I don't even know where to begin with this post, so I am just going to write what I am feeling right now.  Read at your own risk and try to forgive the rambling that you are bound to encounter.

About 3 years ago, our church merged with another church in a neighboring town.  The 2 churches were able to vote on the situation, and the majority voted that because of the priest shortage, the marriage of the 2 parishes into one was inevitable, and in the best interest of everyone involved.

After the 2 churches merged, we assumed a new name for our new parish, and the idea of building a new church to replace the 2 run-down old ones was broached.  Again, we voted and it was decided that we would set the ball in motion toward building a new church.  Our 2 church buildings were put on the market to be sold.

Around Christmas time this past year, we were visited by a member of the Capital Campaign committee to discuss how much money we would be willing to give over the next 5 years to support the building of the new church.  We made our commitment and have been faithfully paying monthly.

When the Capital Campaign committee members were making their rounds, a piece of land was being investigated to use in our building project.  We were all lead to believe that, providing that all of the testing for the site came back fine, this is where our new church would be located.  Conveniently enough for me, it would have made our church about 5 minutes closer to us.

We found out a few weeks ago that we lost the property.  We would have had to removed several buildings, pour an 800 foot driveway, and it would have just cost too much money.  They also disclosed that they grossly underestimated the amount of money that would be needed to build the new church.  Also, the church that my family has been going to for the last 13 years was sold out from under us and we only have 3 weekend masses left.

A letter came out to all of the parishioners this week stating that there would be a brainstorming session to discuss the future of our parish.  There has also been talk of combining our 2 former churches with another church farther away.  This means that when we do finally build, we will be looking for property closer to that town and about 20 minutes further from my house.

Now, I have complained a lot about my drive to church, and how early we have to get up, and how waiting for R and A at Sunday School with the boys in the car stinks, but it is nothing compared to this!  I make a conscious choice to do all of those things, but this is too much to ask.  I can't commit to this project and know that I will have to drive 50-60 minutes to attend mass each Sunday.

I wasn't the only person at the meeting this evening to bring up the fact that this drive could make it impossible for some of us to keep attending this church.  I thought things were going fairly well, and everyone thoughts and feelings were being taken into account, until Fr. Joe stood up at the end.  He told us all that this new phase of our church's life mean that we have to sacrifice.  (SACRIFICE?  7:30 a.m. EVERY Sunday-- with 4 kids BY MYSELF!!  How's that for sacrifice?)  He said that if the drive is too much for SOME of us to handle, maybe that is our problem!  Real Christian attitude, if you ask me!

So, I have been seething about this for the last hour.  I just want to know that if we continue to support the Capital Campaign, that we will actually be able to utilize the church once it is built.  Do we cut our losses now and shop for a new church?  Or do we stick this out and potentially lose out because we can't possibly drive the extra distance each week?

There is actually more to this story that I don't feel comfortable posting here right now, and I am feeling too angry to put it all into words anyway.  I'll let you know what we decide.