Join me on Saturday, October 20 on Eagle Forum Live – Phyllis Schlafly’s radio program – 11:00 am Central Time. It is a call-in interview, so I look forward to hearing from you. Go to www.EagleForum.org for information and a listing of the stations in your area. You may listen online following the broadcast as well.
Have a great day!
STRESSLESS Organization
By Marilyn Rockett
Now let me get this straight—a homeschool mom is supposed to teach her children (all academic subjects, all day long) while she keeps her home immaculate, bakes bread twice a week, chauffeurs the children to two activities per day, and still has time for her husband and her church. Right? A homeschool mother certainly didn’t start that rumor!
Regardless of false expectations, a homeschooling mother does have more to do on most days than almost any other human on the planet. Disorganization adds stress and frustration to her day. Is it possible to homeschool two children—or ten—and survive? Is it hard work? Yes, to both of those questions. However, when you’re organized, your job is much easier and less stressful.
STRESSLESS Organization
What does organization look like? Let’s eliminate the things that organization is not. It’s not having a perfect home that could go on the cover of a magazine at all times. It’s not running a boot camp in your home, never allowing a mess. It certainly isn’t having closets that could pose for the organized closet advertisements.
Organization is a state of mind and heart that desires God’s best for your home and family and the willingness to do whatever you need to do to work toward that best. It is a recognition that little things count. Elisabeth Elliot said it well in her book, Keep a Quiet Heart:
It is not easy to find children or adults who are dependable, careful, thorough, and faithful. So many lives seem honeycombed with small failures, neglectful of the little things that make the difference between order and chaos. Perhaps it is because they are so seldom taught that visible things are signs of an invisible reality; that common duties may be “an immeasurable ministry of love” (Revell, 1995).
If you experience stress due to disorganization, perhaps applying these ten principles will help you “stress less” in your home and homeschool.
See God’s perspective
In the bustle of life, we often are shortsighted and don’t realize how much the little things count. Training your children in the importance of every-day duties is as necessary as training them in academic subjects. God is a God of order; He made us in His image; and Scripture is replete with admonitions to plan well, count our days, and do things decently and in order. God tells us to do those things because they reflect His character. God never calls us to do anything for which He does not provide the means to obey that call. If you have grown lax in your homekeeping, you need to see your home from God’s perspective.
Take time to plan
Planning well does take time. However, it takes much less time to plan than to try to recover from the consequences of no planning. Each morning stop a moment to review the day’s plans, or each evening take ten minutes to plan the following day. Take a larger block of time once a week to review the coming week. Ecclesiastes 8:5b-6a tells us that a wise heart knows the proper time and procedure for everything. That is only true when you take time to reflect on wise plans.
Reevaluate your plans
Your plans don’t always work out as you thought or hoped they would, do they? When you see that a particular plan or method is not working, you need to reevaluate to see where you can make an effective change. Plans are your tools and means to accomplish the important things in life. It is normal for plans to change when they are not serving the intended purpose. An old proverb says, “A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” Continual reevaluation will help you reach your intended destination.
Establish priorities
The most difficult part of getting organized is making choices. When your priorities are firmly established, you are able to fill your time with the best choices, maintaining a sense of direction. Personal and family priorities keep you on track and help you say no to things that do not fit your established priorities. Conscious choices are better than choices by default. A written Family Mission Statement, compiled by the family, gives direction and keeps balance in your home. Sit down together and decide what is most important to the family. Fill in the blanks for these statements: Our family purpose is _____. Does _______ [a specific activity] fit our purpose? Your list allows you to produce a mission statement that brings the family together for common purposes.
Set goals
Priorities give you direction, but goals are the means that move you in that direction. For success, goals must be simple, specific, measurable, and attainable. State goals in positive rather than negative terms. “I won’t let the laundry pile up” is not a goal. “I will keep the laundry current and in the drawers/closets immediately after it is clean each week” is a positive goal. “I will wash one load of laundry per day, Monday through Friday, will fold the load before lunch, and will have the children put the clean clothes away after lunch” is a plan to reach that goal. Don’t overplan and try to accomplish too many things at once. Work on the things that bother you most or the things that are out of control before tackling other problems. When you prioritize a problem and set a goal for changing it, you put the problem on track for a remedy. Your feeling of accomplishment when you see progress in areas in which you struggle motivates you to continue setting other goals.
