Influence of the Past, The Hunger For More:

After two hospital-epidural births with my girls, I chose to try a home, water birth with my 3rd child. This was quite a change for this "mooshy" momma who used to say "I'll take the epidural in the 7th month please!" My reasonings behind this decision were sort of a metamorphosis through this entire pregnancy, along with bad experiences and scars lingering from my hospital births. I won't get into all of that here, I'll just say I had trust issues with doctors I didn’t know very well, and had lost faith in pain medications.

Setting the Stage for Change: (The first 7 months of this pregnancy)

We had moved to England with the USAF 2 years before we became pregnant. Although I appreciated the effort made my the onbase OB staff to ensure you met a different doctor at each appointment (as you were never guaranteed who would be on duty on birthday) it made it difficult for me to "bond" with any of them. Although they always treated me respectfully and had never done, or said, anything i disagreed with, my previous trust issues resurfaced, and a vague uneasiness settled itself in my core, an unease I could never quite put my finger on, yet never quite get rid of either. I left each appointment feeling satisfied, yet unsettled. It was a strange paradox.

Around my 5th month of pregnancy I began researching Homebirth, water birth, and Unassisted Childbirth. I spent hours upon hours reading birth stories, researching medical reports and case studies, and reading articles on all of the above. Around the 30th week of pregnancy I contacted our insurance to see if a homebirth would be covered, and if so
if there were any requirements I needed to be aware of. Much to my surprise Tricare would cover a midwife attended homebirth, but only if the Midwife was a Certified Nurse Midwife with the proper creditials. At 32 weeks (8 months into the pregnancy) I took the "plunge" and hired "Joann", an English Independent Midwife who had 8 years experience as an attending midwife in a hospital working for the NHS health care system, and 4 years under her belt working Independent of the NHS system and attending homebirths on her own. We sat on my livingroom floor and chatted like old girlfriends. Both DH and myself fell in love with her right away....and for the first time in the entire pregnancy, I finally felt a peace and a strong hope replace that vague sense of unease that had plagued me for months before.

Although I was a 3rd time mom, in many ways I felt like a first time mom with all the nervousness and anxiety of “going natural” for the first time, confidence issues came again and again... but that core of peace never left. I knew with every fiber within me that this was exactly right for us.

And so it begins! Labor Day arrives:

My due date was November 23rd, and that day came and went without so much a twinge. We had our 40 week appointment and decided we would try a foot massage with theraputic oils and using pressure points to tip us into labor. If it didn't work, then my body (and baby) wasn't ready and we'd wait until the next week to discuss other options. I felt peace and at ease...yes I was anxious to meet my baby, but I didn't want to rush nature at what it knew best. We prayed and I rested.

A few hours later i felt my first "real" contractions, although they were very short and incredibly mild...the only way I knew these were real was the "wavelike" pattern I could feel them make, starting at my lower back and going down my abdomen. I tried not to get excited, or pay too much attention to them. But after 24 hours of these easy-smeesy contractions I became frustrated and literally said out loud, "God if this is it, give me something real!Otherwise, I am done with these. Make them stop so I can rest." I got my wish. Hubby and I slept a few hours that night then I awoke in the wee hours feeling contractions that were a little bit stronger, and just "felt" a bit different. I waited an hour before waking my husband to be sure, but finally (after some "bloody show" to confirm) I was able to wake him with the words I'd dreamed of saying for months, "we're in labor!"

Preparing the house and establishing "labor routines:"

The early hours of labor were spent with us puttering around the house, calling our midwife to let her know, kneeling in and out of the shower, slow dancing the contractions away, and listening to my Hypnobabies cd's. Soon friends came to pick up our girls, and around 7:00 am, 4ish hours after my first "real" contractions, Our midwife, Jo, arrived. She checked and found my cervix to be 3-4 cm, 50% effaced, and very stretchy. I was hoping for more, but was encouraged none the less that we were indeed in REAL labor and finally, this was THE day! Not long after this, it was confirmed by my body's natural reaction to all the birthing hormones dumped into my bloodstream: I threw up! Not a fun confirmation but I remembered this happening in early labor with my 2nd child, and i used every little thing to encourage me that things were moving along just as they should and I should relax and trust The Process of Birth.

For the next 2 hours I wavered in early to active labor. I kneeled against a favorite chair, listened to my cd's, hubby put counter pressure on my back, and I sipped gatorade and ate small amounts of some homemade Chicken Noodle Soup I had made previously and frozen specifically for this day. I loved being able to move freely as I needed. I loved eating and drinking as I needed. I had no tubes or cords attached to me and Joann checked my blood pressure and baby's heartrate periodically each hour. I loved how she adpated to MY space. I *Never* felt intruded upon, but rather respected, encouraged, and cared for. No matter where I was at the time, what position I was in, she adapted to me and it felt wonderful! I had no outside stresses to contend with, and it made it incredibly easy to relax with the ebb and flow of labor. Kneeling seemed to help the most, so I spent most of the time kneeling against pillows on my favorite chair and swaying my hips.

