in his "good" lung.  The doctors don't seem to know how taking that will affect the protocol they would normally use for his heart.  And vice-versa, how taking care of the heart before the cancer will affect the treatment of his cancer.  It's a catch-22 situation.  You can't fix one problem because it will adversely affect the other. So he has 2 fixable things, and yet they can't be fixed...  

 

Please pray that somehow they will sort this all out.  The cardiologist put him on a 24 hour halter monitor today, which they will scan this weekend. Then he will be talking with the oncologist and they will try to decide what the best thing to do will be.  I know that I need to leave this in God's hands, but it is so hard!  

Mike's mom is recovering nicely from the full mastectomy, and has had one drain taken out, one still to go.  Tomorrow the oncologist (the same one my dad sees) will tell her what she recommends for follow-up treatment. Since the tumor was so large, and closer to the bone than they thought, they need to do either chemo, radiation, or a combination of both.  I guess we'll find out which tomorrow. 

 

My Aunt Ginny is back in her own home now, and although she now has to do all of her walking with a walker, she is glad to be in her own home, and not in the nursing home anymore.  Her little dog Lucy was glad to see her back!   Aunt Mary will be seeing her oncologist on the 27th to decide whether to have the surgery for her colon cancer or not, and what follow-up treatment will be necessary.  

 

I'm glad that they are all doing as well as can be expected, and also that they all seem to be coping with all of this much better than I am doing.  It is so very, very hard to see everyone that I have loved growing old, and knowing that one day soon I will be without them.  It is even harder to make myself realize that I will soon be the older generation in my family...what a hard concept to grasp... 

 

I think there is a part of me that wants to be a little girl again, and be the one who is taken care of, instead of the one who is taking care of.  I want my mom back to take care of me, and Dad to be young and strong and healthy again, just like he was just a year ago.  And how wonderful it would be to see my aunts running up my front steps to visit, (and to help clean house!) the way they used to do. 

 

Reminds me of "Our Town," when Emily is in the cemetery, and is talking about how people don't appreciate life when they have it.  She says, "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?--every, every minute?"   There was so much I took for granted that now is gone, never to return.  How I wish that I had "realized life" more when I had all these dear people running in and out all the time...   I'd give anything to have it all to do over again...

 

 

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

I really have not been a "TV person" for years, but with Mike working this weird shift, and BJ off to Scout functions nearly every night, I have to admit that I am getting hooked on a few shows this year.  I started watching 24 and House last year when Chelle was in the hospital, as those were shows that she watched all the time, and I am an American Idol fan.  It reminds me of when the older kids were in show choir competitions and sang in fall and spring cabarets.   Chelle was also in Children of the Light, an incredible musical group sponsored by Youth for Christ in our area of the state.  So American Idol reminds me of the "good old days" when I got to hear lots of great music.

But those 3 shows didn't fill up the long, lonely evenings.  So I have been "trying out" some new programs.  Just last night I discovered "Shalom in the Home."  Wow!  It was so good, and the rabbi had some great ideas.  I realized that he was the same rabbi who wrote the column about the prejudice against large families and lots of children, which has been circulating through blogdom this week.  What a wise man he is!  If you haven't checked out this program, you really should. 

I must be a reality tv junkie now....SuperNanny and Nanny 911 are also great programs most of the time, and they have such common sense advice for the parents they work with.  I don't understand how those parents let things get so out of control to start with.  How did they let the children become the rulers of the home instead of the parents???  

 

Jay Sekulow has a program on one of the religious broadcasting networks.  The American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ) is just the thing to counter-attack the damage done to our society by the ACLU.  His show is always an eye-opener. 

 

InJustice is a new law show that I am enjoying.  Each week the group of lawyers works to get an innocent person out of prison.  It starts out by showing you "what the jury thought" happened, then, as the show goes on, you find out what really happened. 

And then there is Invasion and Battlestar Galactica.  I am a sci-fi fan, and love these shows.  Must admit that I am a bit disappointed that the new Battlestar has so much focus on sex, but I fast forward through those scenes.  Gotta love TiVo!  Too bad it won't be on again until fall.  Invasion will be back again next week, and I am dying to see what will happen next.  I just think I have that show figured out, and then it takes another twist. 

 

There was a special on TLC about the Duggar family---speaking of large families :-)   I met this family at a homeschool convention several years ago, and I was amazed at how these parents run that family...just like a well-oiled machine!   I have seen parents with 2 or 3 children who didn't handle their children nearly as well as the Duggars do.  The most recent special shows them moving into the new home they have been building, along with the 16 kids.  Dad Duggar mentions at the end of the show, when they are shown their new bedroom, that maybe there will be baby 17, now that they can have some peace, quiet, and solitude.  It was wonderful to see that TLC handled this topic of a large family with respect!  

