Okay, I admit it. I’ve been in denial that my kids are growing up. I’ve been harboring this insane notion that they’re always going to stay three years old and never move away. I’ve hoped against hope that we’d never have to deal with driver’s licenses, career choices, and – gulp - interested parties of the opposite sex. It’s just that it’s so lovely and quiet with my head down here in the sand.
In less than 18 months, my firstborn, my Charming Child, will be old enough to sign on to a job that will take him far from home and probably into dangerous situations.
What happened to the years of wooden fire trucks and Barney pajamas? Not that I really miss Barney and his obnoxious songs, but still…. Maybe if I ply the enlistment officer with a promise of monthly shipments of cookies, they’ll station my boy somewhere like Kansas, which isn’t too far away, and – unless cornstalks get aggressive – is relatively safe.
And now a very nice young man has expressed a desire to meet with Husband and me to have a serious talk about his relationship with our daughter. 
No one prepared me for this! ARGH! Why don’t these kids come with an instruction manual?! I need to know what questions to ask. There’s nothing in the parenting books about this. And anyway, I don’t own any parenting books except Dr. Spock, and he’s not good for anything except diagnosing chicken pox. I’ve always been able to sort of figure it out as we went along. But this is … bigger. And … scarier. Sigh. I miss the days when our biggest trauma was trying to convince her not to wear a sparkly, pink ballet tutu to church. Maybe I should mention that to the young man…
Well, my head’s out of the sand, and there’s no putting it back in now. No choice but to go forward. I may not know what I’m doing, but I’m at least going to do it with good humor and a lot of prayer.
It’s a good thing God knows what He’s doing, because we ostriches are known for laying enormous eggs.
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I can so relate to where you find yourself. I have 20 year old and 17 year old girls, and a 14 yr old son, not to mention the two younger kids(13 &9).
Raising teenagers has been the hardest years emotionally, while raising toddlers was the hardest years physically.
We've also had young men interested in our 2 daughters. The stories are too long to share here. But all I can say is for us, it has been really hard!
Pray, pray, pray….ALOT, and stay alert. So far, our experiences have not been the greatest, but many lessons were learned. There are several things I would do differently.
God be with you!
Jewelz
PS. Thanks for commenting on my thread. Yes, I too have learned "grace parenting". -
I think I know that guy in picture number 2… He's way to familiar.
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I can SO relate, having a 19-y/o & a 16-y/o. I do miss the simpler days of yore when they were all young & innocent. Parenting IS harder as they get older. Once I realized this, I determined that my younger two were going to stay "little" forever, but alas, it has not worked. My #3 has hit adolescence and there is nothing, NOTHING, I can do about it. (Well, stuffing him in a sealed barrel with breathing holes and a feeding tube and keeping him there for the next 8 years or so would be an option; it won't eliminate the aging process but might assist me in my quest to retain my sanity.) My elder son will soon be OUT of the teenage years, and as mind-boggling as that is, it pales in comparison to the realization that my younger son will be INTO the teenage years by the end of next summer. At least I still have one little one left –a charming, sweet, mommy-loving 8-1/2-yr-old. I have GOT to figure out a way to keep her there, and soon…!
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Even though my mom and dad got together when she was 15, I think that my parents would be dragging their feet ALOT if that happened to me even now….but I fear that I will have to speak on her behalf; From my experience…. for all of the feelings that you are having, she is probably having some equal to yours of her own.
May God hold you, cradled in the palm of His hand, as He works in your life!
Rachel
ElizabethBennet -
Oh those pictures are SO neat!
They WERE adorable and they ARE beautiful!
I am not looking forward to those moments….I get sad thinking about it already! Be strong, Mama! -
I think the biggest surprise to me is that you are actually old enough to have children, er…young adults that are grown up enough to even consider these situations!
Zowie.
Love,
MarshaPS If you choose to write said instruction manual, let me know. I'll be the first to put in a pre-order!
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Aww, Miss TC, you're post made me cry. But not for the same reasons the mama's are crying. *sighs* I just wish some 'very nice' young man would come and talk to my parents about me.*sniffles* I am getting old!
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TC…I love this post! Your kids are just beautiful! …we had quite a bit of purple dinosaur going on in our house years ago too! What happens to the time?
