Thank you to those that have prayed for my friends' family. We took a trip to Oklahoma to be with them for the viewing, unfortunately we had to leave before the actual funeral, however there were many friends and family from all over the country there to help them through. She will need continued prayer in the days to come, she is doing well considering the circumstances.
I know I haven't been keeping up my blog very regularly, but I have an urgent request. Please pray for our friends the Hydes. Tammy and the kids are mourning and grieving the loss of her husband of 20+ years. He was only 40! He died suddenly last night. Our hearts are broken for them. The kids are 16 & 19. We all attended the same church and worked and played and ministered together for years. They moved to Oklahoma about two years before we moved here. We are so shocked and saddened!
I had no idea it was so long since my last post!! It seems like just yesterday. Well, I've been ruminating on a few post ideas but for now, I will just say a little about what has been going on in my world.
My dd is a sweet angel. She has become so helpful and so sweet, I'm really enjoying our time together lately. She is now a 20th century teen, we finally got her a cell phone. She is thrilled mostly because it is purple. We haven't held out on getting her a phone because of her, but because we are terrible procrastinators and seem to be getting worse the older we get. My husbands phone finally just would not work anymore and so it was time. My own phone was over 6 years old. There was really nothing wrong with it except it wouldn't take the new SIM card, so, new phones all around.
DH is still working on adjusting to his new work schedule. He started a new job about 6 weeks ago and is happier than where he had been, but would still like to be his own boss. We have many ideas for what we think we would like to do as a family business, just something holding us back, not sure what that is.
I was hired as a permanent employee at my workplace about the same time as DH. I had been a temp since Dec. This means I now have full benefits which is a wonderful feeling after two years without and then a few months with less than stellar coverage. I am adjusting. My heart yearns to be at home, but we need my income to make it. Its not that we live high on the hog, I just like being able to pay our bills and have a few dollars left at the end of the month. (Truth be told, that is why it took us so long to get new phones, I didn't want the bill to go up and I didn't want to buy new phones, they are expensive). We are continuing to use ABeka Academy for our curriculum, this works so well for us. I know there are those out there with issues with it, but its what works for us.
We have the addition of a grandma in our home now. We are all stuggling under the adjustments needed to make this work. Grandma is a survivor of both lung and brain cancer and has aged well beyond her years due to her treatment. She is only in her 60's but seems much older. She has had a series of TIA's and is on a boatload of medication. She was finally able to get a home healthcare worker to come in and assist her. This is a wonderful thing. So much to say on that subject, but for now, I'll just say, its new and I have great hopes for this smoothing things around the house. I'm not fond of having someone in our home that I don't know, but this really is the best for grandma. I have been searching for caregivers advice on line and all I seem to come across is stuff about putting your relative in a nursing home. We are trying very hard to keep a Biblical perspective and honor grandma by caring for her at home. She is able to walk and get around, but, we have restricted her access to the basement for fear of her falling down the stairs, or getting down there and then not being able to get back upstairs. As of today, I'm afraid we will have to restrict her cooking privelages as well. My dd called and said the house was filled with smoke after grandma made her breakfast. She started the breakfast and then wandered off to do other things while the pan was on the stove on high heat.
Please pray for us as we struggle to honor her and keep our family safe.
We have moved again. This time only across town. Actually into town, we were about 4 miles out of town for the last year and a half. We are now in a comfortable house. No more the cramped quarters, tripping over each other and hearing everything we never wanted to. (The "powder room" was right off the kitchen, hall, living room). Since that was all sort of one room, there was very little privacy. We are obviously back online as well. Almost a month without internet. We did a lot of reading. Now that we have unpacked all of our books, I haven't seen them all in one place in years. We are still sorting out and getting settled. It is a month this weekend since we moved. DH switched, against his wishes, to swing shift and we don't tend to get a whole lot done in the evenings without him. DD and I just sort of hang out together.
This weekend, since we are now moved in and know where the blow dryer and dishes are, we are moving m-i-l in with us. We have to do the actual moving for her. She is able to direct, but not to really do any lifting or bending or anything like that, which is why she is moving in with us.
Homeschooling is limping along this year. We, as usual, are behind of a few things, however since moving I would give dd an A+ on home ec. She is really learning to cook well! She has unpacked and put things away and organized quite a bit of the house. I have been very impressed with her. She is getting hands on experience in running a house. Her and her label maker have kept quite busy.
