Aug. 28, 2008 - Finally here!

Finally where? We are in Brownsville preparing for Festival of Tents! It is an exciting time of food, fellowship,worship, and encouragement. It always feels like a family reunion. I am sleeping in my van this first night. My day didn't go quite as planned so we didn't get down here until after dark. I hope this turns out okay. I'm posting from my phone.

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Aug. 26, 2008 - 2008-2009 Blogger Friend School

So, I've decided to enter the Blogger Friend School this year. It sounds like fun!

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Aug. 25, 2008 - A Great Weekend!

So much is happening! Where to begin?
    Well, I've been busy rearranging my entire house. It was so overwhelming. I wasn't sure where to begin. I decided to begin in my bedroom and work outward. A teenage boy was over today and said, "Um, Dar, why does your bed have all this stuff on it." Funny question since he has helped me move stuff. Poor kid. Every time he walks through my door I say, "Oh, since you're here..." He keeps coming back!
    The kids were dedicated at church this weekend. That was good. I feel very supported by my church family. I don't want to be the needy single homeschooling mom, but there are just some things I can't do. I need help. I don't like asking for that help. It was good to stand before the church as a family of Taylors! After church a group of us headed back to my house for Liberian food. Lunch was late because the chicken I bought on Thursday was bad, but we bought more chicken and all was good. Our house was full. It was great fun. I love having a household of people. Well, it makes it nice when you don't do any cooking or cleaning. My friend, Cecelia, did most of the cleaning.
    I slept very well last night. I think I was zonked out by 9, which is much earlier than normal. I almost slept through the night except that I woke up to crying. Dusty had fallen out of her bed. No, she doesn't have the rail on it. Last year I mostly assembled it and Kelly was supposed to finish it. Well, that never happened and now I don't have the tools. Not only did she fall off the bed, she landed on her desk. Poor girl. She's bruised, but will be fine. I went back to sleep for several more hours.
    I decided that we had had so many work days trying to get things cleaned up that I would just lie around reading and let the kids play. However, they couldn't play on the computer, playstation, or watch a movie. Dusty pretty much stayed on the couch. Christopher read a Star Wars book. Sage and Ireland played outside nicely for awhile. I read and took a morning nap. It was wonderful.
    I still have much to do, but I'm thinking that I might go to sleep soon. I really enjoyed getting a lot of sleep. I was in a much better mood, too.
    Sage has been giving me trouble again, but I think we've come up with a solution. When he isn't obeying, I discipline him. Pretty simple, eh? However, he will fight me tooth and nail. For instance, if he throws a toy that isn't to be thrown and I take it away. He will not accept discipline at all. He'll try to get the toy and tell me not to ever ever ever take anything from him. It will go on and on. This is just an example. The other day I had to call someone twice to come help me. He was out of control. So, here's the solution. I go through my normal thing of disciplining, whatever that may be, and if he continues to fight or does not accept discipline I call 1 of 3 godly men to come and help out. So far it has been good. It prevents hours of restraining and fighting and produces an obedient child. This is all new. These men are committed to helping my family and supporting me. They have good relationship with the kids and hope to mentor my boys. I am so thankful for that. I really cannot do it on my own.
    School? I haven't thought about school. Actually, I have thought about it. I just haven't planned much. Kelly is moving his stuff out almost daily and my house looks like I'm moving.  I can't focus on school when that is happening. I think I will wait until all his stuff is out and things are settled down and organized. I'm not looking at being perfectly organized, but right now everything is in an upheaval. I'll probably do some school and ease into a schedule. I plan for us to be in full swing by the beginning of October.
   

