Sex education doesn’t have to be a scary, nail-biting, dreadful “talk” that happens as a knee-jerk reaction to questions your child asks (or things your child sees). Instead, try to keep it a part of your daily routine as much as possible!
If you’ve never had the opportunity to see sexual education as a normal part of parenting, maybe this slightly tongue-in-cheek list of routine places for sex ed can help:
1: The restroom & laundry.
Might as well start with the mundane, often messy part of child-rearing! Did you know that potty training could be considered an integral part of sex ed? If you successfully potty trained your child, congratulations – that’s a momentous achievement right there!
During puberty, the restroom will again come into focus as you walk with your daughter through menstrual periods and wearing pads, tampons, or menstrual cups. If you have sons, you will need to be there to explain nocturnal emissions and wet bedsheets. Don’t leave your children to navigate this territory alone!
2: In the car as you’re running errands.
In my “Fiercest Blaze” book, I relate how my mom strategically used our time driving together in the car to answer all sorts of questions I had – ranging from complex, philosophical musings (e.g. “What do you think our purpose on Earth is?”) to simple ones (e.g. “What do yellow lines on the road mean?”).
Now that I have children of my own, I’m totally stealing my mom’s trick of imparting generational wisdom and wonder to those in the back seat while stopped at a red light or driving down familiar roads. These times can include going off to music practice, sports programs, or just picking up groceries.
Of course, you may need to press pause on these interesting conversations if you need to pay extra attention to your primary mission, which is getting safely to your destination. Use with caution!
3: On TV or other screens as you’re watching with your children.
If you see advertisements for tampons, menstrual pads, etc., these can be excellent conversation-starters into “what to expect” if your children haven’t reached puberty.
Even if you see an advertisement with your children that you’d rather not have seen (e.g. condoms, or a sexually suggestive skit), pray about how to make this a teachable moment. As a parent, you can have tremendous influence over how your children see the world around them.
Rob Jackson explained it this way in an article for Focus on the Family:
“We can also point to various cultural messages about sexuality and develop teachable moments. For example, we can’t shelter our children from every lewd poster in the mall or every sensual song played in a restaurant. But we can take these moments to affirm the basic goodness of sexuality because of God’s loving design, and then make a comment about what’s wrong with how sexuality is misrepresented in the culture. These brief messages will be more impactful when offered in a positive and relational manner. Our messages need to be tied to God’s love for us, and how we express our love for Him through obedience.”
4: Over a meal at the dining room table.
Eating always seems to invite an added desire to talk and share with one another! Haven’t you noticed how great conversations often start around good meals? Coming from an Asian family that loved to eat together, I always noticed how dining room tables were some of the best places to be in any house. Folks always seemed to gather there – sometimes even if there was no food around, but just because it was such an inviting place.
Birthdays can be a great introduction to telling very young kiddos about how babies are born – some of the first basics of sex education. I still remember my parents reminiscing every year at my birthday, telling me how I was born in the morning at the hospital, screaming and kicking into the world “just before breakfast-time – you must have been hungry!” Such fond memories can help your child recognize their place in the family and just how loved and known they are.
5: Around bedtime, maybe with Bible reading or just an informal discussion.
Lots of passages in the Bible talk about sexual relationships and the proper use of sex between husband and wife! Also stories of times when sex was not used appropriately, and the disastrous consequences that often result. (For more info, see this related blog post: What does the Bible say about sex education?)
As always, use your God-given parental discretion when introducing these topics. It also helps to talk with your spouse beforehand if you are married, to make sure you’re both on the same page when introducing these topics.
Sometimes those quiet moments as you’re tucking your child in, or just creating space on a weekend night, can act as times to filter through the noise and see what’s really on your child’s mind.
Any other places/ways to add sex ed as part of your parental daily routine? Let us know in the comments or send us a private message!