With the move we found the record player grandpa gave dd and we have been playing all the really old records we have stored for years. I refused to give away or throw away some of these albums with the hope that some day I would have something to play them on. We have spent the evening listening to old 70's and 80's music and laughing at how funny they sound now. It's also strange after having itunes and CD's to hear the old timey scratchy sound of a real record player. I just wish I could listen to some of the old Elvis records dad had while we were growing up. Currently listening to Pop Music. What were some of your favorite old songs from growing up?
Leave a comment and tell me what you were listening to when you were 12 or so.
I was just over at another blog that I read occasionally. She wrote about friends that she had in passing while growing up. It made me stop and think and I decided to write about a few of the friends that I have had along lifes' route.
My first BFF, Sharon. We lost touch around the 5th grade or so. I'm still sad over that. She was the youngest child in her family. I think she was a change of life baby because all of her siblings were mostly grown and she was already an aunt. I thought that was so neat. Her family was from Malta. I would go with them all the way to La Mirada, from Lakewood, it seemed so far as children, little did I know I would eventually come to live in beautiful La Mirada. Anyway, we would go and lay sheets out and shake the trees and then gather all the olives and take them back to their house where her mom would spend days processing them. I also remember they had a fig tree in their backyard. They probably never got a useful fig from that tree, what the ants didn't destroy we did. We used them as all sorts of free toys. They also had a boat that mostly sat in the driveway and we would have grand adventures in that boat. The last memory that I'll share here and one of my fondest, we collected all the acorns we could from their oak tree in the fall and stored them in my doll carrige, until we had enough, we thought, to make acorn "meal". We intended to make cornbread out of them. We dried them and peeled them and ground them, and then we asked one of our parents how to make cornbread and that ended that adventure. It might have been good.
Later a friend from Anaheim, Misty, we were frienemies. That is all I'll say there except to say, that she was also a change of life baby. Hummm curious.
I had a friend about the same time as Misty that I would occasionally spend time with. We were not BFF's but we enjoyed each others friendship and spent time together here and there. Elva was shy, sweet, fun and sadly picked on by others. She was overweight, Hispanic and I think the only girl in her family, also the youngest. Her family owned a strawberry field. I thought that was so cool. Right in the city. I would go home with her now and then and we would go out in the field and pick strawberries and then just hang out at her house making our own fun. She would come to my house and I don't remember what we would do other than just hang out in my room. I sure hope she ended up having a nice life. She was really nice.
Suzie was a friend I met in between Jr. High and High school. We met at the park and hung out like crazy with a group of other kids there. My older sister met her future husband through that group, that was unfortunate. I met my husband about a decade or so later through the same friend. Susie and I moved away from each other and only saw each other here and there over the years, but remained friendly. I ended up in her wedding. I remember her love of horses and Air Supply. I remember going with her and her actual BFF (which I didn't get along with) to an Air Supply concert and waving the lighter and swaying to the music and laughing at her crying to all the songs. She laughed too, it was so funny. I remember how much she loved My Pretty Ponies, even though we were really too for them. We occasionally get in touch and check to see how each others lives are going. She has three children and a happy life. I'm so glad for her.
Dear, dear friends I've written about before from church are still so dear to my heart. I miss them terribly as I continue to adjust to being away from them all. New friends are settling into my heart and that is fun and new and such a learning curve.
Here's to friends, old and new, distant and close. Deep in my memories and in my heart. Thank you to all of you for the influenced you've had on my life. I cherish you all. There are many, many more, but I need to go for now. God Bless you all.
Well, I'm currently and hopefully gainfully employed. I say hopefully because the job is still through the temp agency even though they say they want to eventually hire me away from there. There was a glitch in the job scene last week that I won't go into except to say that I now know who to watch out for. I did nothing wrong, but now know who is not a friendly.
Sweet but recent friends have moved away to Florida leaving an empty house behind. It was on the market for about 2 or 3 months and no nibbles, so they took it off the market and are going to rent it to us!!!!!!!!!!! This is so exciting. We could never afford a house this nice without God pulling some strings. He has been watching and working things out as we have tried not to fret and wring our hands and worry. I struggle with the not worrying part. Are we going to live in this very little, very cramped apartment for the rest of our dd's teenhood. Can we do better for her? Can we show her how to rely on God fully by example? I try not to worry, I try not to lament, I fail nearly every time, but I also remind myself while reminding dd that God is in control and wants the best for us. Whatever that may be. That we have spent a season learning something. Still not sure what it is except to wait on His timing.
