--Flashback--

Most people remember March 19, 2003 as the start of the “shock and awe” campaign in Iraq.  We remember that date for a very different reason.  Oh, it was “shock and awe” alright—but of a very different kind. 

I woke up that day feeling just a teensy bit queasy.  I was just a couple of days late, but that’s not all that surprising for a woman skipping merrily down the road toward “the change.”  Just the same, I thought I’d better check it out.  I still have the little stick that confirmed my never-imagined fears! 

Yep. 

Positive.

Pregnant. 

So I stared at that little “+” sign, silently willing it to fade away and whispering the only thought my mind would allow. “Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.”  Of course my next thought was to call my husband, never thinking that perhaps it would be wise to prepare him for the most unexpected of news.  Surprisingly, he accepted my words calmly and logically.

“No, honey.  You’re not pregnant.  It’s just menopause.”

It seemed at the time that I had just two options.  I could allow him to enjoy his self-protective fantasy for a few days, or I could burst his bubble quickly and painlessly.  I chose the latter.

“Honey, menopause causes many strange, even inexplicable signs and symptoms, but I really don’t think it causes positive pregnancy tests.” 

Later that same day, the Americans dropped some really big bombs in Iraq.

--Back to the present--

So here I am.  I should be starting the final lap of the homeschool phase of my life, but instead I find myself crouching at the starting line.  Again.  The books just arrived.  Little “shock and awe” is sitting on the living room floor excitedly looking everything over, imploring me “Mommy, can you teach me now?”  I really didn’t think I’d ever be here again. 

13 more years of books, schedules, lesson plans, records, field trips, frustrations, and joys.

When he graduates I’ll be 58.

Is it too early for a drink?

Arby posted a great post earlier this week that elicited two responses from me. The first reaction I am accustomed to experiencing whenever I read Arby’s blog. The second reaction was not as familiar. It was by no means the first time that I laughed out loud at the hysterical writings of this funny man (and I mean that in the best way), but when I read his post I also wanted to scream. Don’t worry!  I'm not mad at Arby—only at some quotes he posted in reaction to the recent California court ruling.

I’ve been hearing statements like these quite a bit lately—and, personally, it’s starting to get old. Here’s a sampling of the statements found in Arby’s post and a few other places. Oh, and by the way, the spelling and grammar errors in these statements were theirs, not mine!

Then let’s not forget when credentialed teacher, Katie Criss, wrote: “American citizens, together let's promote our very prestigious and notorious public school system and crusade against the leniency of home schooling that consequently will benefit our country by providing a solid education for all.” (Does Katie know what the word “notorious” means?)

The premise that only “credentialed” teachers are qualified to teach children is flawed on so many levels that I hardly know where to begin. Yet, despite its many obvious flaws, this assertion has become an extremely popular argument of both casual and “official” critics of the homeschooling movement. But a critique of the assumptions that underlie the premise very quickly reveals its faults.

You don't need a teaching degree to do that.

Thanks to several posts on Dana's blog, I'm back on the issue of socialization. Again.

I've been giving this some thought lately in response to an article which was posted by a youth pastor from Nebraska. In his post, the Serial Youth Pastor cites lack of social skills in homeschoolers he has known as one of his arguments against homeschooling:

"Social skills usually aren’t great - again this is the norm and NOT the exception. I have witnessed this more times than I can count."

And in an article entited Homeschooling Researched, Katie Kriss writes:

"How can a parent make such a crucial decision without their child's consent to remove them from a world that is considered to be the 'norm'..."

How many times have you heard someone say,

"Well, I met this homeschool family, and frankly, they just weren't normal"?

When a youth pastor says that the majority of homeschooled teens he knows lack social skills, I wonder exactly what he means by that.  I wonder by what standard he has measured these kids and found them lacking? Is it a fair measure? And more importantly, is it a right measure?

In a reply to one of his commenters, the Serial Youth Pastor gives an indication of exactly how he measures the social skills of the kids in his youth group. He says, "I do think the ones that have better social skills do blend in."  Blend in?  With whom?

Think about the social climate of the youth culture around us.  Have you sat in the food court in a shopping mall and watched teens lately?  Have you watched kids at a schoolbus stop? I've had the "privilege" of working as a substitute teacher in our local public school.  It is abundantly clear that the way for a child to "blend in" in this setting is to be disrespectful, rude, and disinterested. Is this behavior normal?  Well--yes--it is normal.  In today's youth culture, it is normal. And it's disturbing. 

And here's my point.

Kids who are not fully immersed in this culture WILL be different. They will NOT blend in. And I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I'm not concerned that people continue to raise the socialization question. I AM concerned that these people insist that the social culture of today's youth is the standard by which all children should be measured.

Youth culture in our country is in serious trouble.

We need a lot more kids who are not "normal".

I was working on a post for today.  However, I read something this morning that changed my plans.  And I know you'll enjoy this WAY more than what I had planned!!