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Aug. 22, 2008 - Getting things done

    I had a much better day yesterday! However, I didn't require much from Sage. I did that on purpose. I was tired and had much to accomplish and little time to do so. Today I will require more of him. We'll see if I'll need to 'call in the troops'. I certainly hope not.
    I am thankful for the 'family' that God has given me. I have always wanted a large family like the Waltons. I didn't have that. I grew up in a home as an only child. I was so much younger than my older sister because I'm adopted. I live in a great community. Maybe you do, too. I just know that where I live I have the best people around me to be my friends and family. Well, a few of my closest friends are further away, but I still consider them part of my community. I now have a large family. The people that will be here this weekend to celebrate the dedication/adoption are just a few of my closest friends. I'm sure that more will show up when they hear there will be Liberian food. That's okay. I love that sort of thing.   s
    Can you believe Summer is almost over? It seems to have gone by so quickly. I've really enjoyed the cloudy rainy days over the past week, but I'm not ready to see such a thing every day. Although, it makes the spring warmth all the more precious when it arrives. I honestly LOVE autumn. I love the crisp air and the crackling of the leaves under my feet. I love the blustery winds and the birds flying south. I love hot chocolate, heavy blankets, and cozy books. However, I wish that summer could last a little longer. I'm not ready for schooling and schedules. I like sleeping in late. Wah!
    Pray for me. I know some of you do that anyway. Thank you.

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Aug. 20, 2008 - Tired and rambling....

Today was a hard day. I feel ill-equipped to be a single mom. I know there are millions of them out there. Once again, my dear Sage, is acting out. I guess I was already feeling stressed. Things are getting moved out of my house on almost a daily basis. Talk about decluttering! I don't seem to have enough money. Yet I am confident that I will have what I need when I need it. I just like knowing the plan. Don't we all? My external flash is stuck on my camera. It is under warranty. I don't know if I can live without my camera for a month while it is sent in to be fixed. Its like cutting off my arm. My house looks like a hurricane hit it. However, I am thankful that my washer and dryer are working...even though my dryer is taking over an 1 1/2 hours to dry. I haven't seen my new great-nephew yet. Christopher cleaned his room while Sage was off with someone else for the day. I had to call in help with Sage again this evening, though. I will be throwing a big party this weekend. My kids are going to be dedicated at church then a bunch of us, about 22 in total, will head back to my place for some Liberian food. My friend, Munty, used to be the director of an orphanage in Liberia. He is more than happy to prepare food. I am more than happy to let him do that! Today was hard for Christopher, too.

I feel much better just for writing. God's grace is sufficient for me.

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Aug. 19, 2008 - A time to live...

Life can be strange and ironic, can't it? My nephew, Levi, has a new son. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was holding Levi in the hospital. I remember feeling so nervous. I was 15, he was only hours old. His feet were so small. I also have an older sister (through my adoption...so actually my aunt) that I never talk about. I've never spoke of her because we've never had relationship. Our family is broken and full of hurt and bitterness. I never really knew her. She is dying. I went to see her in the hospital. I am so glad I did. I have nothing against her. I am sad at a relationship lost. I know she finally found a good man to stand by her. When I saw her in the hospital bed I was reminded of our mom. This particular sister looks like our mom. That was hard. I don't know if it mattered to her that I came to see her. I may never know. I don't know what to think about the experience. I have always wanted to be loved by her. Maybe I am.

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Aug. 17, 2008 - Some thoughts from the weekend...

I've just spent a few minutes reading over my blogs from the last year. I'm not sure what to think of them. In one blog I asked for you to all pray for marriages. I have always held a strong opinion about the sanctity of marriage and have felt disturbed by the fact that the divorce rate is the same in the church as in the world. My opinion hasn't changed, but my marital situation has. That is humbling and humiliating at the same time. I feel foolish for feeling so strongly on the subject and be in a failed marriage. My husband is building a new life apart from me but with another woman. He is slowly moving his stuff out. My house continually looks like we're moving. The locusts have come. What did God say about that? He said that he would restore what the locusts have destroyed. (I can't seem to find that reference right now.) I don't know exactly what that means for me, but I so know that the Lord says in Jeremiah 29:11 " For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Other versions end that passage with the words "a future and a hope".

