Mar. 5, 2008 - Thoughts on Homeschooling
Very good article by Gordon Neufeld, author of ‘Hold on to Your Kids’
(sorry, don't know why it looks like this when I pasted it, off to bed, kiddos are still awake and its 10 pm (!!!) no time to retype it)
The prevailing assumption is that the greatest drawback to
homeschooling is the loss of social interaction with peers. Times
have changed however, making peer interaction more of a problem
than an asset. Instead or peer interaction facilitating the process
of socialization, it is now more likely to lead to the premature
replacement of adults by peers in the life of a child. Such
children become peer-oriented rather than adult-oriented
and are more difficult to parent and teach. Furthermore,
peer-oriented children fail to mature psychologically and
their integration into adult society is compromised.
Because of escalating peer orientation it is now the school that has
become risky business. What was once the most powerful argument
against homeschooling is now its most persuasive defense. Contrary to
prevailing concerns, homeschooled children are showing evidence
of being more mature psychologically, more socially adept, and
more academically prepared for university. They have become
the favored applicants of a number of major universities.
If current trends in society continue, homeschooling may very
well become a necessary antidote to escalating peer orientation. We
may need to reclaim our children not only to preserve or recover the
context in which to teach and parent them, but also for the sake
of society at large and the transmission of culture.
The developmental needs of children were never paramount in the
arguments that led to the inception of compulsory education. Indeed,
there was little that was even understood or known about child
development at that time. It should not be surprising therefore to
find that developmental science does not support school as the
best context for children to learn, to mature, or to become socialized.
Although the school has become a central institution in our society,
it is not without risks to emotional health and development.
There are a number of sound arguments that make homeschooling a
child's best bet. The cultivation and preservation of the child-parent
attachment is at the fore of these arguments. The attachment patterns
of children are shifting, largely due to the loss of culture and the
institutionalizatio
necessary for healthy development as well as eroding the natural
power required for parents to do their job. Attachment is also
the primary context and motivation for learning. When
children are more attached to their peers than their parents and their
teachers then peers become their true teachers. Attachment is also the
primary mechanism of cultural transmission. We cannot inculcate our
children with our values and beliefs if we are not the ones they get their
bearings from or take their cues from.
Another strong argument for homeschooling is the emotional health of
the child. Developmental science is now putting emotion at the core of
learning and behavior, including the development of the brain and the mind.
Children need to have soft hearts, capable of being easily touched and moved
by that which should affect them. When children are not in right relationship
with their parents or are prematurely subjected to the wounding ways of
peer interaction, the resulting flight from vulnerability desensitizes
them. They lose their feelings, at least the more vulnerable ones.
Homeschoolers, because of their strong relationships to those responsible
for them are much more likely to have soft hearts and therefore much more
likely to realize their full potential as human beings. Research bears this out.
Yet another case for homeschooling is the individuation argument. The
primary purpose of development is for children to become their own
persons capable of functioning apart from attachments, knowing their own
minds and having their own goals. It is no secret that unsupervised peer
interaction crushes individuality and undermines the emergence of true selfhood.
As Jean Jacque Rousseau said over 200 years ago, individuation is not only the
prerequisite to true community but requires a long gestation time in
the context of loving relationship with a parent. Personhood must be
homegrown. The womb of individuation is warm and caring attachments to
loving parents. If we desire our children to realize their true potential
as human beings, we must hold on to them until they can hold on to themselves.
Comments
Mar. 29, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by ThriceBlessed
I agree! I'd like to read that book.
