Posted in Special Days
Well, ladies, I survived....whoosh!!! This year's WalkAmerica was a LONG one. It was supposed to be 5 miles, BUT at the five mile mark, where it had "the walk is ended" type signs, you were still a full mile from the building that was the registration building and in the middle of nowhere. You couldn't cut across anywhere to make the way back any shorter, so the walk was really a 6-mile walk. Then we were about 1/2 mile from the parking lot, so that made 7 miles today, at least.
I AM SO SORE!!!! The back of my calves burn, and my feet are ready to die...lol. But I did it!!! If they would have added another 2 feet to the walk a month ago, I wouldn't have made it, and I have my fellow Blubber Bloggers to thank for my improvement! THANKS!!! ((((Group hug!))))
This walk is so meaningful for me, because I know that we are raising money in my sweet Ellora's name to help other little preemie babies fight the good fight and hopefully make it home to be with their mommies and daddies. I know that she was up there rooting her poor old Granny Kathy on!
We still have about $800 to go for donations, and then WalMart will give us an additional $1000, so please pray that we can continue to put some good efforts into our fundraising until we reach our goal.
There are 3 other Walks coming up relatively near us in May, June, and July, and I signed up for them today---am I a glutton for punishment or what??? LOL Then after that I need to start working toward the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. I do that each year in memory of my mother, my uncle, and my aunt, and now this year it will also be in honor of my dad and my other aunt. Of 7 siblings on the two sides of my family tree, only 2 didn't have cancer, and my mom had 3 completely different kinds, and my Aunt Mary has 2 completely different kinds, so there are 8 cancers with the 7 members of that generation. I had BETTER walk for money for cancer research, because I think I am doomed, wouldn't you say???
Thanks to all of you for the thoughts and prayers today. I seriously don't think I would have been able to do that last mile without you all praying me in!
If anyone is interested in contributing to the March of Dimes Prematurity Awareness program, please
click here to support our family team and help us reach our goal.
Posted in Special Days
Ten years ago today I lost my mom, my best friend. It hardly seems possible that it has been ten years since I last held her hand, or spoke to her, or listened to her loving advice. How the time flies by, with each day bringing me ever closer to my own homecoming, with her and with Our Lord.
Mom's cancer had been so very hard on my dad, that he developed physical problems from the stress, and had to be admitted to the hospital on the Friday night before Mom died. That night, my sister and I spent the night with Mom at their house, so that we could take care of her. She had been very, very sick, and the palliative radiation for the back pain (her kidney cancer had spread into her spine) had backfired, leaving her paralyzed in her legs the past couple weeks.
Imagine our surprise to find Mom feeling as well as could be expected under the circumstances, and ready to party! We sat up that night giggling and talking and eating and laughing like schoolgirls at a slumber party. We commented so many times about feeling guilty that we were having so much fun while poor Daddy lie sick in the hospital. But then we would even get the giggles about that!
I think, in looking back on it, that God, in His infinite love and mercy, knew that Mom would be going home in just a couple short days, and wanted us to have one last night of beautiful memories before she left us. And we certainly have wonderful memories of that night that are still with us today. We finally each settled into bed in a different room, and started calling out silly good nights, ending with "Good night, Mary Ellen, Good Night, Jim Bob, Good Night, John Boy." (Would you believe that The Waltons was one of our favorite shows???)
I was shocked the next morning, when I woke Mom up, to find her burning up with fever, and unresponsive. An ambulance ride to the hospital, and a short visit with the oncologist once we arrived confirmed our worst fears. Mom was dying.
One last gift God gave our family was one more moment of lucidity for Mom. It came when my son BJ and his cousin gave Mom 2 yellow roses, her favorite flowers. She "woke up" from the trance she had been in, and thanked them, and hugged them and kissed them, and told them "Grandma loves you, you know." I am so glad that God allowed them to really see Mom one last time, and remember her last words that were coherent were telling them how much she loved them.
Just before dawn on Monday, Mom went home to her Lord. Her entire family was there---children, husband, in-law children, and my two sons. She struggled to stay with us, and it was only when we told her that we would be alright, that it was ok to go home to Jesus, that she final took her last breath.
I love you Mom, and I treasure the memories. Thank you for being my Mom.
This is my post from last fall when I started blogging. I post it again in honor of my Mom, and hope that you enjoy the poem that I wrote. It was her favorite one of my writings. Kathy
It is fall once again, just as it was nine years ago. My mother had fought off two forms of cancer, a blood cancer that affected her platelet count, and colon cancer. In mid-summer of that year, she was declared cancer free with the colon cancer, and was assured that the blood cancer was something that was controllable....that she would die of old age long before the cancer would cause her problems. She had also had two very dangerous eye surgeries that were risky and extremely painful, and a heart problem which had her in CCU and resulted in a pacemaker implant.
