Generally, I'd consider mind games to be a negative thing but... I have one that I play with myself all the time.  Just gonna share a secret about me... that I don't even know if my husband knows.  On the same vein as 'expectations'... here is my secret for overcoming them.

I 'pretend'.  Yep, I do.  I tell myself that I am a single mom.  If I don't take responsibility for what needs to be done and do it, or see that it is done, it won't be... and I'll answer for it.  I tell myself that I run a boarding house.  I have one boarder, my husband.  But... he's a paying guest in the home.  I expect nothing of him because he pays for his keep!  If I owned a B&B I woudln't expect my guests to make me dinner, do the laundry for me or take the van in for servicing.  If I was a single mom, I'd do it all myself... AND try to make his stay the BEST I could... so he'd want to stick around.

Do I do this because my husband is some kind of ogre?  Do I do it because he lets me down daily?  OF course not!  I do it when I realize that I am being extra selfish and not serving my family. 

I have a very loving serving husband.  Honestly, he treats me like royalty.  My wish his his command in so far as it is possible for him.  It disgusts me how unappreciative I am for him sometimes.  He works long hours to provide financially for us.  He comes home and whatever I haven't done, or seen to it that is done, he attempts to do as well.  Then, when we both drop the ball, he tries to juggle his balls, mine, and the result is exhaustion and burn out for him... but guess who is the one who feels burned out the most?

Me.  Explain that one.  BUT, when I put on my 'single mom' hat...  the one that reminds me that I rely on the Lord alone for my help and my strength, I quit leaving my balls rolling around for my husband to keep in line as he juggles his too.

I don't usually keep this up for days on end but I have once.  Often it's a momentary thing.  I need something, and in my mind, I have something better to do than this 'something'... so I ask hubby to do it.  The killer is when for whatever reason, he says no.  It's so rare it isn't funny but it does happen... that is when I most put on that hat.  I try to work my attitude into gear, remind myself that "I am a single mom, I can't get frustrated that my husband won't do my work for me, I don't have one..."  And then I go and try to do it cheerfully.  I fail a lot... but it's a lot better than when I let something important fall by the wayside because I was too lazy to do my job.

The side effect of this, is it makes me appreciate my husband all the more.  I realize, once again, how much he does to serve me.  I am so incredibly blessed... and really, I shouldn't need mind games to make me do my job... but mind games on yourself is better than the alternative... wouldn't you say?