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… arrived safe and sound and now I get to worry over him for a week and you may have a break! My gift to you! Ha ha… When you mentioned him going someplace dangerous, I thought you meant The Folks' house here in PA. Maybe you recall the groundhog/airconditioner event(one lived, one died) that occurred last year??
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I know how ya feel. Me being nearly (ahem) 40 years old and having 5 children, I still feel like I'm barely old enough to act like a grown-up, let alone have children that are. I hope someday that my children will help me to figure out what I want to be when I grow up to be big. I'm aiming towards rock star or runway model, but my kids say "Unlikely!" Us parents gotta dream though…
Signed, The Head Kook
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That's not working. I can't breathe. Here I am, freaking out b/c mine are only turning 4, 7, and 9. (Baby Girl, not included in that list, has been forbidden from growing up. I'll let ya know how that works out. Although, thanks to my genetic input, she will look nothing like your stunning young ladies when she is in her teens. WOOHOO! Let's hear it for the gangly gene! She'll hate me for it, and I don't care.)
But truth be told, I am glad you've done such a job raising your beautiful family. They give me hope. They make me smile. They did stoopid things too, and survived. Not only survived, but are blossoming into fantastic adults. That's pretty cool stuff, TC.
Dy
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I like it in the sand myself. I am not coming out!
Jenn -
*stops crying* yeah so sad….mmhmm
yes i know i have no heart. but i do try to understand…yeah so really this comment prob wont anything or anyone…so why am i leaving it? i will thik about that in a sec….
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Hoo my, this brought back some memories. We had an 18 year old (who's now 19) pursuing our oldest daughter (who is 17) last year. The boy was wacky–a loner who barely spoke above a whisper and wore a wool cape, funky hat, scraggly beard and usually carried a sword. We had to take extreme measures to end that little relationship–and the kid recently sent our daughter a letter suggesting that when she turns 18 in a few months, he could help her flaunt our authority so they could marry. He's a bit obsessive, that one.
Btw, Michael Pearl wrote a wonderful article about what to ask a prospective suitor. (We thought it was good, anyway.)
Good on your son for volunteering to defend and protect all us unworthy citizens. May God protect him both spiritually and physically.
Edited by TC on Jun. 14, 2007 at 11:21 PM
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I posted something similar a few days back. When did this happen??? (interested others, jobs, driving–ugh!)
It's so unfair. I'd give anything for an episode of Barney or Clifford the Big Red Dog right about now. -
Hugs!
I hope that I have such a sense of humor as you when my kids grow up!
marie -
"Now I have guilt." To quote a famous dinosaur (Rex) from Toy Story. Your post made me want to cry. Not because I understand. I am still in denial that we will reach those days in the future. No, I have guilt because I actually posted this morning about how I am going to throw a party when one specific child turns 18. I found him drinking a floride rinse in the bathroom and had to call poison control for the umpteen time since he turned 1. <<sigh>> Maybe I shouldn't wish for them to grow so fast. I think I will just start enjoying him more. He's got this funny little pause while he contemplates whether the answer is NO or YES to my question. Today I was surprised by a roaring lion that suddenly showed up under my kitchen table while I was trying to surprise him in the pantry. I hadn't seen or heard from him in a few minutes and I assumed he was eating out of the trash can again. Ok, so there are some things that I will be glad he outgrows. Thanks for the reminder that we need to slow down and not wish their lives away.
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Thanks for sharing my exact feelings about my own rapidly maturing teenager! Shouldn't something have happened to us along the way in preparation for such things?!! Some great new parental understanding and maturity, for instance!
Praying with you,
Antelope's mom -
Oh, TC, this is hard. You've started something–with me, anyway. I simply must post some before and after pictures.
But HANG IN THERE!! It's hard to do the transistion stage, but the benefits are coming, in the form of GRANDCHILDREN. When my kids were younger I never thought I would say that grandchildrent are better than having your own. I denied that vigorously. But I must now repent of that. The rumors are true: Grandchildren ARE better than having your own. Come on over in a few days and see what I mean. (Gotta find some pics, so give me a day or two).
Bless your children and they look lovely and handsome. "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." I John. -
Aw, I love the then and now pictures! You have beautiful children and I pray that this transition time for you will be full of harvested fruit
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I didn't know he is almost old enough now!!! Wow!
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TC
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