I want to live passionately for Jesus. I want my family to look different than the family's of the world. I want our lives to speak Jesus to those around us. I want to see people encounter Jesus. I don't want to be a secluded Christian homeschooler who snubs the worldly people of the world. I don't think that's right. Jesus didn't stay hidden away with His disciples. He took them out into the world. We need to look past ourselves to the hurting people around us. I don't want my children to grow up being ignorant of the heartaches of this world. I want them to look at people with compassion, not snootiness. Being saved by the grace of God doesn't put us on a higher level than one who has yet to meet Jesus. We are all broken. We are all sinners. We are in need of a Savior.

I had the privilege of being the second photographer at a wedding this weekend. My good friend, Bryanna, was getting married to her man, Chris. It was beautiful, amazing, and fun. There are many levels to this. I had called up the photographer, Krista, to see if I could shadow her to see how she did weddings.  I've only done two weddings and I've felt nervous and a little scattered. It was incredibly relaxing to be the 2nd photographer. Krista and I worked well together and I look forward to working with her again. On another level, I was able to see people I hadn't seen in a very long time. One friend was freshly back from Germany, another from Africa, and others that I just don't get to see much. What can be more fun than a huge party with food, friends, and photos? I can't think of anything! And then, there was the wedding itself. Incredibly heart warming and emotional. A celebration of two lives becoming one. A group of people gathered around them to lay hands on them and pray for their marriage. A prayer for protection and blessing. It was beautiful to behold.

To round off the end of a busy week and full weekend I decided to head over to Open Door church instead of driving into McMinnville to True Vine. I am so glad I did. The Bumsteads and a couple of other people spoke on their experiences in Africa. The heartaches and the victories. My heart was stirred. I felt full when I left church that day. I can't remember feeling like that before. I really enjoyed how they did worship at the beginning and the end of the service. I feel like all the things that have been stirring around in my heart have begun to bubble and boil. Change is just around the corner. The game is afoot. I'm ready for an adventure with Jesus.

There is so much more to write, but I must end this. But before I go I'll leave you with one unedited image of the wedding.

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Aug. 15, 2008 - After careful consideration...

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Aug. 9, 2008 - The latest news...

In my last post I said that I would tell you why the website www.dayswithmyfather.com was so special to me, but it will have to wait. Sorry. Some of you may already know.

Today I want to give you an honest and true update on what is going on in our lives. We need your prayers. Sometimes I don’t know how to pray.

First of all, I’ll give you the good news. The adoption of my children is finally official! I am so happy. We had a small celebration on the day we found out. I will write a more complete post on that at a later time. It is SO good to be done with DHS! Technically, I am still a certified foster care provider, but I won’t be taking in any children at this time.

I’m not exactly sure how to say this or what to write. I will say that I know God is good ALL the time and the He WILL be glorified in all of this. I think part of me is afraid to talk about this because it is so personal and I’m afraid of being judged or blamed. . .and especially criticized. However, I know I am not the only one going through such a thing. I don’t know anybody else that is experiencing this exact thing, but statistics show that I’m not alone. I hope that this can be a place of encouragement. I may need you to remind me of the Lord’s goodness from time to time.

My husband and I are no longer together. We have been married for over 13 years. This is not my desire. He has chosen someone else. I will freely admit that I was not the model wife. I don’t wish to cast blame here, though it is so easy to do. I find it incredibly easy to go through the “what ifs”, but they all go unanswered. I cannot change what has happened. Some have asked if they should pray for reconciliation and restoration. Sure. I’m not going to get in the way of God’s work. My flesh doesn’t desire it. I have Biblical reason for divorce. However, he is planning to divorce me. My children are hurting. I am hurting. Our lives have been turned upside down. I don’t know what will happen with the house or the debt or anything.

I do know that God has been so gracious to me in the past couple of months. He has never failed me in the past. God is my provider, my shelter, my deliverer.

Pray that I have the heart of God in this. Pray for my children. Pray for my husband. He needs Jesus, too. Oh, you can also pray for my husband’s girlfriend. She needs the Savior just like the rest of us. The only difference is that we know we do and she doesn’t. (Just so you know, I am not always so nice about all this, but I figured that it would be easier for some of you to pray for them than it is for me to do so.)