We are so excitied to start using our new home for ministry. I have so many ideas swimming through my head!!!! Cooking classes, teen Bible Study, puppet ministry, Small groups etc...... Maybe even youth Sunday School since we have nowhere else to do that. I know I can't do it all, but I can schedule things here and there and take them one at a time.
The biggest aspect of ministry may be in our own family. My dh's mother, my m-i-l is ailing. We moved to this part of the country to be closer to her for the express purpose of helping her as she continues to decline. She has battled lung cancer - 4 years ago, brain cancer - about 3 years now and many other small ailments, some attributed to the cancer and some other things that come with age and weight. We have struggled with the thought of bringing her into our home. Living where we are currently living has made that not an option. But now with this new situation coming about, we would have the space for her. I feel bad saying this, but I need to so that people would understand why we would struggle with this decision to bring her into our home. She is DIFFICULT!!!! She loves what and whom she loves and she really dislikes what or whom she dislikes and doesn't mind anyone within earshot knowing. We don't want to harm the relationship, but we also need to do what is right. We still don't know if it is right. We have been discussing Nursing Homes, Life Alert and moving in with us. We don't know what is the right step yet. We have been praying and discussing and hoping that God would reveal the right step at the right time.
Please keep us in your prayers, dd is sick right now, just a cold and dd is just getting over a cold.
This is not my favorite holiday! I don't know why, but for some reason it leaves me sad and annoyed. I look forward to the New Year. I only look back with small regrets for the most part. I have had this feeling about New Year's Eve since I was a child. I remember being excited about banging pots and pans with spoons, (this was a tradition at dad's house), but other than that, it was always a meloncholy time for me. This year we plan to spend the evening at our Pastors' home with other church family playing games and probably eating too much. It should be fun. I look forward to it. But again, not thrilled about the whole "holiday". Oh well.
I've been meaning to write for weeks now. I've taken up reading other blogs and I've let that consume my time. In reflecting on this last year, it has been an especially tough one for us. That alone has some part in why I haven't been posting. I didn't want to come on here and only have depressing things to say. Anyway, I found a new job, through the temp agency and it looks to turn into a permanent situation. yeah! I'm glad for that, we need the stablilty. I will miss being a keeper at home. I will miss the ability to be here to do things with my dd during the day and all that goes with that, however the financial strain that we've been under will hopefully lighten and that will enable me to not be so stressed. I've been fighting a real battle with not becoming depressed and it was a daily battle that I didn't always win. I never took meds or went to see anyone about it, but it was there, lurking, waiting for anything to go wrong and for me to allow it to take over. We are still in our realllllly small dwelling and you would think that I would be able to keep it up, but fighting off the depression on such a regular basis, the home is not in the condition I would like to see it. I am hoping that with the strain being lifted my spirits and mood will also lift and the procrastination that has become such a part of me will depart. I have so many things I would like to do, I look forward to the new year and the new possibilities it holds. The new chances to make things better and to do better. Thats all for now.
Today is hard. I'm having a hard time with life today. Yesterday, I was busily making and baking gingerbread houses. We are having a Gingerbread house decorating party after church tomorrow and PW and I are baking all the houses. We waited, of course, until the weekend of to start baking. I knew better, I knew I should have started weeks ago. But, the professional procrastinator that I have become, I waited. Back to what happened yesterday, I came down with really painful stomache cramps. I thought maybe it was stress, but then thinking really hard, I realized I have had these stomache cramps for a few days on and off, nothing to bad, just random. But in the middle of a baking frenzy, I was literally floored with pain. I was laying on the floor when PW showed up to help bake. I of course put on my good little soldier face and got up and went on, pains and all. Today, they are less. They were not at all until I ate a sandwich and some soup for lunch. I decided to forgo breakfast in the hope that my tummy would feel better empty. Anyway, I have very little energy and about 15 houses left to bake. When done baking, I will need to make enough Royal icing to put them all together. FUNNNNN!!!!!!! It should have been, now I'm just hoping I can get it all done and behind me. Thank goodness I'm not really doing this alone as it sounds above. Dear PW is baking away at home as we speak. I'll get through today.
