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Apr. 10, 2008
My daughter Kara
| I promised to talk about my daughter Kara this time. Kara will be 17 in May. She was only 2 years old when I left her father and during those 2 years she rarely even saw him because of how much he traveled. Yet, she is the one with the most scars. She has known her stepfather since she was 2 but he can not love her enough to take away the pain of her abandonment by her real dad. Brian has tried over the years to keep in touch with her but he usually ends up lying to her and then she cuts him off. I try to explain to her that he is just not capable of anything more but over the years her heart has become very hard to him.
I started homeschooling Kara in 7th grade. I wish I would have taken her out of school sooner because she was in long enough to be exposed to things I wish she wouldn't have been but she has never regretted being at home. She hated school and everything it stood for.
This year has been hard because she met a boy at church who is 19 years old and wants to date her. We didn't allow her to and it has caused a lot of tension. Last year I wanted her to start going to youth group at our church and meet some other girls her age. Boy was that a mistake because the only person she really liked was this boy. My husband and I do not believe in teenagers dating and that has been a hard one for us because our society is so geared for teenagers to become involved with opposite sex. All of my friends thought we were nuts for not allowing her to date this boy. But we knew that God did not want us to and we had to stand by it.
The good news is that she is getting over him and realizing that it was not a good idea. She will be a senior next year and I want her to be emotionally ready before she starts dating. The argument I get from everyone is that no one is emotionally ready to start dating. Then I argue that a 16 year old dating is not as emotionally ready as someone 18 or 19 because they have had years to grow up.
Our oldest son dated a girl from 9th grade to 12th grade against our wishes. What could we do because he was in school. They ended up hurting each other so much during this time frame that even though they are no longer together they both carry the scars from those years. They will take those hurts into any relationships they have from here on out and how fair is that to the person who they will eventually marry.
Society says that everyone has scars and that is probably true because you carry the scars of your parents' mistakes but I think it is our job to minimize those scars and prepare our children for biblical dating and/or courting instead of "dating for fun." That is an oxymoron. Dating is not supposed to be fun and really who looks back on their dating years and think that was fun. It is supposed to be purposeful in finding a husband and/or wife.
God Bless, |
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Apr. 22, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Darlene