The Carnival of Homeschooling is up. It's been awhile since I've had the chance to "do the carnival", but I'm happy to say that I'm finally back!

Eric Novak over at The Voice of Experience is hosting this week's Carnival and it's a great one. Check it out here!

It's definitely still winter and many of us have had to make the best of some really yucky weather in the last number of weeks.  So kick back and enjoy the 110th Edition of the Carnival of Homeschooling: The Cabin Fever Edition.

I've been desribed as a defender of homeschooling.  The description makes me proud.  I love defending what I believe in.

But, you may have noticed that my posts haven't been particularly defensive of late.  Until this. This woman just REALLY got me mad. 

When I stumbled on "Why I Would Never Homeschool My Children", I read it knowing from the title that I would probably get mad.  I never expected to be this mad!!  After reading her out-of-touch diatribe against homeschooling, I couldn't help myself.  I started typing a response.  She'll probably never read it, but it felt good just writing it!

So go take a look at this woman's ridiculous arguments, then come back and tell me what YOU think!

Here's what I would say to her if I had the opportunity:

Your arguments, largely based on your personal opinion, simply do not hold water.

I've homeschooled for 17 years. I am also a teacher.  But what qualifies me to teach my children is not that I am a teacher, but that I am a mom.  Trust me, having been both a public school teacher AND a homeschooler, I know this to be true.  No matter how good the training and the education of the teacher, no one knows your children better than you do.  In order to effectively teach every student in her classroom, a teacher must be able to discern the personality, learning style, family dynamics, emotional needs, psychiatric diagnoses and quirks of every single child in her classroom.  In one year's time, that is simply not possible. For this reason, children—many children—slip through the academic cracks in school classrooms every year. It simply cannot be avoided in a classroom where one teacher is responsible for the academic welfare of 20-30 children—many of whom have varying degrees of special needs.

As a teacher, I know that the bulk of a teacher's day is spent managing the classroom, not teaching children. Educators estimate that during the average 7 hour schoolday, less than 2 hours are spent in actually teaching/learning activities. Again...been there, done that.

Now…on to the ever popular socialization question!  The truth is, the social environment that exists in the average classroom, and that you speak so highly of, is not a healthy one.  The social environment present in the school environment places value on the popular, the strong, and the likeable.  MANY children who do not fit that bill become, at best, invisible to their peers. At worst, these children become victims of the cruelty of their peers.  I do not deny that socialization is an important part of childhood. But just like I wouldn't entrust a child who is just learning to ride a bike with the task of teaching my child to ride a bike, I also won't entrust the task of socializing my child to a classroom full of children who are equally uncivilized unsocialized. Can you say, "Blind leading the blind?"  On this I could say MUCH more...but for the sake of time, I'll move on.

Another reason you would never homeschool your children is that you think that homeschoolers live in boxes where diversity does not exist. First of all, the truth is MANY children in this country are educated in schools where there is very little diversity--culturally, economically, or otherwise.  In fact, in terms of age, the school classroom is about the least diverse environment you will ever find.  Would you call spending all day, every day in the company of children one's own age an experience in diversity?  Where in life will that ever happen again? I would contend that the average homeschooler experiences at least as much diversity as the average publicly schooled child—and in many cases—more.  It is not uncommon to hear of homeschool families engaging in cross-cultural missions trips, working in community soup kitchens, volunteering in nursing homes, etc. Most homeschool parents regularly seek out experiences that will prepare their children for life in our world. 

You based most of your arguments on your own personal opinions and on a few observations that you have made of homeschoolers that you know (or at least have seen).  But for every homeschooled child you observed practicing bad behavior, I will show you at least one publicly educated child practicing the exact same behavior. Are there biased, bigoted homeschool families?  Yes.  Are there biased, bigoted public school families? Again, yes. If you aren’t going to blame a public school child’s behavior on their public school experience, then please don’t blame a homeschooled child’s behavior on the homeschool experience. 

And give me a break with the "I have seen a home schooled child get, shall we say in a snit, at an athletic event when they were not allowed to be first up to bat.” Do you actually expect your readers to believe that you have witnessed that behavior only in homeschooled children? And this one “At home, that child was first up for everything and had no concept that there were other children at that game who deserved equal consideration."  You've got to be kidding me!  Most homeschool families have multiple children. How can any one of those children be first up for everything? They live with other children every day who deserve, and demand, equal consideration. And homeschool moms certainly don't have the time, or energy, to make any one of her children feel like the center of her universe 24/7!

So before waxing eloquent about why you wouldn't homeschool, I would suggest that you do a bit more research and a lot more observation. 

Sweeping generalizations just don't cut it in this argument!

This is the story of a family that is homeschooling...by default.  It's an unbelievable story reported by the Chicago Tribune.  Here's a brief synopsis.

