Description
Just learning to be who I am..but still trying to find out who that is.
Love my kids, of which I have 6
Some are now homeschooled, and some are not.
Working, going to school, and trying to be there for everyone and everything.
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All in a days work...
Or not. I was off today and had a plan to get so many things done. Which I didn't. I read a book..all of it today.
What did I do?
Well, I did a few loads of laundry, but did not finish it.
cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner
Had to walk to pick up my daughter from school...that was tough.
Helped kids with school work, gave kids bath and then put them to bed.
What I didn't do...
Scripture study and family prayer
Clean bathrooms. Sweep and mop the whole house
Finish laundry, sort and put away ALL the clothes
clean the fridge and finish cleaning the kitchen.
What I wanted to do...
QUIT MY JOB.
ok, ok, I know i was whining for weeks about getting a job, needing more money, helping my hubby.
I knew what I was getting into..but now that I am into it...I want to be home again. BUT..I want the money too. How to do that?
There is no way!!
Sigh...
Also, I wanted to clarify the last post.
I have mellowed out with the feeling about my mother. No more huge highs and lowest of lows. Now it just....there.
I love speaking to her, but realize that we have no foundation for a life long relationship.
So, now I just want to go back and have my life with no obligations.
Is that fair? Probably not.
I searched for her and found her. Does that mean I have to continue the relationship?
She wants a relationship, a long term one. I wanted one? But not like this. Not a relationship made up on only phone calls. Nope, I don't want that. We will never get to know each other like that. Never.
What is my obligation? What do I have to do? I don't know!!
I don't want to hurt her, but I can't just call and talk about the weather.
I don't even want her to come visit me anymore, after she has canceled the last two times she was supposed to come. Or was it three, I don't even remember.
Well..again. What am I obligated to do.
What do daughters do? I really have no idea how to proceed from here. None at all.
So, what do I do now?
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Posted: 11:32 PM, Sep. 24, 2008 |
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