I don’t know what else to say, but in future posts I will share how the Lord is blessing me in so many ways!

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Jul. 25, 2008 - This touched me

I came across a website today that made me wish I would've thought of it first. Please go check it out. In my next post I will write about why it was so touching to me.

Days With My Father

You can use your arrows to move through the pictures.

Enjoy.

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Jul. 19, 2008 - Birthday girl and other happenings

My sweet girl, Dusty, will be turning 9 tomorrow. That age is a scary age for me. There is only one reason for that. My mom died when I was 9 and when I see my children at that age my heart breaks for that 9 year old girl that I was. I can't believe how young 9 is, but it's almost in the double digits, which is almost 13. I worry about her. She shows the least emotion, but I'm sure she feels quite deeply. I feel like we are alike, yet the most emotionally distant from one another. I hope for that to change.

I remember the day she was born. She was the first birth I had ever seen. I cried. I cried at the sheer miracle a baby is and I cried because my niece was young and single. I loved Dusty's dark curly hair and her tiny fingers. I was smitten by this little bundle. Christopher was only 3 then. He couldn't get over how soft she was. He loved her so much. When she was little older she would come stay the night with us. I couldn't get her to stop crying at night so Christopher would hold her in his bed and she would go right to sleep. Never in a million years did it occur to me that I would one day be her mom. God certainly knew what he was doing when He made her to resemble me. He is so Good.

I made Christopher cry. Sage was asking me to be in the bathroom while he took a bath and I didn't really want to. I was in the bathroom when Ireland took her bath and put my feet in her bath to soak. (Huh, I wonder if it was my feet that made her bathwater look so bad. I thought she was just really dirty.) Sage said in his sweetest voice with his eyebrows raised, "I'll even let you soak your feet in my tub. It will be nice." I still wasn't thrilled about the idea for some reason and he walked away. I turned to Christopher and he was crying. When I asked him why he said, "Mom, he really wants to be with you and it's so sad that you don't want to be in there with him. Can't you just go in for awhile?" He was sobbing, I was feeling bad. Sage didn't end up having his bath, but he will in the morning. I'll even soak my feet with him. He did, however, lose a tooth. He asked me to pull it. I have to admit that it kind of grossed me out, but I did it. Now I owe him $2. He knows its not the tooth fairy. I'm not sure why I started the whole money thing, but now its tradition.

My husband called me this morning to let me know he's been laid off for two weeks. His boss had a big job fall through at the last minute. I should've seen it coming. He's a cabinet builder. This is why we need and emergency fund...that we don't have. Not fun times, but I know that it will all turn out just fine.

Baseball/Softball are over for the season and I am so relieved! Christopher's team took 1st in their division. Christopher even hit a triple during the second play-off game. He was so excited. I was so excited for him, I almost cried!

My washer is broken. I replaced a broken part for $15, but it wasn't the right broken part. I think I know what part it is, I just need to take it apart and call around for a used part. Not fun at all, but calling someone to come out to fix it is not in my financial plan. In the meantime, I am using my friend's washers to do my laundry. I feel bad about doing that, but using a laundromat is also not in my financial plan.

Here's some real news! I applied for financial aide and college. I plan on going to Chemeketa in either the fall or winter. I'm starting to think that it would be better to start in winter term so I have more time to get into a homeschool schedule and to get used to my new life. I'm not exactly sure what I will major in. I'm leaning toward getting an A.A. in Business, but my electives would be all about photography and graphic arts kind of things. I need to learn how to run my own photography business. I'm hoping I won't have to go to work outside my home at all. I'm just checking out all my options. We'll see where it leads me.

This is a good time for me to focus on my relationship with Jesus. I'm learning to just know Him for who He is instead of who I perceive Him to be. I have all these preconceived ideas about it and realized that I need to let those go and let Him reveal Himself to me.

Now I'm off to clean and bake and plan stuff. I should be sleeping, but I procrastinated.

