Getting It All Done

A few weeks ago a gal stopped me in the parking lot at the grocery store. She saw my 15-passenger van and my homeschool bumper sticker. She was also a homeschooling mom who had recently adopted 2 children, bringing their family total to 8 members. She asked, “How do you get it all done?”

My short answer to her was, “I don’t.” I am the homeschooling mom of 7 children with a husband who is deployed to Afghanistan. We have recently moved to a new town, not very near our family and friends. I have no practical support. This is not a complaint, don’t get me wrong. Our prayerful decisions have put me in this position and we’re not surprised or victimized. I have simply had to accept that there is a limit to what I can do.

So exactly what do I do? I remain flexible. Each day is different. I would love to have a schedule that guides our life, but with so many responsibilities on my plate a schedule is too rigid and only leads to frustration. Each day I decide which things are most important. Is laundry out of control? Are there doctor appointments scheduled? Have the bedrooms gotten too messy? Is it payday and time to do bills? Are we due for an errand day? I choose a few things to focus on each day. If we can get those priorities accomplished then the day is a success.

We aim to have our lessons 4 days per week, allowing one weekday for errands that are difficult to do on the weekends. We aim to keep laundry washed so the hamper is not overflowing, but we only fold and put away a couple days per week. We aim to keep the main floor clean (living room, bathroom, kitchen) which we tidy in the afternoon and again before bed, but the rest of the house we let slide a little until the weekends or when it gets “really bad,” whichever comes first. I do the bills twice a month and spend a whole day going through mail and working on the budget.

I’ve also had to accept that this is not the season in my life to take on “extras.” It’s not a good time to start a homeschool group or a home-based business. There will be time later, Lord willing, to work on scrapbooks and teach Sunday School. I have stripped a lot of extras from our life this year so we can keep up – kind of – with the basics. I still allow for the occasional fun day – like throwing everything aside to go on a field trip or visit family. These little breathers lift our spirits.

If you stop by my house unannounced, you will likely find toys all over my living room and mail filling up the baskets by the front door. I’ll welcome you in and offer you a cup of coffee. I’ll also offer you a shoulder to cry on and a whole lot of grace to be real. Surely we should strive for growth. Being “real” is not an excuse to stay where we are, but putting up a facade is dishonest. I think many of us homeschool moms hold up an unrealistic standard to measure ourselves against. We want perfect children, perfect homes, perfect marriages, perfect lessons. This leads to self-deprecation and unnecessary stress. We need to give ourselves grace. We also need to give one another grace.

Where are you today? Do you feel overwhelmed by your circumstances? Are there obligations you can cut from your life to ease your stress? Will some grace and flexibility improve the atmosphere in your home? Are your expectations for yourself or your family unrealistic? Remember, your circumstances are different from everyone else’s in your life. Take it to the Lord in prayer and ask Him for wisdom. Then give yourself some grace.