Rethinking Teen Ministry
Oct. 30, 2006 at 6:17 PM
family
Our family has chosen a more family integrated approach to discipling our children. I shared our thoughts on youth ministry here.Youth ministers have been on a long and frustrating quest of their own over the past two decades or so. Believing that a message wrapped in pop-culture packaging was the way to attract teens to their flocks, pastors watered down the religious content and boosted the entertainment. But in recent years churches have begun offering their young people a style of religious instruction grounded in Bible study and teachings about the doctrines of their denomination. Their conversion has been sparked by the recognition that sugarcoated Christianity, popular in the 1980s and early '90s, has caused growing numbers of kids to turn away not just from attending youth-fellowship activities but also from practicing their faith at all.
As the exodus has increased, churches are trying to reverse the flow by focusing less on amusement and more on Scripture.
I also like the way Voddie Baucham says it,
God has given us a mechanism for multi-generational faithfulness and that mechanism is the family. And so one of the things the Church must do is to rediscover and re-emphasize the importance of the family as that disciplingTaking "multi-generational faitfulness" to heart, these grandparents have taken on the task of homeschooling their grandchildren. "
agent and build up the family because that is what's crumbling.
When someone in the fourth grade asked my grandson Justin if he wanted drugs, I said, 'You've got to stop, I'm pulling you out and teaching you at home,'" He saidI'm sure some folks are thinking that these seniors are off their rocker to take this on. And they'd literally be right. Why just sit around in some retirement village all day? My hats off to them, for showing that it doesn't take a village, but a family to educate children. Mary Nix has a few more links to other grandparent homeschool stories.
(HT: Al Mohler for the TIME article.)
Speaking of teens, this teen e-zine looks at apathy in our culture.
He Said, She Said
Aug. 25, 2006 at 4:08 PM
family
Michael Noer said,
Guys: A word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career.But that set working women in a tizzy. So they brought in Elizabeth Corcoran. She said,
So guys, if you're game for an exciting life, go ahead and marry a professional gal.Sorry Ms. Corcoran, but Mr. Noer won this debate in our home. We're encouraging our boys to follow his advice with the addition that they also marry a Christian. An we're encouraging our daughters to choose home when their heart is swept away by the man of their dreams. I'm sure that sounds pretty narrow minded, but it's the way we see it. A house divided cannot stand.
And I have to say, our lives are pretty exciting as well.
We may not be "beaching it" in Maui, or "hitting the slopes" of Vail; and no, we don't have a cleaning lady to do wash the bathrooms while we trade office gossip over dinners out. But we're not exactly lacking in excitement ourselves. Like the day I taught my child to read, and he hugged my neck and said, "Oh thank you, momma! Now I can read the Bible for myself." Or the day my husband carried our sixth child into the waiting arms of her five siblings. I gotta say, those were pretty exciting days. No match for an office meeting I'm sure. But exciting to us.
They'll be time enough for exciting mountain adventures and oceanside retreats long after our children are grown and gone. After all, they haven't changed much in the last couple hundred years. A few more years won't matter too much. But children, you blink and they've grown four inches!
And the working world, it'll just have to get along without me I guess. I'm sure there are enough women out there who wouldn't want the drudgery of my life to more than make up for my absence. I'm sure of one other thing too. No secretary or school teacher will ever take my place as wife and mother.
My heart is a home with my family. And my husband, he seems pretty glad he didn't marry a career woman.
So which advice are you going to give your children, Michaels or Elizabeth's?
You can read more about my decision to leave the working world for home at my post, Choosing Home.
(HT: Bibilical Womanhood)
Related Tags: Mommy Wars, parenting, homeschooling, home school, Forbes, Michael Noer, Elizabeth Corcoran
The New Term For Mom
Aug. 18, 2006 at 10:47 AM
family
Christianity Today writer Leslie Leyland Fields has heard it said too. She wasn't pleased either.