"Through it all," Mom never complained, and kept living life to its fullest. I never saw her cry or feel sorry for herself. Nor did she complain or rally against God that final fall, as the leaves fell, turning the fall to winter not only in the world around us, but also in her life. For it was then that she discovered that she had developed yet another entirely new cancer, totally unrelated to the first two cancers. The odds against that happening were astronomical. And this was kidney cancer, the "silent killer," because it normally was in stage 4 at the time of diagnosis, as it was with my mom. The entire family was in a state of shock.
I had previously written a poem that she loved. After her death in January, I tweaked the poem, so that it became "her" poem. It was read at her funeral and hangs in the church now.
It seems that many of my poems are about trees. This was originally written about an old tree in our front yard, one that my grandmother had planted with my grandfather years ago. It had been twisted inside by a tornado, and over the course of years, had struggled to survive, just as did my mother. Mom loved this poem, and it was a source of inspiration to her in her last days.
Mom, I dedicate my blog to you and to little Ellora. You both will always be a part of me. The lessons you taught me will help me to be a better person, and a better servant of our Lord. For this I will always be grateful. And many of the stories I share will include you, as so much of our homeschooling revolved around your illnesses and death. So your faith, courage, and love of life, will help countless others as they face the valleys in their own lives.
A Final Fall of Leaves
by Kathy L. Kin
Dedicated to Marjorie A. Rickenbacher 12/5/21-1/22/96
There is a tree in my front yard;
My grandmother said it is called a Heavenly Tree.
Through the years, first she, then my father,
And now my children and I have enjoyed its beauty.
Its long and fruitful life have stemmed from an inner strength,
Given by God, its Creator.
That strength has enabled the tree to weather many a storm.
A violent tornado destoyed many of its neighbors, and weakened it.
Yet my tree has fought back through each trial,
And every spring it again bursts forth with a glorious crown of leaves.
Its beauty is an inner beauty that can only have been
Given by God, its Creator.
Everything on this earth is here but for a season,
And the tree has lived through its spring and summer.
That beautiful crown of leaves grows smaller each year.
Now all nature watches as, one by one, each leaf drops from the tree.
Yet still the old tree's weary, dying branches reach ever heavenward,
Toward God, its Creator.
These last years the tree has fought and struggled to survive.
I have steadfastly refused to part with it,
To say goodbye,
Because I love it.
But now it is time....
The tree has stood through the winter;
And now I must let my tree, that beautiful Heavenly Tree, leave me.
Yet it has given me lessons in life that will continue to guide me,
Given by God, its Creator.
As with the tree, so it has been with your life, Momma.
You have been like that Heavenly Tree to me.
Your fruitful life has stemmed from an inner strength.
You have weathered many a storm, yet fought to survive.
You have taught me lessons in life that will continue to guide me.
You have inspired me through the years
With your beauty of spirit,
Your joy for life,
And your gift of giving strength, courage, hope, and faith to others.
Even through this final fall of leaves,
Your heart has reached ever heavenward
Toward God, your Creator, Whom you have served so well.
I love you, Momma.... Goodbye, until we meet again.
Copyright 1996 Kathy L. Kin
Posted in Special Days
Today was the day I have been looking forward to---the day my brother's and sister's families and my own got together at my dad's to help him decorate the tree! We do this every year, but this year was special. Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer back in March, and has had a series of pretty serious health problems crop up on top of that ever since. In the back of our minds, I know all of us wondered if we would be able to enjoy this day once again this year.
But there we all were, with Dad looking great and feeling pretty good considering all he has been through recently. He and I sat and just watched as my brother and brother-in-law did their yearly "get the tree together just right" routine. None of the rest of us, in their opinion, have any business messing with the assembly because they are the experts. It is so funny to watch them go through this yearly ritual of finding just the right codes on the branches, and fluff the branches "just right," and then even funnier to watch them add the lights. It is truly a "you have to be there" experience. You would die laughing at them, but they take it so seriously that we don't dare to chuckle at them.
After this, all the rest of us help to decorate. The old, fragile ornaments that I remember so well from my Grandma Dee-Dee's and Grandpa Bop's tree are added with loving hands and with hearts full of memories of Christmas's long ago. The huge glass ball ornament that hung on their tree was at least the size of a basketball in my childhood memory, but somehow since then has shrunk considerably, to the size of a huge apple. I wonder as I look at my niece and nephew, if they will remember it being as huge as I used to think it was. Next we hang the "cry baby" that my great-grandmother made from cutouts, foil, and garland. The bugle, the lovebird, the pipe--all those memories were hung one by one.
And, of course, "my" angel went on the very top. Dad told the little ones how he and my mom bought that for my very first Christmas, and how he held me up on his shoulders each year to place it on the tip of the huge live trees we used to have back then. My little niece, who is 4, found it hard to believe that Aunt Kathy was once young and small enough for Grandpa to life up to the tree top. She just looked at me and giggled.
