Lessons Learned On the Farm

• Aug. 20, 2008 - Faith just will not tolerate some things!

Although we most recently caught HER in the trap going after some of our hen's precious eggs, Faith was highly insulted when we discovered THIS nasty varmint the other morning.

And oh my word, even though our two girl dogs fight and bicker with each other as sisters sometimes will, they made quite the dynamic duo as they lectured Mr. Possum on the finer points of respecting our boundaries. Faith does NOT tolerate possums!

I had a hard time getting the video to embed. Just click here to watch the dynamic duo!
Marsha, I want to know your secret for embedding videos!

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• Jul. 30, 2008 - My neighbor has a sense of humor

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The boys went over to say Hello to the neighbors this afternoon and I noticed Jon had something on his back when he got home.

Apparently not all funny bumper stickers actually end up on people's cars.

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• Jul. 2, 2008 - Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This

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I enjoy putting together a jigsaw puzzle.
Especially one that has lots of smaller things within the larger picture so that it's easier to match up words, lines, colors, etc...

This one definitely fits the bill.

Did you just start humming You Ain't Nothin But a Hounddog?! Go ahead and admit it. Oh you weren't? Well you probably are now.

However I just ran into ONE little problem with the puzzle. I mean I conquered putting together all different pictures of Elvis' face. Some black and white, some color, some big, some small.

But then I just ran into this one teeny, tiny, eeensy weeensy, little problem . . .

ONE. MISSING. PIECE.

We looked all over the table. We looked under the table, in the box, on the floor, in the chairs, on and on and on. And I'm just thinking that I, my friends, am not just one french fry short of a happy meal or a few bricks shy of a load, apparently I actually am one piece shy of a thousand piece puzzle.

Poor Elvis.

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• Jun. 10, 2008 - Some girls like flowers

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I mean, why sit in a regular old nesting box
when you can have a primo spot on the front porch complete with flowers?

Oh, you mean this isn't a nest? What do you mean it was "just for decoration"?

I am SO embarrassed, truly I am. Mortified actually.
I can't believe that I was so presumptuous.
How will I ever show my face again?!

I'll just be leaving now. Pretend I was never here. Maybe the flowers will fluff back up.
And what's that camera for?
Hey, put that down.
You're not going to BLOG about this are you?

Ummm, that egg?
It's a gift - for you.
I meant to do that. Really...

PS - Are any of you Green Acres fans? This little hen has reminded me of the episodes in Season One where Lisa talks to her hen and "orders" the number of eggs she wants. Can any of you remember that hen's name? I have been wracking my brain, watching the DVDs, and googling trying to find that name. It's kind of driving me a bit nutso.

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• May. 4, 2008 - An Email Funny

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I've known some pretty good pranksters in my life... and this email reminds me of all of them!

Mr. And Mrs. Pallone are retired. Mrs. Pallone insists that Mr. Pallone go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Pallone loves to browse.

Here's a letter sent her by the store:

Dear Mrs. Pallone,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Pallone are listed below.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares!" And watched what happened.
Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M 's on layaway.
Sept 14: Moved a CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers that he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the anti-depressants.
Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his Madonna look using different size funnels.
Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,and yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ..

14. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey, There's no toilet paper in here!"

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• Mar. 6, 2008 - In the Eyes of My 6 Year Old

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So I was checking out Marsha's blog and saw her hilarious entry about how her little guy saw a picture of Dwight D. Eisenhower and thought it was his dad.

I laughed ... and I sympathized.

See the other day, Tony came home from TSC with their latest edition of Out Here.

Now take a look at the cover...

and then look at this picture from my UnlikelyHomesteader blog...

Poor Jon thought I was not only writing for TOS, but that I was now getting my picture right on the cover of a different magazine. (sigh)

Alas, that's not the case. That lady is the owner of Painted Hand Farm (which sounds really cool - and not just because it's in Pennsylvania) and they've got not only chickens and a garden, they're big time farm folks with sheep, cows, and the such too. When I checked out her site and blog, I was really impressed with not only all they've done, but with how many magazines they've been featured in, and how quickly they seemed to have learned so much. They only started out with all this farming stuff about 4 years before we did and we're still trying to raise a decent garden and a few meatbirds, keep some laying hens, and just learn how to take care of this place.

Some folks apparently do a better job of riding the learning curve!

