Sunday, March 9, 2008 - Motivating Children
I received this email from a homeschool list I am on and thought it could benefit many of you. I have added a few of my own ideas.
Let me know what you think.
Question: what sort of "punishments" or "motivators" do you use as a homeschooling parent if the schoolwork and/or chores are not completed? I plan to help her get organized (make lists for herself if she needs to, etc), but I want her to use the tools to become responsible. I need some ideas because the ones I have used in the past just don't seem to work.
Answer:
These are the things I keep in mind:
(1) PRAY! God can give you wisdom where you have none. He will also guide you to a right and proper course. Some ideas He has given me, after a particularly aggravating day, I had had it with my two oldest bickering, we asked them to wash each other's feet. The whole episode ended in laughter and they still mention it, 10 years later.
My two youngers were pestering one another, we talked about how frustrating it is for even those listening. We declared that if there was anymore bickering they would be fed a crust of bread for dinner.
Another sibling idea is to have the offending sibling do the chores of the the other child.
(2)Praise and attention are usually the number ONE motivators. Rather than pointing out faults, praising their accomplishments and attitudes is so much better!
Giving attention to accomplished work, and asking, "How does it feel to get that done? Do you feel like you've learned a lot? Does that make you feel good? Does it make you feel good to finish it?"
It is sometimes a challenge to find the good and not focus on the negative, but do try!
Also ask "What did you find interesting in what you just learned/accomplished? What have you learned? How would you like it to be different? (like the way it was written, or presented, etc.)
(3) Figuring out what her "learning syle" is might be a solution to the problem, especially if it conflicts with your teaching style. She might need to learn in a "hands on" type of environment -- field trips, making things, living history, etc.
So.... maybe give her assignments where she can do hands on work for each subject.
For example:
(1) Write a creative paragraph about what you learned
(2) Draw a picture of what you learned
(3) Make a poster about what you learned (or collage of pictures)
(4) Write a pretend letter to someone describing what you learned and why it was or wasn't interesting.
(5) Play "teacher" and have her try to teach what she's just learned
(6) Arrange field trips once a month or something on your day off around the subjects she's learning. Have her learn how to find out what activities are available -- and what time they are, and how much they cost, etc.
(7) Have her participate in a play about the subject
(8) I don't know if you already do this -- but some people mix literature with the subjects. Biographies of people too. But there is fiction that is sort of related -- and that can spark interest.
(9) A type of "book report" for the day on each subject -- and maybe draw a picture to go with it and ask her to do one project a day about one of her subjects
(10) Ask her to talk into a tape recorder about what she's learned (that's called narration) and you could later listen to it when you're doing the dishes or driving to work, etc. Then you could comment on it.
(11) One of my favorites is creating a lapbook. My kids don't even realize they are creating something educational.
(12) Be willing to do the writing for your child. I find they can narrate back to me some incredible information that they just don't have the skills to write.
I do think that feedback to the child is extremely important!
That is what they DON'T usually get in school. I never did, anyway!
Feedback, love, attention, praise, etc. are so KEY to progress and motivation.
(3) If worse comes to worse, I do punish. No t.v. for the rest of the day, or the following day. No game boy, computer or other favorite things after school or in the evening if he doesn't complete his work. Extra chores are a common consequence. Even no going over to a friend's house if he doesn't get things done. FOLLOW through and be consistent.
That being said I find that the feedback, love, attention, special time with Mom or Dad, and constructive praise work best.
What works for you? Do you have any creative discipline ideas that have worked for you?
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