 

I have not seen the program yet, but as a faithful Blubber Blogger, I have set the TiVo to record "Honey, We're Killing the Kids."  It is a reality show that shows how eating poorly and weight issues are taught in the home, and how to retrain the entire family to a new lifestyle of healthy eating.  This should be a good one. 

 

Well, now that I look at this list, I realize that maybe I am letting myself watch too much TV???  

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

At this time 29 years ago, I was in the University Hospital in Columbus following yet another emergency C-Section due to PROM (premature rupture of membranes).   The afternoon before, my water broke, and my dad rushed me to the local hospital.  This was the day after my regular check-up at which my doctor told me “Don’t worry about me being on vacation this week.  There’s no chance you will deliver while I’m gone.”  Famous last words before he took off and left me…

 

Dad left me at the hospital and went to work at the factory in the same town, thinking he would stop back and check on me after work.  My mom and I were frantically trying to track down my hubby, as he was on the road training with the phone company.  He got to the hospital just as the “fill in” doctor had decided that the baby was only 3 pounds, and that our local hospital couldn’t care for one that small and early.  So off in the ambulance we went at around 11 o’clock that night, right before my poor Dad got to the hospital only to find me not there.  What a scare we gave him!  

 

On the way to the big city, our local ambulance driver got lost, and had to stop and ask for directions at gas stations along the way.  People stared in the side windows at me and I felt like I was on exhibit.  It was scary, because with my first pregnancy I had had an emergency C-Section, and was told that I could never have a ******l birth.  What if I went into labor in the ambulance?  They couldn’t do a C-Section there!  And around and around the city they went, trying to find University Hospital.  Thank God that we got there in time!  Good thing He was taking care of me and my baby, cause the ambulance drivers sure weren’t doing such a great job.

 

At the hospital, I was once again on exhibit, due to some strange anatomy problems, and due to the fact that this was a teaching hospital.  Every intern and resident had to get a chance to view my insides.  How embarrassing!   Then I was rushed into surgery, and Mike and the interns and the residents all viewed the surgery from the “observation deck” up above.  At this hospital, I was allowed to stay awake, and got to see my little girl as soon as she was born.  This was back in the Dark Ages when many hospitals didn’t allow husbands to be in the room or the mom to be awake.  And obviously in the days when ultrasounds were not what they are today, because my 3-pounder turned out to be a 6-pounder.  Even though she was 3 weeks early, she was perfect, other than the fact that her fingernails had not grown in hardly at all yet.  That was the only sign of being early. 

 

Today my beautiful second darling daughter is celebrating her 29^th birthday.  I simply can’t believe where the time has gone.  I remember so very well turning 29 myself, and it was a traumatic experience for me.  I thought that being that close to 30 was just awful, and thought I was soooo old!  Now my baby girl is that age, and has had a daughter of her own, my sweet little Ellora Faye, and will be having her new sons with her in just a few weeks. 

Happy Birthday, Chelle!  Mommy loves you and is very proud of what you are doing with your life! 

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

Many years ago, when my husband and I were expecting our first child, we made a decision.  This decision was not a popular one with our family and friends, and still is not popular with them today.  But it was a choice that we felt God had led us to, and never once in all these years have we felt that He was calling us away from this lifestyle.  We have been ridiculed and looked down on, misunderstood and thought to be misguided, and thought by many to be lazy and stupid.  What decision could possibly be so unpopular?  The decision to be a full-time all-the-way-through-life stay-at-home wife and mother. 

 

As an older and much more mature woman now, at the age of 52, this decision is still very much a part of my life, and I still am finding it to be a very unpopular choice of lifestyle.  Yet I am also finding out that this choice is all the more important to us at this point in our lives.  The traditional role of the mother as caretaker of the children and family was God-ordained for a reason, and even though it is now a politically incorrect lifestyle, it is just as important today as it ever was, and perhaps even more so.  My high-school-aged son needs me as much as he did when he was a grade-schooler, perhaps more so, and I find that most folks just plain don’t understand. 

 

As a young wife and mother, being a stay-at-home wife and mother meant being here for my children when they needed me.  I was the one who saw them take their first steps and heard them speak their first words.  I was there with them through every illness and through every problem that the older children faced at public school.  When other parents didn’t have the time, I was there for their children as well as my own, and many of those children called me “Mom,” including my oldest daughter’s entire cross-country team.  I found that no matter how much “quality time” these children’s parents spent with them, it was the “quantity time” that the kids really craved.  They wanted a mom and dad who would be there, and for most of them, I was the one who was there. 