Sebastian is a six-year-old first grader who lives with his single, divorced mother in Homewood, IL, a suburb of Chicago.  His mother, who has legal custody of Sebastian, is a neonatal transport nurse who works 12-hour nightshifts several times a week.  On the nights when his mother works, Sebastian sleeps at his grandmother's house in another suburb.  Then in the morning, either his father or his grandmother drive him to school, or on occassion, to the bus stop near his house in Homewood. 

According to district officials, Sebastian told "someone at school that he doesn't live in town, he just comes to school here".  After an investigation which began back in October, and evidently did not involve questioning the boy's parents, the district removed Sebastian from school on December 10th.  He has not been allowed to return.  Authorities in Beecher, IL, where Sebastian's dad lives, will not allow Sebastian to attend school there, because his dad is not the "residential parent".  And Homewood WILL NOT back down.  Never mind the fact that Sebastian spends the majority of his nights at home with his mother in a Homewood house owned by his tax-paying great-grandmother.  Never mind that the reason he doesn't sleep in Homewood every night is that his mother is a hard-working single mother.  Never mind that the Illinois State Board of Education bases residency on the parent who has legal custody.  Never mind logic. 

So Sebastian is being homeschooled while his parents try to force his school district to give him an education. 

Unbelievable. 

If this was just an individual case, it would be just that, an unbelievable story. 

But this story is important for a much bigger reason.  In fact, Homewood's seemingly illogical stand is somewhat justified.  Parents all over the country are violating residency rules and attempting to cheat their way into good schools and school districts.  Homewood alone removes 20-25 "border jumpers" from their schools each year.  In this case the parents weren't cheating.  Sebastian should be a student at Willow School in Homewood.  But he got caught in the big net created to catch kids whose parents are just trying to get them a decent education.

Sebastian's misfortune simply highlights one of the biggest flaws in our government-run school system.  And one of the reasons that MANY Americans homeschool!

Parents want their kids to receive a good education.  That's not too much to ask of a system that gobbles up millions of our tax dollars every year, is it?  But as illogical as it may seem, in a consumer-driven economy which thrives on competition, when it comes to the education of our children, we quietly accept mediocrity without demanding something better.  Parents watch helplessly, year after year, as inept administrators and educators take their hard-earned money, and with it, completely fail their children. It's ridiculous. 

The solution is a simple one.  Give parents a choice.  Let schools (and businesses that cater to homeschoolers) compete for our tax dollars.  Instead of forcing the child to follow the tax dollars, let's let the tax dollars, in the form of vouchers, follow the child.  Bad schools will die for lack of business, just like a store with bad management or a restaurant with lousy service inevitably dies.  And a school that consistently serves its customers well, will not only survive, but will thrive.  Kids will be the big winners.  Sounds logical doesn't it? 

So why do educators, and the politicians who they support, consistently, and loudly, block legislation that would bring competition to our nation's schools? 

It's simple. 

It's ALL about the money.

• Please ask me how my children came to be such pleasant, polite, and happy children.
  

• Please stop my children and ask them how much they LOVE being homeschooled.  And go ahead, ask if they want "go to school".  I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by their answer!
  

• Please ask me about the MANY different homeschooling methods that can be employed by homeschooling families!  But do so cautiously, you just might find a method that fits you!
  

• Please judge homeschooling on it's MANY merits rather than on it's occasional downsides.
  

• Please investigate the MANY reasons given for choosing to homeschool. You might even find a reason why YOU should homeschool!
  

• Please believe that making the decision to homeschool is a difficult one and that few homeschoolers make the decision lightly.
  

• Please understand that a parent's relationship with her (or his) children uniquely qualifies her to be her children's teacher.  With this relationship comes a great ability to discern a child's unique needs.  A mother's love for her children also gives her the patience to find the BEST way to teach them.
  

• Please ask me how much algebra I remembered before I started teaching my children.  Then ask me why that didn't keep me from being a good algebra teacher.
  

• Please ask about all the opportunities that homeschoolers have to engage in learning outside the home.

• Please ask me where you can learn more about the laws of homeschooling in your state so that you will know how easy it is to homeschool in most states.

• Please ask me how much I love being my children's teacher. 
  

• Please remember that children have unique personalities which occur in spite of how they are educated. 
  

• Please base your opinions of my children on who they are as people...not on how they are being educated.
  

• Please assume that I am just like you.

• Please be willing to at least consider homeschooling as an option for your own children.

• Please remind me to be as gracious to you regarding your educational choices as I have asked you to be regarding mine!
  

• And finally, however you choose to educate your children, please have a wonderful Christmas!!

"Defending home schooling is a theme in many of your blogs....I am curious as to why you have such a need to defend home schooling. My curiosity comes from the fact that I almost never have to defend our decision to teach our children at home. It is obvious from what you have shared on your blog that you are a very successful home schooler. I guess I assume that with success comes...peace of mind? I would love to read more of your thoughts on this subject."

"I guess I assume that with success comes...peace of mind?"