I first heard the word in my college classroom a few years ago. I was an assistant professor of English at a state university, and, not incidentally, the mother of five children at the time. We were doing the usual around-the-room introductions in this opening class, which served as my forecast and early warning system for the upcoming semester. Several of the women had listed their occupations, their passions, and then mentioned they were also mothers. Then it was Rosalyn's turn. "Hi, I'm Rosalyn, and I've been a truck driver and a commercial fisherman, and I'm not a breeder." Everyone looked at me, silent, eyes wide. I smiled out of reflex, but suddenly it hit my brain like a smart bomb: A breeder? So that's the term now! Like dogs or horses, purely animal-species survival.Undeterred, Fields, a mother of 6, goes on to make "the case for kids".
What happens in larger families? Children are more tolerant. They learn that they are one part of a whole much larger than themselves and that the common good usually takes precedence over their particular desires. They also discover the principle of scarcity; they learn to conserve. Their clothes are on loan and passed on to others when they are done. They have to share their toys. They cannot take more food than they can eat, or someone else will not have enough. They can't take long, hot showers, or someone else gets a cold shower. They learn that their singular behavior affects multiple people. They are not the center of the universe.So true. Our culture tricks us into believing that life is about us and disaprage what mothers do with their silly names. But I don't worry about what they say too much. I'm not a mom to win their approval. I've got higher aspirations.
It's just a matter of WHO you're living for.Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Psalm 127:3-5
So, let the world call us breeders in our kennels.
As for me and my house, WE will serve the Lord. And that makes me blessed.
Related Tags: Mommy Wars, mother, motherhood, parenting, homeschooling, home school, education
Free Lunch For Kids
Jun. 21, 2006 at 9:01 AM
family
In celebration of the first day of summer on June 21st, Panera Bread is providing a "Today I'm Taking Mom to Lunch at Panera Bread!" coupon, inviting kids to take Mom to lunch to thank them for all their hard work!It's basically a "buy a meal get a kids meal free coupon" to roll out their kids menu. My children take me out to Panera at least once a month. (All I have to do is pretend to have a really bad day!) Today, I think I'll return the favor and treat a few of them.
Here's to you, Linda Hirshman
Jun. 19, 2006 at 7:07 AM
family
I was raised in the 70's in a suburb just minutes from downtown Detroit. I vaguely remember the '68 riots and vividly remember the day Nixon resigned. Abortion became legal. And in the era of ERA (Equal Rights Amendment) and the feminine mystique, women were declaring their independence. Ant that is exactly the way I was raised. To be self sufficient and ready to tackle life head on. My dad used to introduce me to his collegues as "the future president of IBM". That sounded nice, but there was one problem - I was not very outgoing. A true wall flower. In high school, I would have been voted "the girl most likely to be forgotten" had anyone remembered to vote for me. But I got good grades and did what I was told. That was enough to keep me out of trouble and get me into the Universityof Michigan.
When I left home, I told my parents that I was going to college to get a degree. And if by chance I decided to get married, it would be to a doctor. That way, we could live in a large house and I would never see him only his money. And I would be free to pursue my own interests.
God had other ideas.
I gave my life to Christ my first year there. Through excellent discipleship and fellowship God was able to root out many false notions that had been deposited in my youth. Christ also gave me an inner confidence that I had lacked. But I held firm on marriage. It wasn't for me. Many others were there for an "Mrs." degree but I was all business. I majored in computers. This suited my logical and analaytical skills fairly well. And as an added bonus, the corporations were hungry for women in this field so I figured finding a job would be easy after graduation.
But then I had to go and meet Steve. So marriage was for me after all. We met in January of 84, my junior year. He was dating someone else and had recently become a Christian. I had no time for a social life. I was working 2 jobs and with my studies I didn't want to think about a serious relationship. God, however, had other plans. By September he was available and by October we were engaged. I couldn't believe it. (And neither could he.) We set a date for May 31, 1986.
