Tonight my husband and a team of apprentice ice carvers created a very large ice carving at the university - santa's sleigh and reindeer, lifesize. Well, since this is his place of employment... I took the kids to see the carving on agreement that everyone was on their tippy top best behavior. Well...
They did really well. They were respectful, if not frozen to the core and unable to really speak while we were outside. Well, all that changed once we went inside and they ate at the university cafeteria. It reminded me of this joke that used to go around in email:
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 3-year old child's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
We were standing up to leave the cafeteria and I was getting all of the kids coats on and getting them all bundled up to go back outside. Remember this is a VERY crowded university cafeteria filled with 18-22 year olds except for our family. Well... my 6 year old says "I HAVE TO GO PEE!" at the very moment that the entire room goes silent. She is WAY too old to say things like that in a loud way... I am not sure WHAT was going on in her head!
Mortified. I know... its not a big deal... but you know how it is... everyone expects kids to be perfect when you are out and about.
Anyone that knows Sam (4) knows he has this THING with superheroes. Namely, Buzz Lightyear, Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. (Sidenote... I have to laugh when I say Spiderman now because hubby keeps saying it like its a last name... like Hoffman. As though his name is George Spiderman! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!)
Ok... I digress. So, this evening while I was out grilling (er, blackening...) the chicken, Sam was in the yard below the deck. I looked over and watched the boys play thinking how "boy" they both are. Then Sam, without warning, unzips the padded vest he is wearing, flips it up behind his head inside out and says "I'M BATMAN!" and started running around jumping over things. He ran towards the house and jumped over a stray toy and must have been trying to fly because he then said... "I guess Im not batman." It was SO stinking cute! He didnt say it like he was upset, just matter of fact... like, Darn. I wanted to fly.
Oh well. He has resigned himself to go to college... but when he gets out... he wants to be Buzz Lightyear! (Thinking... maybe the Air Force?)
Trying not to take situations too seriously, living each day for the Lord, trying to figure out how to do this homeschool mom thing!
If you have trouble reading my page, try expanding this screen to "full screen". Sorry for the inconvenience... I am working on figuring out how to fix it!
You and dogs definitely have a lot in common.
You're both goofy, happy, and content with the small things in life.
However, you're definitely not as needy as the average dog. You need your down time occasionally.
At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.
In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.