Moving from early labor into active labor:

Soon I became tired of "just breathing" and the water birth pool was looking really, really nice. I had labored in water with my 2nd daughter and I remembered how the bouyancy of the water helped combat gravity, made changing positions easier, and was just a flat out soothing and comforting resource. How many of us women retreat to a hot bath after a hard day to relax and de-stress? Why would labor be any different? Joann gave me a wonderful back massage using soothing lavender oils to relax. She didn't want me in the tub before active labor had commenced, and as of now my contractions were still coming every 5-7 minutes and lasting only 30 seconds or so. Her massage was amazing. I
remember actually debating to myself, do I even want the water? This is just SO nice....but soon enough the water won. Around 10:00am I was finally in the pool, kneeling against the side as it just felt right, and my labor picked up.

Transition commences:

While in the pool we hit transition, I vomited again and Joann gave me two Teaspoons of Honey to replace energy lost. I knew 1 good heave was worth 10 contractions against your cervix, so I focused on this positive point instead of the fact that i absolutely, with everything within me, HATE vomiting! DH was in the pool with me, still putting counter pressure on my back and encouraging me with relaxation cues from our Hypnobabies, as at this point I had stopped listening to the cd's. The blood pressure checks stopped when I was in the water, but the hourly doppler checks continued. It was wonderful knowing my baby was coping well, and helped me to further relax and trust.

Transition was my #1 fear with this birth as I had never experienced it full force with my other births. I felt hot, yet shivered. The contractions were around every 2-3minutes or so, and lasting about 1 minute long. I had always feared transition to be a never ending waterfall of pain, but it wasn't this way at all. It was hard, and hard work, but when the
contractions ended they were completely gone and I had spaces of beautiful rest in between. Joann was massaging my hands and would deep breathe and give direct eye contact to me during the contractions. Usually I labor with my eyes closed, but during transition I needed something more to "ground" me. The physical touch on the hands and the direct eye contact kept me focused, and the mimicking her deep breathing helped me to know what to do. Her emotional support was fantastic!

Somehow I think your body must release some sort of "fearing" hormones during transition. There was a point when I began crying and felt afraid, although I could not think of anything I was actually afraid OF. The cry was a "hormonal cry"...you ladies know what I mean, no reason to cry, but that need of a release that crying can bring....yeah, that kind of cry. Joann knew right away time was getting close. She asked hub to top up the pool with warmer water to help with the baby's transition, checked on baby with the doppler and made a few notes in her book.

Ready to Push! The JOY of birth finally arrives:

Soon I was feeling "pushy", but as I had always had medicated births before I was unsure if I was really feeling the urge to push, or was just tired of breathing and coping and wanted some control, something to actively DO! Joann encouraged that if i felt like pushing I should obey my body and do so...I tried a few experimental pushes, but was still unsure, even though they felt "right". I knew if I was pushing against a cervix that wasn't ready, it would swell and send us back a few centimeters. Joann doesn't like giving unnecessary cervical checks, as each one gives another chance to introducing infection...the one I had upon her arrival earlier that day was the only cervical check I had received for the entire pregnancy and labor. (I loved this by the way...i am one of those ladies whose cervix doesn't dialate until active labor, so cervical checks during pregnancy are just fruitless and disheartening to me) Joann suggested that I see if I can feel baby myself...so reluctantly I tried, and sure enough! Up to around my second knuckle I felt something hard and sqooshy. I just want to say it was AMAZING to be the VERY FIRST to touch my baby! I told everyone, "well, i don't feel hair" which made everyone laugh...but I was confused what the sqooshy feeling was. I told Joann either it was the bag of waters over baby's head, or it was a cervix, I wasn't sure. She checked and said, "oh Kristy! that is the bag of waters! He is being born "in the caul!" he's right there Kristy! push your baby out!" it felt so good, and so liberating to hear those words!