 

When I became a homeschool mom, after finding out that such a glorious choice existed, I was truly at home with my younger children in ways that I was not able to be for my older ones.  It was exciting to be able to direct their learning, and see them learn in their own way and at their own pace, guided by their own interests, and, yes, to even learn new things right alongside them.  How I wish I had been enlightened by someone to the delights of homeschooling in time to have lived this lifestyle of learning with my older children.  Yet, in looking back, I realize that I was there for them so very much more than most parents ever dream of.  And not only for them, but also for their friends who longed to have a parent there for them at school and at special events. 

 

My youngest is now nearly ready to graduate and leave home, and all of my older children are married, two with children of their own.  That has led to the inevitable question by family and friends---“Are you going back to work, now that the kids are all grown?”  Truthfully, this question rarely ceased to be heard throughout the years, as being grown meant, to most, of school age.  As the only stay-at-home mom in my extended family, and for that matter, in my entire neighborhood, I have watched “everyone else” achieve a lifestyle that our family cannot come close to.  While they have glamorous homes, cars, clothing, and vacations, I sit in a home that we can’t afford to repair, drive dilapidated old cars, rarely buy a new outfit, and can’t remember when we last went on a vacation.  Should I go back to work so that now that I am middle-aged, I can finally achieve this same lifestyle that they feel I covet? 

 

My answer?  No, I am AT work!  This is where God wants and needs me to be even at this point in my life.  Now, instead of a stay-at-home wife and mother, I am switching roles a bit.  I am now a stay-at-home daughter, grandmother, daughter-in-law, and niece.  Even though I am the oldest in my family, I am not the oldest generation---at least not yet, though that is creeping up on me more quickly than I would like.  Those who are left in the older generation---my dad, mom-in-law, and aunts---need me now, and will need me even more as the days go on.

 

What has happened to our society?  Why has letting others care for our beloved parents, in-laws, and other older relatives become the norm?  Just a couple generations ago, when nearly ALL women were stay-at-home wives and mothers, this was not the case.  These women lovingly took the older relatives into their own homes, or at the very least, dropped in on a daily basis, and cared for them.  Not caring for your own was unthinkable, and definitely not the politically correct thing to do in those days.  If we look at the Amish in today’s society, we see the last vestiges of a day gone by, when our elderly family members were still allowed to be an active part of the family, and were honored and cared for because of their respected place in the family. 

 

Homeschooling stay-at-home moms are in a position to help bring back this type of dignity and lifestyle to the aging members of our own families.  Just when our children are nearing the end of their school years, or have actually gone out on their own to begin their own life, our older family members are beginning to need our care.  Once again we are faced with a decision---do we continue to abandon career and extra income to care for those who need us?  The question is the same one that we answered years ago when our children were young, but now it pertains to another generation and another set of needs.  Yet is it not the same calling, that of caring for our family?  

 

Scripturally, we are taught to respect and care for our parents and our elders.  In Bible times, as well as in former times in our own country and culture, this was the norm, the thing to do.  You were looked down on and shunned if you did not give these revered members of your family the respect and care they needed and deserved.  They were not carted off to the “Jerusalem Home for the Aged” or the “Old Folks Little House on the Edge of the Prairie.”  No, they were cared for at home by the same wives and mothers whose career had been keeping their homes, raising their children, oftentimes teaching their children, and being a helpmeet for their husbands.  Their career now expanded to include caring for their parents and in-laws, and helping with the grandchildren. 

 

Will this be a popular choice?  Of course not.  The right choice rarely is.  I have already heard questions that remind me so much of the familiar questions I heard so often when homeschooling:  What about socialization?  Can’t the schools do a better job?  What makes you think YOU are able to do what a “real” teacher can do?  Only now the questions are:  Wouldn’t your Dad be better off in a place with people his own age, so he can have friends “to play with”?  Can’t a nursing home do a better job of caring for your relatives?  What makes you think that YOU are capable of helping your aunt with physical therapy and monitoring her sugar levels?  Doesn’t it sound all too familiar? 

 

The beauty of growing old, to me, is being able to be there when I am needed by those who love me, and whom I love in return, be it children, grandchildren, or older relatives.  The joy of growing old is the joy of knowing that I can personally hold hands, listen, care for, and BE THERE WHEN THEY NEED ME for those in each generation whose lives have touched my own.  I hope and pray that there will be some in the next generation who will do the same for me…

 

