Our Quiver Full Testimony

Our journey to becoming “Quiver Full” started in 1988 like many of my other “journeys” have started… with a good book.  I had bought Mary Pride’s “All the Way Home” at the Christian bookstore, took it home and devoured it.  Dh, Steve was less than thrilled.  We had been Christians for only about 6 months and, never being one to swim against the current, this concept of allowing the Lord to plan our family seemed outright bizarre to him.  Children are demanding and expensive.  Our marriage was quite unstable.  What would people think???  We were already considered strange for home schooling but this was just more than his mind could comprehend.

As a side note I’d like to add that I had been involved in a bible study with a couple of friends a few months earlier discussing Godly Womanhood/Proverbs 31 via cassette tapes by a lovely woman named Emily Duenke.  In one of these lessons she spoke about allowing God to plan our families–but my friend who was leading the study refused to allow us to listen to it since we had several children already and our income levels were fairly low.  Praise God that He was determined for me to know His truths concerning the blessings of children regardless of what anyone else thought about our circumstances!!

Through my persistence and prayers Steve did eventually warm up to the idea.  When our first QF baby (our fourth child) came along he was fairly onboard with the concept but still had his reservations.  The Lord began to open doors for our family as we walked in obedience and He blessed us in so many ways that we hadn’t expected.  Financially we were doing great–not going backwards as Steve had worried would happen.  But the pressure to “be responsible” started to mount and with the next two positive pregnancy tests he was less than thrilled–especially with my sixth pregnancy which turned out very sadly as the baby was born with a lethal dwarfism and died only moments after birth.

This was a pivotal time in our life when the Lord did a mighty work in our family.  We had just started our business, had lost our home in the flood of 1993, was living in a 23’ RV while trying to find a home to rent all the while pregnant with baby #6.

Miraculously, we found a place to live and Red Cross had seen to any of food/clothing needs.  Our needs were abundantly met once again.

When I was 7 months along we made the decision to see one of the doctors in the area where we had previously lived that did things a bit more naturally than most doctors.  (Up until then we had not seen a doctor because we weren’t sure where we would be living.)  He insisted that I have an ultrasound and a few weeks later I drove the 3 hour drive, alone, for my appointment.  Deep down, I had known all along that something was dreadfully wrong with the baby but my mind was so full of everything else going on that I just refused to face the facts.  Unfortunately for me, Steve had stayed home to watch the children.  I cried all the way there knowing that my baby was going to die.  The ultrasound revealed my fears to be true.  I didn’t know how I was going to make the long drive home alone or how I was going to explain this sad development to the children.

Losing the baby was a real eye-opener.  We had taken for granted so many things–like healthy, living children.  I had spent the pregnancy feeling resentful of having more than I could handle and wishing the baby away.  How quickly my attitude changed!!  All during this time of hardship, my faith in the Lord’s provision and goodness never wavered.  Steve’s became stronger.  I found that he had fully come to trust the Lord to bless us with however many children He desired.  Oh happy day!!!  The opposition to us having more children (a few callous people actually insinuated that we were being punished through the loss of our baby for our foolishness to not use birth control) continued but we stood side by side, strong in the conviction that the Lord is the rightful owner of our reproductive systems.  How foolish to think we knew better than our Father, who only seeks to do us good. 

Have we ever wanted to turn from the Truth?  I confess that we have had our share of weak moments when we have prayed for the Lord to keep me from conceiving–yet I have always amended those prayers with “Thy will be done”.  There is peace deep inside while being in His will and distress while living in the flesh against His will.  Our family chooses peace.

In these recent years, with yet another loss of a baby (stillbirth at full term) we have come to realize that it is a more difficult road for us to accept NOT having a new baby in the house every 18 to 24 months.  As my fertility draws closer to an end, my arms ache to hold more children and my heart’s cry is that our Father would bless us with more children.  Gone are those crazy days when I wasn’t sure that I could make it though another day, being far outnumbered by little children who needed so much of me.  How I miss that now!!

In both the addition and losses of children and grandchildren, I have come to see that God is indeed sovereign.  Though the prayers of a righteous man availeth much, God will do as He deems best.  I visualize our choice to walk the Quiver Full life as jumping off the ledge of faith with a heart full of peace and excitement knowing that the Lord will catch us before we hit the ground. 

And what a wonderful ride this Quiver Full life has been!  If I could go back and do it all over again, I’d do it in a heartbeat.  Even through the hard times and the times of loss the Lord has been so close to me, making those times extra special.  He has shown me in those dark times how much He loves me and that I am His.  I have cried and ranted and raved while He has patiently listened and filled my heart with His peace because I have trusted in Him.  And as all of the children the Lord has blessed us with surrounds us, I am filled with deep thankfulness for the work He has done because He chose to reveal His truth about “family planning” to us.  Glory to God in the highest!!!

I am sad for my Christian brothers and sisters who believe the lies of the enemy; that children are a burden and self gratification is the most important goal in life.  It breaks my heart that many of them are led to get “broken” at the overbearing suggestions of others who have no right meddling in the marriage bed of a husband and his wife.  My goal is to live my life, walking in God’s will, that others may see that children are a blessing and that God is good all the time.

If you’ve bore with me and made it this far, you have the patience of a saint and I want to say "thank you" for letting me share.