Sunday, August 13, 2006 - Kevin and Martha
Did I ever tell you that I love my Pastor?
As he spoke this morning on joy he talked about things that had happened, good and bad, over the last six years as Pastor.
I thought about the day I first met him just over 5 years ago.
My marriage was in shambles.
George and I had just reunited after a 3 month separation and I wanted nothing more than to head back out the door. The man I had come home to was quickly reverting to the man I had left and I wanted out...again.
George decided we should go to church and that would solve all our problems.
I had come to know Jesus a year earlier, but when we were reconciled he made fun of my faith and so I dropped it. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to show George how good I was at being a Christian, so I agreed.
George knew of a church where a friend from high school was the youth Pastor and it was the same denomination that we both had been to as children so we decided to go there.
A few days before we first visited I had a dream that we were in a large sanctuary singing worship songs. I had my eyes closed and my hands in the air and when I opened my eyes I was alone.
The rapture had happened and I had missed it.
I comforted myself with the thought that if even George, sinner that he was, had been taken in the rapture I was surely safe. The dreams kept coming and I was continually missing the rapture. I was afraid to close my eyes sometimes, afraid that I would be alone when I opened them.
I decided that I had read way to many of the Left Behind books and I had an overactive imagination because after all...if George was safe....
That security blanket unraveled one night in June 2001.
We walked into the church that night and found a seat in the back.
The music was good, led by a beautiful young blond pregnant woman. I even knew a song and got to look spiritual singing along. After the music our friend prayed and introduced another young man. I waited and waited for this handsome young man to sit down so we could see the Pastor.
He never did.
I couldn't tell you what he preached about, but there was an altar call at the end and we all came forward to pray. I stood there with my eyes closed and my hands in the air and recited some meaningless prayer. I peeked and saw our high school friend praying with George. I closed my eyes and stood there trying to hear what George was saying.
I was startled by our friend whispering in my ear, "Trish, do you know Jesus as your Savior?".
I quickly assured him that I did and thanked him, still with my eyes closed so I didn't have to face him. My self-assuring words tasted like a lie in my mouth.
After church I met our friend's wife for the first time. She was cute and talkative and pregnant too. She talked to me as if we had been friends forever and I was a bit put off when she asked me to feel how swollen her legs were from a combination of pregnancy and a recent canoeing trip with the youth group, but she seemed very sweet.
We collected our children from the nursery and learned that the elusive Pastor's son had bitten Nicole. The nursery workers seemed nervous to tell us, but James had bitten her 12 times that week, so I wasn't to shocked or concerned. We were ready to leave when our friend asked if we would like to meet the Pastor.
He led us down a hallway and we bumped into the young man that had spoken that night getting a drink from the fountain. Our friend introduced him as Kevin.
Kevin shook our hands and talked to us for a minute and we followed him and our friend back through the hallway. I didn't pay much attention to what he said because I was looking past him trying to spot the Pastor.
We left without meeting anyone else and went home disappointed that Kevin had distracted us from meeting the Pastor.
That night George got saved and I got scared. All the dreams I had been having became very real to me.
George and I had the biggest fight that week. I had decided that he was acting very holier-than-thou and he had no right to preach at me when I knew Jesus way longer than him. He was telling me that I should be reading my Bible and letting him make decisions in our family and start treating him with a little respect....of all the nerve!
Things came to a head Wednesday evening when we were getting ready for church. I don't remember what was said, but I turned vicious and he slapped me.
I started packing my things and he got scared.
He made me promise not to leave before he got back and he left.
Little did I know he headed straight for that church and demanded to see the Pastor. He told the Pastor every dirty detail of our sordid past and begged for help.
Meanwhile I was still packing my bags and wondering where on Earth I would go. I had no friends and no family to lean on and my only plan was to take my (then) 3 children and live in my car until the state intervened and took them away from me.
I felt absolute hopelessness.
George came home that night and I hardly recognized him. He walked straight to the kitchen and got a trash bag. He informed me that he was the leader of this house and that he had made some decisions. He had arranged counseling for us and we were going to church every time the doors were opened.
As he talked he went through the house with his trash bag and collected up every dirty magazine, every porn movie, every trashy novel, every R-rated movie, and every piece of country music we owned and he trashed it. Gone from our lives forever.
I like to refer to that night as George's Holy Ghost housecleaning. Another surprise I got that evening was that young (and I mean young) Kevin was the Pastor....huh, I thought you at least had to get through high school before you could be a Pastor...and that the beautiful blond worship leader was his wife Martha.
That next week we began marriage counseling. Kevin listened to my fault finding problems with George and occasionally rolled his eyes and made me feel really lousy having been born a woman with emotions and junk. I thought he was a real jerk, but at the same time I was amazed that he seemed to care about my marriage...no one, especially not of the male persuasion, ever cared before.
The next week we were supposed to meet with him and his wife for lunch. Martha met us at the church and took us to Mazzios and we got to talk a bit while we waited for Kevin. She was so smart and sweet and so different than I had assumed she would be...Miss PerfectBlondeCheerleaderType...you know the ones I'm talking about. The kind that made all my high school nightmares become a reality.
Through the months of counseling I lived on an emotional roller coaster.
I had to talk about things that I had worked very hard to bury and more than once I ran out of the room crying...like when Kevin looked me in the eyes (something I've never been good at) and asked me, "Trish, has someone sexually abused you?".
That question set me free.
Kevin and Martha inspired us to be better than we were and to not settle for less than God's best for us.
