Chatty's Fence Post - Havig Haven Inn

Oct. 15, 2005

Havig Haven Inn

Posted in Wifery

Today, I realized that I don't run a "Bed and Breakfast" when I'm in my single mom mode... I run a boarding house! Dinner is the big meal in our home and huggy is home for it. This is the big difference between Bed and Breakfast and a boarding house. I need to rethink my frame of reference.

Why does it matter? Why is it such a big deal to have the right 'title'??? Well, boarding houses do serve breakfast but their primary focus is on dinner. Bed and Breakfasts don't serve dinner as a general rule. And you see, I have this problem, I forget dinner. A lot. There are many nights when huggy comes home, asks what is for dinner, and even if I have something on a planned menu... that doesn't mean I took it out and got it defrosting. It's a huge weakness of mine. BUT... if my livelihood depended upon having a meal that is healthy and tasty in order to keep my 'customers' happy, I'd make it a much bigger priority. I wouldn't LET myself forget. I'd show self-discipline that I tend to think I don't have.

WOW. It always boils down to the same thing. If it is truly a priority, we make it happen. If it isn't a priority, we tend to forget about it. My little mind game has a whole new focus. I'm fascinated.

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Comments

Oct. 16, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Would you write about this some more? I need to do this. Could you give advice on something along this topic- I see how it would work in most cases, but suppose the children are rude to my husband and he doesn't do anything...now if they were rude to a boarding house guest, I would take them out of the room & take care of things. But if it is my husband, is it usurping his authority to do that? Should I assume it is delegated to me if he doesn't do anything, or should I assume he isn't doing anything because he doesn't want anything done, or how can I ask without sounding like I'm criticizing his inaction?
thanks,
Hope R.

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Oct. 16, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Posted by drewsfamilytx

Funny...I LOVE big breakfasts but am waaaay too tired to do a big spread that early in the morning! You go, super momma!

I've really been praying and thinking about my priorities lately as well (again!). It's amazing how something so simple can be so complicated to us at times. For example, how hard is it to keep this simple list of priorities in the correct order?

1. God
2. dh
3. kids
4. everything else!

It seems that #4 creeps up the list every now and then...and even sometimes all the way up to the top! Yikes-- now that is embarrassing to admit.

Have fun running your boarding house! I hope it's a very profitable business for you. ;-)

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Oct. 16, 2005 - <i>Untitled Comment</i>

Posted by

Well remember, you probably wouldn't allow them to be disrespectful of other authorities in their lives. IF you would correct their treatment of a pastor or policeman or school teacher (ssshhhh didn't hear me say THAT) why not say... "That is not respectful of your father... you speak correctly to or about your father!"

I'd first, when the situation is normal, all is well, and hubby is not focused on something else, ask him if he minds if you correct the children when they are disrespectful of him. Tell him that you haven't because you didn't want to usurp his authority but it occured to you that you wouldn't allow them to be disrespectful to the pastor or a policeman and both are authorities so perhaps it is not out of line for you to put a stop to it.

My guess is, most hubby's won't mind. They'll say 'whatever' or 'thanks, I'd like that' or, ' if it makes you happy' or something and go for it. IF he doesn't... and he tells you to mind your own business and let him handle the kids when they're talking to him... THEN... you should work HARD at training them to be respectful when he's not around. "This is how we speak to our father when he says something... let's practice, Johnny, you be daddy and Samuel you be Johnny's son. What if..." And go from there.

My mother's example is beautiful here. She married a man with teen aged and almost teen aged children. They came wanting to rip their mother. They wanted to find fault in someone and get mom's sympathy. Mom didn't allow it. They'd say something against their mother and no matter how TRUE their comment was, mom's reaction was always, "She's your mother. Don't talk like that about your mother." Over and over, consistantly NEVER allowing disrespect made to their mother. They love and respect my mom now. And it started when she taught them how by teaching them to respect their mother even when she wasn't respectABLE.

The same is true of myself and my father. For a few years there... he made some terrible mistakes. The things he did hurt our family but you know... mom NEVER let me vent and say something disrespectful about Dad... and I was an adult with my own children at that time. "He's your father." That's all she said but it was enough.

"He's your father." Those words were a gentle but very firm reminder that respect for position does not necessitate respect of the PERSON. But... just to make sure there is no doubt, I DO respect my father. I couldn't have asked for a better one but I will say, a lesser woman would have let a self-centered child (and all chidlren are to a degree) focus on my father's (and all fathers have them) failings. Focusing on those, I wouldn't have been able to learn from him... and there is so much to learn from my father.

I'm too lazy to look it up but the proverb that says ... "A man who has found a wife has found a good thing." or something like that... it was written for my mom. Dad picked out the best... and mom didn't do too shabby either. ;)

Edited by sewingfanatic on Oct. 16, 2005 at 2:01 PM

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Oct. 16, 2005 - sorry,, you can't use "Haven"

Posted by hippiechyck

since dear son of mine renamed my blog for me...so maybe "hostel"???

;-0 ;-) ;-) ;-)

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Oct. 21, 2005 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

thank you, on behalf of all the residents of our "boarding house"
it's going well
Hope R.

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About Me

Where I make people scratch their heads with my bizarre and slightly scary ability to write but not publish novels and childrens fantasy, sew boutique clothing but not clean up my mess, ineffectively homeschool 9 children and rattle off obscure songs faster than the speed of sound - all at the same time. With no kitchen cabinets... but finally an OVEN!!!. Ain't it the life?