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I am burning all books by the Pearls… and i encourage you to, too!
February 27th, 2010
In light of the deaths occasioned by the use of their methods (most recently Lydia Schatz, who was beaten to death for mispronouncing a word from "Frog and Toad") and also in light of the exposure i have had in real life to parents who have gone "too far" while using these methods, i want to personally repudiate this ministry and publicly retract anything supportive i have written about them in the past.
So many other people have posted about this, that i don’t even feel emotionally able to try to post more, but this is one thing i will say – the Bible says "by their fruits you will know them" and so often, Christian people have said something to me that sounded good (whether in person, or in a book) – but something didn’t sit right in my spirit about it.
And then i’d see it – the hatred toward Roman Catholics, or the subtle racism, or the tremendous hubris, or the almost sociopathic disdain for anyone who doesn’t agree 100% with them. The inability to fathom that they might ever be mistaken. The belief (in the Pearl’s case) that they can effect their own sinless righteousness through their own efforts.
What fruits are we to look for? The Bible says
Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
I kind of just shelved these books and thought ‘well, they’re not for me" – i took the good bits (about teaching your children what you expect instead of punishing their misdeeds when they didn’t know any better, about "tying heart strings") and left them on my bookshelves.
But i will be getting rid of these books, in such a way that no one else will be able to read them.
I just wish i had used a little bit of mental energy to look into *why* i was uncomfortable, and that i had been a little more outspoken.
Jesus isn’t a god who beats little children to kidney failure and death.
He’s the safe place for every neglected, abused, scared, hungry child, and for the child inside each one of us that longs to be known, completely, and still loved and accepted.
I don’t think the Pearls know that Jesus.
15 Responses to “I am burning all books by the Pearls… and i encourage you to, too!”
mamazee
I don't even know who you're talking about, but want to google them so I can steer clear!! that's sick! You are SOOOOO right to burn them!
LD
I have never heard of these folk either… or about the death of the child you mention. Perhaps you could post a link to some background information. Thanks. ~ Denise.
If anyone has it, add to the burning pile "The Godly Home" audio series by Denny Kenaston. Advocates the same thing as the Pearls.
Thank you for posting on this, Stephanie.
Vanessa
here is one website explaining this whole to do…
http://www.thatmom.com/?p=3927
the Pearl's website is "No Greater Joy" .com…
Thanks for posting this. I didn't realize I still had a link to their web site on my blog.
I was given their book 8 or so years ago. Like you, I gleaned a few ideas from it about tying heart strings and being more consistent. I also read a few of their other books and listened to M. Pearls teachings on Romans.
Being reformed in our beliefs, we have major doctrinal differences with them, so I had shelved the books and not recommended them.
I will definitely be getting rid of them now!
I so couldn't agree more Steph!!
Hi Stephanie. This is Janice, from tidbits. I stopped by your blog this evening to see how things are with you and your family, and ended up being very hurt and upset. I am a Roman Catholic, Stephanie. I love my faith and my Church and I thank God for the gift of His Grace daily.I do not know who Michael Pearl is, but if he claims to be Catholic, he certainly does not live the Faith. I am not racist Stephanie, I do not think I am overly proud, and I certainly do not look down upon people of other faiths. We are brothers and sisters in Christ, and we are all hurt by people like the Pearls, and by the attitude that you are espousing. I know you are upset and rightly so, but you went too far.
I didn't mean that Roman Catholics were any of those other bad things! I meant that i've met people who have a deep, abiding hatred for Roman Catholics – and they call themselves Christians. And i don't see how they can have the fruit of the spirit when they are being eaten up by hatred for the Roman Catholic church! Or by racism – or any of those other things that get in the way of hearing from our Father. I am not Catholic, but there is a lot about the RC church that i can commend and admire.
I'm so sorry your feelings were hurt by an awkward construction of words! I was just thinking of things in my experience where those types of things showed me that the person who was wanting to "impart wisdom" to me was seriously off track. The Pearls aren't even the anti Catholic people i was thinking about – but a lot of the other things i was definitely thinking about (the hubris, the unwillingness to think they might ever be wrong or deceived…)
Stephanie,
Very good post. Thank you for speaking up.
Sadly, it takes this kind of tragedy for people to 1. have the nerve to speak up and 2. for people to listen to caution.
I have NEVER been a Pearl supporter. I read a few things he had written about 15 years ago and was completely turned off. Then he wrote the book Created to Be His Helpmate. And my friends flocked to the book. I read horrid reviews of it and tried to caution. But no, you can't turn a mob who is 'following'.
Thankfully I don't have books to burn. but I commend you for that action. Don't pass on trash. It could be turned into useful heat!
I agree with you that we must not promote hatred or prejudice. BTW, I totally understood what you are saying.
My apologies, Stephanie!!!!! I did misunderstand, totally. I really was surprised because I feel like I do know you through tidbits, and those sentiments that I thought were being presented did take me off guard! I am so sorry for the misunderstanding…can I blame hormones a little! :0)
Glad you came back to check it out
– So sorry for the misunderstanding!
and I'm glad the tide of homeschool public opinion seems to be turning against them. About 15 years ago I read about 'blanket training' and it was more than enough to turn my stomach.
What they advocate and preach IS child abuse regardless of what their supporters say.
because the whole "teach what you expect before you get in that situation" and the blanket training are basically opposite. In one, you calmly tell your child, before hand, what you expect, and then practice doing it… in the other one, you tempt a baby to reach out past the limit of the blanket on the floor and then hit his little hand… Hard to reason with a six month old.
I read this on the website and I honestly cannot believe that they would say this. To believe in something. To take such an arrogant stand about it is quite another.
…the question is, "If I am in a position where I cannot use the rod, am I already doomed to failure, or is there still hope? Can children be trained without use of the rod?" Absolutely. But they cannot be absolutely trained. Proper application of the rod is indispensable to communicating the divine principle of retributive justice, but any child, military man, employee, the neighbor’s kid, your dog, cat, or the birds in your yard can be trained through manipulating their relationship to their environment…
…If you are seeking to avoid the rod because you are an emotional coward or you are a product of contemporary philosophy, then not obeying God in this matter should not be considered an option. The Word of God teaches us the best method of child training, and proper use of the rod is a part of that program. Furthermore, if you abstain from use of the rod because you believe there is a better way, then you have revealed a fundamental flaw in your thinking that will leave a giant hole in any method you adopt. In other words, a person who understands the value and principle of the rod, but is somehow prevented from using it, will carry those valuable principles over into rodless training and so reap some of the benefits. Whereas the person that does not believe in use of the rod is so flawed in his understanding of human nature and life in general that no technique will be entirely effective for him….
Read it all carefully. I feel that it is very serious. That last sentence is unbelievable/