Ashley's Life and whatnot…? Part One :)

1. My name is Ashley Elizabeth Holbert. My parents decided to be unique
when they named me. “Ashley” happened to be one of the most popular girl
baby names of 1995. Originality. I think not.  

2. I tend to say “I’m so tired” in the middle of conversations. Don’t worry
and think you’re just boring me. Actually, I’m a ninja and at night I have to
fight bad guys in my homeland. That’s why I’m so tired. Totally not you………

3. ^ i make up really good exscuses. I’ve found the best one to use when
you want to get off the telephone is to scream “Oh my gosh my nephew’s leg
is stuck in the microwave! I gotta go!” Or another favorite: “THE MANAGER
OF EL NOPAL IS TRYING TO STEAL MY CAT!” 

4. I always used to think it was so hilarious to imitate those kids with
retainers that talk funny, so I had this freakishly awesome comedian 
“retainer voice” I’d use that provoked great laughter amidst the multitudes.
Than I got a retainer. Two of them. They are from the devil, and after that,
while spitting in everyones faces, I tried to convince the world I was 
like a Slovakian exchange student. Because if you have an accent and live in
a foreign country, it’s hot.

5.  Most girls I know between the ages of 11-18 want to be a
photographer just because they took a picture of a dandelion with
their cellphone. I defy the odds. Every picture I take has a thumb in it
somewhere blocking the lens, the effect making my head look like it
is sprouting a sumo wrestler.

6. I actually sit in the shopping carts in stores when I feel like it,
because there is no rule that says I cannot. If you wanted to you
could even pick up guys that way because I got folllowed by a flock
of them screaming “baby!” and pretending to cry. See, already an
endearing pet name that Justin Bieber sings about.

7. I am so scared of frogs. Just the thought of them jumping all over
me makes me want to pee on myself or throw up blood or something.

8. The number 8 is my favorite number

9. When I was a child, I thought I lived back in prairie times.
So I wore a bonnet in public. And now that’s just humiliating, but I
guess back then everyone thought either I was expressing myself, or
I lived in a commune.

10. I am homeschooled, and yet on occasion, back when I was a prairie
child, I used to walk to school. Up and down my road. I guess this is so
that one day when I am really old, I can tell my great grandkid that I
walked to school uphill both ways.

11.  I’m kind of artsy. And Making music is like my life.

12.  My hair is actually straight. I just curl it to be different.

13. I like when people tell me stories. Like honestly if you have a fun
story to tell, Ill just sit and listen all day long.

14. If you scratch your fork across your plate or bite it, you will be
put on my hitlist and I will quite possibly throw my fork at you, for
the preservation of my ears. Sorry, that’s just how it is.

15. I’m an extremely optimistic person. Like if you were sewing and
accidentally put a seam in my finger, I would probably comment on
what a cool looking stitch it was.

16. I am just amazing at math. I could do it all day long. It is like my
obsession. I am the chinese man living in your calculator. (You know
just how to push my buttons) JUST KIDDING! It would be terrible if I
like cut my fingers off with a hatchet, because then there’d be no way
for me to do addition.

17. I’m totally into the whole action movie thing. Like no lie. Totally
digging them. And they actually provoke me to have these dreams
where I’m dressed in all black, sliding through lazors, kicking butt, which
raises my self esteem to the max.

18. My new years resolution is to not talk bad about myself
(especially my appearance) and for every bad thing I do say I
have to redeem it with a good thing.

19. On my 18th birthday, I am going skydiving. And if somehow something
goes wrong, it’s rude to stare at squished hobbits.

20. This weekend I rode a bus for the first time. What disturbed
me most was the kit beside the first aid kit that was titled “Bodily Fluid Cleanup”.
What kind of bodily fluid? Guts?!?!?!??!?! Might come in handy if my sky diving
exscursion goes terribly wrong.

21. I helped convince my nephew one time that the loch ness monster
lived in my lake. But now, I’m disappointed, because nessy would be an
incredibly awesome pet.

22. I am about to bust the strongest Ashley myth. This is the conception
that I am short. I am actually 5’5. You just all seem to think I am tiny enough
to fit in your pocket.

23. I am elite because I drink Diet Coke. Like if Diet Coke had existed
during World War II, Hitler would have been like “You can only be in
my army if you are anglo saxon with the blonde hair blue eyes, and you
drink Diet Coke.”

24.  I’m such a history geek, something I never lost after the whole
prairie bonnet/walking to school days. ^ My jokes go as follows:
“You might be a Hitler if, you make someone say ‘hail’ when they give
you a high five” Yak. Yak. Yak.

25. When I am in a peculiar mood, I write poetry. I have at least 32
poems on my ipod. Most of the titles of my facebook photos are
taken from my poetry.  

26. This year I will bury a Time Capsule. And I will dig it up in ten
years. And the poster for the movie 2012 will be in it.

27. Snuggie commercials bring me a certain joy that I think isn’t healthy.

28. I’m quite hyper actually. Ryan says that if I drank a redbull, I would
climb a tree and fly.

29. I run very slowly. When I run, it’s a reencarnation of the
March of the Penguins. Like the only way I could win a race is if I was
in a Slow Person Support Group and we raced one legged midgets
(And they gave me a head start)

30. I wish I had a stunt double.

Please, repost your own thirty random facts! I’d love to get to know you ! :)