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Jun. 27, 2008 - Please Pray...lots of changes lately

Change is good, right? I feel stretched beyond my capacity, but that's why I have Jesus, the ultimate rubber band. Well, lots of changes are going on right now. I'm not at liberty (yet) to disclose all the details on a public blog, but I will soon enough...say, in the next 6 months or so. So, stay tuned.

Please pray that our adoption finalized quicker than expected. I talked with the adoption attorney on Monday and he said that the papers just need to go through the court, get signed, then its final. We're not going to make a court appearance. However, it will be months before we get the new birth certificates. My friend, who has adopted from Liberia and is the executive director at Plan Loving Adoptions Now said that they didn't know the adoption was final until they received the birth certificates. I emailed the attorney this morning to ask him how I could find out for sure.

God is such a good provider. We were a bit behind in some of our bills due to some changes going on here. My monthly income will be about $1500 lower than it has been. I had paid our mortgage, auto insurance, and any bill that would accrue interest or late charges. I wasn't sure how I was going to get caught up except that I knew God always provides. A few days ago I got paid for a wedding I did earlier in the month. I added up the bills I needed to pay and my bills were only $1.77 more than the check. So now I am all caught up. Now I just need to figure out other ways to cut costs. My husband finally disconnected the cable box! That will save us $52 per month, which will go straight to debt. I'll be putting up a clothes line soon so that will help with electricity. I do cook mostly from scratch. Please don't be surprised, but I'm not perfect and we do eat too much processed food. However, I feel pretty good about the level of consumption. Perhaps I even carry a bit of pride about it. I really shouldn't do that. I looked at someone else's cart one day and was astonished at the absence of anything fresh other than bananas. I kind of grew up like that after my mom died, though.

Well, it is a beautiful day again. I'm thinking I need to plant some seeds, water my lawn (this evening), rearrange my cupboards, put away laundry, clean out the fridge and van, plan dinner, pack some boxes, and maybe even take a shower. . .or just lie down on the couch some more. Yeah, that sounds good.

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Jun. 23, 2008 - Don't be a Clam

I was sitting in church yesterday in my normal place way in the back when a friend of mine poked me in the arm. I thought it was just a silly, “Hey there” sort of poke until he leaned over and said something like, “I have a picture of you as a clam.” A clam? Why not a gazelle, swan, or a beautiful butterfly? He said it could be from God or it could just all be in his head since he knows what I’m going through right now. He described how a clam shuts itself up when it gets scared to protect itself. However, it can’t get nourishment when it stays shut like that. He wasn’t sure if it applied to me, exactly. It totally applies to me. I was sitting in church yesterday surrounded by tons of people who love me. My good friend led worship that morning. I love that when he leads the church in worship that it feels the same as if I’m sitting in his living room worshipping. Its not showy, but real. Then I watched as a huge group of people (young, old, and in-between) gathered around my boy Christopher to lay hands on him and pray for him. My heart rejoiced and broke at the same time. My good friend said she tried to pray for him, but she could only cry. I love her. A couple of people came to me and prayed for me reminding me of the promises of Jesus to never leave me or forsake me. Also, a friend had said that she was thankful for me  because no matter what comes my way she has seen me made a choice to serve and love Jesus. (Okay, its either that or do it on my own-so my choice is already made for me.) Then, another good friend told me that I don’t have to look happy all the time. It’s okay to just let go and cry or be sad or angry. (On that note, I’m afraid that if I really start crying I may never stop.) So, back to the clam thing. It was after all those other things had happened and I was thinking that I just need to buck up a bit. This is the way things are going to be and I need to just move on. I still feel like that today. I just want things to be normal...whatever that means.

Prayer Alert:
Please please please pray that the finalization of the adoption will be expedited. I talked with my adoption lawyer today and he said that hopefully it’ll be done in about 2 weeks. I know that doesn’t seem very long, but in our current circumstances it could make it or break it, so to speak. Please ask others to pray as well.

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Jun. 21, 2008 - Beautiful Weather!

I have to say that I have never been more thankful for the sunny days than I am right now. It makes it so much  easier to get out of bed in the morning. It helps my heart.