The bummer is, I really would rather just skip the festivities tomorrow so I can stay in bed. But I won't, I'll get up and go on. Its what I do. From this perspective I think in my head that I won't volunteer for anything else for quite awhile. Ha, we all know better than that!
Blessings to you all, or just the one other person in the world that reads this drivel.
I saw this so long ago and copied it to a file and forgot about it. I saw it again on someone elses blog and thought I'd take the time tonight to put words to it.
I am from Raggedy Ann dolls, from Kool-Aid and Volkswagen Bugs.
I am from the stucco walled, ranch style, beanbag snuggling suburbs.
I am from the fern, daisy, macramé, the birds of paradise, tulips, sunny skies.
I am from grilling bratwursts at family gatherings and high foreheads, from Sandy and Dick and the Parrishes.
I am from the goofy and movie obsessed.
From stop arguing or I’ll knock your heads together and were going fishing at the lake.
I am from being dropped off at the local Baptist Sunday school room to driving back and forth between parents houses on Sunday afternoons.
I’m from the sandy shores of the West Coast and second generation immigrants from the mid west, from bratwursts and chocolate chip date nut cakes.
From the grandfather who earned three Purple Hearts in WWII on Okinawa, the accordion player and the paratrooper in Vietnam.
I am from Disneyland, Knott’s Berry Farm, Lake Nacimiento and the Colorado River, Mt. Shasta, Huntington Beach, surfboards and sunsets on the beach.
I hope this gives you a little something to smile about and something to identify with. I pray that you each have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day with your families and that you remember to love each other in spite of each other.
I just now realized how long it has been since I've posted!!!! Wow! So long! So much has been happening. I have so many ideas for posting in my head when I'm away from the computer, then when I sit down to write, I get caught up in looking at so many other things that the ideas just float away!
California: DD and I made a trek to Cali last week for the funeral of my oldest sister. It was odd. I have had no relationship with this sister for years. It took me years to be ok with that. We just happened to be born into the same family and did not have to be friends. This was hard to come to grips with. The lack of sistership or friendship was as much my decision as distance was. We had a difficult road to travel and we chose to take seperate paths. I'm ok with it. It was hard to watch my mom, grandmother and my nieces and nephew go through their grief, but that is why we were there. To be there for them. And we were. And I was glad.
We also got to see many friends and church family. It was a tiring 5 days and I was really ready to be back home in my own bed at night. It was not so much that I wanted to be in _______ville, just at home. Home were I could be fully comfortable. I have trouble, no matter how accomodating hosts may be, being comfortable away from home.
Work: Well, how strange that has been. While in Cali I got several calls for job interviews and a few calls about temp assignments. So, when I got home, I went on one interview, worked one day of a split two day temp job, had the weekend and tomorrow I go on another job interview, work at a bakery on Tuesday and work the second day of the split temp job. After the holiday, I have a final interview with the place from last week. I go back to interview with the hiring team at the first interview place. I know that sounds confusing, but really I have it all somewhat together. In the meantime, I'm wondering, what do I want to do with my life????? I really don't want a job that I'm only doing for the paycheck. Most of my jobs have been just that. This is an opportunity for all the young people out there to read and learn. GO TO SCHOOL!!!!! Find a profession, or at least a vocation!!!!!!! I've read Max Lucado's book, "Cure for the Common Life, Living in your sweet spot", twice now. My dh suggested I read it again after spilling my woe to him earlier. I told him that I think the sedond reading depressed me. I want to work a job that incorporates my passions and a paycheck. So far no dice. I need a mentor. A business or work mentor. Someone that can point me in the right direction on how to do what I love for a living. I really enjoy baking, I really enjoy planning parties and events, I loved working in ministry. After working in ministry, I think it spoiled me to working a regular job. I worked in an office at the church, but I really liked it. I was able to plan activities, help plan Missions conferences, VBS and other things that allowed the creative side of my mind to vent. I've worked in office jobs since moving here, but none have had the people factor mixed with the creative factor mixed with the kid factor or the baking factor. I think I'm having a mid life crises. I want to work in something I enjoy and make a living and be at home with my dd. Taking care of the house and working in community things and so on. Curse the 70's and all the women's lib stuff that told us we could have it all. (Acutally I'm thankful to an extent for all the work that was accomplished on behalf of women by women before us, without that we would not have these choices that are so driving me mad, so please don't get upset over the last sentence). Just know that I'm frustrated. Wow, that little topic certainly got away from me.