This was also the time when I took my first "real" job as a computer sales representative for a company in our area. I quickly excelled. I was earning nearly $4000 a month selling computers. The PC industry was booming and so was my career. Full steam ahead. Maybe I would be president of IBM after all. But then came the choice.
Choosing Home
We had been married about 6 months. With graduation finally behind me, I was free to build a career in the growing computer industry. Steve also took his first job as a sales representative for a trucking company. We both loved what were doing but something didn't seem quite right to me. We would go to work, come home in the evening, eat, catch up on stuff, fall into bed exhausted, and wake up to do it all over again. I began to pray that God would lead me in the ways he desired. I made a commitment when we were married to do everything I could to make Steve successful and not be a hinderance to God's plans for him. But I felt like that's what I was becoming. My career was taking up more and more of my time and I had less time to focus on being his wife. I realized that if it came down to a choice between my husband needing me at home on a given day and my boss needing me at work I would probably choose the job over my husband. After all I reasoned, Steve's a grown man. He can take care of himself. But the tug was still there despite my best efforts to pretend otherwise. I needed to put my marriage ahead of my career even before I had a child to care for. I discussed with Steve my decision to leave my career behind. He was very supportive. We had previously decided that I would work until we had children. This change would mean a substantial loss of income. Steve encouraged me to do what God was leading me to do.
So one Monday morning, I went into my boss's office and put in my notice. He was stunned. He questioned why I would leave such a lucrative job and the beginnings of a great career just to be a help mate to my husband. I didn't expect him to understand but his bewilderment was slightly unsettling. He tried to convince me to stay. I felt somewhat doubtful myself to be honest. This did seem kind of foolish. But in the end I knew that I had to "choose home" and trust where God desired me to be. So I held firm and told him I couldn't be persuaded to stay.
Later that same day, my boss came over to my desk. He asked if I could watch the office for a little while. He seemed kind of agitated. I asked if everything was okay with their newborn daughter. He said yes she was fine but that the babysitter didn't show up and his wife needed to go to work. She needed him to come and watch the baby and find a replacement. As the words were leaving his lips, his face showed a new understanding of my decision. He realized I was choosing to go home to support my husband while his wife was choosing to leave. He got it and I never had to explain my convictions to him again. I had chosen to be home, where a wife needs to be.
As for my boss, I found out years later that he and his wife were divorced. For some reason that didn't surprise me. Women cannot have it all.
In saying so, I probably won't win many popularity contests with the "in" crowd. But that's okay I've gotten kind of used to being the girl most likely to be forgetten anyway.
Related Tags: Mommy Wars, Linda Hirshman, Washington Post, Feminism, Betty Friedan, Christianity, culture, motherhood
More on Home Churches
Jun. 10, 2006 at 8:20 AM
family
This week I posted on Home Churches. A very interesting discussion / debate took place on my other blog regarding that whole issue. (There's over 100 comments.) If you have ever wondered about what the bible says about church, elders, and the gathering of the believers; you may find this discussion helpful. Here's the link. Note: This blog looks exactly the same as this one, so don't too confused.
Related Tags: Washington Post, Home church, homeschooling, culture, religion, faith
Supper Swapping Book Give Away
May. 11, 2006 at 4:10 PM
family
Scott Somerville recently asked a group of homeschoolers the question. "If Jesus returned tomorrow which part of homeschooling would you give up?" If I had been in the audience I wouldn't have given the answer a second thought.
Cooking.
Now some may balk at my answer and say, cooking isn't really part of homeschooling. (Not you homesteaders, of course!) But that's not true around here. Just try teaching your son biology while every cell in his body is craving food. No, my sister said it best, "Homeschooling would be a lot more fun if I didn't have to constantly feed them." (She's a homeschooling mom of 7.)
It's not that I don't enjoy cooking. I do. But with everything going on some days, I just don't want to think about "what's for dinner?" Susan Thacker is aiming to fix that. She's written a new book called Supper Swapping.
