Sufficient Grace

Trust.  Well, the Lord is certainly working on me in that area!  So many ups and downs with this move! So many changes and situations where I just don’t know how things are going to work out.  It truly has been challenging for me since I am one who likes all her "ducks in a row".  I like to make my plans and I really do lack flexibility!  The Lord is always working on me in that area.  Honestly, you’d think I’d learn by now!   But no, I must always learn the hard way it seems!

Is it a lack of flexibility when there really isn’t a plan to flex from??  Or is that just chaos??  Ok, enough whining already!  I woke up in the wee hours this morning and the first thought I had was "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."  Isn’t that a great thought to wake up to??  I know I needed it, and God in His great mercy for this wimpy servant of His provided yet again.

Why is it so difficult to trust?  I honestly don’t know!  I look at the Israelites and rather smugly, I am ashamed to admit, judge them for their lack of faith.  I mean, look at all God did for them….rescuing them from enemies, parting the seas, providing food and water in the desert and clothes that didn’t wear out.  And did they trust?  NO!  Just after the Lord did something wonderfully miraculous, they were complaining and fearing the next trial.  Oh boy, that’s exactly what I have been doing!!  And it is humbling.  

An example of this would be a few weekends ago when my dh was home (finally!) for a weekend.  He got in at 12:30 a.m. on a Sat.  In the early afternoon of Sat., I took 2 of my boys and went shopping for my daughter’s birthday (can my baby really be ten???).  We were gone for a few hours and upon our return noticed my dh and oldest son in the driveway talking with the neighbors.  Isn’t that nice, I thought, that my dh is getting to catch up w/ the neighbors while he’s home.  Then my son motioned me to stop and pointed to the downed power line in our yard.  It had been raining, no POURING, all day (remnants of a hurricane I think) and a different neighbor’s dead tree fell on the power lines in our yard, taking down the lines and blowing the transformer.  According to my kids, sparks flew everywhere!  This was in a heavily wooded section of our yard and I thanked God that the rain had been so heavy or there may have been a fire!  And the power line was down in the next door neighbor’s back yard.  They have 3 little boys that are usually out in the yard on a Sat. but due to the rain, were safely indoors.  Again, I thanked God.  I saw a neighbor’s dog get electrocuted by a downed wire when I was a kid (the neighbor boy almost died as well, but my dad saved him) and it was horrible!  I was so thankful no one was hurt.

So, now we are without power and it is still raining.  We have NEVER had water in our basement and have just sold our house (but not closed on the sale yet).  I went inside and had to get something from the basement.  What was on the floor? Yes, the sump pumps had stopped pumping due to no power and water was just starting to come into the basement by the sump pump.  We had an old generator that my father in law had given us about 5 years ago.  We’ve never used the thing but just about that time, my husband got it going!  Praise the Lord, no more water in the basement, just that small amount!  And dh was able to run power to our fridge and some lights on that end of the house.  That got us through and we were thankful!!  I was so very thankful that the Lord brought my dh home that weekend as I would have had no idea what to do!!  And even though my son is very mechanically inclined, he’d never run a generator or started on that had been sitting.  I could really see the Lord’s hand in all of this!

My dh and I got up a few times in the night to fuel the generator and check on things.  Then the kids and I went to a.m. church and dh stayed home to tend the generator.  I was so disappointed he couldn’t come with us and did my fair share of complaining in my heart to the Lord about that!  But the Lord always has a reason…..

We got home to find the power on…thank you Lord!  And then my dh told me the generator was making "a really loud, awful noise".  You have to understand my dh is an optimist and tends to minimize problems (probably because his emotional, inflexible wife doesn’t hand them very well!), so when he said there was a problem, it was probably pretty bad!  He was working on the generator to  no avail when the power company showed up and said "Don’t worry, we’ll have your power back on in just a few minutes!"  And praise the Lord, they did!  No water in the basement, no loss of groceries from our fridge, no one hurt.  I was very, very thankful!