Church: We had our first annual Thanksgiving potluck at our new little church. There really is a great spirit there. So many stood and mentioned that they were thankful for the group that we are and how we seem to really love each other and take care of each other. After the things that happened to make this church come about, it is amazing that a group of people can come together with the sweet spirit that we have and enjoy each others' company. I know that this is only possible through the atoning blood of my Savior Jesus Christ. Thank you Lord for all that you did for us, for me. There were several funerals in our church family in the last week or two and our church family supported the families and loved them unconditionally. For that I'm thankful.
Holiday Wishes: This upcoming holiday season as it were will be quite different for my family. We have had a very difficult year financially and spiritually. I go into this holiest of times with gratitude on my heart. I'm grateful for my family, my church family, my friends, and most especially my Lord. I'm thankful that He keeps His promises. When I feel alone and like He is not there, I cry out to Him and He makes Himself known in ways that only He can. I'm never truely alone, not with Him in my heart. I may feel distant from Him, but that is me, not Him. I love my Lord!
Ah Fall, so much to say about Fall. Since last I wrote much has been going on. I am currently working a temp job. Tomorrow will be week three and probably the last week for this assignment. Working a full time schedule is really difficult as you also try to homeschool and keep the home. I can only do these hours when I know they are short term and will come to an end.
This weekend we held an "Old School" Harvest Party for our youth. Our landlady was gracious enough to allow us to use the barn and yard to host this event. I was a bit concerned that it wouldn't go well, my dh says I'm a pessimist, however things went quite well. We had 15 or so youth in attendance and our brother and sis in law came and helped run things. We started off with guessing how many candy corns were in a quart canning jar, the prize was the jar with the candy in it. I was surprised about the competition over that. We then moved on the the Pumpkin Seed spittin contest. That went well, one of the girls came in second on that. From there we went on the the 3-legged race. I had to go and cook the candy for the taffy pull during that, so I didn't see how that went but heard everyone yelling and having fun. We then had the kids bob for apples, the winner, a girl, got 8 apples. The second place person only got three. I didn't think ahead on that activity, teens have a bit of squemishness over sticking their face in other peoples spit. That was their phrase not mine. But they had fun. We moved on from there to making caramel apples. By the time they were eating their apples the candy was ready and we had a taffy pull. All of the kids got into that, a few had to be coaxed but had fun once they joined in. We then had hot dogs to roast over the bonfire. I had made homemade caramel corn and "Kitty Liter Cake". It was a fun evening. The weather was perfect, slight breeze but not too cool. Cool enough that the fire was nice.
On a less happy note. I got a call on Friday evening as I was running errands for the party. It was my mom and she was quite hysterical. My 40 year old sister was found dead by her children when they returned home from school on Friday afternoon. They don't know what the cause of death was, it was not foul play, she has not had good health for a long time, but it was not thought to be that bad. Through this all my pain is for my mom and nieces and nephew. I did not have a relationship with this sister. After many years of struggle over our relationship and over my feelings toward her. After seeking counsel and reading the Bible and praying at length, I finally came to a peace about our "relationship". I finally accepted that although we were blood related we were better off to wish each other well and go our own way in life. I have kept up with how the children were doing through my mom. They are handling this as well as young people can. They are 22, 16 and 14 years old. The younger two will have a hard time as their lives will once again be turned upside down. These children have only had stablity in the last three years or so of their lives. Please pray for the family as they go through this difficult time. There are many details surrounding this event that have yet to unfold, I pray that God would use me in a mightly way to help my family. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
It's late, and I worked a full day today and I haven't posted in awhile so I thought I'd type a quick little entry here so people can see that I'm still here. School is going well so far this year. DD complains that it is a lot of work, same dd that couldn't wait for school to start. I figured things would change fairly quickly, once the novelty wore off. Thats ok though, endurance and persaverance are not taught quickly.