My greatest and worst memories are from the year that Martha went back to work as a PS teacher. They asked me to be their nanny.
Essentially this meant that they paid me very well to supervise as young children, both mine and theirs, destroyed their lovely home on a daily basis. I got to know and love their family and they grew in patience, forgiveness, grace, and accepting disappointment through that experience.
Remind me sometime to tell you about the day the children broke a dozen Precious Moments figurines in about 30 seconds.
One October day I arrived at the house in time to answer the phone and talk to a man that had just lost his mother the same day his tiny baby son was having a major surgery.
This particular day was his mother's funeral which Kevin was preaching (if that's the right term, I've never been to a funeral). I was so sad for Doug but distracted by the flu I'd apparently come down with, or severe morning sickness as I was 10 weeks pregnant. I laid around the house with the kids all morning and just felt so achy and miserable.
After lunch the phone rang again with news that a couple in the church had just had their first baby. A precious little girl! I was so thrilled for them and yet sad that she was born on such a sad day as the day of Doug's mother's funeral.
That night at home I decided to write a letter to the new parents. I was about halfway through it when I got up and went to the bathroom and discovered that I was bleeding. Within an hour Martha and Kevin's phone was ringing again with news that we were in the emergency room.
What a day that must have been for my young Pastor to go from a funeral, to greeting a new baby at one hospital, to yet another hospital to sit with us as I tell my husband that our baby is gone.
Five months later it is Martha's turn to be in the hospital.
They are told that the baby she is carrying will likely not make it on the same day George and I are renewing our marriage vows and announcing that we are expecting baby Elizabeth.
Despite his pain, Kevin still officiates our ceremony and makes our announcement for us, though we asked him to go home and let us make other arrangements.
Thankfully, a few months later their third baby boy is born healthy, strong, and perfect...just like his brothers.
Over the years I have run from our church family, Kevin and Martha, and from God...feeling that I'm not good enough to be near any of them and tired of being a walking disappointment...but eventually we always felt the need to go back to our church home.
Two weeks ago we returned to that church home. As we listened to the preaching that Sunday night I felt deeply impressed to pray for Kevin.
I had no idea what the problem was, I just felt that he was heavily burdened and needed prayers that he wasn't asking for.
This morning he announced to the congregation that he had resigned to take another pastorate. (Is that really a word or am I inventing it?!) If I'd have known that decision was what I was praying for, I'd have kept my mouth shut....
Yeah that's selfish me rearing her ugly head...give me a minute to knock her back down and we'll continue...
Kevin, Martha, and their sons have meant so much to my family over the years and we will miss them so much.
Today I find myself feeling like an idiot for wasting so much time that could have been spent gleaning from their leadership, but excited at what God has in store for their family and for mine.
I'm scared that they will never know how much I respected and appreciate their ministry to us and to the community. I've never been good at letting people know how much I care. Now I have two weeks to say good-bye to this precious family.
Fifteen years ago today I met the man God would have me spend my life with and Wednesday is our 10th wedding anniversary. I know that Kevin didn't save our marriage, but without him caring enough to point us in the right direction we would have never made it to this day.
How do you thank someone for that?
Martha is to blame for this blog. If it weren't for her cheerleading spirit I'd have never had the nerve to pick up a pen (or start this blogging adventure). She is the semblance of who I want to be when I grow up. Nicole thinks she is the most wonderful woman ever, yeah I take that personally...once in a while.
All of my children love her. She is their children's Pastor and when I told them that Kevin wouldn't be our Pastor anymore they replied with, "Well at least we still have Martha!"
Sorry Kevin, but that's where their loyalties lie.
Comments
Monday, August 14, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by weareqf
What an amazing testimony you have of God's precious, saving grace!! Isn't He so good??? Beauty for ashes all the way!! And He will continue to do wonderful things for those He loves. Just trust in Him!!
Monday, August 14, 2006 - Thanks
Posted by Play2LearnHome
Thank you for sharing this wonderful testimony! I love hearing how God takes us and makes us new.
I wonder if Kevin is ok with Martha staying :) LOL It sounds like you have a wonderful pastoral family.
Friday, August 18, 2006 - Thanks for the inspiration!
Posted by jammyphoto
You have a wonderful testimony! We lost a youth and music pastor recently. We had been praying fervently for him to find a wife, for he has been longing for a family for so long. The thought did cross my mind that he may leave, and it did happen, and it was a huge loss. He was the one that would make himself available to us when in need, and come to our house for dinner....he put people above agenda and we clicked with him; besides eventhough we have 6 children, we still feel like youth ourselves.....and in reality, we are only one year old in Christ.
God also took our shambles of a marriage, which by worldly standars...should have ended long ago, and made it into something new and Christ reflecting. How amazing!!!! You go out there and you shine your light to the world! Don't you be afraid. It was a counselor in a secular counseling ctr that happened to be a Christian that God used to reach us. It could have easily been a mom in a park as well, you just never know. I am so eternally grateful, I hope that I can help someone else someday to know Christ and have their life renewed.
Jenn
Saturday, August 26, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by ChathamMommy
You sat and told people to come read my blog... I should have been sending them to yours. This is the most amazing testimony I have read/heard in a long time, if not ever. I thank God that he sent these two wonderful people to your life to help you through the rough spots and that you are allowing God to work through you to let the rest of us imperfect souls know that there's hope.
I'm still not sure how I missed these posts. Maybe God wanted me to wait so I could read them altogether.
Many hugs and prayers.