After decorating, we ordered pizza, and sat and told more stories and laughed. It was good to have such an incredibly beautiful normal day after the roller coaster ride we have been on this past year. It was good to just sit and talk and laugh while eating our pizza, and having Dad yell at everyone to drink all their pop so none went to waste. I think life is a blissful normal again for awhile, and I thank God for that.
Just a couple years back, we were telling this same story, and my dad, on a whim, grabbed me and picked me up, and lifted me to put my angel on top of the tree, just as he had when I was little. I think we scared my brother and brother-in-law to death that we would destroy the tree they had taken forever to assemble. And my sister was watching with anxious eyes, worried that if the whole thing toppled, all the antique ornaments would be crushed beneath Dad and me.
It was funny, yes, but it was also a *fun* moment for me that year. For a second I could go back to my childhood, and Dad could go back to his days as a young daddy. For just a moment we could both be young again, and it was fun! I'll never forget that day, ever.
I am so thankful that the Lord has given us another year together as a family this Christmas. It was so wonderful to see everything unfolding just as it does every other year. I hope and pray that we have many more days just like this one in Christmases yet to come.
Just in case you are reading this---I LOVE YOU, DADDY!!!
Posted in Special Days
We were blessed to be able to spend the weekend at my daughter and son-in-law's home. Chelle was the musical director of the children's Christmas pageant at her church for the first time. "A Traditional Christmas Pageant" was everything that a children's pageant should be---all the old favorite carols sung in sweet, lisping voices, little ones dressed in white with angel wings and halos, shepherds dressed in bathrobes, kings with glittering crowns, and Mary, Joseph, and the Baby.
My grandmother, mother, and Chelle all attended music conservatory, and although I broke the mold and became an elementary teacher, I took music lessons all through college. Grandma was a gifted pianist, and her piano students put on a holiday program as well as their annual recital. Mom taught vocal and instrumental music, and the programs she produced at the little rural schools around here were amazing. The sets and costuming took nearly all year to make, and the quality of performance she was able to get from the children would put some large community theater groups to shame.
After retiring from the public schools, Mom made herself available to the church and produced some beautiful Children's Christmas and Easter cantatas. I still can remember the look on her face when she did her last performance, as the children presented her with a huge armful of red roses to honor her for all her years of helping them with their programs. She was truly touched, and she took such pride in watching the videos of those programs, and listening to the tapes of them.
Tomorrow is Mom's birthday, and I know that she and grandma, as part of the Heavenly Choir now, were looking down with pride as Chelle directed her first Christmas program, and became the fourth generation of our family to direct a children's Christmas musical program, the first of what I am sure will be many, as it was for the rest of us. What a fitting birthday present this made for Mom, and how proud I know she must have been. I know I was proud!
But when did my little girl become a director instead of one of the little ones performing??? Wasn't it just yesterday that she was 12 years old, and playing the part of Mary, holding her infant brother BJ who was Baby Jesus, and sweetly singing him a lullaby as part of a cantata I directed? Where does the time go?
Posted in Special Days
What fun it was to be able to spend the night at my dd Chelle's house this weekend, and watch her group of 60 children perform "A Traditional Christmas Pageant." She was the musical director for the children's Christmas program at her church. I loved watching the program, and found it hard to believe that I was sitting there watching her direct, and not watching her as a participant. Where have the years gone? And how did they go so quickly?
Just yesterday Chelle and my other daughter Jen were the children in the pageants at our church. Both girls were very musical, and always had the lead parts in any cantatas we had for the holidays. Then brother Josh came along, and loved to act. He had a great singing voice, too, so that made all three of them involved. When my oldest, Jen, was 13, along came my youngest blessing, BJ. Our church's tradition was that the youngest baby in the church would be Baby Jesus in that year's cantata, and BJ got to be Baby Jesus, while big sister Chelle was Mary, singing a beautiful lullaby to him. What wonderful memories I have of all those incredible children's pageants!
My grandmother was a music teacher, as was my mother. Chelle also attended music conservatory, so I was the only one to break the mold, and not be a music teacher, although I took lessons all through college. Chelle, as did Mom and Grandma, sings and plays the piano beautifully, and they could direct programs that were beyond belief. My mother's were like a professional children's theatrical and musical company. The sets and costuming she did were amazing, and the quality of acting and singing she was able to get from elementary school students in her school, and in later years in her church's Sunday School Choir, were something you simply wouldn't believe if you hadn't seen them. I also directed many cantatas at our church through the years, and although not quite as grand as my mother's, if I do say so myself they were pretty doggone good!
The year before my mom died, she put on her last Christmas cantata, and involved children from the entire community. It was a grand production. I remember yet the look on her face when she was presented a huge bouquet of red roses for all her years of helping with the children's performances. She loved it so very much!
Chelle is now the fourth generation in our family to carry on this tradition. Since tomorrow is my mom's birthday, I know that she was looking down in pride at her granddaughter directing the musical portion of the program tonight, and enjoying every minute of it.
