My heart hurts this morning.

I don’t watch the news. I find it extremely damaging to my mental health and anxiety, so when current events begin to infiltrate my social media channels, it’s usually the first I hear about it. This past week, I learned that here in my own province of British Columbia, the bodies of 215 kids were found on the property of a residential school. 215. If you want to truly feel the impact of that, look at the circulating image of 215 pairs of shoes currently on display in downtown Vancouver. Devastating. Shameful. It’s an embarrassment to our country.

I don’t like to be a bandwagon jumper. It’s why I haven’t publicly commented on this until now. Before I said anything, I needed time to personally reflect on this atrocity. How could this have happened? Unfortunately, I have to plead ignorance in regards to this situation. I just didn’t know. I was never taught in school about residential schools. It wasn’t until I moved to my current town that I learned anything about what a residential school was – or how recently they were still functioning. It’s like it was some huge cover-up that no one talked about. To all those families who have experienced the heartbreak associated with these schools, I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I didn’t know. And I promise that I will continue to educate myself and my children about this history in hopes that it won’t happen again.

Unfortunately, human history has a bad track record of hurting one another. I think back to my own personal family history. Being of mostly Scottish ancestry, a significant event that stands out to me is the Battle of Culloden in 1746. My family were proud Highlanders. They had their own language, traditions, and ways of life. They wanted to keep their lands, their King, and their culture alive. That all ended with short and bloody battle with the English. The Scots lost, and all the things that made them Highlanders was forcibly taken away. Hurt.

I think of Hitler and how his pride somehow convinced many that the murder of 1.7 million Jews was not only acceptable, but necessary. Or the Rwandan genocide, where close to 1 million rebels, soldiers, and many civilians were slaughtered. Do a quick google on the history of massacres in this world – it’ll shock you. Or simply reflect on the recent acts of terrorism and school shootings that are happening closer to home. Or slavery! How could we treat people that way? How do we justify that? Hurt. So much hurt.

You’re probably thinking, ‘But I’m a good person!’ I know you are. We try to help others and be kind to the best of our ability. However, it’s still in our nature to make bad choices. We naturally put ourselves first. In fact, everything around us screams that ‘you deserve this’ and to ‘look out for number one.’ Is it really all that surprising that we’ve hurt each other as much as we have?

How can we fix this? Revelation 21:4 says, “God will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Oh, how I look forward to that! As a Christian, I believe there will come a day when Jesus will come back for His people. He will end this cycle of hurt for good, and there will be no more suffering.

God has given us free will. He does not force us to choose Him, and it’s because of that freedom to make bad choices that we’re in this place of sadness. Our pride, envy, lust, and stubbornness has gotten us here. It is why we continue to hurt each other over and over and over again.

Come, Lord Jesus! In the mean time, I will continue to pray, reflect, educate my kids, and try to improve myself as best as I can. Until He returns, that’s all I can do.