I've been listening to a lot of worship music lately. There's a song from the Enter the Worship Circle cd that I really enjoy. It's called "Though I feel Alone."  I may have already mentioned it in an earlier blog, but I don't have time to check. It says something about "in the nighttime while I  am in bed I will let every thought be of You. For You are good. You take all those who will come to You." That's the most difficult time of the day for me. Lying in bed, the house is quiet, my thoughts are only interrupted by other thoughts. They crash into one another. Its all so overwhelming, yet I have peace. Some say its shock. I think that shock is God's grace.
Isn't it nice that even though we "feel" alone the fact is that we're never alone. Jesus is always there.

Today the kids all have base/softball. It's 6th grade tournament weekend so Christopher has 4 games this weekend. I think we'll just pitch a tent at the ball field. I'd actually do it, but camping isn't permitted.

Speaking of camping. I want to go camping a couple of times this summer, but I don't know how to build a fire or tie those special little knots that made things stay together but were easy to take out. I guess it's time for me to read Christopher's Dangerous Book for Boys. We also have a 1950's BoyScouts of America Handbook.

"Unto You, O Lord
I lift up my soul...
Surely those who wait on You
Will never be ashamed
All of those who call on You
Will know the faithfulness of You Name"

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Jun. 19, 2008 - Fire, Dirt, Weeds, and Sweat

Here are a few of my thoughts over the past day or so. They may not be fully formed yet, but I think that's why I need to share with you. You can share your thoughts with me in this.

Fire: Volcanoes and forest fires completely destroy everything in their path. Yet even in that there is a little seed waiting for just a time as this to germinate and grow. We all have our own times of fire. There is Life even in the destruction.

Dirt: Mine is mostly clay. How is anything supposed to grow in that muck. It needs good things added to it. So does my soul. It is mucky and needs the good things of Jesus.

Weeds: They can grow in anything. Why is that? Some of their roots are deep and gnarly. We don't always get to the root. We pull off the leaves and our garden looks good, but it is really a breeding ground for weeds.

Sweat: Thats what happens when I dig. Why aren't my kids sweating?

Put in me,
what I cannot buy with gold
Put in me, O God
Come restore my broken soul
Put in me
What I cannot give myself
Put in me
A clean heart.

From the Song Put in Me by 100 portraits and Waterdeep from the cd Enter the Worship Circle.

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Jun. 17, 2008 - When Jesus' Power is Formed in Me...

That is the title of the devotion I read a minute ago. It is by Brennan Manning...I love his writing. Something I read resonated in me like a gong. I will share part of it. Its from the book Reflections for Ragamuffins.

"Am I unjustly criticized, rejected, betrayed by a friend? I can touch the life of Jesus who faced the same things and can will myself to respond as He did. The power of his Spirit passes into my spirit, and the purpose of Pentecost is fulfilled: Christ is formed within me not just in peak moments or transcendental experience but in the nitty-gritty of daily life."

Thats all I want. Christ to be formed in me. In my hurt and betrayal, Christ is formed in me. I can't forget that he has felt these things, too.

May Christ be formed in me. May my heart be His.

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Jun. 16, 2008 - The heart of God discoveries

I have been having a very difficult week. I would have to say this is the most difficult week of all. Heart wrenching, shocking, stay-in-bed-all-day, and eat-a-box-of-(organic-naturally-sweetened)-cookies. Did I mention that it was an entire box and I hadn't eaten anything else? So, that's where I was a few days ago. I'm somewhere else now. I'm in the wow-real-food-sounds-good place. I'm also in the place where I know I am loved. I cry even as I write that last statement. (My sentiment my change in about 3 seconds, though.)

I only mention my tough week because I wanted to talk about the heart of God. In all this turmoil a good friend and older woman of God said that she would pray that I would have the heart of God in all this. I thought, "Oh yeah, that's a good prayer. Thanks." And I meant it, but my hurt and anger couldn't fathom that idea. Then another friend called and gave me encouraging words of hope. As I sat around mulling over the things I found the heart of God. Its great and nice to pray for healing, but that is a process of time. Asking for the heart of God is so immediate. It in no way negates any of our emotions. I have a new direction in my thinking. I'm not saying that I will never do the wrong thing, but I am more mindful of His heart when I am pondering life's twists and turns.