Supper Swapping is defined as an arrangement to trade fresh meals with one friend for the benefit of two households...
Each person selects one cooking day a week. On that day the assigned cook delivers two meals to the recipient. By the end of the school/work week, you will each have four meals with typically enough leftovers for one day.
The theory sounds simple enough. It's the practical application that needs a little refining for us. After all, cooking enough for a family of 8 has its own set of rules. Susan has those covered in the a section called "Exploring Variations of Supper Swapping." She suggests co-op cooking. That's what my friend and I are planning on doing. She's just built a new home with a large gourmet kitchen. Between the two of us and our daughters we're hoping to eliminate meal prep for a few meals each week.
Susan's book also provides recipes by master chef's from around the country. Some of the recipes were a bit much for my taste. But I do enjoy the challenge of a new recipe and ingredients occassionally. Most receipes were quite doable. My 12 year old daughter made the Grilled Lemon Rosemary Chicken (page 132) and we all gave it two thumbs up. She's eager to try out even more of the recipes as well.
So even if I can't give up cooking completely, it's nice to know there are women out there like Susan who are thinking of ways to make it more manageable. As soon as my friend get's her kitchen in order, I'll let you know how our swap goes.
In the meantime, I'd love to hear your suggestions for meal planning, quick lunches, or funny food stories. If you have any favorite websites to share pass those along as well.
I don't plan on turning this blog into a recipe blog. But I love new cookbooks. Susan graciously provided her book to me for review and I couldn't pass it up.
She'd also like me to give another one away to a reader. So I'll select one commenter at random to win a copy of Susan's new book. I'll pick a winner tomorrow evening. Even if you don't have a tip to share, go ahead and leave a comment to enter the contest.
There are more great suggestions at my other blog as well.
Perfect Attendance
Apr. 28, 2006 at 8:56 AM
family
I had perfect attendance most of my K-12 academic career. I think I missed less than 5 days. Most were in third grade, the year I had eye surgery. I didn't miss any in high school. And what did I get for all my hard work? A certificate. That's it. Big deal. Or so I thought. The certificates were always awarded at a little end-of-the year ceremony. It wasn't anything fancy but mom insisted on coming. She was one of only a few that bothered. Faithfully, she came to them all. I can still see her in my mind's eye sitting in the back of the gym anxiously waiting for one of her children's names to be called so she could applaud. Mom didn't just gently tap her hands together either. She clapped loudly. Loud enough so everyone in the next county knew she was there.
One year a friend asked me, "Why does your mom come to these? They're really nothing special."
I shrugged, "I dunno, nothing better to do I guess."
Nothing better to do? What was I thinking? I mean, what else does a mom with 5 children all within a year of each other have to do with her time?
Never-the-less, she always showed up. And it continued day after day, year after year. She was there to witness my graduation from high school. Graduation from college. My wedding. The birth of my first, second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth...Mom was there for them all. She always stayed extra days to help out too.
One time, she even came back the next day with a smile after I kicked her out for some dumb reason. (I was severely post partum, 'nuf said!)
She wasn't just there for the momentous but the mundane as well. Doctor's appointments. Small get-a-ways. Laundry day. And yes, dumb awards ceremonies in elementary school.
Perfect attendance.
How I wish I could go back in time and answer my friend's question all over again.
"Why does my mom come to these?
"Because she loves me. That's why."
My certificates for perfect attendance are faded and gone. But the memory of a faithful mother and a lifetime of lessons in motherhood, those I will cherish forever.
Thanks mom, it is you who deserves the award for forty-three years of perfect attendance. I don't have a silly certificate to give you and there is no stage to walk across. But I stand up today and applaud you. Loud enough for everyone in the next county to hear. I am honored to be your daughter. I rise up and call you blessed.
With love.
Spunky
(Spunky's Note: This is my entry in Heather's Mother's Day writing contest to honor our mothers. The deadline is May 1. Looking for more inspiration? Her comments is full of links to other entries.)