But then guess what happened?  I did "the Israelite thing".  Yep.  I am sorry to say I started to think of the next trial.  My dh had to leave on Monday and I started to panic; yes, panic!  What would I do if he wasn’t there to help w/ the next trial?  How would I handle it?  Fear just ruled my heart!  That evening when we all went to church together (thanks, Lord, that even though I complained, you provided for us to go as a family that night!) the message was on being in the Word, and trusting the Lord.  Isn’t God good?  He knew exactly what this struggling, pitiful child of His needed to calm her heart.  Was I trusting in God? NO!  I was trusting in others.  Was I fearing God?  NO!  I was fearing circumstances.  Lesson learned, right?  End of story?  Unfortunately, no.  I must keep bringing that same baggage of mistrust back to the foot of the cross and leaving it with the One who can handle it.  It is a continuous process, not an event!  I am so thankful for the mercy of God and to be able to trust in the One who is worthy of my trust!

I was thinking of a song we sang in church just last week.  As I trust the Lord, my hearts desire is to do what we sang "I will follow/I will listen/I will love You/All of my days/I will sing to and worship/the King who is worthy/l will love and adore You/I will bow down before You/ You’re my Prince of Peace and I will live my life for You!"

He is my Prince of Peace and I CAN trust in Him.  With His help, I WILL live my life for Him!

Since the Lord is just so amazing, this could be the title of an infinite number of posts! 

Anyways, I just got back from my first visit to SC and am truly amazed by the Lord once again!  He is just so awesome!!  He gave me peace that truly passes all understanding throughout the whole trip.  I’ve never flown by myself before and it has been a number of years since I’ve flown at all!  Usually, situations where I’m not very sure about what’s going to happen or how it will all work out make me very anxious.  But that didn’t happen!  I had such an incredible peace the whole time; navigating through busy Metro airport, flying during turbulence, driving around unknown parts in SC etc.  I am known for my tendency to get very turned around and lost…*zero* sense of direction!!

Here’s how the Lord showed Himself amazing to me:  during the turbulence, I was so calm and at peace (quite out of character!) that I actually even ENJOYED the turbulence.  Crazy, I know!  You should have seen some of the looks I got from the other passengers! ha  Too funny!  But the whole time the plane shook and dropped (like the sensation in an elevator that suddenly "drops") I kept thinking how it felt like a roller coaster….and I *love* rollercoasters!  Kept thinking about how my son would’ve loved it, too as he is my roller coaster- front seat riding buddy!  And as we flew above the clouds  lightning illuminated the whole sky in brilliant flashes.  In my heart (didn’t want to convince the other passengers that I was a complete loon!) I was singing "God of Wonders".  You know, "God of Wonders beyond our galaxy, You are holy.  The universe declares Your majesty, you are holy.  Lord of heaven and earth…" 

I also discovered that God is the best GPS!  Didn’t have a gps unit and got hopelessly turned around and frustrated.  As my bad attitude developed, the Lord got ahold of me and prompted me to pray.  Just as soon as I told Him "Lord, I am lost!  I have no clue where I am and cannot find my way out on my own.  But YOU know!  Please help me and help me to trust in You" and pulled my van back out on the road, I spotted the very street I needed to get me out of that subdivision!  And from that point on, I never got hopelessly lost again!   I immediately was awed by Him and told Him (out loud!) "God, you are BETTER than gps!"  How often do we depend on our gadgets (like gps and cellphones) instead of our God??  I am guilty as charged but was so thankful I didn’t have that so that the Lord got all the glory and showed His power to me.

Truly amazing, isn’t He??? 

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I don’t know if that Playlist above will work, but I’m being daring and giving it a try!

The Lord is just so amazing!  I continue to marvel at the peace He has given me in the midst of this move!  He shows me in many ways that He has gone before me in this move. One of the things He has done is to send me a fellow homeschooling mom to help me "navigate" the homeschooling requirements in SC!  I have bought curriculum from Stephanie at The Christian Curriculum Connection for about 5 years and just in this last year we’ve really gotten to know one another by sharing prayer requests and the ways that the Lord is answering those prayers!  All this, without me ever knowing that the Lord was going to send my family to SC and that we’ll live probably an hour away from Stephanie!  Isn’t He good?  Stephanie has sent me a BEAUTIFUL hardcover book that is wonderfully illustrated and gives the history of SC, its geography etc.  And if that wasn’t great enough, she also sent me a booklet on the Accountability and Homeschool groups in SC that has made things so much easier for me.  I just can’t get over the Lord’s goodness to me!  He is good, and His faithfulness endures forever!  Whenever I get a little nervous about this move, or overwhelmed with all the details, I am reminded how He has already provided and gone before me and will continue to provide.  I can trust the One who is worthy of my trust!