Nonetheless, I'm flattered that my son thinks I could actually be a Cover Girl for any kind of magazine and I'm a little more inspired to stick with this whole farming thing. It's always just interesting to see things through your 6 year old's eyes. It's not like he thought I was a president or anything, but an official farm girl is good enough for me.

(And on the totally shallow side, look how tan she is and how long her hair is?! I am NOT blessed with either!)

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• Mar. 5, 2008 - This is how mastiffs hibernate

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No need to curl up in a den for the winter.
Nope, she'll just sprawl out on the couch.
And to anyone who might possibly visit my house someday -
this explains the smell.

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• Feb. 21, 2008 - A True Kentuckian

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OK, I'm not saying that we're all like this, but boy oh boy, a bunch of these are TOTALLY true!

You're a True Kentuckian If....

1. You can properly pronounce: Louisville, Leitchfield, and Maryville. (Bonus points for Cadiz.)

2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel. (Someone reminded me that I should have put something in my A Day At My House entry about stray tornadoes!)

4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade. (Momma taught me that from a young age.)

5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggys. (I never say sacks. That one is off for me.)

6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at weddings and funerals.

7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent. (Not as much as they think we do!)

8. You measure distance in minutes. (Always have. Always will.)

9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean. (Not so much on this one. I know what an ocean is and Lake Barkley isn't one!)

10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit. (Doesn't everyone though?)

11. You know cowpies are not made of beef. (Bonus points if you've ever played Cowpie Bingo)

12. Someone you know has used a basketball schedule to plan their wedding date. (These folks are completely nuts about UK basketball.)

13. You know someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.

14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, beer, and bait all in the same store.

15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is. (And I'd be mighty happy to have one!)

16. You know everything goes better with Ranch. (No. But I have noticed that!)

17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply. (VERY true.)

18. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin'" to send them to your friends and finally:

19. You are 100% Kentuckian if you have ever had this conversation:

"You wanna coke?"

"Yeah."

"What kind?"

"Dr Pepper."

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• Nov. 5, 2007 - I had an idea to blog about something, but then I lost it...

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Is that not the most frustrating thing?! It was right on the tips of my fingers and then I had to do something and now - NOTHING - I can NOT remember what I was thinking. ugh...

So let's see - random thoughts....

Hypothetically ...

IF a person happened to have a problem with oh say, something like a little hair on her chinny, chin, chin - totally hypothetical here now, that person could look at Wal-Mart for this chinese torture device called Tweeze. Hypothetically that person might not ever use it again though and instead might just see if she can portray the Little Pig with the hair on her chinny, chin, chin in the Three Little Pigs story. That's all totally hypothetical though.

In real life...

We were at a friend's house the other day and the boys were all playing some video game. The older boys told my youngest that they had to mute it because it had some "bad language". My little guy seemed perplexed, but went along with it. Later though, he went up to the mom and said, "What's bad language? Is it like a foreign language?" and she was trying to figure how to answer him. Finally she said it was something like "bad words" and he said, "Oh I don't know any bad language. I know English and a little bit of Spanish, but no BAD language."

And that my friends is why I probably shouldn't blog when I can't think of anything to blog about.

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• Nov. 1, 2007 - The City Museum in St. Louis

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We spent our last day in St. Louis at The City Museum. We actually even stayed an extra day just so that we could go there. They are one of those places that is closed on Mondays and Tuesdays in St. Louis.

At the top of their website it says - Where the Imagination Runs Wild - and that pretty much hits the nail on the head. It's very Willy Wonka-ish.

It has slides that go down three stories, indoor caves and tunnels, a train for the little kids, a room with ramps and ropes where the kids slide around and fly across, fantastic designs made from recycled materials, and so much more.

Jon thought these rocks in the caves were diamonds!

Jake in a tunnel.

Tony squeezing through a hidden underground tunnel.

This picture has a funny story.

This place has so much to see and do, you really can't take it all in at once. Tony had Jon stand next to this statue for a pic, but Jon didn't even look behind him. He was just totally focused on the slides and tunnels. Finally Tony told him to look behind him and it kinda made him jump!

Even the roof of this place is packed with things to see and do.
You can read the story of how the museum got started HERE.

And things just got even better on the outside. A giant ball pit for kids of all ages.

And an outdoor treehouse made from recycled materials.

They call this outdoor area MonstroCity.
You don't even want to know how high up my kids are climbing into that airplane.
It's safe, but not for the faint of heart.