Job was stripped of everything except his doubting wife who told him to curse God and die. I want to honor God in everything. I want to see how His hand works in us. The victory is the Lord's. It is His battle, not mine. Something amazing is about to happen. (I say "about to happen" as in the next hours, days, weeks, months, years...perhaps, generations.) I will not give up.

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Jun. 5, 2008 - Life These Days

Twelve years ago, at this very moment, 11:29 pm I was confident I would be having a baby on June 6. After all, I had been in labor for over 12 hours by then. How much longer could it possibly take? Well, it would be about 25 hours later on June 7. I want to ask, as I do every year: Where has the time gone? Those baby days flew by so quickly. Yet I remember lying in bed begging God to please just let me sleep 15 more minutes. Please make the baby stop crying for a little bit. Then there was the intense training phase that I was so unsure about. Do I flick his hand for that? Does he understand? Will he ever understand? (I still ask that last question.) Oh, and then there's potty training. I was way stressed out. I had a friendly upstairs neighbor tell me to start training at the age of 1. His mom had 6 kids and did that. Poor traumatized Christopher. My friend and I dressed him up as a little wood elf or sprite or something like that. I'll have to scan in the pictures. Oh, and lets not forget the eating of Ben and Jerry's...oh wait, he never at that. I did that when he was napping. He ate marvi bars and home canned pears. He loved his daily bath. So did I. He was contained and couldn't go anywhere. Well, I didn't love it when he decided pooping in the tub would be fun. (He'll be so embarrassed when he hears of that last one.) Oh, he once saw a life-size cut out of Darth Mal and asked me why God made such ugly people. He used to sing in his car seat and I heard, "Dear God, thank you for the street lights and electricity so it isn't dark anymore." When my dad died, Christopher would try to comfort me when I cried, but would end up saying to my husband, "She's crying again, what do I do?" Then when we built our house he was such a hard worker. He would be so exhausted at times that he would crawl into a ball, wrap up in Kelly's coat, find a corner, and cry himself to sleep. Less than a year after moving into our house he suddenly, and I mean suddenly became a big brother and the oldest of four. (You can read the beginning of that story here.) Gone were the carefree days of going here and there whenever I wanted to. Gone were the days of showing up at births or even meeting new babies. He had to grow up a little. He had to share a room and his parents. Our lives are so different now. I thought I was busy before! Ha! And now, my son is a tad taller than myself.  He steals my gender neutral looking socks. His voice is LOW. He definitely has a preference in music. I tell him to pull up his pants or put on a belt. He does love to shower, though. This evening I saw he had left some hair products out in my bathroom, but I never noticed that his hair looked any different. He loves me, but he plans on leaving me and exploring life on his own. He used to tell me that he'd let me live in his farm house with him and his wife so I could do all the cooking and cleaning. I think I'd rather him leave me out of his old farmhouse anyway. He wants to learn photography and editing. Oh, and recently he's been asking me to read, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" to him. What? He's kidding, right? Nope. Not at all. Did I mention that he really loves me. He loves Jesus, too. He's also still into legos and transformers, and I can often be caught with a glazed over look when he's talking about a star wars character or ship. He's beginning to recognize that look. Darn it! I love him. I love that he still tries to sit on my lap and will still lie down and take naps with me. Oh, and I really love that he takes care of breakfast all by himself. I love that he is so nice about the fact that I will be completely absorbed in a wedding I'm photographing on his birthday so he won't really have a celebration that day. Have I mentioned that I love that boy even though it scares me a bit...not the love part, but the whole growing up part. I love that he's getting older, but he's not too cool to kiss me and hug me in public. Last Sunday he and I were together the entire day without anybody else and he could barely separate himself from me. It was odd. He had to hold my hand or have his arm around MY shoulders or kiss me if he left me to go into the next aisle. Hey, when did it become okay for him to leave my sight in the store? That's not supposed to happen for a few more years, right? Man, that one snuck up on me. It won't be long until he's driving. I hope he'll want to be home more than any other place. I made him go to bed at the same time as the younger ones, now I wish I would've kept him up just a bit longer. I think I'll start reading that book to him soon. He loves it when I read books about how a young man is supposed to be. I asked him if he wants to read them alone and just talk about it. Nope. He gets more of me if we read it together. Well, I think I need to go kiss him, or crawl into bed with him on the top bunk, or pick him up and cradle him and sing some cheesy song.

