Posted in Light Verse

(to the tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic/Glory Glory Hallelujah")

He leaves the seat and lid up,

Caring not who might fall in;

As his wife did once at midnight

And got stuck up to her chin,

Accidentally hit the flusher

And went for a little spin!

The lid goes up and down!

Honey, Honey, put the lid down!

If you don't the kids may soon drown!

When stuff falls in I have to fish 'round!

The lid goes up and down!

To close both toilet seat and lid:

A very worthy goal!

The toddler likes to flush things;

Dog and cat drink from the bowl.

And when you think about it,

It's a most unsightly hole!

The lid goes up and down!

Honey, Honey, put the lid down!

Or you'll wear a porcelain crown!

Then I'd grin instead of just frown!

The lid goes up and down!

He says, "I have to put it up;

Why shouldn't you work too?"

I say, "Let's all close everything

And hide the wat'ry view!"

Same work for all, looks nicer,

And more sanitary, too!

The lid goes up and down!

Honey, Honey, put the lid down!

You'll become a man of great renown!

I'll wear perfume and a French maid gown,

If you'll just learn to put the lid down!

{Copyright (c) 2005 C. Paden. All rights reserved.}