I'm working outside the home again. This is supposed to be a two to three week assignment. We'll see about that. I'm covering for a man that had a heart attack and open heart surgery over the weekend. Please pray for him and his family as he recovers. I'm currently working for a trucking company in the shop/maintenance dept. I'm helping the shop supervisor with paperwork and phones. Everyone has been really nice so far and I'm sure I'll learn something new here that I can take with me as I experience one new thing after another. It has been a trial to learn so many new things so often, but, its ok, each step is one more thing in the arsenal of life. I meet new people and the potential for new friends is ever on the horizon.
A new family have made themselves known to our homeschool group and they have a daughter just a few months older than mine. Yeah! DD's friend that she made through our group is moving far away later this month. God takes away and God gives. I so hope we can make a connection with this family! Well, gotta get to bed so I can get up early tomorrow and go sit and stare at a wall all day, oh and answer phones, and enter orders, and file and all kinds of other "interesting" things.
My dd has awarded me the Nice Matters award. Thanks Boogie!
Not much else to say today except man I really dislike allergies! The fields around us have been harvested and are in the process of being burnt. It really messes with ones allergies and therefore everything else. Well, maybe the farmers will be done burning soon and we will be able to see and smell again without the burning smoke. Its Fall!!!!!!!! I love Fallllllll, I'm so glad its FAlllll, our air conditioners are about worn out, so thank goodness its Falllllll.
I know strange title, but before I get to my pumpkin thoughts I thought I'd mention school. School started yesterday. I was nice and since we had grandparents staying with us, I only had dd do two classes. So today she had to catch up on three more classes, it was a heavy work load, but she accomplished a lot and I'm proud of her. I was going to post about what she is studying but she did that on her blog, so you can go check it out there. She's on my friend list, Sharla88.
By the way, my dd is home again. She was gone for two whole weeks. We missed her quite a bit and at the same time were very glad that she was able to spend time with family. She had several adventures, met new people and grew closer to her cousins and aunt and uncle. I can't thank said aunt and uncle enough for their generosity and protection from difficult situations. I love you guys!!!!!!
Now, on to pumpkins. I have always liked to bake and if I can do it from scratch I try and do so. Pumpkin is one of those things that for whatever reason intimidated me. No LONGER! I'm not sure why. I had tried cooking with real pumpkin some last year and felt it took too long to peel and cook and so on. This year after reading online and talking with a vendor at the Farmers Market I've tried two ways to cook pumpkin, (this is mainly for baking mind you), and both were tremendously easy. They are a bit time consuming, however you don't have to spend time slaving over it, just prep and put on to cook and then when done, process.
Cooking method number 1: Wash (always), cut, remove guts and seeds (set seeds aside to roast for family), cut into wedges or chunks and put into the slow cooker. (The first pumpkin I did was a small sugar pie pumkin, so it fit in my slow cooker perfectly), add one cup water, set on high and cook for about three hours. Take out and let cool until you can handle it and scoop out cooked flesh. I then processed it in the food processor and set it in a coffee filter lined sieve to drain excess fluid. I then used it as you would canned pumpkin. It made great bread and I sold lots of it at the Farmers Market!
Cooking method number 2: Using a large "field" pumpkin, wash, cut, in half lengthwise, remove seeds and yuck, remember: save seeds to roast!, Set on a cookie sheet with a high lip to catch fluids, I covered mine with foil first, lay pumpkin halves on cookie sheet cut side down, (I used two cookie sheets), cover with foil and bake at 400 for about an hour to an hour and a half. Take out, drain some of the juice into the sink, let cool. I ended up cutting into sections for easier handling and then just scooping out the flesh and putting in ziplock bags for use tomorrow morning. I will then process them in the food processor and use as above.
I challange you, if you have never cooked a pumpkin before to do this. It is fun, it is easy, it is satisfying especially with the kids. Let the pumkin cool enough for them to help scoop out the flesh. It smells great, it feels good to make something wholesome. You can make so many things with this, from soups to stews to cakes, cookies, muffins, pies, breads etc....
If you take the challange, please leave me a comment and let me know how it went.