Well, a long awaited answer to prayer has come!  We knew that my husband’s job was coming to an end and for the past 2 years he’s been looking for another job.  We really wanted to stay in MI, but the job market is just so tight, and nothing was available.  In this last year, he’s interviewed by phone dozens of times and in person at least a handful.  All areas of the U.S. and frankly, quite stressful for me!  It has been a faith stretcher and builder.  It has kept me on my knees before the Lord, crying out to Him.  But the Lord is so good! He has taught me so very much and continues to do so.  He reminds me so many times of His love for me and that He knows the beginning from the end.  He is worthy of my trust.

So, the answer to prayer for a new job came……we are moving to South Carolina!  I could share so many neat things about this answer but a few of the highlights are:

The job is a very good one that Jim is excited about.  He called last week to say "They’re hiring!  AND there’s money in the budget!!"  It has been SO long since that has been the case for him!  He truly enjoys a new adventure!  We call him our Trekkie, liking "to go where no man has gone before"!  He is very well suited to this position and I am very happy for him and grateful to the Lord for providing it.  Perfect timing, as his job was coming to a close here in MI.  I am not so adventurous as my dh, but I am also truly excited about this!  AND I have perfect peace which, if you know me, you know I struggle with this!  I am usually a worrier and the unknown tends to make me anxious.  Not so in this case!  I am VERY sad to leave my family, friends and church home…..I will miss everyone so much!!  So many people have meant so much to me!  I do not enjoy meeting new people in the sense that I am not a great conversationalist and don’t really know how to get one started unless I know common ground.  Some people are surprised that I am actually quite shy!  And so is my daughter in new situations!  Who would’ve thunk it?   But the Lord will continue to move us out of our comfort zone (I always think of Pastor Hall when I use that term!!) and stretch us and grow us into the people that we ought to be…….more like Jesus!

I have so appreciated raising my kids at Evangel!  So many have just poured into my life and theirs and I love that my brothers and sisters in the Lord know our heart in raising our children and are so supportive and helpful in that.  It will be hard to leave that trusting, loving body of Christ but I know that the God who is Lord here, is also the Lord there!  And He has a place for us, a ministry for us and we are trusting Him to guide and direct us to a new church home.  We truly want His will in this area……how could a gracious, loving Heavenly Father not answer that prayer? He will, and His timing is perfect.

Another neat thing:  I have always wanted to see the Carolinas!  I’ve never been, and am moving sight unseen, but isn’t the Lord good to move me someplace I have always wanted to go??  Out of all the places Jim interviewed, it pleased the Lord to send us there.  He is too awesome for words!  We had just come back from a vacation in FL (not knowing about this job) and both of us commented that the older we get, the more we’d love to live in the South!  Palm trees (my favorites!) and sunshine here we come!  And a friend told me that in NC, flowers bloom all year long! So I’m guessing they do in SC as well.  I just love flowers!  Again, I am overwhelmed by God’s goodness to me.  He is good and His mercy endures forever.

Yet another neat thing about this move:  I LOVE Civil War history.  Guess where the war started?  SC with the firing at Fort Sumter!!  LOTS and lots of interesting historical sites here…….I sure do hope my fellow homeschooling moms (and Civil War buff friends) will come and visit us and see all this firsthand!  And only about 2 hours from Myrtle Beach, too!  A great vacation destination……have I convinced anyone yet??

A few songs and verses that the Lord has used to minister to me through all of this (I’ll share more in my next post):

Blessed Be Your Name   espec. the lyrics "You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Blessed be Your name"  I will choose to bless the Lord and look for the good, even through the pain of leaving!  He has given and taken away, yet blessed be His name.  He knows best and I WILL trust Him!

Ps. 43 (and a song!)  Why so downcast O my soul?  Put your hope in God, and bless the Lord O my soul.

Ps. 46  God is my refuge and my strength, an ever present help in trouble.  Therefore I will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.   I have always loved this verse, and remind myself that the earth isn’t giving way, just my place on it is changing!!  He alone is my refuge and He alone gives me strength Day by Day (love that hymn!!)

He Leadeth Me…..will I let Him lead?  Will I struggle against his leading?  No!  I will choose to let Him lead and teach me what I need to learn.