so I thought that I would post some jokes so if your having a bad day you will laugh unless your being tough and don't want to laugh stop reading this post.... here we go...........................
There was a man that was sitting in a recliner on the 1st floor of his house. It started to flood. 1 hour later a boat came and said "c'mon get in!" The man said "no, I have faith in God...he'll save me!", so the boat left.
2 hours later he was forced to move to the 2nd floor. Another rescue boat came and said "c'mon get in". Again the man said "no, I have faith in God...he'll save me!"
3 hours later he was forced to move up on the roof. A helicopter came and said "c'mon get in". Again the man said "no, I have faith in God...he'll save me." 4 hours later he died and went to heaven and he asked St. Peter why God didn't save him. St. Peter said "He tried! He sent you 2 rescue boats and a helicopter!!!!"
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You: Pete and Repete went for a walk in the woods. They swam through a river, they outran a bear, and then they came to a cave. Pete and Repete went in. Pete got lost. Who was left?
Friends: Repete.
You: Okay, you must not have understood the first time, Pete and Repete went for a walk in the woods...
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"one day there was a married people and they were on the holy land and then the wife died.... a pastor said that the husbend(sp?) could pay $12,000 and send her back to the USA... or $150 and just bury her here... the man thought about it and said I'll send her to the USA... the pastor did not understan and asked why.. the man said because the last person buried here came back in 3 day and I don't know if I can handel that.."
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There was an Mexican, Chinese, and an American. They all worked at the same company.
They were on lunch break and the Mexican opened his lunch and said.."Aw, man! A burrito (SP)! If I have a buritto tomorrow than I'll jump off this building."
The Chinese opened his lunch and said, "Aw man! Fried rice agian! If I get this tomorrow I'll jump off this building."
The American opened his lunch and said, "Aw man! ballonii and cheese again! If I get this lunch tomorrow again, I'll jump off this building!"
The next day the Mexican opened his lunch to fund a buirrito and so he jumped off the building.
The Chinese opened his and it was Fried Rice so he jumped off the building.
The American opened his lunch to find a bollonii and cheese so he jumped off the building.
At the funeral all the wives of the dead men were there.
The wife of the Mexican said, "If I had known he didn't want a burrito I wouldn't have paked it."
The wife of the Chinese said, "If I had known that he didn't want fried rice I wouldn't have packed it!"
The wife of the American said, "Don't look at me! He packs his own lunch!"
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A Minniapolis couple decided to go to Florida where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. However because of schedules it was difficult to travel together. So they decided that the husband would fly down one day, with the wife flying down the following day. Well, the husband flew down, checked in, and went up to his hotel room. There he found a computer, and decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he transposed the last two digits of her adress and, not realizing his error sent the message.
Meanwhile somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husbands funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. She decided to check her e-mail expecting sympathies from friends and family. But after reading the first message she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, looked at his mother on the floor, and looked at the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived.
I know you're suprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send messages to your loved ones. I see that everything has been perpared for your arrival tommorow. Looking forward to seeing you again!
P.S. Sure is really hot down here!
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thought that those were funny
~*~Jordan~*~ |
I give it to............. um...................
waiting waiting waiting I'm really board....... waiting waiting what are you going to be for halloween if you are going to be somebody