I was reading a friends' blog this morning, (as I should be doing other things), it was about her having a perfect family. She was answering a comment made about her "perfect" homeschooling family. She wrote about the fact that she only writes about the positive things in her life. She also wrote that she does have difficult times. I read her post and then came here to see my blog through other eyes. I've not been writing a lot recently because I feel like I have been being a downer. I want to encourage and uplift others. I also use this blog as a way to get things out of my head. So, do I write about the realities that I'm dealing with or only the positive things? There is a mixexd consensus out there about my personality. Some say I have the personality of Eyore. Some say I'm uplfiting. I think that I try as often as I can to look at things through rose tinted glasses. I try to give the benifit of doubt to those that do evil or at least mean things. It seems as if I defend many against others negative viewpoints of them. (Did that come across clearly?). I am a mix of both. There are times I champion the underdog and there are times that I'm harsh or overcritical. I desire to be more uplifting, more compassionate, more forgiving, more loving and more prayerful in my life. I continue to strive toward this. If I fail and I'm whiny or complaining on here, please forgive me.
Hi all, I just got back from a quick vacation. We went to see my family in Indiana. To my dear, dear sis, thanks so much for making us feel so comfortable at your home. Thank you for all the extra things that you took your time to do for us. I hope you have a great visit with my dd.
Indiana was very nice. We had the opportunity to meet one of our fellow HSB families while we were there. My dd was sosoooooo exxited about that. We had a nice visit, the family was warm and gracious.
The visit was too short, the drive almost too long, but well needed and enjoyed. I'm really tired now, so off to bed I go.
Sometimes the most difficult part of writing a post for me is figuring out what to title it, so I decided if I don't title tonight, I don't have to stay on any one subject. I just read at a friends blog that she is moving ffrom one state to another. Even though it is a move back to where they have lived before, I still feel for them in that it is a big undertaking. We moved, 14 months and almost two weeks ago, can you tell I'm still telling time by the move???? We are still adjusting. When we were in California we had stable jobs, I had been at mine for over 4 years and dh had been at his for 16. We were highly involved at our church and had a great group of friends that we looked upon as family. We lived in the same place for almost 11 years. That is the only time in my life that I have lived in one place for that long, or even half that time, (in other words for more than 5 years). I miss it still. So does dd. We try really hard to settle in here. I've worked through a temp agency here which has taken me to three different companies. What I have learned from that is that I can walk into an unfamiliar setting and do what needs to be done. I have learned what I don't like workwise. I have learned that I had probably the best job I could ever have before leaving CA. I knew then that I would miss my job, just not how long I would miss it. I've made my own job as well. Last summer not long after arriving here, I started baking bread and selling at the farmers Markets around here. I really enjoy that. This year I'm tired. I still love doing it, I just don't make very much money for the amount of work that it entails. I have learned a LOT through this endeavor. I won't go into all of it now. I will be looking for some kind of job in the next week or so. I dread this and I almost look forward to it. As long as I'm not making a living, we are stuck here in our present condition. I want to move on. I want space. I want to get all of our things out of storage and feel like we're living again, instead of feeling on hold. We have been blessed with our situation and I'm trying hard to be content in all things. I just didn't realize all of those things would come at once. DH has a job, he really doesn't like it, but he is trying to do all things as unto the Lord.
I've been feeling quite discontent as of late. I haven't been taking care of things as well as I should. Am I depressed??? Sometimes I think yes, then other times I think noooooo. I see the commercials for depression medications and don't feel a need for them, although I do identify with the people represented in those commercials. I know the feeling of not wanting to leave the house, not answer the phone, not open the mail. But I go on. I leave the house. I open the mail. I sometimes answer the phone. I buy food. I put gas in the car. I do the laundry, most of the time. Is a job the answer? Is staying home and changing the way we live the answer? We have changed, but are not pleased with that change. I have been trying to live frugally. We currently have no choice but to do that. Well, I'm sorry I'm venting. I wish I could be uplifing.
I am excited for the new school year. We have a table full of books. I need to go through them and determine what school supplies we will need. I hope that I can work and still give my dd the best of my attention for her schooling. DH will be home during the day with dd while she schools. I know other families do this, they both work and they make homeschooling work. I did it the first year. I did it last year. Just not as well as I would have liked. I hope I do better this year. I'm tired. I need to go to bed and sleep.
This is my place to blab about the trials and tribulations of life as a Christian mom of an only teen; living, learning and trying to help others in their walk with Christ our King. This will be our 4th year homeschooling. Dd is in 10th grade.