Simplify Your System
No matter what method you chose to keep up with your activities, keep it simple. Some people prefer to use only a calendar; others prefer a nice paper planner or electronic means. Don’t tie yourself to a method that seems too complicated for you. Your planner or organizer is your tool and it should help you get the things done that you need to do. If it doesn’t, examine why that is true. Are you failing to use it properly to help you, or is it the wrong tool for you? Simplify your choices in every area possible—meals, schedule, and housework—and establish a simple, basic routine for your homekeeping. If you stick to a simple household routine, adding extras when possible, you will always have the basics accomplished.
List Your Plans
Lists won’t do your work for you, but they do keep you on track and aid your memory as your day squeezes tighter. If you keep one central planner or notebook, you will avoid scattered or lost notes to yourself. A written plan crystallizes your thinking and holds you accountable for what you said you were going to do. It helps you see the bigger picture when you record your plans and activities on a calendar, plan book, or notebook. How you put it in writing isn’t as important as actually doing it in some way. Use what is comfortable for you.
Eliminate Clutter
We don’t like to talk about clutter, and it frustrates us in multiple areas of our lives. We are ashamed of the messes (otherwise, why would we try to explain them away), and clutter usually causes more difficulty in our lives than we realize. The truth is that life is messy in all kinds of ways, and we have to face it eventually. Strive for the balance that I call “functional neatness”—neat enough to be peaceful and messy enough to be happy. Deal with the clutter in your life and experience freedom to produce fruit in important things. In the process, you will also teach your children to be good stewards of their possessions and their time.
Slow down
Life moves fast. Why do we believe that we can add more and more to our lives and not suffer the consequences? Homeschooling affords the opportunity for us to love and raise our children at a pace that produces real fruit and real life. Place time with the Lord first—He is your source of strength and wisdom. Learn to say no based on your priorities, and take time to rest and refresh yourself to continue in your mission. In a little book of quotations, I came across this wise advice: “One half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quick and not saying no soon enough” (Josh Billings, quoted in Little Things, edited by Louise Bachelder, The Peter Pauper Press, 1969). Slow down to eternal speed and enjoy your family!
Stay the course
If you haven’t planned well, evaluate how you failed and plan to do better. God is the one who is able, and His grace is boundless. When you commit to persevere, He will honor that commitment and lift you up to fulfill your mission. The Word of God encourages you to persevere in the most important task the Lord has called you to do—raise godly children. “Therefore, my beloved [sisters], be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58, NASB). “Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass” (I Thessalonians 5:24, NASB).
I love what A. A. Milne (creator of Winnie-the-Pooh) said about organization: “Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up”* In order to display God’s glory through our homes and families, we don’t want our homes to be “all mixed up.” With God’s strength, you can reverse what could possibly be your most stress-inducing concern—disorganization. You and your family will reap the peaceful rewards of an organized household.
* Retrieved online, July 16, 2006. http://en.thinkexist.com/quotes/a._a._milne/2.html
Marilyn Rockett is a “graduated” homeschool mom of four grown sons and Mimi to six homeschooled grandchildren. The Rocketts home taught for fifteen years before they ran out of sons to teach. Her new book, Homeschooling at the Speed of Life (B&H Publishing), provides organizational helps. Marilyn has contributed articles to many publications, gives Minding Your Time Seminars, and speaks at homeschool and Christian women’s events. She presents Passing the Baton Seminars that encourage and teach adults how to effectively mentor. Visit her website at www.MarilynRockett.com or contact her at Marilyn@MarilynRockett.com to learn more.
This article is a reprint from The Virginia Home Educator, Volume 13, Issue 2. Used by permission. Copyright 2007, Marilyn Rockett. If you are interested in using this article in a publication (print or online) please contact Marilyn Rockett.
Moms, have you thought about forming a group with your fellow moms to read and share ideas using Homeschooling at the Speed of Life as your study guide?
Homeschooling at the Speed of Life is a perfect study guide for a group. Purchase a copy for each of the group members and set aside a couple of hours one day per week or every other week to get together to discuss one chapter. Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17) and you will receive teaching and encouragement from the book and from your friends (and they from you) to balance your home and school.
