Jul. 19, 2008 - Birthday girl and other happenings
My sweet girl, Dusty, will be turning 9 tomorrow. That age is a scary age for me. There is only one reason for that. My mom died when I was 9 and when I see my children at that age my heart breaks for that 9 year old girl that I was. I can't believe how young 9 is, but it's almost in the double digits, which is almost 13. I worry about her. She shows the least emotion, but I'm sure she feels quite deeply. I feel like we are alike, yet the most emotionally distant from one another. I hope for that to change.
I remember the day she was born. She was the first birth I had ever seen. I cried. I cried at the sheer miracle a baby is and I cried because my niece was young and single. I loved Dusty's dark curly hair and her tiny fingers. I was smitten by this little bundle. Christopher was only 3 then. He couldn't get over how soft she was. He loved her so much. When she was little older she would come stay the night with us. I couldn't get her to stop crying at night so Christopher would hold her in his bed and she would go right to sleep. Never in a million years did it occur to me that I would one day be her mom. God certainly knew what he was doing when He made her to resemble me. He is so Good.
I made Christopher cry. Sage was asking me to be in the bathroom while he took a bath and I didn't really want to. I was in the bathroom when Ireland took her bath and put my feet in her bath to soak. (Huh, I wonder if it was my feet that made her bathwater look so bad. I thought she was just really dirty.) Sage said in his sweetest voice with his eyebrows raised, "I'll even let you soak your feet in my tub. It will be nice." I still wasn't thrilled about the idea for some reason and he walked away. I turned to Christopher and he was crying. When I asked him why he said, "Mom, he really wants to be with you and it's so sad that you don't want to be in there with him. Can't you just go in for awhile?" He was sobbing, I was feeling bad. Sage didn't end up having his bath, but he will in the morning. I'll even soak my feet with him. He did, however, lose a tooth. He asked me to pull it. I have to admit that it kind of grossed me out, but I did it. Now I owe him $2. He knows its not the tooth fairy. I'm not sure why I started the whole money thing, but now its tradition.
My husband called me this morning to let me know he's been laid off for two weeks. His boss had a big job fall through at the last minute. I should've seen it coming. He's a cabinet builder. This is why we need and emergency fund...that we don't have. Not fun times, but I know that it will all turn out just fine.
Baseball/Softball are over for the season and I am so relieved! Christopher's team took 1st in their division. Christopher even hit a triple during the second play-off game. He was so excited. I was so excited for him, I almost cried!
My washer is broken. I replaced a broken part for $15, but it wasn't the right broken part. I think I know what part it is, I just need to take it apart and call around for a used part. Not fun at all, but calling someone to come out to fix it is not in my financial plan. In the meantime, I am using my friend's washers to do my laundry. I feel bad about doing that, but using a laundromat is also not in my financial plan.
Here's some real news! I applied for financial aide and college. I plan on going to Chemeketa in either the fall or winter. I'm starting to think that it would be better to start in winter term so I have more time to get into a homeschool schedule and to get used to my new life. I'm not exactly sure what I will major in. I'm leaning toward getting an A.A. in Business, but my electives would be all about photography and graphic arts kind of things. I need to learn how to run my own photography business. I'm hoping I won't have to go to work outside my home at all. I'm just checking out all my options. We'll see where it leads me.
This is a good time for me to focus on my relationship with Jesus. I'm learning to just know Him for who He is instead of who I perceive Him to be. I have all these preconceived ideas about it and realized that I need to let those go and let Him reveal Himself to me.
Now I'm off to clean and bake and plan stuff. I should be sleeping, but I procrastinated.
Comments
Jul. 23, 2008 - camping
Posted by AsLivingStones
Thanks for the comment! Hey, I don't know how to build a campfire, either! I am hoping Eric teaches the kids pretty soon, so they could do it. We were supposed to go camping last weekend, but Eric worked. :( my dd's dream is to go camping in Oregon, but it'll be a long time before we make it up there, with the price of gas!
Jul. 25, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by midwifemom
I am so glad that our baseball season did not last that long for us. We were done by the first week of June.
