| Jenerally Speaking |
Hormonal Happenings vol. 1
Well you're a bunch of show offs aren't you! Your ideas for naming my blog entries about my job in a maternity store were all brilliant and clever. In fact the reason I have not blogged since Tuesday was that I couldn't pick one. In the end, Hormonal Happenings only won because it had two votes -lol. Good job! So let's kick off the first edition!
I was standing behind the register, bouncing a ball made of millions of rubber bands when the phone rang. (I swear all my work was caught up and working on my hand/eye coordination was really a worthwhile use of my time.)
A voice snapped at me from the other end of the line. "I am very pregnant and I am not leaving this house unless you have this pair of pants." She proceeded to describe them to me and told me she wanted a size large. I couldn't decide if I wanted to have them to help her out or to not have them because, frankly, she scared me. We had them and I offered to put them on hold. She sighed and seemed to want me to offer to personally deliver them to her house. "I'll be there when I get there," she whined into the phone.
An hour later an angry face atop a large belly walked into my store. I instinctively knew this was the Pants Lady. I smiled and greeted her pleasantly. She looked annoyed. "I just hope you know what you're doing and got the right pair of pants." I held them out anxiously, hoping she didn't notice my trembling hand. She nodded briskly in...could it be approval?
As she pulled out her wallet I asked, "Do you need to try these on?" (Let it be known -all sales are final.)
"No,' she spat out. "I tried them on at another location already and then when I went to buy them the cashier bled on them!" She waved her hand wildly in the air. "She cut her stupid hand and didn't take care of it and bled all over my pants! I wanted to strangle her!"
New plan - Become Super Checker and get this woman out of here as quickly as humanly possible. I started to ring her out. Suddenly she gasped and looked at me with loathing and malice. Her finger went up in the air and came down dramatically onto the sticker on the leg of the pants on which was clearly printed "X-Large". My heart began to race and cold droplets of sweat broke out on my forehead. I caught myself actually taking a step back, sure that she was gong to hurl her very pregnant self over the counter and kill me. I frantically grabbed the pants and pulled them open to reveal that the tag was labeled a large and the sticker was mistakenly and regrettably wrong. She visibly relaxed. I stepped back to the register and chuckled nervously. "Wow, for a minute there, I thought you were going to strangle me," I joked.
She smiled. "Oh no! I'm nice today." I uttered a silent prayer for her husband. 8:35 AM - Sep. 16, 2007 - post comment
         
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