For 10 minutes we pushed and he was born perfect in his bag of waters, as well as into the birthpool! A "waterbaby" all the way guided to the surface by husband's free hand (he was supporting me in a semi-squatting position with his other arm) and Joann held the other side of baby. I held him in my arms completely unbelieving we were done! we had overcome so many uncertainties and fears, engrained from a drama ridden society, other people's disbelief in the birth process, and my past scarred births...and yet here was my baby! looking at his world around him, making little squeeks and newborn cries, flush with a beautiful pink color!...we had done it! after everything, it was over and we had done it! I was sitting on my husband's lap in the pool, and we both cradled baby. Joann ran for our camera and took these first photos. At first I was thinking, "what? a picture NOW?!" but I am beyond grateful that she took it and forever marked these first precious moments ofjoy and triumph. I hadn't even realized Hubby had shed tears of emotional awe and joy until I saw it later.

The last part of labor, and the beginnings of bonding:

I wanted a "physiological 3rd stage"...meaning, no pulling, tugging, or drugs used to "help"in the delivery of the placenta. I wanted the natural release of Oxytocin and the contractions that come from nursing the newborn to deliver the placenta as natural as possible. I also wanted my baby to get all the blood he could from the cord before it was clamped. within 10 minutes or so, the water in the pool began to cool and I was ready to get out, to do so meant cutting the cord a bit earlier than I had planned, but none the less seemed right for the moment. The cord was cut and babe wrapped up, hubby and I got out and toweled off and spent some skin-to-skin time on the couch with our new son. While we waited on the placenta, we introduced nursing to baby, and I was examined. No tears, skidmarks, or scratches! He was my biggest baby yet, and no tearing! Perhaps there is something to be said about the water helping with the elasticity of the skin afterall!

Within the hour we were calling family and friends giving them the good news that our home, waterbirthed baby boy had arrived, healthy and beautiful, apgars of 10's all the way around.(higher scores than my previous hospital born babies!) with brownish eyes like his mama! He laid awake experimenting with nursing and gazing into our eyes and looking at his new world for 3 entire hours! His alertness to his surroundings astounded me, as my other baby's always fell alseep within half an hour after birth, (which *if* I was lucky meant after all was said and done with weighing, and pricking, and eye drops...I *might* have 5 minutes of awake time with my prize before baby crashed.) But with this birth, time was dictated how we wanted. Dear son was weighed and checked hours after birth when we were ready. Again, it felt so nice to have our desires finally respected. The peace within our house abounded, and ebbed, and flowed freely...as Joann cleaned up around our house and helped empty the pool, soon father, mother, and child fell asleep together on the couch.

A few hours after, His new big sisters would get to meet and hold their long awaited baby brother for the first time. Our 4 year old held him, cooed at him, then sang "Happy Birthday" to him (which made everyone cry) Our 3 year old burst into a long train of giggles that barely stopped for the next 3 days. Husband and I were on an adrenalin high that lasted for 3 months despite sleep exhaustion. Finally we had a birth done our way, that fit our family, in our home filled with peace, and love...the same home that he was conceived in, he was born in, and now he would be raised in.

Joseph James IV
born at 40 weeks and 2 days
at 12:22 pm England time
on November 25th, 2006

6 lbs, and 11 ounces
19 1/2 inches long
wispy dark hair and brownish eyes

after:
9 hours labor
20 minutes of transition
10 minutes pushing
and 30 minutes for the placenta.
my quickest, easiest labor yet- even med free!!!

Our first Family of 5 Photo! 8 hours after birth:

Birth isn’t something to fear and in normal pregnancies, not something to be medically managed, but rather to be respected and allowed to unfold. God’s design is beautiful and the Bible doesn’t lie…we truly are “beautifully and wonderfully made”. Yes going natural in some ways was much harder than my previous experiences, but even then only truly hard for those last 30 minutes, and I traded a more comfortable, peaceful, respected 9 hours of labor for hard for half an hour...a trade well worth it in the end! Will I do it again? Yes. Absolutely. As long as the new pregnancy continues in a way that myself, or babe, doesn't need the equipment only available at hospitals, why be there? Homebirth isn't for everyone, but it was right for us, and I will forever be grateful to the people who helped make this experience possible for us. Thank you!

Midwife Jo, Me, and "New" again Big Sister Julia Holding 10 day old Joey:

**To anyone whom has had a hard labor/delivery, whom has been taught through Hollywood’s desire for ratings on drama to fear birth, whom has sifted through horror story after horror story from friends or family or random ladies in the super market check out line, to anyone whom has been told your body makes babies “too big” or was deemed with “failure” to progress...to anyone whom harbors scars of being told they were “broken” in one form or another…please check out Ina May Gaskin’s book “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth”. It is a healing book. One that restores faith, peace, and beauty back into birthing. Birth doesn’t have to be frightening. It doesn’t have to involve the words “suffering” or “enduring.” For all those that want to make birth their own and not something that had to be “survived”, please look into this book. I highly recommend it. It changed my life.**