“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”  I Timothy 5:8

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

  This is a picture of Dad and Aunt Ginny, his sister.  They are both staying temporarily at the nursing home/retirement community that my sister is DON (Director of Nursing) at.  It is HUGE!!!  They are having fun getting to see each other so often, and my dad is pretty helpful in getting Aunt Ginny to do her physical therapy.  He gets through his with flying colors, and is done in no time.  We think that he will get to come home on Monday.  Tonight Mike and I, along with my brother and sisters families, took him out to eat at a favorite restaurant in town.  Then Mike and I went back to the home with Dad and his girlfriend Millie, and we played euchre.  The men won, as always , but only by one hand at the end of the game, so Millie and I made it close!    Aunt Ginny is having lots of trouble with leg strength and balance, and can't walk well.  Part of it is due to diabetic neuropathy, and part just because she isn't moving around enough anymore.  They are also trying to get her blood sugar regulated.    Dad is being monitored for atrial fibrillation and blood pressure after his episode at home last Thursday that led to his hospital stay in the unit.  Dad is also battling lung cancer.  The original lung is showing all clear on the current PET Scan a couple weeks ago, but the other lung is now showing a couple spots.  

---

    This is my mother-in-law, the very next day after a full mastectomy.  Doesn't she look GREAT????  She got to come home already the day after surgery!  We were amazed at how good she looked, and how perky she was.  She wasn't even in much pain.  The little pillow under her arm has to be her companion for the next two weeks to remind her not to do anything at all with her left arm.  She will be needing follow up treatment as well as physical therapy for her arm.    I hope this has helped give faces to the people in my family that you have been praying for.  I don't have one scanned into my flickr account for Aunt Mary and my sister-in-law Holly yet. Aunt Mary is going to have chemo and radiation to shrink the colon cancer tumor before removing it.  Holly had her pathology reports of the surrounding tissue come back clean after the removal of her squamous cell cancer that was removed from behind her ear, so we hope that is the end of that story!    Please continue to pray for all of my wonderful family.    If you would like, you can even pray for the dog, Eddie Haskell.  He ran off tonight after we got home, and Mike is still out trying to find him.  We got home around 11:30, and he never came back from going to the bathroom.  So Mike is out hunting through the woods, up and down the roads, and still hasn't found Eddie.  I'm so worried that he has gotten run over, or attacked by coyotes.  Don't know what we'd do without that dog!  BJ is in Boston now with family friends, and would kill us all if something happened to his dog while he was away.   

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

My baby (who I might add will be 18 in less than 3 weeks) will be leaving his momma early tomorrow morning, hopping on a plane, and flying all the way to Boston all by his own little self.  He will have a stop over in Detroit, which is a huge, enormous city type place, and since we live in the cornfields, I was already frightened enough to have him out of the cornfields alone...but in DETROIT???  And going from allowing the boy to go from boarding a lawn tractor to a jet plane is a huge leap of faith for this poor ole mom, I'm afraid. 

 

What if he gets lost?  What if he misses his connecting flight?  What if the CITY PEOPLE scare him?  What if the friends who are picking him up in Boston don't find him?  What if I chew all my fingernails to the quick worrying about him?  What if I hear about a "bad plane happening" on the news while he is up there hanging in mid-air?  What if he gets homesick and wants his mommy or his doggie or his own blankie?  Will our friends take care of him as well as his own mommy does?  And what if I miss him so bad the next 4 days that I don't know what to do????  Huh????  Just who is going to keep me company and help to keep my mind off his being away and/or up there hanging in the sky in an AIRPLANE or wandering through the DETROIT airport without holding his mommy's hand? 

 

Oh, my, this is getting rather frightening!  Please pray that his trip will go well, and pray for this very worried mommy...

 

 

Posted in Just Our Day-to-Day Life

I just got my copy of the new issue, and excitedly turned the pages to find the article on Scouting that JayfromCleveland wrote.  The reason this is especially interesting for our family is because our son BJ has his picture in the sidebar not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES!!!  How cool is that???   Also, I must admit that I was rather excited to see my name in the article for the quotes that Jay used from me. 

 

Scouting is truly a perfect fit for homeschoolers, both educationally, socially, and it promotes such wonderful leadership skills.  And there are scholarship opportunities!!!   What more can you ask for?  Our family has loved Scouting with both of our sons.  You can read more about Scouting and hs'ing at the ScoutBlog.

 

If you are interested in checking out the pictures, BJ is a few years younger in the ones that were used for this article.  He is now 6'2", so the pictures are a shorter and younger version of my beloved son. ;-)   In the top picture, he is the boy pictured on the left front of the whitewater rafting picture, who was, btw, the only one who didn't get separated from the raft a second after that picture was snapped.  The rest of the guys all were dumped in the Yough....River in PA, but he managed to stay inside somehow.  The picture of him with the horse was taken 4 years ago when he was the youth director of the horsemanship programming area at our camp, where he has been on staff for 5 years now.  Then the guy with the goggles is BJ scuba diving at National Jamboree in 2001. 

 

There are some really, really great articles in this issue. I can't wait to have time to sit down and devour it!