Go kiss your kids now.

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May. 22, 2008 - Pray for Steven Curtis Chapman's family

So very sad. Please look here and give them support here.

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May. 9, 2008 - Wonderful Weather and Wacky Kids!

You wouldn't know it by my blogging habits, but I absolutely LOVE to blog. That's right, in my head I am a masterful blogger. I write about things that keep my readers on the edge of their seats waiting for more. In my head I am a prolific writer. The problem is that I am busy and little bit lazy and really good at procrastinating and such a perfectionist in such things that I don't want to post until I know it is great, but end up posting something not-so-great. So here I am. I have pictures to edit, a house to clean, laundry to fold, and cookies to bake (courtesy of The Pioneer Woman).

Now, for the real exciting stuff. I introduce to you the new member of my family. She is beautiful. Her name is Ruby. Please excuse my bad picture. I never claimed to be a photographer...oh wait, yeah I did.

 

Do you want to know the story of Ruby? Of course you do. Well, our Mercedes has been in the shop for a long time and is very expensive to fix, but the mechanic is trying to be economical with the whole ordeal. So that leaves us with a 5 passenger jeep and the beast. (The beast is an old Ford Econoline that gets about 8 miles per gallon.) Well, last Friday I loaded up all the kids into the jeep to head into Salem for haircuts, shoes, and Costco. Wouldn't you know it? The jeep refuses to start so I had to drive the beast. Big Bummer! We had to fill up the tank and it totally blew my gas budget. I was so frustrated. Here I was, a budget in place for the month, and a vow to not use credit cards at all. Fast forward $45 of gas to church on Sunday. I told my good friends, Reid and Tracy, about our dilemma. Tracy tells me that our friend, Cory, has a Toyota Previa that he was selling for $2000. (We don't have $2000.) Reid tells Cory that we're going to drive the van back home to him since we live in the same town. My friends were not going to buy it. They already have a Previa, but were considering another one. Anyway, I checked it out and loved it. So, I decide to talk to Cory, but I don't know have any idea on how I would afford this. I knew our stimulus check would be coming, but wasn't sure about the amount. I also knew that Kelly had some money in stocks that he could cash out, but all this would take a couple of weeks. Anyway, in the process a good friend  (who remain sort of anonymous) calls me and tells me that they want to pay for the van and we can pay them back, but he didn't want us going into debt. So, we got the van and are well on our way to paying back our friends. I am so pleased. I must say that the Lord has blessed us in our transportation adventures. We have been giving a few cars in our marriage or have been given good deals. God gives gifts to his children.

Softball/baseball season has started around here and I once again find myself wondering why on earth I signed my kids up for these things. Perhaps its because we don't do sporty kind of things in our family, but also I have very fond memories of being in softball. Dusty had her first game on Thursday and the boys have their first game on Saturday. (Due to behavior issues, Sage doesn't get to play in the game.) Dusty looked so cute out there on the field. I was her age when I started softball, but I don't remember being that small or that confused about the game.

I'll leave you with a picture of each of my wonderful kids.

My firstborn:

Isn't it amazing how handsome he can look even with mac and cheese smeared all over his lips?

My softball star:

 

That is just lip gloss. I'll get some softball pics up soon.

My passionate one:

And now, for the one who tries to rule me by her cuteness. Today she batted her eyes at me...but she was glaring!

 

 

I know that this picture is blurry, but I love the look on her face. Pure fun. I can't remember what she's doing or what she has done, but I know she was having tons of fun...

Until next time....

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