Keep it simple – Make arrangements for young children (maybe an older homeschooled teen to watch them) – Come to the group ready to share and ask questions – Serve simple refreshments – Enjoy the fellowship with like-minded moms!
If you form a group, please let me know and share your story. I would love to publish it in Timeminder Tips, my free newsletter, so others can see what you are doing.
Please honor copyright laws and do not copy the pages in your book to share with others. The CD content is covered by copyright laws in the same way as the printed copy. If you have questions, e-mail me and I will do my best to help you. Share your group’s story with me!
Hope you enjoy this article – Please do not copy it for use elsewhere because it is copyrighted, but please do send your friends to this blog to read it – or to my web site to read it and other articles. www.MarilynRockett.com. Thanks.
The ABCs of Order in Your Home
By Marilyn Rockett
Okay, Ladies—let’s talk. It’s time to drag this idea of organization out of the shadows, dust it off, and take a good look. We know we need “it” but we aren’t sure where to get “it” or how to keep “it.” We see a friendor acquaintance with “it,” and we wonder how she does “it.”
Why does organization seem so difficult? We long for order out of our chaos, but the whole thing seems to elude us at times. If we could just grasp “it” long enough to show some positive progress, we would feel hope for long-term solutions to our dilemma.
Each of us fights a private battle with organization. Do you lack training? Do you have lazy habits? Do you have a rebellious spirit toward your role in the home? Are you just too busy juggling too many balls? Is school time or your use of a particular curriculum crowding out other important tasks because you fear that you won’t provide a good education for your children? Have you forgotten your priorities? Maybe you’ve never sorted out your priorities; consequently, you jump from one task to another, leaving unfinished jobs strewn from one end of the house to the other. Whatever your particular nemesis, you may be tired of the fight and you yearn for peace and order in your home.
If you desire that order, you have come to a profitable place for change. As in anything you do, you have to want the results or it just won’t happen. My experience has shown me that there is no one “right” system for everyone, but there are certain principles that help all of us, no matter what battle we fight.
When all around you is falling apart, you must begin small, taking one baby-step at a time. Begin at the beginning with the ABCs of order.
Despite your feelings, you probably are doing some tasks well. Identify those things and examine why you are successful in those areas. Even if you see only one thing, look at it and ask yourself these questions: Do I like doing this particular thing? Am I good at it, and do I feel successful when I do it? Is this an easy task for me?
For example, you may love to cook. You love to create new dishes that are nutritious and tasty. You enjoy experimenting with recipes, and you seldom use one exactly as it is written. Possibly you serve several “famous” dishes that everyone raves about. Experiencing the joy of seeing your family savor a wonderful meal that you have prepared for them makes homemaking worthwhile to you. However, your home is falling down around you—the laundry piles higher every day, green rings decorate your toilet bowls, and you would rather throw a shirt away than sew on a button.
You obviously have applied your creative spirit to your culinary skills and have experienced success with that area of your responsibilities. Congratulate yourself for that ability and keep up the good work! Remind yourself that you do some things well.
Now, look for ways to carry that same creative bent to the things that you enjoy less. Decorate your bathroom by hanging fresh curtains and some lovely pictures. Use a pretty tray to keep items neatly on the bath counter. Add a picture of your husband or your children to smile at each morning as you get dressed. (One of my favorite pictures sits on my bath counter.) It is harder to leave that green toilet ring when your bath is pretty and inviting.
If the mending stares at you but you would rather put off doing it, try gathering all your supplies into a pretty basket large enough to hold them, plus a few mending items. Place the basket next to your chair in the family room (or on a shelf nearby, if you have young children who love to rummage through things like baskets). When you sit down in the evening, pick up the mending while a family member reads aloud or the children relate their day to Dad. Tackling one or two items quickly is easier than facing a large stack of mending at one time.
Accept the fact that you can do some tasks better than others. Admit your weaknesses and look for ways to improve in those areas.
Build a Basic Routine
If you often jump from one task to another without finishing anything or you feel as though you don’t know where to start on most days, you need a basic routine. Your creative spirit may bristle at the thought of a “schedule,” but a simple, doable framework frees you and allows time to accomplish the basics.
