Tuesday, July 1, 2008 - WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce
A 2 lb. bag of coffee,
And 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to
check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she
placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk
calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but
she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she
was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the
belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her
marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said: 'Well,
you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth
did you know that?'
The drunk replied, ''Cause you're ugly."
<$@MU3!>
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Tuesday, July 1, 2008 - Brain Transplant
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their
family member lay gravely ill.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
" I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the
worried faces.
"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain
transplant.
It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope.
Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the
brain yourselves."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great
length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"
The doctor quickly responded, " $5000 for a male brain, and $ 200 for
a
female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding
eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man unable to
control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,
"Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire
group, "It's just standard pricing procedure.
We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've
actually been used."
<$@MU3!>
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - Random questions to think bout
Can you Cry Under Water?
Why Does a round pizza come in a Square Box??
Do the Alphabet & Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegitables, whats baby oil made of?
Why are you IN a movie but ON TV?
Why are we "head over heals" when we're happy, just that the way we normally are?
Why can Goofy stand & pluto is on all fours when they're both dogs?
Why doesn't the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?
Why do dogs it when you blow in thier face, but love sticking thier head out the car window?
If you own land, do you own it to the center of the earth?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do penguins have knees?
Why do we drive on a parkway, but park in the driveway?
Why is an alarm clock "going off" when its really coming on?
If electricity comes from electrons, does Morality come from morons?
When bald people work as chefs, do they have to wear hair nets?
Why say "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
If you only had one eye, are you blinking or winking?
Why dont you ever see baby pigeons?
Why is it called "after dark" when its really after light?
Repost if u think this is funny...
$@mu3!
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - U know you live in 2008 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn’t even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
I fell for this too!!
$@mu3!
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Saturday, May 31, 2008 - I Got Tagged.
I was tagged by whatsup14.
Directions:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
1.HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? Switchfoot - Meant To Live
2.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Skillet - Collide
3.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Skillet - The Older I Get
4.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Switchfoot - This Is Your Life
5.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Thousand Foot Krutch - Phenomenon
6.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Skillet - My Obsession
7.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Skillet - Forsaken
8.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Krystal Meyers- The beauty of grace
9.WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING? Relient K - Jesus I Pray
10.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Linkon Park - In the end
11.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Anberlin - Paperthin Hymm
12.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Skillet - Rebirthing
13.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Skillet - Comatose
14: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF TAGGING 5 PEOPLE? Skillet - A Little More
$@mu3!
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Sunday, May 25, 2008 - A li'l someth'n about me.
"(x)" = yes
"()" = no
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
> () Gone on a blind date
> () Skipped school
> () Watched someone die
> (x) Been to Canada
> () Been to Mexico
> (x) Been to Florida
> () Been on a plane
> (x) Been lost
> (x) Been on the opposite side of the country
> (x) Gone to Washington, DC
> (x) Swam in the ocean
> () Cried yourself to sleep
> (x) Played cops and robbers
> () Recently colored with crayons
> () Sang Karaoke
> () Paid for a meal with coins only
> (x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
> (x) Made prank phone calls
> () Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
> (x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
> () Danced in the rain
> () Been kissed under the mistletoe
> () Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
> (x) Blown bubbles
> (x) Gone ice-skating
> () Been skinny dipping outdoors
> (x) Gone to the movies
> () got a speeding ticket
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
1. Any nickname? $@mu3!
2. Favorite drink? Milk
3. Mother's name? Tammy
4. Tattoo? nope
5. Body Piercing? nope
6. How much do you love your job? A lot
7. Birthplace? Texas
8: Favorite vacation spot. Tennessee. lol
9. Ever been to Africa ? nope
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner?
11. Ever been on TV? yep
12. Ever steal any traffic sign? What... no.
13. Ever been in a car accident? nope
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? nope
15. Favorite salad dressing ? Ranch
16. Favorite pie? Pumpkin Pie
17. Favorite number? 7
18. Favorite movie? Master of Disguise
19. Favorite holiday? Christmas
20. Favorite dessert? Ice-cream
21. Favorite food? Mac & cheese, cheese pizza, & grilled cheese. :-)
22. Favorite day of the week? Any day I get 2 i.m. Chelsea (whatsup14) :-)
23. Favorite brand of body wash? Old Spice™
24. Favorite toothpaste? Aim™
25. Favorite smell? Food. lol
26. What do you do to relax? Play Halo™
$@mu3!
PS: Update u'r blog 2day with u'r answers in the blanks instead of mine. :-D
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - Bad news.
Hey,
Guess what? The people next door turned their Wi-Fi off, so now I can't check my mail with my PSP 24 7 any more. Now I have to use our slow dial-up. I know my updates are short, but I'm tring 2 make them longer. =)
$@mu3!
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Tuesday, May 6, 2008 - Sorry I have not updated my blog in so long.
Hello,
Sorry I have not updated my blog in so long. Our computer had a virus on it, so we formated it. =( Well, I have to go yo bed now.
S@mu3!
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Wednesday, April 23, 2008 - Hello!!!!!!!!
Hello readers,
This is my new blog, I have never done 1 b4. =) I will try 2 see what other things I can do with my blog.
$@mu3!
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About Me
He really does. :-)
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