Welcome to Thursday Nite Lives‼ (satire)
Fill Jonsen: And now from our spectacular Burbank studio, here’s Johnny!
Johnny Mac: Hey Fill, did you hear that Arnold* is going to be Governor of California again.
Fill: Huh?!
Johnny: Yeah, for sure, he told me just yesterday, “I’ll be back!”
** APPLAUSE **
Fill: OK folks, it’s times for Bible Quiz‼
** LOUDER APPLAUSE **
Fill: Oh Sage of Sun Valley, what is the name of Moses’ older brother who died when he was 123 yo [Num. 33:39]?
Johnny: Aaron.
Fill: Sorry Fullerton Brush Man, only real Bible scholars get to eat lutefisk. The correct answer is Ay-Ay-Ron. Better luck next time [Pr. 16:33].
** HOLY ROLLER LAUGHTER **
Johnny: Yo Fill, have you considered hosting an Amateur Hour featuring up-and-coming singers and dancers?
Fill: Hmmmm … maybe I’ll call it “Fill & the Blanks.” Next, we have a new episode of The Amazing Midian! Oh Canadian Anglican who thinks tall thoughts, here is your first envelope [Johnny holds it to his head].
TAM: Andy Stanley [Johnny opens the sealed envelope & reads the enclosed card] … What famous son of Charles Stanley (d. 4-18-23) said the following? “The Bible did not create Christianity. The resurrection of Jesus created and launched Christianity. Your whole house of Old Testament cards can come tumbling down. The question is, did Jesus rise from the dead? And the eyewitnesses said he did.”
Fill: Oh Verbose-on-the-Verses and former football star [LA Pacific College], here is your second envelope.
TAM: Sy Garte … What biochemist with a two-letter first name said this: “I read the Gospels and had another shock [after visiting a lively, friendly church]: I found them beautiful and inspiring. So far as I could tell, they carried the ring of truth. And the Book of Acts struck me as actual history, not at all like a fictional account concocted to enslave the masses – the kind of reading my Marxist upbringing would have conditioned me to affirm.”
https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2020/march/sy-garte-science-answers-inconvenient-questions.html
** True Prime Stories **
On April 4th, 1968, John MacArthur was speaking with John Perkins and Charles Evers, the brother of Medgar Evers (d. 6-12-63), in Jackson, Mississippi. Suddenly, a man burst into the room and said, “Martin Luther King has been assassinated!” In 1969, John M. Perkins led boycott efforts during the Civil Rights Movement. During the following year, Perkins was arrested and tortured because of his involvement in a protest march in Mendenhall (MS). Because of his association with those in the Civil Rights Movement, John MacArthur was once taken to the police station – being accused of stirring up trouble.
John MacArthur – Servant of the Word and Flock by Iain H. Murray (Banner of Truth, Edinburgh, UK, 2011), p. 26.
