Reforming Motherhood

After lunch and story time we have “quiet time” at our house.  This is a time in which, theoretically, everyone is quiet for a period of one to two hours (preferably two).  My youngest (nearly two) goes down first, and then I bring our three-year old to his bed.  Then my daughter (five) supposedly plays quietly in the living room while I get to go to my bedroom, crawl onto the bed with my journal, Bible and a snack.  And after that, read my book or take a nap and have, ah!… quiet. 

Theoretically. 

A couple of things have made me revisit this whole area.

First, my daughter’s quiet time is very quiet, but she interrupts me frequently.  When she’s in the living room she pops in every 5-10 minutes to keep me informed of what she’s doing or has done, or she wanders in to ask the dreaded, “Now what should I do?”  And she goes through seasons (this being a long one of them) where she requests to sit beside me while I have my quiet time.  And I know I could be stern about it and stick by the "rules", but then… there she is, clutching her Bible story-book and her “journal” and pen, and longing to be like mommy.  What can I say?  So, I say yes, and there she sits, quietly, but then every few minutes whispering, “Look at what I wrote, mommy.”  Or, “I’m reading about Sampson today, see?”  Very cute.  And yet, I miss having that time all to myself. 

The other factor is that I’m wondering if my three-year old is ready to stop taking his nap.  (My wonderings are based on the fact that when I put him down, it takes him a good hour to go to sleep and then he lies awake for a couple of hours after we put him down at nighttime.)  Sigh.  I am not eager to part with his nap, and yet… I fear the time has come.  But if he is done with napping, then we need to move into a quiet time for him, too, which makes me revisit what is and isn’t working for our existing quiet time.  And it’s not working.

So.  To all of you mamas who have quiet times at your house with pre-readers, what are you doing that works for you?  Do you gather materials/projects/books/puzzles beforehand so that they are occupied?  Do you set a timer?  Do you discipline when they interrupt?  Do you ever let them join you?  Tell me what is/has worked and also what hasn’t worked, so that I can avoid those!

Yesterday as my husband came home from work, I met him– not at the door, but outside– with tears and this: "I’m running away from home!"

Needless to say, we’ve had a difficult week.  Both Monday and Tuesday night this week Mark and I had to leave the kids and drive two hours away to attend some adoption classes, sit through the hour and a half class to drive another two hours home.  We knew this would be a difficult month.  We have a number of these classes to attend, and I figured it would take a toll on all of us.  It has.  I am tired, impatient, irritable, crabby, and emotional.  The kids, out of their routine– are tired, whiny, argumentative, prone to fits and tantrums, and emotional.  Like I said, I’m ready to run away from home. 

It is times like this that I become very grumbly and my thoughts very me-centered:  "I need a break."  "What about me?"   "I need some sleep."  "I don’t want to do this right now."  "I’m so tired of this."  Things like that.  Oh, and thoughts like: "These kids are driving me absolutely crazy!" 

And all day yesterday God was urging me to choose joy.  You know what?  I didn’t.  I knew that’s what I needed to do, but I am stubborn and would much rather wallow in self-pity. 

Today I’m going to obey, though.  I am headed now to turn on some worship songs and sing.  And put a smile on my face.  And regardless of whether I get a nap or a break or rest, and even IF my children continue their behavior, I am choosing joy today.

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***UPDATE***  Thank you, readers, for your prayers and empathy!  It was a good day!  After posting this entry I went upstairs and had a tickle-fest with my boys on the bed.  And spent the rest of the day delighting in little things, like my three-year old licking the frosting off of his valentine cookie.  For a full half-hour (!)  AND I did get a break, too.