Someone asked me a very interesting question in my last post. Here it is:

Posted by Michelle (69.208.1.167)

I was wondering. Why don't your girls have their hair combed and pulled up in barrettes or hairbands. It looks like they have very pretty hair and it always looks messy in your pictures. Is it something you don't believe in? or, are you just to busy to do it? Don't mean to condescend you. Just wondering?

This is funny, I have blogged about stuff that I thought would provoke people, but nobody seemed to mind. My husband (by the way, if you feel the need to complain about hair, have you seen His? I happen to like it myself, but it bothers most people.) has blogged about really controversial subjects and received nothing but "Amens"! But, alas, it was photos of my sweet girls that brought on this comment (sorry, apparently it was a question). So, here is my answer.

Well Michelle: (Who are you? Please link us to your blog , I'd love to see what else you have to say.)

I just don't even know where to start.......  I guess the short answer is that there are just a few things in this world a little more important (and fun) than hair. I do brush and style their hair, maybe not religiously...but almost daily. My oldest is six years old, so as you can imagine, hairstyles only have a limited lifespan depending on the age of the child. In fact, on Sunday mornings we dress them nicely, do their hair and on a good day our two year old will still have her shoes on when we get there. Oh, I suppose I could go over their hair with a fine tooth comb, pull it tight, plaster it with gel, put a million barretts in and threaten them with severe consequences if they mess it up. But, honestly, I just don't care that much about keeping their hair neat and tidy. It's not that I don't believe in it (although I have never put much thought as to whether I "believe" in combing hair or not). I thought my children were people to be enjoyed, not dolls to be dressed up. I like to place more effort into developing character rather than perfecting appearances. I desire my girls to be women of God, not beauty queens. Plus I think my little red looks awesome with curls in her face!

I am sorry if photos of my girls have disturbed anyone else. But, don't look for a change.....I am just a mom, not a beautician. I am sure in time my daughters will spend enough time primping to make up for my lack thereof. My children are happy, confident and beautiful. Beyond that they are a pleasure to spend time with, even when their hair is messy. I started this blog to have a place to share my life with other imperfect mothers in hopes that we would spur each other on to good works. If you believe strongly in perfect hair, you may want to steer clear of this blog. I choose the pictures I post because they display times and events that are dear to our family, not because they are images of model perfect kids. Thanks to all of you that can see beyond the messy hair.

Let's open this up for a crazy controversial debate.

Hair: to do or not to do; that is the question.

What do you think?

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Posted by skdenfeld

but only once a day. i don't want to be the kind of mom who constantly (and it would have to be constant at my house) hears her own voice reprimanding my children over their hair, or having to warn them not to mess it up. i figure that at this point i am doing well just to keep the leaves and sticks that find their way in from taking up roots. will they win best kempt? no.but i like my little jungle child just as she is.

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Posted by ArrowsInOurQuiver

Wow! What a comment...However, I, too enjoy a good argument every once in a while! Personally, I think your children are ABSOLUTELY precious! I guess people don't understand that most girls don't care a thing about their hair until they are at least 6 or 7, and most of the time it's more like 13 or 14!...well, at least that's been my experience, and I have always worked with and around children in church (always) and day care (in my younger days). Too many people focus on such vain things. No wonder we have so many selfish and prideful children! When I was growing up, Mama always told us that we always needed to take pride in our appearance and look nice and presentable when we went out, but that this wasn't what mattered the most. You should see Anna's hair...most of the day!...Even on Sundays! It's CRAZY in the mornings...she's a windmill at night, I guess....and even as girly as she is...no matter how much she loves her hair being all pretty, she 9 times out of 10 WILL NOT LEAVE IT FIXED!!! Let's face it girls...it's uncomfortable to have your hair (all or some) pulled tight against your head...and head bands are just plain annoying! I say, let children play and enjoy life! Brush their hair once a day...especially young ones...then after they get out of the bath or before you go somewhere, then let them play. By the way, for you moms who don't have children who have naturally curly hair, let me tell you, it is beautiful, and can definitely be lots of fun! Lol. I used to find myself wishing that my hair were naturally straight...I have to blow dry it to get it that way, and even then, the wave is so strong that the slightest bit of humidity takes it over, then, I look like a lion! Maybe this lady just didn't have girls...who knows! I can see how someone who doesn't have children or has older ones who aren't so close together would think that of many of our blogs...and who knows how much more, when they look at things that work for our families. I guess this was just a curious question out of not knowing, maybe...or maybe the lady was just being down right tacky, who knows!

Edited by ArrowsInOurQuiver on Friday, June 27, 2008 at 8:26 AM

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Posted by Anonymous

Hi. Thanks for the comment on my blog. Iove your new background ~ and I personally think your girls are beautiful! Whats better than a bouncy head of baby curls? Nothin'!

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Posted by Michelle

Hmmm. I was NOT trying to insult you or make you angry. I appologize for hurting your feelings. It was just a curious question. I have two girls and four boys. My oldest girls a teen and does her own hair and my youngest is four. I only comb her hair once a day or when we go out. I do where hairbands in her hair because it is so long and would be in her face all day. She does come and ask me to put it up. I do not believe you should teach your girls to be vain and I didn't impy that in my question. I am too trying to raise godly gals and do not allow vanity. You may come see my blog as you wish. I feel you have answered this question hastily with anger and for not just seeing the question as it truly was. A question....Like I said before. Your girls have pretty hair.
Michelle
www.shellsgang.blogspot.com

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Posted by Eyebright

When I was your kids's ages, there was no point to doing my hair. It was so utterly wild there was no dealing with it! Hair hasn't been a major issue for us. Granted we are in our teenage years now, and we do our hair every day, but that is kind of expected when you reach our age. We just want to look nice and tidy.

When we were little, our hair didn't bother us too much. We either did it, or we didn't, and that was the way it was. The one requirement in our family about hair has only been to keep it out of our face. Bluejane and I have grown up with trained into us so now we keep our hair out of our face and like others to do so too. Our hair is always at least tucked behind our ears.

Like you said, we like to see your little red head's curls too!

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Posted by cammiemelisabray

Michelle-

I did not mean to come off angry and sorry if I did. I just was surprised that you felt it so important to make a comment about. Are there really people who don't believe in brushing or doing hair? I was just kind of shocked that it was what you noticed in my post and not the other so positive things. I don't read others blogs and try to question them on their seeming shortcomings. Just because some people like hair a certain way does not have to imply anything deep . I don't like the way some people dress their children, but it is not really my business to say so.I guess I just lean towards being more of a natural kind of gal. I like to see all those locks and sometimes I like to do up their hair all sweet and girly like.I keep them clean and brush the tangles out. They play hard and have fun all day then end up with messy hair. I was not trying to imply anything about you, I do not even know you. I just wanted to share why my girls have hair in their face...it seemed to bother you.

Plus, if there were a place that I should be allowed to rant and rave and even be hasty....this should be it. It's my blog and I will say what I want to.

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Posted by drewsfamilytx

While I think it is always nice to have hair neat and tidy, I personally just don't do hair. If I were to have a girl, I could start the day with hair looking lovely... but I imagine it would get messed up rather quickly. Kids are like that, y'know. Busy and moving. And if they go to bed with wet hair, then you KNOW that it is nearly impossible to make it look neat and tidy without rewetting it.

But I suppose if my child preferred neat and tidy hair, I would accomodate her as much as possible! After all, the sooner they get good at their own hair, the sooner they can do something with MY hair! LOL

Since I have boys, it's a moot point anyway.

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