Make a weekly routine based on a predictable sequence rather than on certain minutes or hours to do what you need to do. A simple routine that you stick to, even for part of your day, is the single most helpful thing you can do to restore order to your home. After all, it was skipping those basic responsibilities that brought about the chaos in the first place.
A simple, skeleton routine that allows for housework time, play time, and school time allows you freedom to be flexible while still maintaining order and a generally clean and tidy home. If you keep it simple, you will find more time to do other activities without sacrificing your home on the altar of the urgent.
Evaluate each room in your home, deciding which things are most important to accomplish and which could wait, if necessary. Write those things down on paper as you walk through your home. Then use the list to establish your routine. You and your family must grocery shop, cook meals, wash dishes, do laundry, clean floors, and make beds—or at least change sheets occasionally. You may want to include a daily pick-up time to help keep clutter to a minimum. Include anything else that helps you maintain your home at a reasonable level of functionality.
Put your routine on paper, marking blocks of time each day for activities such as housework and chore time, school time, fun time, and any particular commitments such as music lessons, sports practices, and so forth. Post the routine where the family can see it, and stick to it as much as possible. Remember that you don’t have particular hours or minutes to do things, rather you have blocks of time to accomplish the necessary tasks—chores after breakfast, school time after chores, and library trips on the days you take the children to music lessons, for example. If an emergency shifts your routine, just go back to the basics as soon as you are able. Assign chores to each of your children old enough to do them, and supervise to see that they complete what you expect of them.
Most important, don’t overplan. If you stay too busy with multiple activities, you won’t have time to teach your children to work and to maintain your home in a God-honoring way—not perfect, but presentable.
Continue to Change
Motherhood, homemaking, parenting, and teaching children are not for wimps! Those jobs are difficult and require continual learning and adjusting. I don’t know anyone who has ever accomplished all of them perfectly.
Change is difficult, isn’t it? If you haven’t done well in keeping your home, determine why and then work on that particular problem. Your example of a commitment to persevere will teach your children to keep going when things are hard and to continue to learn and grow in all areas of their lives.
Don’t be afraid to make changes in how and when you do things. If something isn’t working, change it. Find the best method and time for you and your family, and don’t do something just because your mother did it that particular way. Ask older women for help and ideas or find a mentor. Scripture tells us that the older woman should teach the younger woman (Titus 2:3-5), but we seem to forget that practical admonition in today’s culture. Someone else who has been where you are often can see problems that you are overlooking. Don’t be too proud to ask for help.
I’m so grateful for the new beginnings the Lord provides when needed. He desires that we work toward homes that honor Him, and we can trust that He will give us the energy, power, and new beginnings for our tasks.
Praise Him for your strengths and offer your weaknesses to Him for His correction and change. The only “it” that matters—and that you need—is a heart that longs to honor the Lord through your home and a desire to go back to the basic ABCs, when needed, to accomplish what He has given you to do.
Marilyn Rockett is a “graduated” homeschool mom of four grown sons and Mimi to six homeschooled grandchildren. The Rocketts home taught for fifteen years before they ran out of sons to teach. Her new book, Homeschooling at the Speed of Life (B&H Publishing), 2007, provides organizational helps. Marilyn has contributed articles to many publications, gives Minding Your Time Seminars and speaks at homeschool and Christian women’s events. She presents Passing the Baton Seminars that encourage and teach adults how to effectively mentor. Visit her website at www.MarilynRockett.com or contact her at marilyn@MarilynRockett.com to learn more.
This article is a reprint from the April 2007 Homeschooling Helper e-newsletter published by Homeschooling Today® magazine. It may not be copied or reprinted without written permission from Marilyn Rockett.
Friends,
I have been bogged down with so many new activities that have accompanied the release of my book! So sorry to be absent from this blog. Maybe I need to get organized! LOL! But do check back since I plan new entries much more frequently now.
Did you miss my free teleseminar July 17th? If so, stay tuned for more later. What fun to meet moms online or on the phone! I hope you will join me for the next one in August. Watch for details.
I’ve added two other entries today as well – news you may want to know and an article for your enjoyment.
Have a great day and enjoy your children today! Marilyn
Marilyn Rockett